Is It Just Me, Or Is This Wrong? - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Family Ties Forever! · 05-28-2011, 04:31 PM

Is it just me or is this wrong?

I'm not sure, but I think a friend of mine Chrissy is taking advantage of my generosity. Her computer hasn't been working for awhile. I've let her come over a few times and helped her look stuff up. Last night she called me on the phone. She asked me to pull up the Party City website. It took nearly an hour and half for her decide all the different things she needs for her son Ky'eon's upcoming third birthday. After everything was in the basket on the website and it gave the cost total, Chrissy told me that it was too much and that she would just go to the store and get the stuff. I feel like that was a waste of nearly an hour and half for nothing. I don't mind helping, but it bothered me.

Waterston_Fan · 05-28-2011, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Family Ties Forever!

Is it just me or is this wrong?

I'm not sure, but I think a friend of mine Chrissy is taking advantage of my generosity. Her computer hasn't been working for awhile. I've let her come over a few times and helped her look stuff up. Last night she called me on the phone. She asked me to pull up the Party City website. It took nearly an hour and half for her decide all the different things she needs for her son Ky'eon's upcoming third birthday. After everything was in the basket on the website and it gave the cost total, Chrissy told me that it was too much and that she would just go to the store and get the stuff. I feel like that was a waste of nearly an hour and half for nothing. I don't mind helping, but it bothered me.

Well, she needs to get that computer fixed for sure. But I think being on the phone for an hour and a half is too much. She either should have asked you if she could come over to look on the website or just go to the store herself...

Janice · 05-28-2011, 04:57 PM

I don't think there's anything wrong with helping a friend out like that. It's lousy she changed her mind, but those things happen. I wouldn't let it happen twice though, so I would tell Chrissy that she's welcome to use your computer to shop, but that you're not going to do it for her. That goes for shopping, research, anything. Things are extra difficult for you with your poor vision, and she knows this. Time to put down some boundaries. It will be good for your friendship.

dlemond · 05-28-2011, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janice

I don't think there's anything wrong with helping a friend out like that. It's lousy she changed her mind, but those things happen. I wouldn't let it happen twice though, so I would tell Chrissy that she's welcome to use your computer to shop, but that you're not going to do it for her. That goes for shopping, research, anything. Things are extra difficult for you with your poor vision, and she knows this. Time to put down some boundaries. It will be good for your friendship.

I agree. She is a friend, so you let it go this one time.
You set the boundaries next time.

Funny thing is, with guys I think this is different.
We would definitely have a few choice words for our friends if they pulled a move like this.

We would give each other crap and say WTF? but it wouldn't really mean anything.

Retro4Life · 05-28-2011, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janice

I don't think there's anything wrong with helping a friend out like that. It's lousy she changed her mind, but those things happen. I wouldn't let it happen twice though, so I would tell Chrissy that she's welcome to use your computer to shop, but that you're not going to do it for her. That goes for shopping, research, anything. Things are extra difficult for you with your poor vision, and she knows this. Time to put down some boundaries. It will be good for your friendship.

Family Ties Forever! · 06-01-2011, 12:23 AM

Chrissy called me and told me that I will help her tomorrow night after 9pm order a few more things for her on Amazon. It was a little odd being told instead of asked. She also mentioned Netflix. She asked me how she can set up Netflix and order movies without a computer. I mentioned to her that there's a 1-800 number and they might be able to help her.

Retro4Life · 06-01-2011, 12:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Family Ties Forever!

Chrissy called me and told me that I will help her tomorrow night after 9pm order a few more things for her on Amazon. It was a little odd being told instead of asked. She also mentioned Netflix. She asked me how she can set up Netflix and order movies without a computer. I mentioned to her that there's a 1-800 number and they might be able to help her.

That's a good start. As soon as she realizes that you've set boundaries, the sooner she'll stop thinking she can just use you. I'm not saying you shouldn't be her friend or that she's a bad person, but some people just kind of walk over people without ever realizing they are doing it. Now she understands that you're not a way around just getting her computer fixed or getting a new one.

Family Ties Forever! · 06-01-2011, 12:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Retro4Life

That's a good start. As soon as she realizes that you've set boundaries, the sooner she'll stop thinking she can just use you. I'm not saying you shouldn't be her friend or that she's a bad person, but some people just kind of walk over people without ever realizing they are doing it. Now she understands that you're not a way around just getting her computer fixed or getting a new one.

I don't mind helping, but you are right. Some people walk all over others. I will help her to an extent. I don't like having people upset with me. I think she knows that I go out of my way to try and help so she takes that, imo, for granted.

Waterston_Fan · 06-01-2011, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Retro4Life

That's a good start. As soon as she realizes that you've set boundaries, the sooner she'll stop thinking she can just use you. I'm not saying you shouldn't be her friend or that she's a bad person, but some people just kind of walk over people without ever realizing they are doing it. Now she understands that you're not a way around just getting her computer fixed or getting a new one.

I hope she does get her computer fixed. It seems too long that she has been without one.

OH Nuts! · 06-01-2011, 02:15 PM

Jenny, is there a public library in your area? Most have computers and library members can reserve time for free. If she needs to go on your computer it should be for no more than 20 minutes at a time, once a day only - after 3 times, its too much and she should either rent time from a store or get a library card and use the library's.

You are not wrong - you are not her maidservant and she needs to stop taking advantage (in my opinion she is.)

05-28-2011, 04:31 PM	#1
Family Ties Forever! Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Apr 16, 2002 Location: Keaton residence Posts: 10,214	Is It Just Me, Or Is This Wrong? Is it just me or is this wrong? I'm not sure, but I think a friend of mine Chrissy is taking advantage of my generosity. Her computer hasn't been working for awhile. I've let her come over a few times and helped her look stuff up. Last night she called me on the phone. She asked me to pull up the Party City website. It took nearly an hour and half for her decide all the different things she needs for her son Ky'eon's upcoming third birthday. After everything was in the basket on the website and it gave the cost total, Chrissy told me that it was too much and that she would just go to the store and get the stuff. I feel like that was a waste of nearly an hour and half for nothing. I don't mind helping, but it bothered me.

05-28-2011, 04:57 PM	#3
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	I don't think there's anything wrong with helping a friend out like that. It's lousy she changed her mind, but those things happen. I wouldn't let it happen twice though, so I would tell Chrissy that she's welcome to use your computer to shop, but that you're not going to do it for her. That goes for shopping, research, anything. Things are extra difficult for you with your poor vision, and she knows this. Time to put down some boundaries. It will be good for your friendship.

06-01-2011, 12:23 AM	#6
Family Ties Forever! Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Apr 16, 2002 Location: Keaton residence Posts: 10,214	Chrissy called me and told me that I will help her tomorrow night after 9pm order a few more things for her on Amazon. It was a little odd being told instead of asked. She also mentioned Netflix. She asked me how she can set up Netflix and order movies without a computer. I mentioned to her that there's a 1-800 number and they might be able to help her.

06-01-2011, 02:15 PM	#10
OH Nuts! Member Forum King Join Date: Feb 15, 2005 Posts: 133,383	Jenny, is there a public library in your area? Most have computers and library members can reserve time for free. If she needs to go on your computer it should be for no more than 20 minutes at a time, once a day only - after 3 times, its too much and she should either rent time from a store or get a library card and use the library's. You are not wrong - you are not her maidservant and she needs to stop taking advantage (in my opinion she is.)