Honeymooners TV Schedule (7/20-8/3) (Please read if you live in Chicago):

[Frank Gannucci]

(WCIUDT4) (MeTV in Chicago [aka WMEU])

Note: This is not on MeTV's national feed. Since this station was the first MeTV station, the schedule may be different then the rest or at least most of the rest.

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.

(CC)

All times are Central.

Fri. July 20 12:30a & Sat. July 21, 2012 12:30a #025 (aka #133) - "House Beautiful" (aka "Pardon My Glove"): Alice accepts a department store's offer to redecorate their apartment for free. She wants to surprise Ralph, so she arranges to secretly meet with the decorator---who then makes the mistake of leaving one of his gloves in the flat. When Ralph finds the glove, he suspects Alice of having an affair. Andre: Alexander Clark.

(Note: According to zap2it.com, WCIU is playing this episode for two nights straight.)

Mon. July 23, 2012 12:30a #92 (aka #90) - *“Songwriters”: To Alice's dismay, Ralph buys a piano thinking he and Norton can write a hit song and become rich.

1a #93 (aka #93) – “A Promotion (Part One)”: On his first day as assistant cashier of the Bus Company, Ralph accidentally locks the safe and must keep the money at home overnight.

(Note: According to zap2it.com, WCIU is NOT showing part 2.)

Tue. July 24, 2012 12:30a #026 (aka #134) - "Young Man With A Horn": The discovery of his old cornet and an unexpected visit by a self-made millionaire prompt Ralph to wonder why he hasn't achieved more success and hit the "high note" in his life. As a result, he decides to make a list of his good points and do something to correct his bad ones.

Wed. July 25, 2012 12:30a #027 (aka #135) - “Ralph’s Big Mouth” (aka "Head of The House"): In the hilarious "Head of the House" (originally telecast March 31, 1956), Ralph marks his "emancipation" as king of his castle by sitting down with Norton to finish a bottle of wine that is "a little strong but good." Their first toast, Ralph says, is "to my wife, who has finally found her place." Actually, what Alice found was a bottle of grape juice, which she substituted for the wine. When the men get plastered and pass out, Trixie and Alice pour their own drinks and make their own toasts. "I give you our husbands," says Trixie. "You can have 'em," says Alice. The wine-and-grape-juice scene, Art Carney recalled, was one of his favorites. "We really were laughing at each other...because we were supposed to be laughing...crocked and everything. Funny scene."

Thu. July 26, 2012 12:30a (aka #136) - "The Worry Wart": Ralph's nerves are taxed when he gets a letter requesting his presence at the IRS office. Alice tries to calm him by reminding him that many people have their returns reviewed. "You're darn right," Norton agrees. "The jails are full of them." Norton, in fact, is helping Ralph review the business deductions he made on his returns and then lends his buddy moral support by accompanying him to the IRS office.

Fri. July 27, 12:30a & Sat. July 28, 2012 12:30a #029 (aka #137) - "Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large" (aka "Trapped"): While leaving the pool hall, Ralph witnesses a bank robbery and takes a bullet through his hat. That's reason enough for him to believe that the thugs will come gunning for him, so Norton tells his on-edge pal to just relax and watch some TV. "What's playing tonight?" Ralph asks. Norton's reply: "Dead Men Tell No Tales." Bibbo: Frank Marth. Danny: George Petrie.

(Note: According to zap2it.com, WCIU is playing this episode for two nights straight.)

Mon. July 30, 2012 12:30a #100 (aka #106) – “Songs and Witty Sayings (Part One)”: Ralph and Norton team up for a contest hoping to win first prize. Against their husband's wishes, Alice and Trixie also enter the contest.

1a #101 – “Songs and Witty Sayings (Part Two)”: Ralph and Norton wake up the neighborhood practicing for the contest.

Tue. July 31, 2012 12:30a #030 (aka #138) - "The Loudspeaker": Ralph thinks he'll be named Raccoon of the Year,20so he begins writing his acceptance speech (if he could only get rid of his hiccups). It's a very distinctive honor, he reminds the skeptical Alice, because it entitles the two of them to "free burial privileges in the Raccoons' national cemetery in Bismarck, North Dakota."

Wed. Aug. 1, 2012 12:30a #031 (aka #139) - "On Stage": "Polo ponies." "On Stage" (originally telecast April 28, 1956) actually began, says co-writer Leonard Stern, "with that one word...and we built a whole sketch around it." And it's that single word---pronounced by Norton (Art Carney) to rhyme with monopolies---that has almost single-handedly made this a favorite among Honeymooners fans. The episode begins with Ralph getting a juicy part in a play being mounted by the Raccoon Lodge's Women's Auxiliary. Suddenly Ralph is strutting around like the Barrymore of Bensonhurst and entertaining dreams that a Hollywood producer in the audience will offer him a contract. But before the actual performance, there's a rehearsal with Norton---and that word---to contend with.

Thu. Aug. 2, 2012 12:30a #032 (aka #140) - "Dial J For Janitor": Ralph can't seem to pipe down about the failures of his building's janitor. Then he finds out that the position pays $150 a month with free rent---and decides to take the job himself. Now the most gripes are coming from Norton, who says he hasn't had water in his apartment for so long that he's beginning to "see mirages." Mr. Johnson: Luis Van Rooten. Mrs. Manicotti: Zamah Cunningham.

(Note: Zap2it.com claims that they don't know what episode is going to be shown. They just say: "No Episode Title: Ralph Kramden schems to improve his lott in life." But, I have a feeling that this episode will be shown.)

Fri. Aug. 3, 2012 12:30a #033 (aka #141) - "Opportunity Knocks, But": When Mr. Marshall asks him for a lesson in shooting pool, Ralph believes that his social visit to his boss's Park Avenue home is the cue for his finally advancing in the company. But it's Norton who racks up points in "Opportunity Knocks But," which originally aired May 5, 1956. The pool lesson just gets under way when Norton---not Ralph---starts offering suggestions about making improvements at the company. Impressed, Marshall offers him a job as "Bus Driver Supervisor." Marshall says he likes a man who can think on his feet, but as an enraged Ralph later tells Alice: "Norton works in the sewer. He has to think on his feet; if he sat down he'd drown." But Norton, who's thinking of accepting the offer, tells his buddy not to worry. "As long as I am an executive at that bus company," he tells Ralph, "you are sure of being a bus driver as long as you live."

Sat. Aug. 4, 2012 12:30a #034 (aka #142) - "A Man's Pride": Ralph is too proud to tell a seemingly successful old friend that he drives a bus, so he says he "runs things" at the company in the last Honeymooners episode of the "classic 39," which originally ran from 1955 to '56. CLASSIC KRAMDEN- Ralph's reaction to the dinner check.

(Note: I didn't know that WCIU was going to be showing the Honeymooners seven times a week. I am sorry. I live in Florida.)

(MeTV)

All times are Eastern.

All episodes are in CC.

This schedule is for some MeTV affiliates due to the fact that some local stations in some markets may also broadcast the Honeymooners and they may take exception to MeTV wanting to show the show as well as the fact that they may want to show other shows.

(Lost Episode schedule):

Sun. July 22, 2012 5a #96 (aka #39/#60) – “‘Suspense’/‘Two Tickets To The Fight’”: (For “Suspense”): Ralph overhears Alice rehearsing her part in a play and thinks she is planning to kill him. (For “Two Tickets To The Fight”): Ralph's plans to see the fights with Norton are ruined when Alice's uncle comes to visit.

Mon. July 23, 2012 5a #64 (aka #76) – *“Hair-Raising Tale”: Ralph is tricked into buying a new hair growth formula. He and Norton proceed to test the new treatment on Ralph's boss.

Tue. July 24, 2012 5a #65 (aka #51/#42) – “‘Manager of The Baseball Team’ ('53 version)/‘Income Tax’”: (For “Manager of The Baseball Team”): Ralph mistakenly believes he's been promoted to manager. (For “Income Tax”): Ralph tries to do his taxes and figures that he owes the government $15.00. Unfortunately, he was saving his last $15.00 for a new bowling ball.

Wed. July 25, 2012 5a #66 (aka #81) - *“Vacation at Fred's Landing” ('54 version): Alice and Trixie want to vacation in Atlantic City but Ralph and Ed insist on going camping. After one day in the wilderness, Ralph and Norton realize that the great outdoors isn't what they had hoped.

Thu. July 26, 2012 5a #67 (aka #69) – “Cottage for Sale (Part One)”: The Kramdens and the Nortons want to buy a summer cottage, but it's too expensive. The seller convinces them that by removing a few luxuries from the cottage, they can afford it. Ralph and Norton immediately accept the offer.

Fri. July 27, 2012 5a #68 – “Cottage for Sale (Part Two)”: Ralph and Norton soon find out that the cottage they bought is not the one they got. Alice and Trixie refuse to help fix it up. Both families blame the other for the mess that they are in. Ralph and Norton try to sell the cottage and both families make up.

Sun. July 29, 2012 5a #99 (aka #148/#45) – “‘Double Anniversary Party’”/‘Lunchbox’”: (For “Double Anniversary Party”): Alice plans a surprise anniversary party for Ralph on the same night that Ralph has made plans to surprise Alice. (For “Lunchbox”): When Ralph's lunch box gets accidentally switched at work; he blames Alice for making him an inedible lunch.

Mon. July 30, 2012 5a #69 (aka #150/#59) – “‘Forgot to Register’/‘Halloween Party’ ('53 version)”: (For “Forgot To Register”): Alice causes an argument when she tells Ralph she doesn't support the candidate he and Norton are campaigning for. (For “Halloween Party”): The Kramdens and the Nortons don costumes for the bus company Halloween party. At the last minute Ralph finds out that the party is really a formal affair for his boss.

Tue. July 31, 2012 5a #70 (aka #104) - *“Boys and Girls Together”: Alice and Trixie feel that Ralph and Norton do everything together and decide to join them. Ralph and Norton scheme to discourage their wives.

Wed. Aug. 1, 2012 5a #71 (aka #68) – “This is Your Life (Part One)”: Ralph is chosen to be on the television program "This is Your Life," but it must be kept a secret from him. When Ralph sees Alice and the show's producer together, he thinks Alice is having an affair.

Thu. Aug. 2, 2012 5a #72 – “This is Your Life (Part Two)”: Ralph and Norton find airline tickets in Alice's bag and believe she is planning to run away with the producer of "This is Your Life."

Fri. Aug. 3, 2012 5a #73 (aka #49/#38) - “‘Ralph's Diet’/‘Alice Plays Cupid’”: (For “Ralph’s Diet”): Ralph's diet becomes unbearable when a neighbor hides all the food for a surprise party in the Kramden's apartment. (For “Alice Plays Cupid”): When Alice finds out Ralph has invited a single friend from the Bus Company to dinner; she tries to fix him up with her girlfriend.

(Classic 39 schedule):

Sun. July 22, 2012 9:30p (aka #124) - "Oh My Aching Back": After telling Alice he was too tired to leave the apartment, Ralph---on the eve of his company physical---goes bowling, throws his back out and comes home hunched over, and looking, Norton says, like "the leaning tower of pizza."

Mon. July 23, 2012 9:30p #017 (aka #125) - "The Baby-sitter": Ralph signals his displeasure when he learns that Alice had a telephone installed in the apartment. Then later, when he calms down, he overhears a telephone conversation and thinks that she is having an affair.

Sun. July 29, 2012 9:30p #018 (aka #126) - "The $99,000 Answer": Ralph Kramden's get-rich-quick schemes were a Honeymooners staple, but the pipe dream in "The $99,000 Answer"---which originally aired Jan. 28, 1956---may be the funniest. Convinced that he'll triumph on a quiz show, popular-music expert Ralph (Jackie Gleason) intensely prepares at home, aided by piano-playing pal Norton (Art Carney), who warms up for each song with a few bars of a familiar Stephen Foster melody. Of course, the second he's on live TV, Ralph's bravado vanishes. Going into the classic Kramden meltdown---the eyes bugging, the lips quivering, the tongue stuttering "hummina-hummina"---he's asked, for his first question, to identify the composer of "Swanee River." DON'T MISS - - Norton's introduction to every song on the piano.

Mon. July 30, 2012 9:30p #019 (aka #127) - "Ralph Kramden Inc.": Ralph needs a loan from Norton, so he sells him a share of his future earnings as a corporation---Ralph Kramden, Inc. It's another con job by Ralph, of course, until he learns that an old woman with a $40 million estate died and left him in her will. That's enough for Norton, as an officer in the corporation, to remind Ralph about one "small detail"---that they need to bring a suitcase to the reading of the will to carry home the $40 million.

*: This episode has been edited HEAVILY.

Credit goes to zap2it.com, the Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD Box Set, the honeymooners.net, tvland.com & John K's Book To The Moon.