Ralph Kramden, a NY Rangers fan (Part 1)

[Frank Gannucci]

(The Washington Capitals beat the NY Rangers 2-1.)

(Ralph & Ed are home and they are slightly upset.)

Ralph: "Boy, I can't believe that the Rangers blew that big lead. That BIG ONE goal lead."

Ed: "Yeah. I so want to see a Rangers Stanley Cup win. It will be a nice change of pace. Not to mention them having a parade right over my place of work."

Ralph: "Did you look at those Capitals? They look like they won the whole thing. Those Rangers will come back and come back big. I guarantee it."

Ed: "I can't wait for Friday so the Rangers can mount a four game comeback."

(Alice comes out.)

Alice: "Boy, you two must be upset about the Rangers lost."

Ralph: "We are. But, on Friday me and Norton are going to watch the Rangers win game 2 at the Raccoon Lodge."

Alice: "Ralph, Friday night is my mother's birthday. We have to go."

Ralph (yells): "WHAT? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT YOU ARE GOING TO DEPRIVE ME OF SEEING HISTORY IN THE MAKING BY MAKING ME SEE YOUR MOTHER."

Alice (yells): "YES, YOU ARE RALPH. I PROMISED MY MOTHER THAT YOU AND ME WILL COME AND HELP HER RING IN HER BIRTHDAY."

Ralph (yells): "I AM WATCHING THE GAME."

Alice (yells): "YOU ARE SEEING MY MOTHER."

Ralph (yells): "I AM WATCHING THE GAME."

Alice (yells): "YOU ARE SEEING MY MOTHER."

Ralph (yells): "I AM WATCHING THE GAME."

Alice (yells): "YOU ARE WATCHING THE GAME."

Ralph (yells): "I AM GOING TO SEE YOUR MOTHER...I AM GOING TO WATCH THE GAME."

Ed: "Ralph, look on the bright side. Bring a radio and listen to it or I can record it for you on my blank DVD."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

Ralph (yells): "I AM TELLING YOU ALICE. I AM NOT GOING TO SEE YOUR MOM."

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. Good night everyone."

(Audience cheers.)