A Honeymooners Columbus Day:

[Frank Gannucci]

(Ralph & Ed are doing a re-enactment of Christopher Columbus discovering America. They are by the East River. Ralph is dressed as Christoper Columbus.)

Ralph: "Now Norton, do me a favor and don't blow this re-enactment. The Raccoons are counting on us to give a five star performance."

Ed: "I won't Ralph. I will be almost at home during this re-enactment if you know what I mean."

Ralph: "Christoper will be so proud of us."

Ed: "I wonder where the girls are."

Ralph: "Hopefully, they get a front row seat. They will witness a masterful performance from me and it doesn't hurt that Mr. Faversham is here and he might doscover a STAR in the making. I could be a BIG star."

(Ed looks at Ralph.)

Ralph (yells): "DON'T YOU DARE SAY IT."

(They start the re-enactment. Ralph is looking out to see America on the ledge of the ship.)

Ralph (yells): "I SEE LAND! I SEE LAND!"

(Ralph walks further and trips over Ed's leg.)

Ralph (falling into the water, yells): "DUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

(Splash!)

Alice: "I hope that Ralph is all right."

Trixie: "He just flashed an obscene gesture towards Ed."

(Ralph & Ed have a fight while everybody tries to break it up.)

(A soaked Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)