Frasier funny quotes - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

AB · 09-07-2012, 06:53 PM

Frasier & the gang had so many great funny lines & quotes that I thought we could post some our favorites.

Frasier - "Thanks for coming down to celebrate my 2000th show."

Bulldog - "Yeah, yeah, congrats, didn't think you'd last 2 weeks."

AB · 09-07-2012, 06:57 PM

Martin - "Oh jeez, the disposal's jammed. Stick your hand down there & see what's stuck, will ya?"

Niles - "Ah dad, it's me Niles."

andress_jade · 09-07-2012, 08:48 PM

I love a couple from the Pilot episode.

Martin had just moved in and Frasier was telling him about his furniture.
Martin: "Nothing matches."
Frasier:"It's a style of decorating, it's called eclectic."
Martin gives him a weird look.
Frasier:"Well the theory behind it is, if you've got really fine pieces of furniture, it doesn't matter if they match. They will go together."
Martin: "It's your money."

Later a delivery man drops off Martin's chair..
Frasier: "Dad as dear as this piece is to you, I just don't think it goes with anything here."
Martin: "I know, it's eclectic!"

Frasier answers the door and Daphne is standing there with her hand down her blouse.
Daphne: "Oh, hello. Caught me with me hand in the biscuit tin. I'm Daphne, Daphne Moon."

AB · 09-12-2012, 06:19 PM

^ Those are great! ^

Niles - "Maybe it wouldn't hurt to look into getting some of Maris's eggs frozen."

Frasier - "Oh I suspect they're only a few degrees away from that now."

Schmoopie · 09-13-2012, 12:35 AM

Frasier talking to Niles about Gertrude...

"All the wine presses in Bordeaux wouldn't crush that woman."

AB · 10-17-2012, 06:47 PM

^Good one! lol!

At Cafe Nervosa, Roz with a new boyfriend

Roz - "Isn't he fabulous?"

Frasier - "Yes, Yes, fabulous sums it up in a word."

Martin - "I think he's perfect for you Roz, good looking, friendly and not gay at all."

Family Ties Forever! · 02-15-2013, 06:49 AM

Frasier: I cut myself shaving because I was shaving without water. Why was there no water? Because I had to move your chair, which gouged the floor, which made me call for Joe, who found bad pipes, which called for Cecil, who ate the cat that killed the rat that lived in the house that Frasier built!

AB · 02-15-2013, 05:45 PM

^ Good One!

Frasier talking to Eddie after a rough day at the station and you get the feeling he wasn't too fond of pets.

Frasier - "Don't stare at me Eddie. I'm a humane man, but right now I could kick a kitten through an electric fan."

Family Ties Forever! · 02-18-2013, 06:20 AM

Frasier: I see. So we set a lizard loose to catch the cricket? Then what? We get an owl to eat the gecko?! Then we get a tiger to eat the owl? What eats the tiger, dad? Tell me that!
MARTIN: An alligator, for one, smart guy!

AB · 04-21-2013, 02:04 PM

^ lol! ^

Frasier talking to Roz about dating a Frenchman.

Frasier -"So that's it, huh? No Americans left to date?"

AB · 05-28-2013, 06:03 PM

Frasier - "Have you been listening to me?"

Martin - "Well I tried not to but some of it still got through."

Kristen · 05-29-2013, 05:01 AM

Niles comes out, covered in shaving cream

Martin:You know what must've happened? My Hot-N-Foamy must've exploded!
Daphne:He was a detective, you know!

Frasier:Well, no matter what you're feeling now, your reasoning is still sound.
Niles:My reasoning?! My reasoning was based on my mother's obsession with vermin!

Daphne:You know what's curious, though?
Frasier(high on painkillers):Cats?!

Niles:What's that perfume you're wearing?
Daphne(Laughs):Leave it to you to notice. It's Obsession.
Niles:No, it isn't! I was just curious!

Leigh Ann · 05-29-2013, 09:22 AM

Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do, I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.
------
Frasier (about the cricket): Dear God, make him shut up!
Martin: That prayer doesn't get answered around here.
-------
Martin (on the phone): Oh hello, Duke. I can't talk right now. I'm in the Twilight Zone!
--------
Rick's (Alice's father) dad: What's that I smell?
Martin: Probably Japan!

AB · 05-19-2015, 04:06 PM

Frasier: "How can anyone make a sound judgement about another person on the basis of one phone call?"

Niles: "Remind me again what it is you do for a living!"

AB · 05-20-2015, 04:04 PM

A Niles & Roz quote:

09-07-2012, 06:53 PM	#1
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,429	Frasier funny quotes Frasier & the gang had so many great funny lines & quotes that I thought we could post some our favorites. Frasier - "Thanks for coming down to celebrate my 2000th show." Bulldog - "Yeah, yeah, congrats, didn't think you'd last 2 weeks."

09-07-2012, 08:48 PM	#3
andress_jade Life Goes On... Moderator Senior Member Join Date: Mar 04, 2004 Location: Iola, KS or Glenbrook Posts: 1,220	I love a couple from the Pilot episode. Martin had just moved in and Frasier was telling him about his furniture. Martin: "Nothing matches." Frasier:"It's a style of decorating, it's called eclectic." Martin gives him a weird look. Frasier:"Well the theory behind it is, if you've got really fine pieces of furniture, it doesn't matter if they match. They will go together." Martin: "It's your money." Later a delivery man drops off Martin's chair.. Frasier: "Dad as dear as this piece is to you, I just don't think it goes with anything here." Martin: "I know, it's eclectic!" Frasier answers the door and Daphne is standing there with her hand down her blouse. Daphne: "Oh, hello. Caught me with me hand in the biscuit tin. I'm Daphne, Daphne Moon."
	__________________ In Memoriam: John Ritter, Hayden Rorke, Sidney Sheldon, Bob Denver, Don Knotts, Andy Griffith, Elizabeth Montgomery, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Rue McClanahan, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, David Angell, Christopher Reeve, Shirley Temple Black, Larry Hagman, Lucille Ball, Patrick Swayze, Robin Williams, Alan Thicke, Mary Tyler Moore, Prince, George Michael, Jim Nabors, John Mahoney, Penny Marshall, Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher.

09-13-2012, 12:35 AM	#5
Schmoopie Keep Calm and Love Snoopy Forum Star Join Date: Jul 13, 2008 Location: Lynnwood, Washington Posts: 15,697	Frasier talking to Niles about Gertrude... "All the wine presses in Bordeaux wouldn't crush that woman."
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02-15-2013, 06:49 AM	#7
Family Ties Forever! Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Apr 16, 2002 Location: Keaton residence Posts: 10,214	Frasier: I cut myself shaving because I was shaving without water. Why was there no water? Because I had to move your chair, which gouged the floor, which made me call for Joe, who found bad pipes, which called for Cecil, who ate the cat that killed the rat that lived in the house that Frasier built!
	__________________ Jenny

05-29-2013, 05:01 AM	#12
Kristen Member Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 17, 2000 Location: New York, USA Posts: 4,042	Niles comes out, covered in shaving cream Martin:You know what must've happened? My Hot-N-Foamy must've exploded! Daphne:He was a detective, you know! Frasier:Well, no matter what you're feeling now, your reasoning is still sound. Niles:My reasoning?! My reasoning was based on my mother's obsession with vermin! Daphne:You know what's curious, though? Frasier(high on painkillers):Cats?! Niles:What's that perfume you're wearing? Daphne(Laughs):Leave it to you to notice. It's Obsession. Niles:No, it isn't! I was just curious!
	__________________ Twitter \| Facebook \| Swagbucks \| Fanfiction Avatar Credit: Leigh Ann

09-07-2012, 06:57 PM	#2
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,429	Martin - "Oh jeez, the disposal's jammed. Stick your hand down there & see what's stuck, will ya?" Niles - "Ah dad, it's me Niles."

09-12-2012, 06:19 PM	#4
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,429	^ Those are great! ^ Niles - "Maybe it wouldn't hurt to look into getting some of Maris's eggs frozen." Frasier - "Oh I suspect they're only a few degrees away from that now."

10-17-2012, 06:47 PM	#6
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,429	^Good one! lol! At Cafe Nervosa, Roz with a new boyfriend Roz - "Isn't he fabulous?" Frasier - "Yes, Yes, fabulous sums it up in a word." Martin - "I think he's perfect for you Roz, good looking, friendly and not gay at all."

02-15-2013, 05:45 PM	#8
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,429	^ Good One! Frasier talking to Eddie after a rough day at the station and you get the feeling he wasn't too fond of pets. Frasier - "Don't stare at me Eddie. I'm a humane man, but right now I could kick a kitten through an electric fan."

02-18-2013, 06:20 AM	#9
Family Ties Forever! Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Apr 16, 2002 Location: Keaton residence Posts: 10,214	Frasier: I see. So we set a lizard loose to catch the cricket? Then what? We get an owl to eat the gecko?! Then we get a tiger to eat the owl? What eats the tiger, dad? Tell me that! MARTIN: An alligator, for one, smart guy!

04-21-2013, 02:04 PM	#10
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,429	^ lol! ^ Frasier talking to Roz about dating a Frenchman. Frasier -"So that's it, huh? No Americans left to date?"

05-28-2013, 06:03 PM	#11
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,429	Frasier - "Have you been listening to me?" Martin - "Well I tried not to but some of it still got through."

05-29-2013, 09:22 AM	#13
Leigh Ann Member Senior Member Join Date: Oct 15, 2002 Posts: 2,188	Niles: I thought you liked my Maris. Frasier: I do, I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth. ------ Frasier (about the cricket): Dear God, make him shut up! Martin: That prayer doesn't get answered around here. ------- Martin (on the phone): Oh hello, Duke. I can't talk right now. I'm in the Twilight Zone! -------- Rick's (Alice's father) dad: What's that I smell? Martin: Probably Japan!

05-19-2015, 04:06 PM	#14
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,429	Frasier: "How can anyone make a sound judgement about another person on the basis of one phone call?" Niles: "Remind me again what it is you do for a living!"

05-20-2015, 04:04 PM	#15
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,429	A Niles & Roz quote: Attached Images

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