A Honeymooners Mother's Day skit:

[Frank Gannucci]

(Ralph & Alice are in the kitchen arguing.)

Alice: "Now, you listen to me Ralph. YOU are coming with me to visit my mother on Mother's Day."

Ralph: "Oh, I hardly think so. I am not coming with you. I am going on a fishing trip with Ed Norton. He is upstairs arguing with Trixie saying that he will not visit her mom."

(Clatter is heard upstairs.)

Ed (from upstairs, yells): "TRIXIE, PUT DOWN THAT SOUP BOWL."

(Crash is heard upstairs.)

Alice: "You are going."

Ralph: "I am not."

Alice: "You are going."

Ralph (yells): "I AM NOT."

Alice (yells): "YOU ARE GOING."

Ralph (yells): "I AM NOT."

Alice (yells): "YOU ARE NOT."

Ralph (yells): "I AM GOING. I MEAN THAT I AM NOT."

Alice (yells): "OOOOOH!"

(On Mother's Day morning at 5a. Ralph is getting into the car with Ed.)

Ralph: "Good thing that Freddie Muller has loaned us this car."

Ed: "Time to have fun."

(Unbeknownst to the boys, the girls are right behind them. Ralph goes to start the car. It won't start.)

Alice: "Maybe it will help Ralph if you read the manual."

Ralph (sarcastically): "Oh, thanks Alice." (realizing that Alice just spotted him, hinks the horn and yells): "WOAH!"

Ed: "Ralph, I ain't got the courage to look back there. Is Mrs. Norton back there."

Trixie: "Yes, I am."

Alice: "Ralph, how could you?"

Trixie: "Yeah Ed, how could you? We were going to be extremely upset at you two for ditching us."

Alice: "Yeah, we never would do this to you if we hated your mothers."

Ralph: "You're right. Sorry Alice."

Ed: "Sorry Trixie."

Ralph: "A mother is one of the most special people in people's lives. Alice, I know that if we ever became parents, you would be a great mom."

Ed: "Same here Trixie if you know what I mean."

Alice: "Oh Ralph."

Ralph: "Baby, you're the greatest."

(Both couples hug and kiss.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)


Jackie: "Thank you. I want to wish all the mothers a Happy Mother's Day. The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST!"

(Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "Let's bring out the cast. Jean Kean."

(The crowd applauds as Jena comes on stage and kisses Jackie.)

Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."

(The audience applauds as Audrey comes on stage and kisses Jackie.)

Jackie: "Art Carney."

(The audience applauds as Art comes on stage and shakes Jackie's hand.)

Jackie (yells): "GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)