Former Van Halen Lackey Calls Valerie Bertinelli "The Yoko Ono" of The Band

[Brian Damage]

On the first night of Van Halen's 1978 world tour, in Madison, Wis., the band burst into the hotel room of their artist development director, Ted Cohen, and threw all of the furniture out of the window.

This was madness, for sure, but a calculated madness. When Cohen — the man sent by the record label to keep them on time and on task — confronted them about the incident, they said they'd read about Led Zeppelin and The Who doing the same thing. Thus, for years to come they left a trail of broken tables, shattered mirrors and stained carpeting in their wake, not to mention fire alarms set off in the middle of the night. The strange thing was the group always took responsibility; in fact, they would budget cash to pay for their hijinks.

That infamous night in Madison began Cohen's trial by fire with the Southern California hard-rock legends, who went on to pioneer a stadium sound that would help them sell tens of millions of records. Van Halen were equally known for their bad-boy personas, not to mention wardrobes that spawned a whole new generation of hair metalers in Spandex.

Of course, Cohen was no stranger to rock-star behavior. In his role at Warner Music, he'd shared private jets with Fleetwood Mac, received home visits from Prince and witnessed firsthand the Sex Pistols' breakup.

With Van Halen, he spent huge chunks of time with them during their late-'70s and early-'80s glory years, in tour buses, hotel rooms, radio station green rooms and backstage, where he was given the duty of distributing backstage passes to the cutest girls in the audience. "Sixty or 70 of them would show up backstage," Cohen says, "and then there was the usual casting call."

If this sounds sleazy, it was; the band members would determine a dozen or so of this group worthy of the "semi-finals" (Cohen's words), at which point about half would be invited back to the hotel to party. Next, "the portable bar was rolled in, and an all-nighter took place," he says.

It's fair to say Cohen was unprepared for this seemingly nonstop bacchanal. Originally from Cleveland, he preferred a casual uniform of jeans and T-shirts and, rather than feathered bangs, sported short hair and a mustache. These days Cohen lives in the Hollywood Hills, and on the occasion of the band's latest tour — which hits Staples Center on June 1 and June 9 — and comeback album, A Different Kind of Truth, he reminisced about his time with the act in the bad old days, at the height of their fame and decadence.

"I was there to keep the lightning in the bottle and make sure they kept their heads on straight," he explains. "Control was elusive, but staying on schedule and on target was mandatory." The band managed to stay focused due to their first-rate work ethic, he adds, but their disparate personalities would eventually rip them apart.

In 1972 brothers Eddie and Alex Van Halen enlisted charismatic frontman David Lee Roth and bassist Michael Anthony to round out their group. [Corrected June 1, 2012.] Cohen first saw them perform at a rehearsal for Warner Music executives at Whisky a Go Go in early 1978. He immediately predicted big things. "It was obvious just how hard they'd been working for the previous six years," he says. "Their craftsmanship was excellent: Eddie was a genius on his guitar, and they jelled incredibly well on stage."

The band's secret, he came to realize, was that even in stadiums they were able to re-create the feeling of an intimate club show.

In the beginning, the members viewed themselves as a foursome of equals, dividing up the songwriting credits and royalties equally, Cohen says. "It was done with the whole attitude of 'We're not going to let anything or anyone beak up this band.' "

Unfortunately, there was a wild card — Valerie Bertinelli, the stunning star of hit sitcom One Day at a Time. After she and Eddie Van Halen met backstage at a 1980 concert, their unlikely union generated an avalanche of tabloid columns. But Cohen maintains that as soon as the television star appeared on the scene, she began to drive a wedge between the members of the group, Yoko Ono–style. (Neither Van Halen's nor Bertinelli's management responded to repeated requests for comment.)

The actress believed Eddie Van Halen should receive the lion's share of the credit for the band's triumphs, whereas Roth was essentially expendable, Cohen says. Cohen believed differently, however: "David was an integral part of the band's success. He was brilliant."

As a result of Bertinelli's interference, Cohen adds, Eddie Van Halen began distancing himself from the band, staying in his hotel room and not spending as much off time with the others.

Cohen recalls the guitarist pouring his heart out to him at the Aladdin Hotel in Las Vegas, which had recently been purchased by Wayne Newton, shortly after Van Halen and Bertinelli wed in 1981. They spoke from 3 a.m. until dawn, watching workmen in a crane replacing the existing Aladdin sign with a neon one. "We kept hitting the minibar in the room and we got toasted," Cohen remembers, "and I just felt really bad because Eddie was so utterly depressed."

http://www.laweekly.com/2012-05-31/m...ter-june_2012/

[catlover79]

Hmmmmmmmmm...

[Dr. Thong]

The thread title is misleading -- this guy was not their manager.

He didn't even work for them -- he was a lackey who worked for their record label.

[catlover79]

Yet another example of taking what you read with a grain of salt!! My friend who read this said he needed mouthwash AND "mind-wash" after finishing the article!!

[Brian Damage]

My apologies

[catlover79]

Originally Posted by Brian Damage

My apologies

Don't apologize!! I didn't even notice, anyway.

[Dr. Thong]

Nice to see the thread title was changed -- I think it more accurately reflects this article.

[yayaya]

Cohen recalls the guitarist pouring his heart out to him at the Aladdin Hotel in Las Vegas, which had recently been purchased by Wayne Newton, shortly after Van Halen and Bertinelli wed in 1981. They spoke from 3 a.m. until dawn, watching workmen in a crane replacing the existing Aladdin sign with a neon one. "We kept hitting the minibar in the room and we got toasted," Cohen remembers, "and I just felt really bad because Eddie was so utterly depressed.

Phfft. This guy Cohen talks about a time when Eddie was a drug user and alcoholic. Of course the guy is going to ramble on and on and say, "whoa is me" and come off as depressed. There is a reason Eddie was numbing and self-medicating himself with booze and alcohol, and it had nothing to do with Valerie. Eddie had his problems before Valerie came along. I think Eddie was feeling sorry for himself and just saying things to the one guy who ended up babysitting him.

[Rambo Stallone]

Originally Posted by Brian Damage

On the first night of Van Halen's 1978 world tour, in Madison, Wis., the band burst into the hotel room of their artist development director, Ted Cohen, and threw all of the furniture out of the window.

This was madness, for sure, but a calculated madness. When Cohen — the man sent by the record label to keep them on time and on task — confronted them about the incident, they said they'd read about Led Zeppelin and The Who doing the same thing. Thus, for years to come they left a trail of broken tables, shattered mirrors and stained carpeting in their wake, not to mention fire alarms set off in the middle of the night. The strange thing was the group always took responsibility; in fact, they would budget cash to pay for their hijinks.

That infamous night in Madison began Cohen's trial by fire with the Southern California hard-rock legends, who went on to pioneer a stadium sound that would help them sell tens of millions of records. Van Halen were equally known for their bad-boy personas, not to mention wardrobes that spawned a whole new generation of hair metalers in Spandex.

Of course, Cohen was no stranger to rock-star behavior. In his role at Warner Music, he'd shared private jets with Fleetwood Mac, received home visits from Prince and witnessed firsthand the Sex Pistols' breakup.

With Van Halen, he spent huge chunks of time with them during their late-'70s and early-'80s glory years, in tour buses, hotel rooms, radio station green rooms and backstage, where he was given the duty of distributing backstage passes to the cutest girls in the audience. "Sixty or 70 of them would show up backstage," Cohen says, "and then there was the usual casting call."

If this sounds sleazy, it was; the band members would determine a dozen or so of this group worthy of the "semi-finals" (Cohen's words), at which point about half would be invited back to the hotel to party. Next, "the portable bar was rolled in, and an all-nighter took place," he says.

It's fair to say Cohen was unprepared for this seemingly nonstop bacchanal. Originally from Cleveland, he preferred a casual uniform of jeans and T-shirts and, rather than feathered bangs, sported short hair and a mustache. These days Cohen lives in the Hollywood Hills, and on the occasion of the band's latest tour — which hits Staples Center on June 1 and June 9 — and comeback album, A Different Kind of Truth, he reminisced about his time with the act in the bad old days, at the height of their fame and decadence.

"I was there to keep the lightning in the bottle and make sure they kept their heads on straight," he explains. "Control was elusive, but staying on schedule and on target was mandatory." The band managed to stay focused due to their first-rate work ethic, he adds, but their disparate personalities would eventually rip them apart.

In 1972 brothers Eddie and Alex Van Halen enlisted charismatic frontman David Lee Roth and bassist Michael Anthony to round out their group. [Corrected June 1, 2012.] Cohen first saw them perform at a rehearsal for Warner Music executives at Whisky a Go Go in early 1978. He immediately predicted big things. "It was obvious just how hard they'd been working for the previous six years," he says. "Their craftsmanship was excellent: Eddie was a genius on his guitar, and they jelled incredibly well on stage."

The band's secret, he came to realize, was that even in stadiums they were able to re-create the feeling of an intimate club show.

In the beginning, the members viewed themselves as a foursome of equals, dividing up the songwriting credits and royalties equally, Cohen says. "It was done with the whole attitude of 'We're not going to let anything or anyone beak up this band.' "

Unfortunately, there was a wild card — Valerie Bertinelli, the stunning star of hit sitcom One Day at a Time. After she and Eddie Van Halen met backstage at a 1980 concert, their unlikely union generated an avalanche of tabloid columns. But Cohen maintains that as soon as the television star appeared on the scene, she began to drive a wedge between the members of the group, Yoko Ono–style. (Neither Van Halen's nor Bertinelli's management responded to repeated requests for comment.)

The actress believed Eddie Van Halen should receive the lion's share of the credit for the band's triumphs, whereas Roth was essentially expendable, Cohen says. Cohen believed differently, however: "David was an integral part of the band's success. He was brilliant."

As a result of Bertinelli's interference, Cohen adds, Eddie Van Halen began distancing himself from the band, staying in his hotel room and not spending as much off time with the others.

Cohen recalls the guitarist pouring his heart out to him at the Aladdin Hotel in Las Vegas, which had recently been purchased by Wayne Newton, shortly after Van Halen and Bertinelli wed in 1981. They spoke from 3 a.m. until dawn, watching workmen in a crane replacing the existing Aladdin sign with a neon one. "We kept hitting the minibar in the room and we got toasted," Cohen remembers, "and I just felt really bad because Eddie was so utterly depressed."

http://www.laweekly.com/2012-05-31/m...ter-june_2012/

Would not put it pass me if she was a ball breaker.

[Yong Fang]

Van Halen was one of the greatest bands of all time. Both the David Lee Roth and the Sammy Hagar version.

I don't know Eddie Van Halen, but everything I have read about the guy is that he is a super *********, and it was him who caused the lion share of difficulties in the band. Ran off two lead singers who produced hits, actually had a third singer which didn't work and was fired. Michael Anthony quits (again the band that made him rich and famous) and Sammy Hagar hates the VH brothers with a passion. Then Valarie after decades of marriage leaves him.

Then Eddie gets his teenage son to take Anthony's place. (Uh, shouldn't that kid be in school Eddie instead of playing gigs and stuff?) The current incarnation of the band was supposed to go to my city, but the date was cancelled because of "personal problems" but I also read that the current band cannot stand each other. Now remember, three of the players are related to each other, while the other three have known each other all their adult lives, and they can't get along to tour?

Don't any rock stars ever just do their gig and then return back to the hotel room, watches some TV and then goes to sleep? You know, regular activities? No coke, strange women, booze everyday, throwing crap out of windows. I worked in hotels and if I were a manager or an owner and someone threw my property out the window, they would be in jail.

Eddie was the problem in VH, not Valarie.

[robyrob]

sounds like somebody is trying to stir up interest in a book they are trying to sell...

[Dr. Thong]

Michael Anthony did not quit Van Halen, he was fired.

When the band wasn't doing anything in the early 2000s, Mikey was bored and wanted to go out and play. Sammy invited him to come on tour with his group. Mike asked Eddie's permission and he reluctantly granted it.

However, when Eddie got word that Sammy and Mike were playing VH songs, he branded Mike as a "traitor" and fired him.

I came to the conclusion a long time ago that Eddie was a head case. It's too bad, because the band could have been making great music over the last decade, but they didn't.

[Yong Fang]

I did not know that Anthony was fired, but that makes sense.

I have never really understood the general setup of bands in general. The four principal members of the group met up in their early 20s, played their music and got famous. Their original name was going to be Mammoth, but that name was already taken.

Now, how does Eddie get the power to fire band mates when they should all have an equal share. How can Eddie just say YOURE FIRED! What of the opinion of the other members? VHS wasn't doing anything in the 00's because Eddie was drunk or in the hospital for cancer because of smoking. Hagar did quit I know and hates the VHS brothers and has derided their music as "corporate rock".

I never quite understood The Dave Matthews Band either. Did Dave Matthews just hire a bunch of guys with him as the leader of the band? That doesn't make much sense either since Matthews was not famous until The Dave Matthews Band.

I don't know Valarie Bertinelli either, but I have the feeling she was the stable one in the relationship and it was Eddie again who screwed the pooch on that relationship.

Trivia, Valarie Bertinelli is a year older than Barack Obama.








Like I have said before, Eddie is the D-bag of the band.

[Yong Fang]

I did not know that Anthony was fired, but that makes sense.

I have never really understood the general setup of bands in general. The four principal members of the group met up in their early 20s, played their music and got famous. Their original name was going to be Mammoth, but that name was already taken.

Now, how does Eddie get the power to fire band mates when they should all have an equal share. How can Eddie just say YOURE FIRED! What of the opinion of the other members? VHS wasn't doing anything in the 00's because Eddie was drunk or in the hospital for cancer because of smoking. Hagar did quit I know and hates the VHS brothers and has derided their music as "corporate rock".

I never quite understood The Dave Matthews Band either. Did Dave Matthews just hire a bunch of guys with him as the leader of the band? That doesn't make much sense either since Matthews was not famous until The Dave Matthews Band.

I don't know Valarie Bertinelli either, but I have the feeling she was the stable one in the relationship and it was Eddie again who screwed the pooch on that relationship.

Like I have said before, Eddie is the D-bag of the band.

[Dr. Thong]

Sammy didn't quit, either. At least that's his side of the story. Sammy claims he was fired, Eddie claims he quit and neither will budge from their side of the story.

I do believe Sammy was fired or forced out. Disagreements that had been building up over a couple of years came to a head in the summer of '96 and that's when Sammy departed VH.

Yes, VH is supposed to be a band of equals, but the truth is that everything revolves around Eddie. The name of the band is Van Halen and without Eddie...well, It's hard to imagine a VH without him.

I'm not defending his behavior, but it's known that at least one ex-manager discussed many major band decisions with Eddie and Alex only, leaving Sammy and Mike out of the loop. That was part of what led to the split.