Reviews: Additional Sketches & Commercials (Part 3)

[Frank Gannucci]

Reviews: Additional Sketches & Commercials (Part 3) “Honeymooners Parody From The Red Skelton Show With Peter Lorre” & “Audrey Meadows Chesterfield Commercial From The Ray Anthony Show”:

DVD: Attached to the radio versions of “Letter To The Boss” & “Love Letter”, “New Featurettes” & “Scripts For Missing Episodes.”

“Honeymooners Parody From The Red Skelton Show With Peter Lorre”:

This opens up with a very similar opening to the Jackie Gleason show with two Glea-like girls announcing the stars names (of course Peter Lorre is among them. Each time one is done speaking; a “monster’s” arm appears, puts their hand on them and takes them away, scaring them. After that, dancers are dancing around a cemetery. They knock on headstones which causes the dead bodies (female dancers) to sit up before they are told to drop dead which they do. I think you can tell they are putting a sheet over themselves like they are going to bed. Men in black clothing appear scaring the girls. They also knock on caskets which causes the dead to sit up and dance with them. Eventually the males kill the girls and take the girls resting places by the headstones. The audience applauds.

Peter Lorre comes on stage as the curtain falls down. Peter Lorre does his best Gleason impression and even says that his orchestra leader, Davy Gross is the flower of the musical world. The camera focuses on Davy as he bops his head like Ray Bloch. Peter asks for some traveling music as he walks around the set. The music? “Funeral March.” Ha! At the end of the stage, Peter says: “And away we go!” Peter comes back on stage and says: “Now, I am even with you Jackie Gleason. I now have the information.” On Jackie Gleason’s Honeybloopers Volume 1, there is a “blooper” in which Jackie has to improvise an entire monologue due to his show running long on time. During this time, he does his imitation of Peter Lorre in which he says: “You don’t have the information for me Mr. Miller. I am supposed to have the information.” Now, its time for the skit.

A gothic Alice Kramden named Malice Kramden is grinding meat. Malice (played by Audrey of course): “I must not grind this meat too much. Ralph likes it underground.” The apartment that is used looks nothing like the real Kramden apartment. Ralph (played by Peter Lorre) comes home. Ralph: “Hello Malice”. Malice: “Your lips are cold. Where have you been?” Ralph: “Driving a hearse.” Ralph says that the traffic was so bad, his passenger got up and walked.” Ralph hopes that Ed doesn’t bother him tonight. Cue Ed Norton (played by Red Skelton) coming down with a bowling ball in his hand. He wants Ralph to play bowling with him tonight. Ralph says no. Ed says that he can’t get his fingers out of the ball. It is so obvious that the ball being used is not a real bowling ball since I doubt that Red Skelton was able to fling a real bowling ball around like he did to that fake one in this sketch. Malice suggests head-shrinking fluid. Ed says that he will do it his own way which is throwing it like a bowling ball. The ball leaves his hand. The sound effects of a ball rolling down a bowling lane with pins falling down are heard. The camera even shakes a little bit. Alice says that they have “peasant under glass” for eating. Ralph doesn’t like that and says his “one of these days...POW! Right in the kisser.” Ed describes his day in the sewer. Ralph wonders if Trixie is home. So Ed checks by putting his head out the window and yells for Trixie. Trixie drops some silver things down which means to Ed that she is home. Ed: “She is probably coming down here now.” She does. A fat Trixie (who was one of the Glea-like girls) comes down and is angry at Ed who calls Trixie his fail BLUBBER. She chases Ed around the apartment with a rolling pin. Imagine doing this in yours neighbors house. They have an argument. Ed kept her waiting at home on their fourth anniversary. (Despite the fact that as far back as 1951, the Nortons were still married. This sketch was done in 1956.) Ed even says to Trixie: “Gee, what a grouch.” Ralph tries to make peace since it’s their anniversary. He is successful. Trixie asks for Ed to put his arms all away around her. Ed: “Let’s not make a federal case.” Ralph: “Aren’t they touching Malice? We should have a waltz.” Malice turns on the radio as the Nortons dance together. Ralph says that they have a surprise for them.

They sit the Nortons down so they can have the cake that the Kramdens baked. The cake says “RIP.” Ed: “Ralph, who is this guy Rip?” Ralph puts tall candles on the table and he and Malice give the Nortons a flower each. Ralph: “Four years ago, you two were buried.” Trixie: “Not buried. Married.” Ed: “He got it right the first time. Haha!” Trixie hits Ed with her flower. They are at odds again as they throw things at each other like they are on Jerry Springer (even throwing things that don’t belong to them. Imagine doing that at your neighbor’s house.) Ed even throws the cake at Trixie. This is easily the most gothic Honeymooners sketch of all time. Since no airdate is given, I wonder if this was filmed right around Halloween.

“Audrey Meadows Chesterfield Commercial From The Ray Anthony Show”:

Ray Anthony appears. Ray: “Meet two of TV’s charming young personalities. First here’s Robin Chandler.” Apparently, Robin is working in an office despite being a TV personality.” Ray: “Here is Audrey Meadows.” Audrey is watering her flowers.” A still of old Chesterfield cigarettes are shown in regular and king-size. Yes, this is a cigarette commercial. Audrey says she likes the king-size pack. In this commercial, she is using what apparently is her real voice which was different than her Alice Kramden voice. Her real voice was much deeper. She says that she loves Chesterfield. Cut to Robin who says she loves the pack as well as other things about Chesterfield. She prefers the regular size. Cut to Ray Anthony who has got a box of Chesterfield king-sized cigarettes and a box of Chesterfield regular size. According to Ray, they can be sold at a low price. I am sure that said low price is higher today. Ray: “Chesterfield works best for you.”