A Honeymooners Valentine's Day skit:

[Frank Gannucci]

(Ralph comes home with flowers, Vermont Teddy Bear and chocolates.)

Ralph: "Good Alice isn't home."

(Ed comes in.)

Ed: "Whaddaya say there Ralph?"

Ralph: "Hi Norton! Being that today is Valentine's Day, where are you and Trix going to do?"

Ed: "Oh, I got a romantic evening planned. After dinner, we are going to watch something special. The whole second season of Spongebob Squarepants."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ralph: "I got Alice some choloates, flowers and a Vermont Teddy Bear."

Ed: "When did you get the time to drive to Vermont?"

Ralph: "I didn't drive to Vermont. I ordered it. The sportscasters on WFAN did a great job advertising this during their shows."

Ed: "Oh yeah. I tried calling them to talk about the Knicks at my place of work but the phone line became washed out. Alice will love these presents."

Ralph: "To think that her old bat of a mother said that I only care for myself and only I eat the chocloates that are given on this day."

(Ed looks at Ralph.)

Ralph (yells): "DON'T YOU DARE SAY IT!" (normally): "Valentine's Day is also the day in which me & Alice are going celebrate our anniversary. We got married on this day."

Ed: "Oh!"

(Alice comes home. They hug and kiss. Alice got some chocolates too and snacks too.)

Alice: "Hi Ed. Happy Valentine's Day sweetie."

Ralph: "Happy Valentine's Day & Anniversary. Something smells great. What is it?"

Ed: "It can't be me. I was just working in the sewer."

(Trixie comes down.)

Trixie: "Ed, happy Valentine's Day. Those chocolates and candy you gave me are great."

Ed: "I am glad you like them Trixie. I also loved that heart-shaped cookie you gave to me. I had it for a snack down in the sewer. It almost washed away."

Ralph: "Gee, I love Valentine's Day. It's a day where you can either fall in love or a day in which you can show your love. Maybe tonight, me and you can, you know."

Ed: "Same thing, maybe you and me Trix can, you know."

Trixie: "That's a great idea but with our respecitve ages..."

Alice: "Yeah, we shouldn't get our hopes up if we expect to, well you know."

(They both sing a song about Valentine's Day.)

(Jackie Gleason comes on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Folks, the Miami Beach audiences are the BEST!"

(Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "In case you are wondering, I was listening to the Internet feed of WFAN and found out that they are advertising Vermont Teddy Bear. I AM computer literate. Hahahaha."

(Audience laughs.)

Jackie: "How sweet it is! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)