Ever attracted to someone who's not very attractive, or just a plain Jane - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Brad Russ · 06-26-2011, 09:43 PM

Probably half of the women Iv'e been most attracted to in my life, were plain Jane's, and what some people would call ugly. My therapist is old, has a big nose, not much of a body, but I'm incredibly attracted to her. Her personality is so sweet. She's getting a new job, so I may see her one more time. I hope so anyway. I made her cry the last time I saw her. Told her I'd miss her, I love her, and that she had done more for me in 6 months then the 5 therapists I had previously had done put together. I'm going to miss her.

I'll see if I can get her email address.

MickeyMac · 06-27-2011, 12:17 PM

I wouldnt if I were you. She is your therapist and she has to be a professional and keep it that way. You just might be setting yourself up to get hurt.

Janice · 06-27-2011, 03:36 PM

I've never been huge on looks. I actually like men that have a little weight on them. I'm all about personality and a great sense of humor. I fell in love with my husband the first day I met him. He was just so funny.

You're treading a fine line there, Brad. I'm sure your therapist adores you as a person, but her license is on the line, so she'll want to keep it professional. Just as she's your favorite, I'm sure you're her favorite too.

Marvo301 · 06-27-2011, 06:20 PM

I find this question difficult if not impossible to answer because it seems to me if your really truly attracted to someone you won't see them as a "plain Jane" or "unattractive" even if other people do. It's like that old saying "Love is blind". When you're in love with someone you just don't notice the things about that person that others perceive as being negative. You only see the qualities that attracted you to that person in the first place!

associate · 06-27-2011, 06:40 PM

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Nough said.

Retro4Life · 06-27-2011, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by associate

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Nough said.

Brad Russ · 06-27-2011, 10:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marvo301

I find this question difficult if not impossible to answer because it seems to me if your really truly attracted to someone you won't see them as a "plain Jane" or "unattractive" even if other people do. It's like that old saying "Love is blind". When you're in love with someone you just don't notice the things about that person that others perceive as being negative. You only see the qualities that attracted you to that person in the first place!

When I say plain jane, and unattractive, I'm not talking about my feelings, I'm talking about what the majority of people in this world view as unattractive. I thought I was clear on that, but I guess not. That's why I say the supposedly unattractive, and plain Jane's. They're not unattractive to me at all, their absolutely gorgeous to me. But you know what, most people do judge people based on the way they look. that's the sad reality.

Family Ties Forever! · 06-28-2011, 01:05 AM

Once and how I thought that person was ever attractive is beyond me. At the time I thought he was. I must have been out of my mind.

I have had the opposite happen to me where people have thought I was so ugly that I was actually barked at one day in college. It was so stupid. A guy started barking at me. His friends joined in by laughing. When I asked what was so funny I was told, "you're so ugly you deserve to be barked at."

Crimson and Clover · 06-28-2011, 01:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hollywood Rock Chic

The older I become, the more I am attracted to someone, for their personality and their sense of humor, rather on how they look. Nowadays I tend to become involved with men, whom have depth, rather on how they look on the outside. Just because you are physically attractive (on the surface) does not mean that you are attractive! I have met a lot of "so called" good-looking men, that had zero personality, and found them totally unappealing!

Sooo true!

The person that I have a big crush on now I fell for their personality before I ever even really knew what they looked like (someone I met online and still have not met in person.) Although he is very cute.

Schmoopie · 06-28-2011, 06:46 AM

Even if I don't find a person particularly handsome when I first meet them, it seems that the more you get to know a person the more handsome they become. I think it's their inner 'handsomeness" coming out. My husband certainly doesn't look like a movie star (and you'll hear no complaints from me about that!) but he's gorgeous to me! To judge someone by their looks is just ridiculous.

old grouch · 06-28-2011, 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Family Ties Forever!

Once and how I thought that person was ever attractive is beyond me. At the time I thought he was. I must have been out of my mind.

I have had the opposite happen to me where people have thought I was so ugly that I was actually barked at one day in college. It was so stupid. A guy started barking at me. His friends joined in by laughing. When I asked what was so funny I was told, "you're so ugly you deserve to be barked at."

That's just awful.

The whole 'sticks and stones' saying is such a lie. Names can hurt sometimes.

Mr. Television · 06-28-2011, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Family Ties Forever!

Once and how I thought that person was ever attractive is beyond me. At the time I thought he was. I must have been out of my mind.

I have had the opposite happen to me where people have thought I was so ugly that I was actually barked at one day in college. It was so stupid. A guy started barking at me. His friends joined in by laughing. When I asked what was so funny I was told, "you're so ugly you deserve to be barked at."

That is just awful Jenny. Some people deserve to be taken out and shot.

I knew a girl when I was in elementary school and some of the kids would bark at her. I knew a guy when I was in Junior High that was made fun of because of his looks. He even had food thrown at him. It's just a cruel world sometimes. No parental guidence I think.

hno:

Mr. Television · 06-28-2011, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by old grouch

That's just awful.

The whole 'sticks and stones' saying is such a lie. Names can hurt sometimes.

Oh they can hurt. And the hurt can last alot longer than a few broken bones.

catlover79 · 06-28-2011, 10:54 AM

Amen to that. I was called my fair share of names growing up and they still haunt me sometimes.

About the therapist and the crush - it just sends up red flags to me. When I was a junior in high school, my church had just hired a new DCE (Director of Christian Education) from St. Louis to head up our youth group. From the moment I first laid eyes on David (who was 28 at the time, I was nearly 17), I had a HUUUUUUUUUUUGE crush on him. Not only that, but when I first met him at our church's VBS in July 1996, he was only a couple of weeks away from getting married. He returned to the church a month later with his new wife in tow, but as the weeks and months went by, my feelings became more and more obvious. I thought I was doing a good job keeping them hidden, but later on I learned I wasn't fooling anybody. Anyway, it caused a permanent rift - the couple accepted a position at a church in Indianapolis before settling in Texas somewhere.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that he was forbidden fruit, just as your therapist is. Even though I never acted on my feelings in a physical way and the feelings were in no way mutual - what if they had been? David was not only married, he was employed by the church. I was still a minor at that time. There could have been major repercussions from both the church and the law - not to mention permanent stains on our respective reputations. Still, I was heartbroken when he left our church and moved away. It took me a long, long time to realize that it was the best thing for everyone involved.

Just be careful, Brad...you've been going through a horrible time already and you don't need more heartache. The Bible says flee temptation...if things get out of hand, maybe you should switch therapists. Just a thought...

Retro4Life · 06-28-2011, 03:52 PM

No offense to the original poster, but I think what he means is really "have you ever been attracted to someone who's not "conventionally" attractive?" Because as Marv said, if you are attracted to someone YOU obviously find something attractive about them.

And sure, I'd be surprised if there's anyone out there who's never found someone attractive that the rest of society didn't, for the most part. Love is such an individual reaction, and just because American commercials tell us that we are supposed to love (or more accurately, lust after), blonds with stick figures or preening, tanned musclemen does not mean that is how life or biology works.

Ideally you are attracted to the whole person. Anything else is just lust and should probably be avoided, that is, unless you want to bear children with and be committed to someone who you really only care about for their body, which is obviously a dead end road.

To Jenny: yes, that is a horrible thing to have happen to you. My first reaction is to hope that someone somewhere has laid a serious beat down on them all but honestly, people like that are probably being punished enough just by having to live out their miserable lives so full of hate and negativity and insecurity.

06-26-2011, 09:43 PM	#1
Brad Russ Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Feb 17, 2002 Location: Portland, Oregon Posts: 10,085	Ever attracted to someone who's not very attractive, or just a plain Jane Probably half of the women Iv'e been most attracted to in my life, were plain Jane's, and what some people would call ugly. My therapist is old, has a big nose, not much of a body, but I'm incredibly attracted to her. Her personality is so sweet. She's getting a new job, so I may see her one more time. I hope so anyway. I made her cry the last time I saw her. Told her I'd miss her, I love her, and that she had done more for me in 6 months then the 5 therapists I had previously had done put together. I'm going to miss her. I'll see if I can get her email address.

06-27-2011, 06:20 PM	#4
Marvo301 I'm NOT a Blockhead! Forum Celebrity Join Date: May 17, 2002 Location: The Great White North Posts: 21,452	I find this question difficult if not impossible to answer because it seems to me if your really truly attracted to someone you won't see them as a "plain Jane" or "unattractive" even if other people do. It's like that old saying "Love is blind". When you're in love with someone you just don't notice the things about that person that others perceive as being negative. You only see the qualities that attracted you to that person in the first place!
	__________________ Only a life lived for others is worth living. Albert Einstein A life isn't worth living unless it has impact on other lives. Jackie Robinson Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. Benjamin Franklin

06-28-2011, 01:05 AM	#8
Family Ties Forever! Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Apr 16, 2002 Location: Keaton residence Posts: 10,214	Once and how I thought that person was ever attractive is beyond me. At the time I thought he was. I must have been out of my mind. I have had the opposite happen to me where people have thought I was so ugly that I was actually barked at one day in college. It was so stupid. A guy started barking at me. His friends joined in by laughing. When I asked what was so funny I was told, "you're so ugly you deserve to be barked at."
	__________________ Jenny

06-28-2011, 06:46 AM	#10
Schmoopie Keep Calm and Love Snoopy Forum Star Join Date: Jul 13, 2008 Location: Lynnwood, Washington Posts: 15,697	Even if I don't find a person particularly handsome when I first meet them, it seems that the more you get to know a person the more handsome they become. I think it's their inner 'handsomeness" coming out. My husband certainly doesn't look like a movie star (and you'll hear no complaints from me about that!) but he's gorgeous to me! To judge someone by their looks is just ridiculous.
	__________________ In memory of my wonderful husband. I love and miss you more than words can say, but I will always and forever keep you in my heart. September 23, 1961-January 14, 2019

06-28-2011, 10:54 AM	#14
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,376	Amen to that. I was called my fair share of names growing up and they still haunt me sometimes. About the therapist and the crush - it just sends up red flags to me. When I was a junior in high school, my church had just hired a new DCE (Director of Christian Education) from St. Louis to head up our youth group. From the moment I first laid eyes on David (who was 28 at the time, I was nearly 17), I had a HUUUUUUUUUUUGE crush on him. Not only that, but when I first met him at our church's VBS in July 1996, he was only a couple of weeks away from getting married. He returned to the church a month later with his new wife in tow, but as the weeks and months went by, my feelings became more and more obvious. I thought I was doing a good job keeping them hidden, but later on I learned I wasn't fooling anybody. Anyway, it caused a permanent rift - the couple accepted a position at a church in Indianapolis before settling in Texas somewhere. I guess what I'm trying to say is that he was forbidden fruit, just as your therapist is. Even though I never acted on my feelings in a physical way and the feelings were in no way mutual - what if they had been? David was not only married, he was employed by the church. I was still a minor at that time. There could have been major repercussions from both the church and the law - not to mention permanent stains on our respective reputations. Still, I was heartbroken when he left our church and moved away. It took me a long, long time to realize that it was the best thing for everyone involved. Just be careful, Brad...you've been going through a horrible time already and you don't need more heartache. The Bible says flee temptation...if things get out of hand, maybe you should switch therapists. Just a thought...
	__________________ "Jesus loves you and He approves this message." "I'm alive. I'm feeling good. I'm trying to live every moment as much as I can." - Valerie Harper, March 2013

06-27-2011, 12:17 PM	#2
MickeyMac Member Forum Star Join Date: Jun 18, 2008 Location: Kalamazoo, Michigan Posts: 19,004	I wouldnt if I were you. She is your therapist and she has to be a professional and keep it that way. You just might be setting yourself up to get hurt.

06-27-2011, 03:36 PM	#3
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	I've never been huge on looks. I actually like men that have a little weight on them. I'm all about personality and a great sense of humor. I fell in love with my husband the first day I met him. He was just so funny. You're treading a fine line there, Brad. I'm sure your therapist adores you as a person, but her license is on the line, so she'll want to keep it professional. Just as she's your favorite, I'm sure you're her favorite too.

06-27-2011, 06:40 PM	#5
associate Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Oct 03, 2004 Posts: 73	Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Nough said.

06-28-2011, 03:52 PM	#15
Retro4Life Accept No Substitutes Forum Veteran Join Date: Feb 04, 2009 Location: IL Posts: 6,708	No offense to the original poster, but I think what he means is really "have you ever been attracted to someone who's not "conventionally" attractive?" Because as Marv said, if you are attracted to someone YOU obviously find something attractive about them. And sure, I'd be surprised if there's anyone out there who's never found someone attractive that the rest of society didn't, for the most part. Love is such an individual reaction, and just because American commercials tell us that we are supposed to love (or more accurately, lust after), blonds with stick figures or preening, tanned musclemen does not mean that is how life or biology works. Ideally you are attracted to the whole person. Anything else is just lust and should probably be avoided, that is, unless you want to bear children with and be committed to someone who you really only care about for their body, which is obviously a dead end road. To Jenny: yes, that is a horrible thing to have happen to you. My first reaction is to hope that someone somewhere has laid a serious beat down on them all but honestly, people like that are probably being punished enough just by having to live out their miserable lives so full of hate and negativity and insecurity.