Stepping Into the Time Machine With Lisa!! (Part 4)

[ABlairican Pie]

--the heavenly bodies in everyone's favorite constellation--the STARS of the Facts of Life--and one by one they came out--Kim Fields!! YEAY!!! Mindy Cohn!! YEAY!!!! Nancy McKeon!! YEAY!!!!!! and--LISA WHELCHEL!!!!! YEEEEAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!! THE TIME/SPACE CONTINUUM BEGAN TO SHIFT AND BUCKLE, ALL EMPIRICAL PHYSICAL PHENOMENA BEGAN TO MELT LIKE MOVIE POPCORN BUTTERWAX BEFORE MY EYES AS THE QUEEN OF HEAVEN ENTERED FROM HER CELESTIAL DIMENSION AND BEAMED BEFORE HER ADORING SUBJECTS!!
In other words, I could hardly comprehend the fact of the PRESENCE OF THIS PERSON as the room became abuzz with the energy of her entrance!!
THERE SHE IS!!!!
Oh yeah, they had some actress named Cloris Leachman, too.
The one thing I do remember while they stood there facing the audience while they played the canned theme song was, Lisa seemed a bit ill at ease, smiling but nervous, as if she felt unprepared for the show. MAYBE SHE WAS JUST AWESTRUCK AT HOW MANY OF HER LOYAL SUBJECTS WERE IN ATTENDANCE!!
It's funny when you watch the show, you expect to see a literal interior of a two-story house, and while it was odd to see adjoining rooms spread out across a single stage, you still swallow your disbelief and accept it as "the girls' house." As I mentioned before, this was the dress rehearsal of the "Natalie goes undercover in the ROTC" episode ("Before the Fall") and she was very funny. On the far side of the stage was a set made up like an exercise room, and I wondered, gee, where did they get so many extras? (uncredited actors used for crowd scenes or bystanders or passersby) It was very
funny when Natalie was in roll call and the big mean sargeant came out and barks out "Green!" And she replies, "here!" He marches up to her and says, "Here WHAT?" And she answers, "Uh--here I am?" That
got an uproarious response.
And then, halfway through the rehearsal, Lisa SITS DOWN just a few feet away from me, and the INNER COSMIC VORTEX OPENS UP AND DRAWS MY LIFE-FORCE IN!! (In other words, I almost could not keep from having a major spazz at her her GLORIOUS, RADIANT PRESENCE!!) She sat next to
John Astin, Mackenzie Astin's dad (Gomez Addams on the the Addams Family t.v. show). And I'm like, man, I am SO loving this. It was like these waves just glowing off of her and warming my soul... You know like when you stand by a barbecue and the heat just ripples everything in the distance? That same sort of feeling.
So we were waiting to see if Natalie would get to jump out of a plane in a parachute--WHERE WAS THE SET FOR THAT??--But we wouldn't get to see that because dress rehearsal was almost over (and they hadn't even finished the whole episode!) They would do the actualtaping that evening, but the narrator/announcer guy said, "Don't
worry--Natalie jumps!" I wanted to see that, but didn't until the show aired (sort of disappointing, really, on the show we see a shot of the plane, but no Natalie barrelling out!!) So just as everyone else left, I gave my cat-card to two stagehands cleaning up and asked if they could give it to Lisa. Sure, no problem, they said. I was so relieved! Lisa would now know who I was! So I left the studio in TOTAL BLISS and went to celebrate my victory at the Burger King on Highland Ave.
My first impressions of Hollywood were wild. This is such a happening place! You felt as if you were close to the action, the stars, everything--even just by being at the gift shops and all the other places. Movie-town bric-a-brac! A town that never sleeps! I loved it! The Hollywood Walk of Fame--where entertainers of stage, screen and song were immortalized in pavement! When would Lisa get HERS?? (I know you're all waiting for Nancy and Kimmie to get theirs!!)
The next day, after trying unsuccessfully to get a yardwork job for a day to get a little extra bucks, it was time to go back to Eastern
Washington to where the jobs were plentiful. Before I left, I made a
small purchase at the Church on the Way bookstore: Stormie Omartian's book "Greater Health--God's Way", a fitness and diet book that I bought primarily because it had Lisa's name on a sticker on the cover promoting an aerobics video--see, ANYTHING with Lisa's name on it, I'll buy--even if it were a 20-lb bag of kitty litter! "Lisa's Kitty Litter!!" Little did I know that God would use this book in a great way later on.
So I went up a different way than which I came--not the best way--through Bakersfield, Stockton, Fresno--and Central California was high and dry for hitching rides! I got very impatient! But soon I got back on track and met the head of a local pizza franchise in Redding--and got treated to pizza! Soon I was back over the border in Ashland,
OR, made it to Medford and Grant's Pass where I waited ALL DAY Sunday for a ride...until later that evening, two guys towing a car invited me to sit in the car they towed, and I was soon zooming through the miles to Portland! And the next few days I made it back past Mt. Rainier and then back to Yakima, where I resumed my work in the orchards. So a decent start to the week, when that Saturday, I paid a
visit to a Christian bookstore, where, upon opening the door, I saw something that made my jaw drop in total disbelief...This couldn't be true...COULD IT?

[StrudelBone]

I have the aerobics video Lisa was on.

[ABlairican Pie]

My gosh, I saw that several years ago, and I just about EXPLODED when she winked!!!! She was too darn good looking in that one, she had that special something in that gesture!!

[MrsGarrettRocksMySocks]

WHOA....you should post more...ASAP!~GASP~ WHAT COULDN'T BE TRUE?!

[Kay Scarpetta]

My Jesus I am SO fricken screwed

[Eva]

I want to know when she is coming to Wash DC area so I can see her! Her website doesn't mention anything about visiting there. But I seem to remember that on one of her last chats that she said WDC was the one place she was most looking forward to visiting. So she must be coming. But when????????