Funny Dorothy lines - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

vasastan · 04-03-2012, 04:29 PM

This thread has probably already been started but since I couldn't find it & I was strapped for time I decided to just start a new one.

What is your favorite Dorothy (Bea Arthur) quote or line? I love the following one:

Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas

[Blanche compares herself to one of "Charlie's Angels"] Blanche: I once was told I bore a striking resemblence to Miss Cheryl Ladd ... although my bosoms are perkier!

Dorothy: Not even if you were hanging upside-down on a trapeze!

-STEFFY- · 04-03-2012, 07:53 PM

Stan, Sophia, Blanche and Rose are sitting in the living room watching Stan's commercial for the "Zborni" potato opener when Rose says something like "I want a Zborni, how exactly does it work" and Dorothy says "I put up with it for 38 years, you don't want to know."

McGillicuddy · 04-03-2012, 10:39 PM

When Sophia was missing in the hospital:

Blanche: So did you find Sophia?

Dorothy: Yes, Blanche, but I hid her again so you could find her!

Same episode, after the 3 "girls" find Sophia on the elevator:

Sophia confesses why she got her hernia.

Dorothy: Oh Ma, it doesn't matter, I'm just so glad we found you......

Rose, Push Morgue.

jmann · 04-16-2012, 08:44 AM

Dorothy talking about Stan's family:

They're the only people I know that eat chicken and then smell their fingers the rest of the day.

phoebe7165 · 04-16-2012, 11:17 AM

I know I probably won't get this completely correct but I laugh everytime she does this part:

"Excuse me, everybody, that gentleman sitting over there in the blue suit at table 5 is impotent. Bon Appetit."

phoebe7165 · 04-16-2012, 11:18 AM

Stan: I an but a humble servant.

Dorothy: Mr.Belevedere was a humble servant, you're a horse's ass.

80s_Fan · 04-16-2012, 12:01 PM

Dorothy: Blanche, have you heard of the latest campaigns? "Join the navy, see the world... sleep with Blanche Devereaux"? "Join the army, be all you can be... sleep with Blanche Devereaux"?

[getting angry]

Dorothy: "The marines are looking for a few good men who have *not* slept with Blanche Devereaux"!

MikeLutton · 04-16-2012, 02:27 PM

the last one is what i remember the most about it my favorite qoute of that episode lol

dynoguy88 · 04-16-2012, 03:20 PM

BLANCHE: Look at the way she's flirting with him! Disgusting!
ROSE: You flirted with him.
BLANCHE: I'm from the south. Flirting is part of my heritage.
ROSE: What do you mean?
DOROTHY: Her mother was a slut too.

DOROTHY: There is more to Edie than meets the eye. But all we have in common is under the sheets.
ROSE: What's under the sheets?
DOROTHY: His cappuccino maker.

DOROTHY: I have a date tonight.
BLANCHE: With a man?
DOROTHY: No, Blanche. With a venus fly trap.

DOROTHY: Stanley, you're a pig in a cheap suit.
STANLEY: You know, for two cents...
DOROHY: You could buy a better toupet?

McGillicuddy · 04-16-2012, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phoebe7165

I know I probably won't get this completely correct but I laugh everytime she does this part:

"Excuse me, everybody, that gentleman sitting over there in the blue suit at table 5 is impotent. Bon Appetit."

I believe she said that to Stanley's brother. She was dating him and it turned out he was a sleeze-bag just like Stan.

jmann · 04-17-2012, 06:55 AM

Sophia: I need the money for my old age.
Dorothy: Old age? You don't leave fingerprints anymore.

Dorothy: Blanche, are you sure you're pregnant?
Blanche: I just did a home pregnancy test - it's right here.
Rose: It looks like a perfume sample.
Dorothy: Put it behind your ears, Rose.

Dorothy: You'll have to excuse my mother. She suffered a slight stroke a few years ago which rendered her totally annoying.

Sophia: My hiney's asleep.
Dorothy: Fine, we'll keep our voices down.

McGillicuddy · 04-18-2012, 09:11 PM

that last one is one of my favorites!

Blanche: You can't keep him, Rose.

Rose: Why can't I keep the dog?

Dorothy: Rose, there's no one home during the day to take care of him!

Sophia: I'm home during the day!

Dorothy: There's no one lucid home during THE DAY!

jmann · 04-19-2012, 11:38 AM

[Blanche and Dorothy are discussing Blanche's birthday gift to Rose: a detective to follow around Miles]

Blanche: Well I can't take it back, I paid in advance
Dorothy: Can't you get a refund?
Blanche: Well, no, I paid with nature's credit card
Dorothy: You never leave home without it.

phoebe7165 · 04-20-2012, 09:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by markway895

I believe she said that to Stanley's brother. She was dating him and it turned out he was a sleeze-bag just like Stan.

Yes, I'm familiar with the episode. She was pissed at him because he asked her to babysit while he went off with the flight attendant and to get back at him, she announced to everybody in the restaurant that he was impotent. She said it about Stan's brother, not to him.

catlover79 · 04-22-2012, 01:24 AM

"LESBIAN, Blanche, not LEBANESE!!!" makes me howl whenever I hear it.

04-03-2012, 04:29 PM	#1
vasastan Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Feb 02, 2007 Location: Canada Posts: 30	Funny Dorothy lines This thread has probably already been started but since I couldn't find it & I was strapped for time I decided to just start a new one. What is your favorite Dorothy (Bea Arthur) quote or line? I love the following one: Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas [Blanche compares herself to one of "Charlie's Angels"] Blanche: I once was told I bore a striking resemblence to Miss Cheryl Ladd ... although my bosoms are perkier! Dorothy: Not even if you were hanging upside-down on a trapeze!

04-16-2012, 11:17 AM	#5
phoebe7165 Pop Culture Goddess Forum Fanatic Join Date: Apr 15, 2003 Location: US of A - the country of "really bad music" lovers Posts: 11,600	I know I probably won't get this completely correct but I laugh everytime she does this part: "Excuse me, everybody, that gentleman sitting over there in the blue suit at table 5 is impotent. Bon Appetit."
	__________________ Rest in Peace to my Penny-pie. You really were a GREAT dog. I'll see you at the Rainbow Bridge. Penny 9/1/97-12/9/09 Rescued animals make the best pets. Opt to Adopt!!

04-16-2012, 12:01 PM	#7
80s_Fan Healthcare_Clerk Senior Member Join Date: May 26, 2004 Location: Montreal, Canada Posts: 1,697	I've Got One Dorothy: Blanche, have you heard of the latest campaigns? "Join the navy, see the world... sleep with Blanche Devereaux"? "Join the army, be all you can be... sleep with Blanche Devereaux"? [getting angry] Dorothy: "The marines are looking for a few good men who have not slept with Blanche Devereaux"!

04-16-2012, 02:27 PM	#8
MikeLutton Mike Lutton DVD Legend! Forum Veteran Join Date: Jan 05, 2005 Location: usa pennsyvania Posts: 6,886	the last one is what i remember the most about it my favorite qoute of that episode lol
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04-22-2012, 01:24 AM	#15
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,376	"LESBIAN, Blanche, not LEBANESE!!!" makes me howl whenever I hear it.
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04-03-2012, 07:53 PM	#2
-STEFFY- Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Jul 18, 2007 Location: USA Posts: 14,580	Stan, Sophia, Blanche and Rose are sitting in the living room watching Stan's commercial for the "Zborni" potato opener when Rose says something like "I want a Zborni, how exactly does it work" and Dorothy says "I put up with it for 38 years, you don't want to know."

04-03-2012, 10:39 PM	#3
McGillicuddy Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Sep 28, 2002 Posts: 5,179	When Sophia was missing in the hospital: Blanche: So did you find Sophia? Dorothy: Yes, Blanche, but I hid her again so you could find her! Same episode, after the 3 "girls" find Sophia on the elevator: Sophia confesses why she got her hernia. Dorothy: Oh Ma, it doesn't matter, I'm just so glad we found you...... Rose, Push Morgue.

04-16-2012, 08:44 AM	#4
jmann Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Jun 24, 2011 Posts: 66	Dorothy talking about Stan's family: They're the only people I know that eat chicken and then smell their fingers the rest of the day.

04-16-2012, 11:18 AM	#6
phoebe7165 Pop Culture Goddess Forum Fanatic Join Date: Apr 15, 2003 Location: US of A - the country of "really bad music" lovers Posts: 11,600	Stan: I an but a humble servant. Dorothy: Mr.Belevedere was a humble servant, you're a horse's ass.

04-16-2012, 03:20 PM	#9
dynoguy88 Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 01, 2000 Location: Michigan, USA Posts: 3,674	BLANCHE: Look at the way she's flirting with him! Disgusting! ROSE: You flirted with him. BLANCHE: I'm from the south. Flirting is part of my heritage. ROSE: What do you mean? DOROTHY: Her mother was a slut too. DOROTHY: There is more to Edie than meets the eye. But all we have in common is under the sheets. ROSE: What's under the sheets? DOROTHY: His cappuccino maker. DOROTHY: I have a date tonight. BLANCHE: With a man? DOROTHY: No, Blanche. With a venus fly trap. DOROTHY: Stanley, you're a pig in a cheap suit. STANLEY: You know, for two cents... DOROHY: You could buy a better toupet?

04-17-2012, 06:55 AM	#11
jmann Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Jun 24, 2011 Posts: 66	Sophia: I need the money for my old age. Dorothy: Old age? You don't leave fingerprints anymore. Dorothy: Blanche, are you sure you're pregnant? Blanche: I just did a home pregnancy test - it's right here. Rose: It looks like a perfume sample. Dorothy: Put it behind your ears, Rose. Dorothy: You'll have to excuse my mother. She suffered a slight stroke a few years ago which rendered her totally annoying. Sophia: My hiney's asleep. Dorothy: Fine, we'll keep our voices down.

04-18-2012, 09:11 PM	#12
McGillicuddy Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Sep 28, 2002 Posts: 5,179	that last one is one of my favorites! Blanche: You can't keep him, Rose. Rose: Why can't I keep the dog? Dorothy: Rose, there's no one home during the day to take care of him! Sophia: I'm home during the day! Dorothy: There's no one lucid home during THE DAY!

04-19-2012, 11:38 AM	#13
jmann Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Jun 24, 2011 Posts: 66	[Blanche and Dorothy are discussing Blanche's birthday gift to Rose: a detective to follow around Miles] Blanche: Well I can't take it back, I paid in advance Dorothy: Can't you get a refund? Blanche: Well, no, I paid with nature's credit card Dorothy: You never leave home without it.