When someone gives you a gift you don't want - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Janice · 09-29-2011, 05:46 PM

What do you do? A friend of ours gave us a plant today for our anniversary. It's pretty, and here's the but; I don't like plants. I kill every one I ever had, so gave up about two decades ago. I also have two cats. I can't even have silk flowers because of these furry monsters. They tear them apart.

It was such a sweet gesture, and I appreciate it. I simply can't keep it. She'll be here again and wonder what happened to it. Flowers would have been nice. I could have keep them up high for a week, then toss them. I don't think people should give plants as a gift unless you know the person likes them. A Poinsettia at Christmas or a Lily plant at Easter is different because they don't last long. It's not nearly as bad, but it reminds me of buying a person a pet as a surprise.

Plants need care, special light, etc. Not only that; I also don't like anyone making decorating decisions for my home.

OH Nuts! · 09-29-2011, 06:02 PM

Well if I know they are going to be over and ask about it, I begin thinking of a good reason to explain why it won't be there when they come.

When I know the person will never know what happened to it, I ususally donate it someplace or give it away to someone (but not as a re-gift).

I agree with you, plants ARE NOT a good gift unless you know the person has a green thumb. And besides, many plants are toxic for pets.

I agree with you on the flowers, they are nice and pretty and nobody expects them to last long.

Dork · 09-29-2011, 06:12 PM

Just tell her the plants died

Family Ties Forever! · 09-29-2011, 06:52 PM

I'm not sure what I would do. You're right that plants take special care and with pets, it makes it hard. I'm not a fan of plants either. I also agree that flowers would have been better. With my allergies I prefer not to get flowers. I hope you are having a nice anniversary.

Sorry I don't have any good advice.

Retro4Life · 09-29-2011, 08:14 PM

Gift giving really is an art, and it behooves the giver to really know what the receiver would want. A lot of people give gifts that THEY would like to receive, or that they think the receiver SHOULD like. That's kind of selfish, really.

If you give a gift that needs specific care that you aren't sure the receiver can provide, you should be prepared to find out that the gift didn't work out too well. Nobody has a right to be angry or upset in such a situation because they didn't take time (or couldn't be bothered) to THINK out things before they acted, which is of course a huge problem in all areas these days.

Good luck, anyway.

Brad Russ · 09-29-2011, 08:30 PM

I'd probably keep it for awhile incase they ever came over so they would think I like it, but after about a year, when they've forgotten about it, I will usually give it away, or throw it away. I kind of do the same thing with food. If someone serves me something that tastes terrible, I will say it's good, and would try my best to choke it down without making too many funny faces. lol I just hate hurting people's feelings.

09-29-2011, 05:46 PM	#1
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	When someone gives you a gift you don't want What do you do? A friend of ours gave us a plant today for our anniversary. It's pretty, and here's the but; I don't like plants. I kill every one I ever had, so gave up about two decades ago. I also have two cats. I can't even have silk flowers because of these furry monsters. They tear them apart. It was such a sweet gesture, and I appreciate it. I simply can't keep it. She'll be here again and wonder what happened to it. Flowers would have been nice. I could have keep them up high for a week, then toss them. I don't think people should give plants as a gift unless you know the person likes them. A Poinsettia at Christmas or a Lily plant at Easter is different because they don't last long. It's not nearly as bad, but it reminds me of buying a person a pet as a surprise. Plants need care, special light, etc. Not only that; I also don't like anyone making decorating decisions for my home.

09-29-2011, 06:52 PM	#4
Family Ties Forever! Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Apr 16, 2002 Location: Keaton residence Posts: 10,214	I'm not sure what I would do. You're right that plants take special care and with pets, it makes it hard. I'm not a fan of plants either. I also agree that flowers would have been better. With my allergies I prefer not to get flowers. I hope you are having a nice anniversary. Sorry I don't have any good advice.
	__________________ Jenny

09-29-2011, 08:14 PM	#5
Retro4Life Accept No Substitutes Forum Veteran Join Date: Feb 04, 2009 Location: IL Posts: 6,708	Gift giving really is an art, and it behooves the giver to really know what the receiver would want. A lot of people give gifts that THEY would like to receive, or that they think the receiver SHOULD like. That's kind of selfish, really. If you give a gift that needs specific care that you aren't sure the receiver can provide, you should be prepared to find out that the gift didn't work out too well. Nobody has a right to be angry or upset in such a situation because they didn't take time (or couldn't be bothered) to THINK out things before they acted, which is of course a huge problem in all areas these days. Good luck, anyway.
	__________________ Alex Reiger :[Trying to convince Louie not to antagonize Bobby] "It's not hard to make people feel bad about their lives. What's hard is making people feel good about their lives."

09-29-2011, 08:30 PM	#6
Brad Russ Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Feb 17, 2002 Location: Portland, Oregon Posts: 10,085	I'd probably keep it for awhile incase they ever came over so they would think I like it, but after about a year, when they've forgotten about it, I will usually give it away, or throw it away. I kind of do the same thing with food. If someone serves me something that tastes terrible, I will say it's good, and would try my best to choke it down without making too many funny faces. lol I just hate hurting people's feelings.
	__________________ St. John 15:13 - Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." Currently my favorite song.

09-29-2011, 06:02 PM	#2
OH Nuts! Member Forum King Join Date: Feb 15, 2005 Posts: 133,383	Well if I know they are going to be over and ask about it, I begin thinking of a good reason to explain why it won't be there when they come. When I know the person will never know what happened to it, I ususally donate it someplace or give it away to someone (but not as a re-gift). I agree with you, plants ARE NOT a good gift unless you know the person has a green thumb. And besides, many plants are toxic for pets. I agree with you on the flowers, they are nice and pretty and nobody expects them to last long.

09-29-2011, 06:12 PM	#3
Dork Member Forum Regular Join Date: Aug 30, 2010 Posts: 591	Just tell her the plants died