Marriage and Dating in America

[auburntiger]

whats your opinion on both does it seem like both are fading away or not as popular as they once were?, I can't really give an opinion I've always been shy around females in highschool I was always afraid to ask girls out so I never went on dates.

so whats your opinion has marriage and dating just all of the sudden became unpopular ? and if so what are some things that have contributed to both becoming unpopular?

social media?

a bad economy?

or are people just too lazy to get out and meet their soulmate?

[dakert]

Many people (with young children) here in Altoona PA like to shack up and collect government assistance.

I was watching American Pickers tonight and a blurb said 315 couples get married in Las Vegas every day

It is my theory that if you don't feel comfortable around females you might be a homosexual, especially if you are over 35.

[Tubehead]

I turned 32 this year I still don't girl friend I was interest in girls in school and high school I couldn't drive a car I didn't have money pulse I didn't listen to regular music I listen to Christian music I didn't know how t o drive a car or dance so I just didn't talk to girls plus I was shy I liked one or two girls in high school I never did ask them out or nothing I wish I would have now

[auburntiger]

Originally Posted by dakert

Many people (with young children) here in Altoona PA like to shack up and collect government assistance.

I was watching American Pickers tonight and a blurb said 315 couples get married in Las Vegas every day

It is my theory that if you don't feel comfortable around females you might be a homosexual, especially if you are over 35.

im 21 I've always been shy around and afraid of females because my of my parents I was born in 1991 and my parents were divorced in 1993 two years after I was born I've always been afraid if I ever do find the right girl we'll end up just like my parents

[shotzette]

Originally Posted by auburntiger

im 21 I've always been shy around and afraid of females because my of my parents I was born in 1991 and my parents were divorced in 1993 two years after I was born I've always been afraid if I ever do find the right girl we'll end up just like my parents

Auburntiger, do you have many male friends? If so, do they have girlfriends? If they do, start hanging out with them and their girlfriends and practice starting conversations. If you are comfortable doing so, let your friend tell their girlfriend that you are shy and uncomfortable and they might talk to you more to draw you out. Your friends girlfriends also may have some single friends that you would like. You may not find your soul mate, but you may acquire some female friends and feel more comfortable being yourself around them.

Sometimes when you are silent, people can assume the worse. When I first met my now husband (we hung out on opposite fringes of the same crowd) he was very quiet. Since he was tall, good-looking, and had an athletic build, I mistakenly assumed that he was stuck up and proceeded to ignore him. Further on down the road, I realized that he was very shy and had been too intimidated by me to ask me out.

You are not your parents. You are not destined to make their mistakes, because the Universe will give you plenty of opportunities to make your own.

FWIW, I don't think you are gay since you *want* to have a girlfriend. It would sort of defeat the whole purpose, wouldn't it?

[cleverfun3000]

[Tubehead]

my mom and dad been married 41 years my grandpapa and my grand mama who passed away just couple years ago were married for 61 years

[cleverfun3000]

Originally Posted by Tubehead

my mom and dad been married 41 years my grandpapa and my grand mama who passed away just couple years ago were married for 61 years

I think that those marriages lasting so long thru thick and then is a WONDERFUL and FANTASTIC thing. But I also think the OP was referring to Marriage (and Dating) as it relates to couples TODAY. It's losing popularity as we speak. Why? Well, you can legislate a lot of things; but you Cant Legislate LOVE. You can't make me sign a contract that makes me love someone FOREVER. There are many, many deal-breakers that can destroy, ruin and end relationships between men and women.

[Coffeecup]

It is my theory that if you don't feel comfortable around females you might be a homosexual, especially if you are over 35. "Dakert said"
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Really!! What do you classify as a homosexual? I would tend to think that if you don't date the opposite sex it doesn't mean you are gay. I see as just being a little nervous, maybe you just don't click with anyone, you need help in having a good fun time. Don't we all need fun.. One needs to find people in an environment that makes one feel at ease. Automatically saying if you don't date, or feel comfortable with people, you are gay. Wow.

[Coffeecup]

I do find people don't date. Several age 20 somethings i know of hang out with the opposite sex and then you hear a baby is on the way. I don't really hear the word LOVE anywhere. I know of 2 people and the arrangement they have makes me shake my head.

[isiahthomas]

I know Shotzette is gonna get mad at me for what i'm about to say and i don't care but the reason why some guys don't approach women is because a lot of cute women are stuck up and materialistic. I know for a fact that a lot of black women are like that and they got a attitude. So therefore i don't talk to them even though i love black women. I've dated several black women and there was a few of them that liked me but that was when i lived in Cleveland. I've noticed since i been living in Maryland that a lot of black women here are terrible. I've tried talking to a few white women and they played me meaning they took my phone number and said they were gonna call and they never did. So i basically have given up on women and that's sad because i love women. But i just want them to change their weird behavior and a lot of them refuse to change. Then they wonder why men call them b*tches and golddiggers hahahahahahahahahahaha. A lot of women don't know what love means and a lot of men don't know what love means. I think most men only want sex from women and that's why women have this ugly mentality towards men thinking men are dogs and no good.


I do blame some men for women being mean because a lot of men have done women wrong by just wanting sex and getting them pregnant and don't wanna take care of the kids. This is black men that i'm referring to because i don't see many white men abandoning their kids. There's been times when i've been horny and i've gotten with prostitutes because i can't get a girlfriend because i'm afraid of approaching women because i've had more bad experiences with talking to women than good experiences. I don't see anything wrong with prostitution and i don't know why some people make a big deal about it because there's some men who can't get girlfriends and they're gonna get a prostitute or a escort service. My only problem with prostitution is men who are pimps and they beat women. I don't like men who beat women. Men need to learn that if they got a problem with women to talk to them about the problem or walk away. Beating women isn't gonna solve the problem because all that's gonna do is get men sent to jail.

[MacLeaper]

I do blame some men for women being mean because a lot of men have done women wrong by just wanting sex and getting them pregnant and don't wanna take care of the kids. This is black men that i'm referring to because i don't see many white men abandoning their kids.

Well, let's not bring racial stereotypes into it- I'm pretty sure it happens with white men as well. (And Hispanics, Asians, Indians, etc.) And it is sad whenever it happens with anyone.

A lot of women don't know what love means and a lot of men don't know what love means.

I totally agree with this.
None of us really know what love truly is outside of God and the kindness He has shown us. As 1 John 4:8 says, "God is love." And we love because He first loved us. (1 John 4:19)
And God demonstrates His own love for us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)
That is the picture of love God has given us- and that's the self-sacrificing kind of love we are supposed to have for one another. 1 Corinthians 13 gives us a beautiful picture of love-patient, kind, not envying, not boastful, not arrogant, not rude, doesn't insist on its own way, not irritable, not resentful, not rejoicing at wrongdoing- rather, rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
Ephesians 5 is also another great place to see the love that God calls us to have in a marriage relationship- A wife is love and submit to her husband, as to The Lord. (Note that the woman is called to submit to her husband as unto The Lord- so it is an act of worship to God. Also note that this is NOT an excuse for men to mistreat or lord it over their wives.) Rather, husbands- LOVE your wives as Christ loved the church- and gave Himself for the church! Husbands are called to be self-sacrificing to their wives and loving them with the same love that Christ has for the church. It is much easier for wives to submit to their husbands when husbands love their wives as they are called to do. And this doesn't mean that wives don't have a say in things and that they just blindly follow orders like good little soldiers. The wife should certainly help guide her husband back to The Lord and His Word when he is straying- but the principle here is that when it comes to a tough decision that both the wife and husband have different opinions on- ultimately, the wife is called to submit to her husband's authority because God has placed him as the head of the household. Of course, this means that God will hold the husband responsible for his family and he will answer for bad decisions that he led his family into.
To get back to the original question, I don't think marriage or dating are dead. But I do think that many people unfortunately have a very wrong view of what both should be and that is very sad. The Song of Solomon (or Song of Songs) offers a beautiful picture of the love between a husband and wife, which is also a great reflection of the love God has for us. Jesus also spoke on marriage in Matthew 19 and reminded us of Genesis 2:24, which He quoted- "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two shall become one flesh." This is significant because this verse shows us God's model for marriage that He instituted from the beginning- a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife- the one woman he has committed to be with for the rest of his life- and they are united in the bonds of holy matrimony- THEN the two become one flesh. (i.e. sexual union).
This is also part of the problem- sex has become such a casual word that we even have a term now called "casual sex". This is what is blatantly displayed on so many sitcoms and movies, etc. and it is sad that most shows seem to act as if the expected societal norm is for men and women to engage in sexual union numerous times during dating before ever bothering to get married- if they even do bother to get married. A distorted view of marriage and sex leads to a devaluement of people- men and women become nothing more than sexual commodities and this is a very sad and messed up picture indeed.
The Bible speaks many times against adultery and sexual immorality- see 1 Corinthians 6 and 7 for two great chapters that address these issues- all of chapter 7 addresses the issue of marriage and gives advice for single people. Sex is a very special act that is to be reserved only for the marriage bed- it should only be performed between a married man and woman. And they should only be living with each other after they have gotten married.
As Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:48, we are to be perfect as our Heavenly Father is perfect. Of course, we are all sinners and all fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23) and thus, we all need God's forgiveness and salvation which He has given through Christ's death and Resurrection- all we need do is put our faith and trust in Him. (Romans 6:23 and Romans 10:8-13)
Even for those in Christ, we still sin at times and praise God that He has given us 1 John 1:9 - if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
And He is still working in us to bring us to completion and perfection on the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6)
And if we are in Christ, then we have died and our lives are now hidden with Christ in God. (Colossians 3:1-4) And we no longer live, but it is Christ who lives in us. (Galatians 2:20) And we are the body of Christ- and when we sin sexually, it is like we are uniting Christ with sexual sin- and certainly Jesus would never be involved with that. (1 Corinthians 6 particularly talks about this.) And when we have accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior and are following Him, then we are not our own- we have been bought with a price. Therefore, we must honor God with our bodies.

[isiahthomas]

Believe me there's more black men than white, hispanic, asian men that don't take care of their kids. If you were to look up some statistics about it, i bet i'll be right.

[cleverfun3000]

Look, this is what's REALLY going on. Most women will not be the kind of woman you want, period. After you turn 25, you want a woman to be as good on the INSIDE as she looks on the OUTSIDE. Most women have not mastered that trick yet. They are usually one or the other, but very rarely are they BOTH. Don't give up. Don't stop speaking to and dating women until you find the ones that are as close to perfect for you as possible. Understand that finding the RIGHT woman is equal to hitting the lottery. When you look at it THAT way, you will be les upset about so many "losing tickets." But whatever you do, do not, I repeat, do NOT stop looking for the women that are already the way you WANT them to be. Never, ever under ANY circumstances try to change a woman into the type of person you want her to be. That Trick NEVER works. Good Hunting and keep trying, you will find several that suit your criteria.

[isiahthomas]

I'm sorry man but i've given up on women LOL. I'm tired of chasing after them and getting rejected and i'm tired of them giving me attitude. I'll always love women but i'm done with them. Only way i'll deal with a woman is if she approaches me and that's not gonna happen LOL. I may have to go back to Cleveland to find a woman because i'm not gonna find one in Virginia and Maryland. Black women in Cleveland are much better than the black women here. The thing i like about black women in Cleveland is that they will date black men as long as you got a job and a car because i couldn't believe that i had a few black women that approached me there because that usually doesn't happen to me.