Episode Reviews: “Lunch Box” & script of “Easter Hats”:

[Frank Gannucci]

Episode Reviews: “Lunch Box” & script of “Easter Hats”:

Episode #44 (Syndicated episode #99)
TV: Attached to "Double Anniversary."
VCR: Attached to "Stand-In For Murder."
DVD: Attached to "A Weighty Problem," "Lost Baby," & "Man In The Blue Suit." Attached to "Principle of The Thing" & "Glow Worm Cleaning." On the Lost Episodes Restored DVD Box Set, it is attached to “Honeymooners Xmas Party” (’52 version), “Glow Worm Cleaning”, “Alice Plays Cupid”, “Suspense”, “Lost Job”, “Anniversary Gift”, “Income Tax”, “What’s Her Name”, “Alice’s Aunt Ethel”, “Hot Tips”, “Norton Moves In”, “Ralph’s Diet”, “Dinner Guest”, “Manager of The Baseball Team” (’53 version) & “Dorsey Bros. Show.”

Alice comes home and since it was raining out, she puts her shoes in the stove to let them dry. Trixie comes down and Alice says she went out to buy curtains. Trixie says the only reason why she doesn't buy any more curtains is that Ed kept on using them as towels. Ha! Trixie leaves.

Ralph comes home and complains about the lunch that Alice made for him. He said that not only was it inedible; there also wasn't enough of it. Ralph: "What did you try to do, make Exhibit A in a murder case?" Ralph says that the lunch was so bad that the lunch box got heartburn. Ha! Alice says she got the idea for Ralph's lunch from a mystery chef. Ralph: "If he cooks that way, no wonder he wants to keep his identity a secret." Ralph says that the human body is like a machine and it needs fuel so Alice says that next time she will give him a lump of coal. Ralph reveals what Fred has for lunch that is so large it would qualify as lunch and dinner. Ralph wonders where all his fat went. Alice says: "Up there in the brain, fathead."

Ralph orders that his dinner to be made. Alice is so mad that she won't cook dinner. She goes upstairs to Trixie's. She leaves. Ralph tries to cook dinner. He gets a can and opens it with a can opener and reads the instructions: "Empty contents and add a can of water." Ralph does that and after that he notices something strange about those instructions. The crowd laughs as he does this. Ralph thinking about what he did says that he's going nuts.

Ed Norton comes down. Ed says that Alice is mad. Ed says he is tired of eating peanut butter sandwiches for lunch. Trixie doesn't make them, Ed does. Ed notices that the oven is hot, so Ed opens it and Ralph finds Alice's shoes in there. Ralph, as usual, jumps the gun. Ed: "Maybe Alice didn't have enough money to buy food." Ralph calls Alice down. Ed says that Ralph probably had a pair of socks for lunch. Ralph says to Ed that if he sees a man in a white coat that he should run because it ain't the Good Humor Man. Ralph says woman are on the way out so Ed says: "Which way did they go?"

Alice comes down. Ralph asks why were the shoes in the oven. Alice: "What did you think it was, your dinner?" Ralph: "After today, I won't be surprised. Why not? Tonight, we can have oven-baked wedgies. Tomorrow, we can have slippers and Sunday we can have roasted sneakers." Ed leaves. Alice explains why the shoes were in the oven. Frank comes in and reveals that his and Ralph's lunches were switched. Frank reveals that what Alice cooked was great. D'oh! Ralph made a mistake. Frank leaves. Ralph apologies to Alice.

Episode #45
DVD: Attached to “The Norton Interviews”, Radio versions of “Letter To The Boss” & “Love Letter”, “Additional Sketches & Commercials”, “Lost Episodes Story”, script to “Alice’s Birthday” & “All About Trixie: Joyce Randolph Interview.”

The script for this episode that is on the DVD is very hard to read at times. I will try my best to decipher it.

The announcer introduces us to the show.

Trixie comes by. Alice says that she is been cleaning. She has been boiling the bedroom curtains because they are filthy. She mentions that her and Ralph are going to be coloring Easter eggs so they can give to the kids in the building for Easter. They go into the bedroom to get the mattress back on the end.

Ralph & Ed come in. Ralph says that he is going to have “soup” that Alice just cooked. He asks Ed to try some. Ed says that it needs some salt. Alice comes out and wonders what Ralph is trying to do to her bedroom curtains. Ralph: “What are you trying to do, poison me?” Ed: “I’m telling you Ralph. A little more pepper and it will be fixed.” Ralph: “You are a mental case.” The Nortons leave.

Ralph says he is very agitated and says that he has to put up with a lot of cars on the road when he is on the job. He had his first accident. He hit a police car. (In “The Safety Award”, he said that he never got into a bus accident.) No one was hurt. He got the coloring for the Easter eggs. He got a lot of colors (including white).

Ralph gets upset that for a dozen eggs, it costs ninety five cents. (That pales in comparison to the prices of today.) Alice says that Trixie said that a week ago, they were seventy cents. Ralph blames the farmer. Ralph continues to argue with Alice by claiming that Alice could have gotten the dozen eggs for fifty cents a dozen. Alice: “I’m sorry. I just didn’t think.” Ralph: “That’s it. You don’t think.” She doesn’t? Alice: “Don’t act like I waste your salary away. I couldn’t save enough of your earnings to buy you a new hat for Easter.” Ralph: “What about the hat that I got you for your birthday?” Alice: “The one with the ostrich feathers?” Ralph: “Yeah, that’s the one.” Alice: “Some hat. When I put it on, I feel like hitting my head in the ground.” Ha!

Ralph is steamed. Ralph: “What are you complaining?” Alice: “I am not. My sister’s husband can buy dresses, hats and shoes.” Ralph: “Your sister’s husband doesn’t have the expenses that I do. What are you going to do with new clothes, get on the list of the ten best dressed women?” They continue to argue about clothes. Alice has had enough. She goes into the bedroom to get Ralph’s new hat. He loves it even though it's too big. He reveals that he also bought a new hat for Alice. She goes to the closet to get it and tries it on. She loves it. Ralph apologizes to Alice. Alice forgives him. Ralph: “Baby, you’re the greatest.”