Please Don't Read If You're Easily Offended By Race! - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Warm & Fuzzy · 02-18-2002, 11:19 PM

New York City Subway Etiquette for Blacks, Whites & Asians:

What White People on the subway want Black People to know:

1. If there are two inches of space between two people on a seat,it
doesn't entitle your big ass to squeeze in that space!!
2. Eating Popeye's Chicken, Pizza, McDonald's or cheese puffs is not
permitted on the train.
3. Just because you got the latest Puff Daddy cd, doesn't mean that the
whole subway car needs to hear it.
4. Your kids should not change the destination signs or spin on the poles
like strippers.
5. Men: Yes, we know your penis is big. Now close your legs so someone else can sit down!
6. The very last car is not the "Smoking Lounge".
7. Girls, before leaving, please wipe off the seat if your ass cheeks are not covered by your shorts.

What Black people on the subway want White People to Know:

1. Your laptop & Starbucks coffee did not pay $1.50 to ride, move it so I
can sit down.
2. When you yell at your kids, it's ok to cuss them out & smack them along
side the head.
3. If someone is in the doorway, and they are not budging because it is
oo crowded to move......DO NOT PUSH THEM... Just a kind warning.
4. White bitch, if you don't stop flinging your hair back in my face, you
ain't gonna have any hair.
5. There is no need to completely spread out your Wall Street Journel
during rush hour.
6. Staring too hard at her round booty might get you knocked out.
7. Don't brag about how well your 401k plan is doing. We don't want to know.

What ALL people on the subway want Asian people to know:

1. Let the people OFF the train first!
2. Do NOT eat garlic or ginger first thing in the morning.
3. The seat goes to the person closest to it, not the one who can run the
fastest.
4. More than 4 plastic produce bags per person are not permitted on the
train.
5. When in groups of 2 or more, please speak english, & make sure you keep
the volume under the decibels of any busy airport!
6. Just because you're little doesn't mean you can't be fat.
7. Let the people OFF the train first (worth repeating)..
8. Just cause you're tired, doesn't mean you can fall asleep against the
nearest person.
9. Just because you worked all day in a deli doesn't mean that you can now
pick your nose in front of others!
10. And Thanks for those $1 batteries

Thank you for riding the MTA, stand clear of the closing doors.

Kay Scarpetta · 02-18-2002, 11:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jo's the bomb

1. Your laptop & Starbucks coffee did not pay $1.50 to ride, move it so I can sit down.

that's.... harsh. I take pride in my Starbucks!!!

Warm & Fuzzy · 02-18-2002, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever

that's.... harsh. I take pride in my Starbucks!!!

LOL.

I got this from a e-mail...

Kay Scarpetta · 02-18-2002, 11:27 PM

oh God I know the above is kinda mean but oh my Lord, that's some funny stuff

consentida · 02-18-2002, 11:28 PM

Ok....i cant even comment on anything here cuz nothing applies to me. What happened to the Hispanic people? huh? lol

Kay Scarpetta · 02-18-2002, 11:42 PM

yeah- I'm curious to know. What applies to Hispanic people lol

consentida · 02-18-2002, 11:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever
yeah- I'm curious to know. What applies to Hispanic people lol

um....lets see....i'm hispanic and i cant think of a darn thing. maybe i'm not hispanic enuff. lol. i guess i'll get back to ya on that one

Kay Scarpetta · 02-18-2002, 11:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by consentida25

um....lets see....i'm hispanic and i cant think of a darn thing. maybe i'm not hispanic enuff. lol. i guess i'll get back to ya on that one

LOL ok

Bootsy Whoosh · 02-18-2002, 11:51 PM

**bear with me here**

Ya know, I'm actually writing a paper right now on what Toni Morrison calls "Africanisms" that appear in literature... In her book, Playing in the Dark: Whiteness and the Literary Imagination, she attempts to examine the portrayals of blacks in Eurocentric literature, and determine how those portrayals have shaped American literature. She also examines how Eurocentric writers define blacks as "others", and this "othering" permits whites to see themselves in a more positive light. (Othering is a fairly common phenomenon that nearly everyone does all the time, though it does not always pertain to matters of race.)

Anyhoo, the interesting thing I find about this piece, is that it could be seen as very offensive to both blacks and asians, but not really to whites at all. Take a close examination of the "insults" to whites. They are actually thinly veiled insults to blacks. First blacks are portrayed as child abusers. Then they give the whites a "kind warning" regarding being pushed, suggesting that if they don't heed to kind warning, it will be followed by something not so kind. Then the black person wants to tear someone's hair out of their head. Aside from cleverly attempting to hide the casting of blacks in a negative light, the "insults" to whites are hardly insults at all. They all refer to white affluence...laptops, Starbucks, Wall Street Journal, 401k. Things that given the vindictive tone of the black "voice" are things we can infer the black person doesn't have and is jealous of.

Please don't think I am being uptight. Please understand that this kind of stuff is what I've been studying for 2 years now, so when I point these things out I'm not trying to act like a smarty pants, I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad about laughing at the piece, I'm just trying to get people to think a little bit more deeply about these things, because they are important. It's just that it's gotten to the point where it is hard for me to not notice these things.

Chocoholic · 02-19-2002, 12:09 AM

LOL! Thanks for the good laugh

I think a lot of those things apply to people of all races though, not just the ones specified. For instance, I've seen quite a few black people take up an extra seat for their coffee and laptop computer, and I've also been shoved aside by people of all skin colors who think they're somehow automatically entitled to a seat.

Ags2000 · 02-19-2002, 12:22 AM

LOL

LOL

D

Warm & Fuzzy · 02-19-2002, 12:32 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bootsy Whoosh
**bear with me here**

Ya know, I'm actually writing a paper right now on what Toni Morrison calls "Africanisms" that appear in literature... In her book, Playing in the Dark: Whiteness and the Literary Imagination, she attempts to examine the portrayals of blacks in Eurocentric literature, and determine how those portrayals have shaped American literature. She also examines how Eurocentric writers define blacks as "others", and this "othering" permits whites to see themselves in a more positive light. (Othering is a fairly common phenomenon that nearly everyone does all the time, though it does not always pertain to matters of race.)

Anyhoo, the interesting thing I find about this piece, is that it could be seen as very offensive to both blacks and asians, but not really to whites at all. Take a close examination of the "insults" to whites. They are actually thinly veiled insults to blacks. First blacks are portrayed as child abusers. Then they give the whites a "kind warning" regarding being pushed, suggesting that if they don't heed to kind warning, it will be followed by something not so kind. Then the black person wants to tear someone's hair out of their head. Aside from cleverly attempting to hide the casting of blacks in a negative light, the "insults" to whites are hardly insults at all. They all refer to white affluence...laptops, Starbucks, Wall Street Journal, 401k. Things that given the vindictive tone of the black "voice" are things we can infer the black person doesn't have and is jealous of.

Please don't think I am being uptight. Please understand that this kind of stuff is what I've been studying for 2 years now, so when I point these things out I'm not trying to act like a smarty pants, I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad about laughing at the piece, I'm just trying to get people to think a little bit more deeply about these things, because they are important. It's just that it's gotten to the point where it is hard for me to not notice these things.

I see your point there, Bootsy. But I guess none of this was debated before it was sent out to the millions of people...

vienna waits · 02-19-2002, 12:39 AM

LOL

Bootsy Whoosh · 02-19-2002, 12:45 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jo's the bomb
I see your point there, Bootsy. But I guess none of this was debated before it was sent out to the millions of people...

I doubt it too. Such is the way with e-mails. Thanks for saying you can see my point. I can just feel all the eyeballs rolling at me across computers everywhere.

Warm & Fuzzy · 02-19-2002, 12:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bootsy Whoosh

I doubt it too. Such is the way with e-mails. Thanks for saying you can see my point. I can just feel all the eyeballs rolling at me across computers everywhere.

Don't get me wrong though....the humor is not totally lost on me!

LOL! No rolling eyes here.

02-18-2002, 11:19 PM	#1
Warm & Fuzzy Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Feb 02, 2001 Posts: 10,254	Please Don't Read If You're Easily Offended By Race! New York City Subway Etiquette for Blacks, Whites & Asians: What White People on the subway want Black People to know: 1. If there are two inches of space between two people on a seat,it doesn't entitle your big ass to squeeze in that space!! 2. Eating Popeye's Chicken, Pizza, McDonald's or cheese puffs is not permitted on the train. 3. Just because you got the latest Puff Daddy cd, doesn't mean that the whole subway car needs to hear it. 4. Your kids should not change the destination signs or spin on the poles like strippers. 5. Men: Yes, we know your penis is big. Now close your legs so someone else can sit down! 6. The very last car is not the "Smoking Lounge". 7. Girls, before leaving, please wipe off the seat if your ass cheeks are not covered by your shorts. What Black people on the subway want White People to Know: 1. Your laptop & Starbucks coffee did not pay $1.50 to ride, move it so I can sit down. 2. When you yell at your kids, it's ok to cuss them out & smack them along side the head. 3. If someone is in the doorway, and they are not budging because it is oo crowded to move......DO NOT PUSH THEM... Just a kind warning. 4. White bitch, if you don't stop flinging your hair back in my face, you ain't gonna have any hair. 5. There is no need to completely spread out your Wall Street Journel during rush hour. 6. Staring too hard at her round booty might get you knocked out. 7. Don't brag about how well your 401k plan is doing. We don't want to know. What ALL people on the subway want Asian people to know: 1. Let the people OFF the train first! 2. Do NOT eat garlic or ginger first thing in the morning. 3. The seat goes to the person closest to it, not the one who can run the fastest. 4. More than 4 plastic produce bags per person are not permitted on the train. 5. When in groups of 2 or more, please speak english, & make sure you keep the volume under the decibels of any busy airport! 6. Just because you're little doesn't mean you can't be fat. 7. Let the people OFF the train first (worth repeating).. 8. Just cause you're tired, doesn't mean you can fall asleep against the nearest person. 9. Just because you worked all day in a deli doesn't mean that you can now pick your nose in front of others! 10. And Thanks for those $1 batteries Thank you for riding the MTA, stand clear of the closing doors.
	__________________ "To the world, you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world." ~Unknown

02-18-2002, 11:51 PM	#9
Bootsy Whoosh Storms abrewin'... Senior Member Join Date: May 16, 2001 Location: The Alpha Quadrant, Sector 001 Posts: 2,104	bear with me here Ya know, I'm actually writing a paper right now on what Toni Morrison calls "Africanisms" that appear in literature... In her book, Playing in the Dark: Whiteness and the Literary Imagination, she attempts to examine the portrayals of blacks in Eurocentric literature, and determine how those portrayals have shaped American literature. She also examines how Eurocentric writers define blacks as "others", and this "othering" permits whites to see themselves in a more positive light. (Othering is a fairly common phenomenon that nearly everyone does all the time, though it does not always pertain to matters of race.) Anyhoo, the interesting thing I find about this piece, is that it could be seen as very offensive to both blacks and asians, but not really to whites at all. Take a close examination of the "insults" to whites. They are actually thinly veiled insults to blacks. First blacks are portrayed as child abusers. Then they give the whites a "kind warning" regarding being pushed, suggesting that if they don't heed to kind warning, it will be followed by something not so kind. Then the black person wants to tear someone's hair out of their head. Aside from cleverly attempting to hide the casting of blacks in a negative light, the "insults" to whites are hardly insults at all. They all refer to white affluence...laptops, Starbucks, Wall Street Journal, 401k. Things that given the vindictive tone of the black "voice" are things we can infer the black person doesn't have and is jealous of. Please don't think I am being uptight. Please understand that this kind of stuff is what I've been studying for 2 years now, so when I point these things out I'm not trying to act like a smarty pants, I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad about laughing at the piece, I'm just trying to get people to think a little bit more deeply about these things, because they are important. It's just that it's gotten to the point where it is hard for me to not notice these things.
	__________________ Watch your thoughts; they become your words. Watch your words; they become your actions. Watch your actions; they become your habits. Watch your habits; they become your character. Watch your character for it will become your destiny. - unknown

02-19-2002, 12:22 AM	#11
Ags2000 Red 2/13/90 -1/5/06 Forum Veteran Join Date: May 02, 2001 Location: Candyland Posts: 5,544	LOL LOL D
	__________________ RIP Captain Lyle "Fish Stix" Gordon U.S. Marine Corps So this is how Liberty dies, with thunderous applause. -Senator Padme Amidala Can't wait until the 2016 change.

02-19-2002, 12:39 AM	#13
vienna waits avatars are stupid. Forum Superstar Join Date: May 18, 2001 Location: Ravenclaw Common Room Posts: 29,859	LOL
	__________________ Me: Did you see Dunkleman in the audience at the finale? Crystal: No! Me: Yeah, that's because he wasn't invited.

02-18-2002, 11:27 PM	#4
Kay Scarpetta Defy Gravity 8.26.05 Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Location: La Vie Boheme Posts: 28,013	oh God I know the above is kinda mean but oh my Lord, that's some funny stuff

02-18-2002, 11:28 PM	#5
consentida oh, you pretty things Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 21, 2002 Location: New York Posts: 3,841	Ok....i cant even comment on anything here cuz nothing applies to me. What happened to the Hispanic people? huh? lol

02-18-2002, 11:42 PM	#6
Kay Scarpetta Defy Gravity 8.26.05 Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Location: La Vie Boheme Posts: 28,013	yeah- I'm curious to know. What applies to Hispanic people lol

02-19-2002, 12:09 AM	#10
Chocoholic Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 01, 2000 Location: Between a rock and a hard place. Posts: 11,235	LOL! Thanks for the good laugh I think a lot of those things apply to people of all races though, not just the ones specified. For instance, I've seen quite a few black people take up an extra seat for their coffee and laptop computer, and I've also been shoved aside by people of all skin colors who think they're somehow automatically entitled to a seat.