Anthony Timpone's Ten Movies He Wished He Never Put On The Cover Of Fangoria

[Torgo]

Anthony Timpone was the longtime editor of Fangoria magazine.

"As Editor of Fangoria, the toughest question I face every month is what to put on the cover. Each time, I must balance commercial decisions(potential movie tie-ins) with creative ones(what's the best image?) I strive to find the most enticing cover ghoul to catch the prospective buyer's eye and convince them to take our magazine home."
- Anthony Timpone

"Many times since we don't see the films before they come out, we have no idea if they will be good or not. So it's a matter of luck and instinct."
- Anthony Timpone


1. Maximum Overdrive, #56


Author Stephen King made his directorial debut in 1986 on this self-described "moron movie," in which the machines of the world strike back at mankind. He also said he was "coked and drunk out of his mind" while he helmed this movie based on his short story "Trucks." Wish I had a similar excuse for putting this ridiculous movie(which features a killer soda can vending machine) on the cover, but I don't.



2. Bad Dreams, #72


The 1980's were littered with Freddy Krueger imitators, non quite as blatant as this 1988 Nightmare On Elm Street wannabe, in which a hideously burned cult leader returns from the dead to haunt survivors of a mass suicide. Real-life burn victim Richard Lynch starred as the scarred baddie, making Bad Dreams an exercise in Bad Taste.



3. Night Life, #82


This obscure 1989 direct-to-video zombie movie, about a young kid getting mixed up with zombies at his uncle's mortuary, is a good little sleeper. What I hate about this cover, which was photographed specifically for the magazine, is that the prop corpse looks so darn fake. That femme ghoul sports the chintziest eyelashes since Tammy Faye.




4. Dolly Dearest, #102


Another cover born out of desperation! Few studio horror movies were produced during the late 80's/early 90's, so I frequently had to come up with special theme issues (e.g. Lovecraft movies, Vampires, Werewolves, Big Bugs), direct-to-video releases, or cable premieres for Fango cover subjects. In this case I chose an awful Child's Play knockoff to herald our Women Of Horror issue.



5. Batman Returns, #114


Only once during my entire tenure as Fango editor was a cover ever imposed on me by my publisher, Norman Jacobs. The blockbuster Batman had set company sales records in 1989 for our sister magazine Starlog, so when the sequel rolled around in 1992, Norm insisted I put this non-horror release on Fango's front to boost circulation. The hardcore readers rebelled, the movie underperformed at the box office, and we probably lost subscribers instead of gaining them.




6. The Craft, #153


This light weight 1996 teen witch movie inspired one of the dullest Fango covers(utilizing the the film's poster campaign) of all time. We also found that cover shots of sexy girls and distaff monsters rarely translate into sales for us. Readers prefer 'em male-specific, plus, the bloodier the better.



7. Species II, #172


One of the worst sequels from the nineties(a decade cluttered with bad sequels), this 1998 sex-and-tentacles flick killed the franchise until the Sci-Fi Channel got into the Saturday night schlock market.



8. Virus, #175


This terrible 1999 Jamie Lee Curtis movie about, about alien pack rats battling a tugboat crew, deserved to be lost at sea. Like the flop film, the cover's a garish mess too.



9. Psycho, #179


Inarguably cinema history's most notorious mistake, Gus Van Sant's ill-advised shot-for-shot 1998 remake of Alfred Hitchcock's classic film led to this equally dreary and uninspired cover.



10. The Haunting, #184


The failure of Van Sant's Psycho didn't scare away producer Steven Spielberg from redoing the great 1963 Robert Wise ghost film a year later. The original film garnered praise for its subtlety and sense of dread; the CGI-inflated redux is lifeless and boring. What were they thinking? What was [i]I[/] thinking? A bad cover for a bad movie.



Source: The Book Of Lists - Horror