My parents are separating - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Liza · 06-20-2011, 07:17 PM

They've been married since 1979 and have three children (I'm the oldest). My mother has been an alcoholic since 2006, and she has just gotten worse and worse. It's come to a point where I told my dad he should leave her, as she's destroying his life. On Father's Day, he told her to get out of his house. She's gone to stay with her mom (whom she hates, but no one else will take her in).

Everyone who knows her is just so sick of her behavior. I won't take her in, and neither will my sister. Even her best friend is worn out with her. She's been in and out of rehab three times, and it never works.

I do feel sad, but I'm also torn because I know my dad did the right thing. He's consumed with guilt, but he couldn't live with her any longer. Maybe her husband kicking her out of the house will be the wake up call she needed. I doubt it, but I hope so.

Anyways, prayers are appreciated. I would love to have my mother back, but I'm afraid she may be gone for good.

AKA · 06-20-2011, 07:34 PM

Praying for your whole family.

Retro4Life · 06-20-2011, 07:35 PM

Liza,

I'm so sorry for you. I understand all too well the toll having a close relative who is an alcoholic can take (my only brother was for over thirty years, and pretty much died of it, unfortunately).

My mom and I went to Al Anon a few times. It wasn't perfect and it certainly didn't "solve" anything, but there were a few things I took away from it that were personally empowering and comforting. It might be something to check out.

Ultimately, whatever happens, know that you cannot change your mom. Only your mom can do that. And you can still love her while you hate her actions. I KNOW it's a very tough line to tread; I'm not sure I ever mastered it myself, really. But again, something to think about.

Good luck and God Bless,

Marvo301 · 06-20-2011, 07:37 PM

I'm so sorry that your parents situation has come to this but I agree that your Dad did the right thing and I hope and pray that this will be a wake up call for your Mom and she will seek treatment for her disease. (Alcoholism is a disease) You and your family are in my prayers.

sunshinefizzy · 06-20-2011, 08:19 PM

I know that kind of pain of watching your parents split. It sucks. The one thing that I want you to remember that every negative emotion you feel, let yourself feel it. You're going to be healing and that can be hard but I know you'll be okay and everything will fall into place.

Lee · 06-20-2011, 08:30 PM

I will be praying for you, your Father and your Mother

catlover79 · 06-20-2011, 08:48 PM

Emily, I am so, so sorry. You and your family will be in my prayers.

Miss Lisa · 06-20-2011, 10:30 PM

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. Most of the people on my mom's side of the family are alcoholics. My uncle died from it a couple years ago. You and your family are in my prayers.

Brad Russ · 06-20-2011, 11:23 PM

I'm so sorry Liza. I just said a prayer for her, and will continue to pray for her. Hang in there.

Brian Damage · 06-20-2011, 11:29 PM

My thoughts and prayers are with you Liza

Janice · 06-20-2011, 11:56 PM

Emily, I'm so sorry to hear about this. An alcoholic's "bottom" can be many things, i.e. the loss of their family, a job, their health, ending up in jail; and sadly for some, the graveyard. Let's pray that this will scare your Mom into sobriety. I'm living proof that can happen. Just know that we're all here for you.

Lee · 06-21-2011, 12:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janice

Emily, I'm so sorry to hear about this. An alcoholic's "bottom" can be many things, i.e. the loss of their family, a job, their health, ending up in jail; and sadly for some, the graveyard. Let's pray that this will scare your Mom into sobriety. I'm living proof that can happen. Just know that we're all here for you.

Are you a recovering alcoholic, Janice?

Janice · 06-21-2011, 01:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lee

Are you a recovering alcoholic, Janice?

I wouldn't go that far, Lee. Substance abuse runs in my family on both sides. I lost two sisters to drugs and alcohol. In my 20s, I used to party hearty. Lou and I were dating, and I never knew when to call it a night. His ex-wife was an alcoholic, and that was the reason for their divorce. He just told me that he'd never marry me if I continued on the path I was on. So, I toned it down. I'd have a little wine or a drink here and there, but I stopped wearing lampshades on my head.

Family Ties Forever! · 06-21-2011, 02:03 AM

I'm sorry to hear that.

Liza · 06-22-2011, 09:23 PM

Thank you all so much for your support and well wishes. I heard from my dad today and he and my brother seem to be doing really, really well. My dad told me it was so nice to come home and not have to deal with someone passed out on the couch.

On the flipside, I called my grandmother, and my mother apparently already got drunk at her house and asked my dad what to do. He told her to cover her with a blanket and let her sleep it off. Sad, but not surprising.

06-20-2011, 07:17 PM	#1
Liza BestYearsofOurLives Forum Veteran Join Date: Apr 24, 2001 Location: Rochester, NY Posts: 6,537	My parents are separating They've been married since 1979 and have three children (I'm the oldest). My mother has been an alcoholic since 2006, and she has just gotten worse and worse. It's come to a point where I told my dad he should leave her, as she's destroying his life. On Father's Day, he told her to get out of his house. She's gone to stay with her mom (whom she hates, but no one else will take her in). Everyone who knows her is just so sick of her behavior. I won't take her in, and neither will my sister. Even her best friend is worn out with her. She's been in and out of rehab three times, and it never works. I do feel sad, but I'm also torn because I know my dad did the right thing. He's consumed with guilt, but he couldn't live with her any longer. Maybe her husband kicking her out of the house will be the wake up call she needed. I doubt it, but I hope so. Anyways, prayers are appreciated. I would love to have my mother back, but I'm afraid she may be gone for good.

06-20-2011, 07:35 PM	#3
Retro4Life Accept No Substitutes Forum Veteran Join Date: Feb 04, 2009 Location: IL Posts: 6,708	Liza, I'm so sorry for you. I understand all too well the toll having a close relative who is an alcoholic can take (my only brother was for over thirty years, and pretty much died of it, unfortunately). My mom and I went to Al Anon a few times. It wasn't perfect and it certainly didn't "solve" anything, but there were a few things I took away from it that were personally empowering and comforting. It might be something to check out. Ultimately, whatever happens, know that you cannot change your mom. Only your mom can do that. And you can still love her while you hate her actions. I KNOW it's a very tough line to tread; I'm not sure I ever mastered it myself, really. But again, something to think about. Good luck and God Bless,
	__________________ Alex Reiger :[Trying to convince Louie not to antagonize Bobby] "It's not hard to make people feel bad about their lives. What's hard is making people feel good about their lives."

06-20-2011, 07:37 PM	#4
Marvo301 I'm NOT a Blockhead! Forum Celebrity Join Date: May 17, 2002 Location: The Great White North Posts: 21,460	I'm so sorry that your parents situation has come to this but I agree that your Dad did the right thing and I hope and pray that this will be a wake up call for your Mom and she will seek treatment for her disease. (Alcoholism is a disease) You and your family are in my prayers.
	__________________ Only a life lived for others is worth living. Albert Einstein A life isn't worth living unless it has impact on other lives. Jackie Robinson Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. Benjamin Franklin

06-20-2011, 08:48 PM	#7
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,392	Emily, I am so, so sorry. You and your family will be in my prayers.
	__________________ "Jesus loves you and He approves this message." "I'm alive. I'm feeling good. I'm trying to live every moment as much as I can." - Valerie Harper, March 2013

06-20-2011, 10:30 PM	#8
Miss Lisa Member Senior Member Join Date: Jan 08, 2005 Location: My very own Green Acres Posts: 1,113	I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. Most of the people on my mom's side of the family are alcoholics. My uncle died from it a couple years ago. You and your family are in my prayers.
	__________________ TEAM COCO ~♥~"No matter how big or soft or warm your bed is, you still have to get out of it."~♥~ - Grace Slick http://deviantrose112.posterous.com/

06-20-2011, 07:34 PM	#2
AKA Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 17, 2001 Posts: 15,746	Praying for your whole family.

06-20-2011, 08:19 PM	#5
sunshinefizzy Member Senior Member Join Date: Sep 27, 2006 Location: Craptown Posts: 2,054	I know that kind of pain of watching your parents split. It sucks. The one thing that I want you to remember that every negative emotion you feel, let yourself feel it. You're going to be healing and that can be hard but I know you'll be okay and everything will fall into place.

06-20-2011, 08:30 PM	#6
Lee veteran member Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: May 23, 2001 Location: Pulaski, Tennessee Posts: 4,768	I will be praying for you, your Father and your Mother

06-20-2011, 11:23 PM	#9
Brad Russ Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Feb 17, 2002 Location: Portland, Oregon Posts: 10,085	I'm so sorry Liza. I just said a prayer for her, and will continue to pray for her. Hang in there.

06-20-2011, 11:29 PM	#10
Brian Damage I'm Rich Bitch Forum Icon Join Date: Feb 03, 2002 Location: What Ain't No Country I Ever Heard Of...They Speak English in What? Posts: 63,107	My thoughts and prayers are with you Liza
	__________________ The Key to the Kingdom of Heaven: John 3:3 *Money Doesn't Buy Happiness...But I'd Rather Cry in My Private Jet*

06-20-2011, 11:56 PM	#11
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	Emily, I'm so sorry to hear about this. An alcoholic's "bottom" can be many things, i.e. the loss of their family, a job, their health, ending up in jail; and sadly for some, the graveyard. Let's pray that this will scare your Mom into sobriety. I'm living proof that can happen. Just know that we're all here for you.

06-21-2011, 02:03 AM	#14
Family Ties Forever! Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Apr 16, 2002 Location: Keaton residence Posts: 10,214	I'm sorry to hear that.
	__________________ Jenny

06-22-2011, 09:23 PM	#15
Liza BestYearsofOurLives Forum Veteran Join Date: Apr 24, 2001 Location: Rochester, NY Posts: 6,537	Thank you all so much for your support and well wishes. I heard from my dad today and he and my brother seem to be doing really, really well. My dad told me it was so nice to come home and not have to deal with someone passed out on the couch. On the flipside, I called my grandmother, and my mother apparently already got drunk at her house and asked my dad what to do. He told her to cover her with a blanket and let her sleep it off. Sad, but not surprising.