Ray as a father

[Hughsgirl]

Last night I was watching the episiode where Ray picks a fight with Robert because he suddenly starts feeling left out or whatever when he sees the kids emulate Robert's way of eating and then decides that HE and not Robert will take the kids to the zoo instead of playing golf. I swear, if I could have reached through the TV and stranggled him I would have! As far as Ray providing for his family, in that respect, yes he's a good father. But, when it comes time to actually do things with the kids and teach them and co-parent with Debra, he fricking sucks! There was no reason for him to act that way with his brother and knowing that he's good with his kids. This episode truly had me hating on Raymond...show or no show, the idea of his "fatherly" instincts (or lack there of) is sad and infuirating.

Does anyone else have an opinion about this or am I just talking to myself as always?

[Tap Dancer]

I love the show, but Ray sucks as a dad. His interests and hobbies were more important that spending time with the kids. My dad was the same way (very selfish!) and I don't have a relationship with him at all as an adult. I always assumed the same would happen later on with Ray and his kids.

[sunshinefizzy]

The way I see it is that he loves his kids but he is definatley a physically and emotionally absent parent a lot of the time. Especially in the later seasons because the kids were never home or they were with Debra.

[Yong Fang]

Ray had very nice parents actually. If nothing else, the brothers were badly spoiled, especially by Marie. Marie cooked, cleaned, kept house and took care of the children. Frank worked a job he hated 40 hours a week, then came home and wanted to watch TV, piddle in his basement, go watch baseball, do his lodge and whatever else fathers of that era did.

That's how things were done in the "old days" before the economy got so wrecked that it required two incomes to live on. The father of the home, by virtue of the one "bringing home the bacon", has the right to relax on the weekend, and the chore of parenting was pretty much a woman's responsibility, unless it was something way serious that involved two parents.

So what we see in Ray is the continuation of his family life to his kids. He is a writer for a newspaper, works 40 hours a week, with a lot of work on the weekends (especially football, but all sports in general are played on the weekends). Deborah the wife elected to stay at home with the children, and a lot of the friction in their relationship is because that when Ray is home he wants to play and have fun, while Deb wants Ray to more "pitch in". Well, Ray does, he works 40 hours a week, doing deadlines, working weekends and holidays and brings a lot of his work home, commuting back and forth from NYC, to Long Island, one of the more expensive places in the United States.

[Hughsgirl]

Originally Posted by Tap Dancer

I love the show, but Ray sucks as a dad. His interests and hobbies were more important that spending time with the kids. My dad was the same way (very selfish!) and I don't have a relationship with him at all as an adult. I always assumed the same would happen later on with Ray and his kids.

I'm in the same boat you are with my "father" and maybe that's why it pisses me off as much as it does, even being just a TV show. The only difference between Ray and and my father was that my father was always "in between jobs" (because of laziness) so I never had that security that a kid with a working father would have. Okay.....now I'm getting too personal. LOL!

[ShamelessFanGirl]

Ray is a very poor father when it comes to involving himself with family. He would rather play golf, or watch sports than take care of his kids. My father was the same way, he may have been a good provider, and he was there but he didn't involve himself with mine and my brother's lives very much. I mean he did help me with my homework with a couple times and taught me how to ride a bike, and bonded with my brother with music and maybe even sports a little. However, he didn't ever learn who we were as individuals and what our interests were. Now years later, I think my dad realizes he made a lot of mistakes and is trying to make-up for it and for the most part I have a pretty good relationship with him but my brother has little to no relationship with him at all. Back on topic though, perhaps the reason that Ray is so terrible at being a dad is becaus he had no one to show him how to be one. We all have to admit though Frank has his moments, he is not the most affectionate dad despite how he loves his sons and if I remember right I don't think he spent a whole lot of time with them as children which was why they have the relationship they do with him now.