Problem With Family Member

[Family Ties Forever!]

I have had some problems with my brother. I haven't heard from him in two months. There is a possibility that he, his wife and their five kids might come out in March during the kids' Spring Break. I'm sure they will expect to stay here where I live. I think it will be awkward if my brother isn't speaking to me.

He overreacted with the Christmas gifts I sent the kids. He also accused me last year of calling the kids, names, which I never did. He even flipped out over a nice graduation card that was sent to his oldest stepdaughter. I tried contacting him through FB a few times, but he has ignored me. I think he should be the one to call me. I don't like how he and his wife treat me. In the past I tried talking to him when something was wrong, but it never seemed to help.

[Penny Lane]

Why do you think he will be visiting you if he is apparently angry with you? I would guess that he won't be coming. I think that it's better to just ignore him . If he wants to contact you he will.

[Retro4Life]

Originally Posted by Family Ties Forever!

I have had some problems with my brother. I haven't heard from him in two months. There is a possibility that he, his wife and their five kids might come out in March during the kids' Spring Break. I'm sure they will expect to stay here where I live. I think it will be awkward if my brother isn't speaking to me.

He overreacted with the Christmas gifts I sent the kids. He also accused me last year of calling the kids, names, which I never did. He even flipped out over a nice graduation card that was sent to his oldest stepdaughter. I tried contacting him through FB a few times, but he has ignored me. I think he should be the one to call me. I don't like how he and his wife treat me. In the past I tried talking to him when something was wrong, but it never seemed to help.

Given these facts, , I really think there's a strong possibility that your brother is mentally ill.

I cannot imagine a situation where a sibling was not talking to me, and yet presumed that I would host him and his family for days. It just...doesn't compute.

You've done what you can; you've reached out to him for explanations and you've been ignored. I think the signals are clear, unfortunately. And personally, I wouldn't go one step further. The ball is in his court and if he chooses to ignore it, that is his loss. You seem like a great and caring sister and aunt. If HE chooses to not understand or appreciate that, or worse, for some berserk reason, to be angered by it, well, frankly, he's got some serious issues to work out.

I'm so sorry that once again family issues are upsetting you. You don't deserve this.

[Sterling Holobyte]

Originally Posted by Penny Lane

Why do you think he will be visiting you if he is apparently angry with you? I would guess that he won't be coming. I think that it's better to just ignore him . If he wants to contact you he will.

That's what I was thinking.

I say, don't worry about it until it happens.

[janet42]

I agree with you Sterling.

[Family Ties Forever!]

Originally Posted by Penny Lane

Why do you think he will be visiting you if he is apparently angry with you?

My sister and mother mentioned to me that my brother and his family might come out during their kids' Spring Break.

Originally Posted by Retro4Life

Given these facts, , I really think there's a strong possibility that your brother is mentally ill. I cannot imagine a situation where a sibling was not talking to me, and yet presumed that I would host him and his family for days. It just...doesn't compute. You've done what you can; you've reached out to him for explanations and you've been ignored. I think the signals are clear, unfortunately. And personally, I wouldn't go one step further. The ball is in his court and if he chooses to ignore it, that is his loss. You seem like a great and caring sister and aunt. If HE chooses to not understand or appreciate that, or worse, for some berserk reason, to be angered by it, well, frankly, he's got some serious issues to work out. I'm so sorry that once again family issues are upsetting you. You don't deserve this.

Thanks Michael.

[shotzette]

Why would you allow someone who doesn't treat you well to stay with you? I'm assuming your door locks.

[Retro4Life]

Originally Posted by Family Ties Forever!

My sister and mother mentioned to me that my brother and his family might come out during their kids' Spring Break.




Thanks Michael.

You're quite welcome.

[Family Ties Forever!]

Originally Posted by shotzette

Why would you allow someone who doesn't treat you well to stay with you? I'm assuming your door locks.

Unfortunately I don't own my house. It belongs to my mother. I pay bills, but it's her house. I can't refuse to let my brother and his family stay here. If I owned the house (which I can't afford to) I would not let them stay here.

[Janice]

Jenny, you know that your brother pisses me off to no end. I think a lot of his attitude is fueled by his bitch of a wife. She's never treated you with respect. You never had problems with your brother until she hit the scene. She gets in your business about living in your mother's house. When she found out that your mother bought the house with money that you gave her, she finally "approved". Who the hell is she to approve or disapprove anything you do or don't do?

I know about nasty sister-in-laws. I had four to deal with myself. Each one nastier and more two-faced than the last. It would be nice if you could stay with a friend for that week, and tell your mother that you would be too uncomfortable being around your brother, who's giving you the silent treatment. It's way too much stress for you. I'm so sorry you're going through this. You're one of the nicest people I've ever met in my life, and I've met plenty. xoxo

[Family Ties Forever!]

Originally Posted by Janice

Jenny, you know that your brother pisses me off to no end. I think a lot of his attitude is fueled by his bitch of a wife. She's never treated you with respect. You never had problems with your brother until she hit the scene. She gets in your business about living in your mother's house. When she found out that your mother bought the house with money that you gave her, she finally "approved". Who the hell is she to approve or disapprove anything you do or don't do?

I know about nasty sister-in-laws. I had four to deal with myself. Each one nastier and more two-faced than the last. It would be nice if you could stay with a friend for that week, and tell your mother that you would be too uncomfortable being around your brother, who's giving you the silent treatment. It's way too much stress for you. I'm so sorry you're going through this. You're one of the nicest people I've ever met in my life, and I've met plenty. xoxo

Thanks Janice. I appreciate your kind words. I think you're right that my brother's wife changed him. He's not the same person he once was. It's a shame. If they do come and expect to stay here, I probably should find somewhere to stay during that time. You're right that it's not worth the stress. It would be very rude of my brother to not speak to me yet stay here for a week.
I'm sorry that you have had to deal with four sister-in-law's that have been awful. The idea of my sister-in-law, times four (with her personality) is creepy.

[*ROGER*]

Originally Posted by Family Ties Forever!

If they do come and expect to stay here, I probably should find somewhere to stay during that time. You're right that it's not worth the stress. It would be very rude of my brother to not speak to me yet stay in my home for a week.

Your brother is the one who should have to stay at a hotel. Why should you be forced out of your own home? And from what you said, your brother isn't speaking to you any way. This is all his problem. Let him stay at a hotel or something. You shouldn't let this guy and his nasty wife take advantage of you. It sounds as if they both have issues.

[shotzette]

Originally Posted by Family Ties Forever!

Unfortunately I don't own my house. It belongs to my mother. I pay bills, but it's her house. I can't refuse to let my brother and his family stay here. If I owned the house (which I can't afford to) I would not let them stay here.

Well, if you don't own it, it's *your mother's* house, not yours. Since you pay the bills, your feelings should count for something. If you can't afford to purchase a home, perhaps it may be time to consider moving out and renting something on your own or with a roommate? Your feelings are evidently not being taken into consideration here.

[AB]

Sorry you're having problems with your brother & his wife. Relatives can certainly be a pain in the behind at times. Maybe you could invite a friend or another relative to stay with you that week and tell your brother there isn't enough room for him & his family.