(A Honeymooners Thanksgiving):

[Frank Gannucci]

(A Honeymooners Thanksgiving):

(Alice’s parents are preparing the dinner. Alice’s Dad looks outside.)

Alice’s Dad: “Oh good. The Nortons and Alice and Ralph are here.”

(The Kramdens and Nortons come in. Audience applauds. Ralph has a look of disgust on his face.)

Alice’s Dad: “Come in. Happy Thanksgiving.”

Ed: “Same to you.”

(Alice’s Mom comes over.)

Alice: “Hiya Mom & Dad!”

Alice’s Mom: “Hello Alice. I see you brought along a character from a movie.”

Ralph: “Who?”

Alice’s Mom: “The star character from the movie Wreck It Ralph.”

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP NORTON!”

Alice: “Oh come on now Mother. Ralph has dropped some pounds.”

Alice’s Mom: “On whom?”

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (whispers): “Ooooh, just one swing.”

Alice: “You will have to forgive Ralph. He found out that his Jets are losing.”

Alice’s Mom: “Oooh! Well, dinner will be ready in an hour.”

Ed: “Good. I had turkey day yesterday where I work. Only thing that happened was the tide came in and the turkey found it’s way into the East River outside.”

Ralph: “Watch it Ed! Watch it!”

(An hour later. Dinner is served.)

Alice’s Dad: “In honor of Thanksgiving, we should say what we are thankful for. I am thankful for being married to you.”

Alice’s Mom: “So am I.”

Trixie: “Ed, I am very thankful to be healthy and be married to a person like you.”

Ed: “I am thankful for being married to a lovely woman like you Trixie as well as for being healthy and having the job that I have as well as being a Raccoon.” (raising an imaginary tail on his head): “Whoo!”

Alice: “I am thankful Ralph for being married to a man like you. You have a sweet disposition despite it all. I am also thankful to have great friends and to be alive.”

Ralph: “I am thankful for being married to you Alice, having friends like the Nortons, being a Raccoon, my job and for being an AMERICAN. This is a great country. All of us should be thankful.”

(They all sing a song about Thanksgiving.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: “How sweet it is!”

(Audience cheers.)

Jackie: “Friends, all of us should give thaanks around this time of year. I am thankful that I am working in front of the Miami Beach audiences.”

(Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "Folks, time to introduce the cast. First, Jean Kean."

(The audience applauds as Jean comes on stage and kisses Jackie.)

Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."

(The audience applauds as Audrey comes on stage and kisses Jackie.)

Jackie: "Art Carney."

(The audience applauds as Art comes on stage and shakes Jackie's hand.)

Jackie: "The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST and the Miami Beach Thanksgivings are the GREATEST Thanksgivings in the world. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)