Could you get into ANY trouble at all over this? - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frump · 05-02-2013, 04:06 PM

Ok I'm just asking b/c I'm paranoid of getting into trouble.

But I used to work with some ppl who treated me what I consider to be really bad.

Of course at the time I couldn't say nor do anything about it for fear of losing my job, well I no longer work there and it's been YEARS, but I've come across some of my old co workers on FB, and I've been, for YEARS wanting to write them letters telling them just how bad they made me feel and how horrible I thought they were to me.

I know they prolly won't care, but it's just something I've been needing to do for a long time now.

What I want to know is there any danger of ME getting into any trouble at all for doing something like this? I mean they won't be nasty letters no threats or anything like that, but just letter expressing how they made me feel.

Is there anyway though it could be considered harrassment or get my FB account closed or ANYTHING like that?

I'm just curious.

Zoneboy · 05-02-2013, 04:18 PM

As long as no threats are made I don't see how you can get into trouble. It's not against the law to write a letter to someone.

Retro4Life · 05-02-2013, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frump

Ok I'm just asking b/c I'm paranoid of getting into trouble.

But I used to work with some ppl who treated me what I consider to be really bad.

Of course at the time I couldn't say nor do anything about it for fear of losing my job, well I no longer work there and it's been YEARS, but I've come across some of my old co workers on FB, and I've been, for YEARS wanting to write them letters telling them just how bad they made me feel and how horrible I thought they were to me.

I know they prolly won't care, but it's just something I've been needing to do for a long time now.

What I want to know is there any danger of ME getting into any trouble at all for doing something like this? I mean they won't be nasty letters no threats or anything like that, but just letter expressing how they made me feel.

Is there anyway though it could be considered harrassment or get my FB account closed or ANYTHING like that?

I'm just curious.

Personally, I don't know if you would 'get into trouble' at all (though I assume if you wrote your notes appropriately, you wouldn't), but I wouldn't even bother contacting them.

To me, that would be a sure sign to them that there actions and opinions mattered to you, and that seems like giving them a victory of sorts. I've heard that "living well is the best revenge", and that's what I would do. They are not going to apologize to you or suddenly say, "Oh, wow, I didn't realize that being cruel to someone could actually hurt their feelings. Now I guess I should change my ways!" That's not going to happen. So what's the point?

Learn from their mistakes, think positive and move on, I say.

Frump · 05-02-2013, 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Retro4Life

Personally, I don't know if you would 'get into trouble' at all (though I assume if you wrote your notes appropriately, you wouldn't), but I wouldn't even bother contacting them.

To me, that would be a sure sign to them that there actions and opinions mattered to you, and that seems like giving them a victory of sorts. I've heard that "living well is the best revenge", and that's what I would do. They are not going to apologize to you or suddenly say, "Oh, wow, I didn't realize that being cruel to someone could actually hurt their feelings. Now I guess I should change my ways!" That's not going to happen. So what's the point?

Learn from their mistakes, think positive and move on, I say.

Oh I'm not expecting an apollogy or anything, its just something I feel like I have to NEED to do to bring closure in a way. It's tough to explain.

robyrob · 05-02-2013, 08:17 PM

i think you'd be better off just forgetting about it altogether; it is probably not going to give you any kind of closure or satisfaction and anyone that would treat someone like that in the first place probably would jump at the chance to bully anyone that gives them an excuse. you are better than them, just move on.

Waterston_Fan · 05-03-2013, 09:28 AM

I agree with Rob, you are better off at moving on. I bet those co workers are still harassing others and they probably don't care either.

I'm sorry that happened to you though.

The Flying Dutchmans · 05-03-2013, 11:27 AM

Zoneboy is right. As long as no threats are made on them, you wouldn't get into any trouble. But as long as they get away with it, they'll keep doing it. I say go ahead and tell how it made you feel. It may do nothing to them, but it will help you release. Maybe a release is all you really need. And I'd like to add, that this happened to my sister. She had a co-worker who started rumors about her that were vicious and totally untrue. My sister when she quit that job told her how she felt. She told me "It didn't affect the girl in the least, and I knew it wouldn't." Why did you tell her then, I sad. She said to me. "Oh this wasn't about her, it was about me. I needed to get it off my chest." And it did make my sister feel better.

gidgetgrape · 05-03-2013, 02:35 PM

No good will come of this! These people aren't thinking about you and don't care how you feel. Even if you get a sorry, that doesn't retract what happened.

Let it go! Write a letter on paper and throw it in the garbage can. Move on with your life.

Tweety · 05-03-2013, 04:55 PM

I think if you believe that sending a letter will, in some way, bring closure to that unpleasant situation, then by all means go ahead and send it.

You mentioned that this all happened years ago... how they would react depends on how much personal growing they've done since that time.

If (and that may be a big "if") they have matured and grown up a little, they might see that what they did was wrong, and apologize. If they don't, you haven't really lost much... I'm sure they already know that what they did bothered you. And even if they don't apologize to you, it's just possible that your actions may prevent them from doing this to others.

I don't have to tell you that I'm a huge believer in right and wrong. But in this case, I don't think there's any one "right" way to handle this situation. People can offer whatever advice they want in the form of "go ahead and do it" or "don't do it, you'll just encourage them", etc. In this case though, all anyone can really do is tell you what they think THEY would do in your situation. Doesn't make that way right, and it doesn't make it wrong.

You know the situation better than any of us. Do what you think is right. And keep in mind that you don't HAVE to make a decision today. Think about it.
I wish you the best in this situation, no matter what ends up happening.

Frump · 05-03-2013, 07:25 PM

Thanks everyone

05-02-2013, 04:06 PM	#1
Frump Member Senior Member Join Date: Feb 06, 2003 Location: McMinnville Posts: 1,206	Could you get into ANY trouble at all over this? Ok I'm just asking b/c I'm paranoid of getting into trouble. But I used to work with some ppl who treated me what I consider to be really bad. Of course at the time I couldn't say nor do anything about it for fear of losing my job, well I no longer work there and it's been YEARS, but I've come across some of my old co workers on FB, and I've been, for YEARS wanting to write them letters telling them just how bad they made me feel and how horrible I thought they were to me. I know they prolly won't care, but it's just something I've been needing to do for a long time now. What I want to know is there any danger of ME getting into any trouble at all for doing something like this? I mean they won't be nasty letters no threats or anything like that, but just letter expressing how they made me feel. Is there anyway though it could be considered harrassment or get my FB account closed or ANYTHING like that? I'm just curious.
	__________________ Frump

05-02-2013, 04:18 PM	#2
Zoneboy RIP, I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU :( Moderator Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 13, 2003 Location: AT HOME WISHING ALL THIS WAS JUST A DREAM AND THAT I'LL WAKE UP FROM THIS NIGHTMARE. Posts: 34,371	As long as no threats are made I don't see how you can get into trouble. It's not against the law to write a letter to someone.
	__________________ 'Twas The Night Before Christmas And All Through The Full House Not A Creature Was Stirring, Not Even Mighty Mouse. All My Children We're Nestled All Snug In Their Beds While Visions Of Sugarbakers Danced In Their Heads.

05-02-2013, 08:17 PM	#5
robyrob certified wackball#3 Moderator Forum Icon Join Date: Aug 03, 2003 Location: hiding under the third booth at Arnold's Posts: 58,185	i think you'd be better off just forgetting about it altogether; it is probably not going to give you any kind of closure or satisfaction and anyone that would treat someone like that in the first place probably would jump at the chance to bully anyone that gives them an excuse. you are better than them, just move on.
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05-03-2013, 11:27 AM	#7
The Flying Dutchmans Member Senior Member Join Date: Apr 30, 2006 Location: New York Posts: 1,017	Zoneboy is right. As long as no threats are made on them, you wouldn't get into any trouble. But as long as they get away with it, they'll keep doing it. I say go ahead and tell how it made you feel. It may do nothing to them, but it will help you release. Maybe a release is all you really need. And I'd like to add, that this happened to my sister. She had a co-worker who started rumors about her that were vicious and totally untrue. My sister when she quit that job told her how she felt. She told me "It didn't affect the girl in the least, and I knew it wouldn't." Why did you tell her then, I sad. She said to me. "Oh this wasn't about her, it was about me. I needed to get it off my chest." And it did make my sister feel better.
	__________________ A strange red light as of a phantom ship all aglow, in the midst of which light the mast, spars and sails of a brig 200 yards distant stood out in strong relief." The Flying Dutchman

05-03-2013, 04:55 PM	#9
Tweety Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Jan 18, 2002 Location: Florida Posts: 6,804	I think if you believe that sending a letter will, in some way, bring closure to that unpleasant situation, then by all means go ahead and send it. You mentioned that this all happened years ago... how they would react depends on how much personal growing they've done since that time. If (and that may be a big "if") they have matured and grown up a little, they might see that what they did was wrong, and apologize. If they don't, you haven't really lost much... I'm sure they already know that what they did bothered you. And even if they don't apologize to you, it's just possible that your actions may prevent them from doing this to others. I don't have to tell you that I'm a huge believer in right and wrong. But in this case, I don't think there's any one "right" way to handle this situation. People can offer whatever advice they want in the form of "go ahead and do it" or "don't do it, you'll just encourage them", etc. In this case though, all anyone can really do is tell you what they think THEY would do in your situation. Doesn't make that way right, and it doesn't make it wrong. You know the situation better than any of us. Do what you think is right. And keep in mind that you don't HAVE to make a decision today. Think about it. I wish you the best in this situation, no matter what ends up happening.
	__________________ Straight, and VERY proud of it. No, that's OK, I don't need a parade.

05-03-2013, 09:28 AM	#6
Waterston_Fan Eternal Member Eternal Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 26, 2005 Location: Southern California Posts: 3,195	I agree with Rob, you are better off at moving on. I bet those co workers are still harassing others and they probably don't care either. I'm sorry that happened to you though.

05-03-2013, 02:35 PM	#8
gidgetgrape Forever Gidget Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 20, 2003 Location: Texas Posts: 3,503	No good will come of this! These people aren't thinking about you and don't care how you feel. Even if you get a sorry, that doesn't retract what happened. Let it go! Write a letter on paper and throw it in the garbage can. Move on with your life.

05-03-2013, 07:25 PM	#10
Frump Member Senior Member Join Date: Feb 06, 2003 Location: McMinnville Posts: 1,206	Thanks everyone