An "unsolved mystery" in my own life

[CuriousMind90]

DELETE

[WishfulDreamer]

Wow, that's pretty interesting. We have an unsolved mystery in my family, too. My grandmother's brother (a half-Sicilian, half-mainland Italian family) randomly vanished in the 1940s in New York. Never to be seen or heard from again. They're pretty sure it's mob related and I would ask her questions if she was still alive and here to tell the tale. We know very little about the whole thing, but from what we've heard he was never in the mob, but could have been a target. Anyone around at that time is more than likely gone. We don't really keep much contact with the Italian side of the family on the East Coast, as they have been estranged from my grandmother for decades for complex family drama reasons. Even her own past is somewhat a mystery that no one can explain. If I was to go looking for answers, I wouldn't know where to start.

Your family sounds a lot like mine. You and I are the same age, yet some of our grandparents have passed away before we were even born so we can't question them about the past (making answers even more difficult to find). This grandmother in question, for me, is the only grandparent I ever met as all of the others passed away before I was born. And she died when I was too young to ask questions or even know these stories. I wonder if any of your grandfather's friends could possibly be alive and around to hear from? It's a tough case. I know this was a long time ago, but I wonder if he left behind a paper trail, such as credit card receipts or bills from wherever he was living. Maybe medical records? These are just guesses, and I know they probably wouldn't be available to inquire about (confidentiality reasons, etc). Do your parents have any guesses?

[CuriousMind90]

[QUOTE=WishfulDreamer]Wow, that's pretty interesting. We have an unsolved mystery in my family, too. My grandmother's brother (a half-Sicilian, half-mainland Italian family) randomly vanished in the 1940s in New York. Never to be seen or heard from again. They're pretty sure it's mob related and I would ask her questions if she was still alive and here to tell the tale. We know very little about the whole thing, but from what we've heard he was never in the mob, but could have been a target. Anyone around at that time is more than likely gone. We don't really keep much contact with the Italian side of the family on the East Coast, as they have been estranged from my grandmother for decades for complex family drama reasons. Even her own past is somewhat a mystery that no one can explain. If I was to go looking for answers, I wouldn't know where to start.

[starmushrooms]

People leave for whatever reason, unfortunately. My Uncle up and left in the 70's and moved to south Florida from Massachusetts. When I started searching for him all I had to go on was the idea he was still there. I found his address 10 years ago, but it was like searching for a needle in a hay stack. I mean he went to elaborate efforts to make absolutely sure his family never found him again. So I kept that address with me all these years, not letting anyone know outside of my father and Grandfather because I didn't want him to move again.

If you looked him up today in Miami you wouldn't find him, unless you searched the Dade County jail records. The only thing he couldn't hide were his tickets and getting arrested in 1989.

I only searched for him because my Grandmother to her dying day swore she would see her son again and kept his picture next to her bed. It still kills me that she never did get to see him again.

When she died I thought he deserved to know, so I called the Sheriff to do a wellbeing check and to tell him he needed to call his father or my father. About a month later he called my Grandfather and hung up after he answered. But, he called back and talked to him for a long while. He was ashamed of what he did and too embarrassed to come back again. He was a heavy drug addict in the 80's, but has been clean for 20 years.

While my Grandmother never had the chance to see him again, my Grandfather still gets a call from him now and then. I guess if anything that is the best I could have asked for.

I'm sure his Unsolved Mystery is wondering who the hell found him, lol.

[Sophie Treadmill]

Wow, starmushrooms, that is an amazing story! It's fascinating to me when people just disappear. How sad that your grandmother was never able to see or talk to her son again. I'm glad that you were able to find your uncle and it sounds like you are one heck of a detective.

[CuriousMind90]

My grandpa's story was:
In 1967 or 1968 he and my grandmother separated after nearly 20 years of marriage when it was discovered he had been having an affair for at least the past three years, if not longer.

He left home that year and wasn't seen again by my mother or his children until a wedding with his girlfriend in 1972, and after that he wasn't seen again for nearly a year, until he had a stroke in 1973. It has been presumed that he was living with his girlfriend (whom he had the affair with) during this period, 1968-1973. He didn't come back actively into my mother's life until he had the stroke. After having the stroke he lived back in my grandmother's house until he died in 1976, so 1973-1976 is accounted for; we know where he was and whatnot.

But 1967/1968-1973 are lost years for him. I'd like to find out where he was at, what he was doing. We have very few photos of him and I would imagine that since he and his girlfriend were together nearly a decade she would have photos, maybe even a home movie. He took a home movie of her with the family camera in 1965.

No one knows his girlfriend's name, or where he was living, or anything of that nature for those 6 years except for my grandmother, and she doesn't like to talk about him.

We have his driver licenses from 1966, 1969, 1972 and 1975, but the 1969 and 1972 driver licenses (from the period when he was gone) have his address down as my grandmother's even though he wasn't living there. A legal document from 1971 (a deed transfer of a property owned by he and his family collectively) doesn't have his address, only the county and state he lived in, whereas for his relatives, their exact addresses are given.

He mentioned his girlfriend to my mother and indicated that she had had a husband was separated and that she had at least one grown daughter, approximately in her 20s in 1973-1975. It is presumed that he and his girlfriend might have met at the 1964 World's Fair as they seemed to have both worked there.

[truthbtold]

This is a great idea for a thread. Why was the first post "DELETED"???

[Gelatinous Goo]

It's going to be a difficult task without the girlfriend's name/vital info. Find somebody with an ancestry.com membership (or get one yourself--they do offer a free trial w/credit card #). The website sometimes has random information such as former addresses and phone numbers. Type in all vital information that you have on your grandfather in the search fields provided. This might help, and it might lead to nowhere, but it's worth a shot. It might also provide you with the girlfriend's name if they ever shared any traceable documentation.

[starmushrooms]

Originally Posted by Sophie Treadmill

Wow, starmushrooms, that is an amazing story! It's fascinating to me when people just disappear. How sad that your grandmother was never able to see or talk to her son again. I'm glad that you were able to find your uncle and it sounds like you are one heck of a detective.

lol, it didn't start that way, but I promised her I would find him. My Grandfather wrote it off and told us both he wasn't coming back, but that was the one thing she never got over.

After he called my Grandfather though we came to find out what the real story was. He was embarrassed more then anything and couldn't face his parents with the problems he had in the 80's.

I was about to write him off as being lost forever until I thought about the police records. I took the address with the record and looked on Whitepages.com, but that's where I saw the address was under another name. I assumed he moved, but threw that guys name in Google to see what came up. Only one document popped up with both names on it and I knew that was the roommate he has been putting everything under all these years. I took a chance after my Grandmother died last year and I finally got what I was looking for.

He didn't move again after they spoke, so that's a good thing, lol.

But doing an hour's worth of work made me think about the people who went on Unsolved Mysteries to locate a loved one. With today's technology it's amazing how easy it can be to find a lost relative with a little effort. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there who go to my Uncle's length and further to make sure no one finds them, which is too bad.

There have been a few cases on the show that were never solved, and I know there are some dedicated people over the years who have tried to help those people find an ending, but sometimes there is just nothing you can do.

[CuriousMind90]

Originally Posted by Gelatinous Goo

It's going to be a difficult task without the girlfriend's name/vital info. Find somebody with an ancestry.com membership (or get one yourself--they do offer a free trial w/credit card #). The website sometimes has random information such as former addresses and phone numbers. Type in all vital information that you have on your grandfather in the search fields provided. This might help, and it might lead to nowhere, but it's worth a shot. It might also provide you with the girlfriend's name if they ever shared any traceable documentation.

I tried all those avenues.

[badcompany]

On the thread about the footlocker case I wrote that I thought it was a remote possibility that the skeleton found in the footlocker could have been a relative of mine (my great great grandfather). My mother and I have both been looking through any and all genealogical records, newspapers, death records, cemetery plots etc. looking for this man who literally fell off the face of the earth leaving behind his infant daughter. Given my experience, I understand how completely frustrating this kind of research is and I wish you luck and feel your pain. And if UM ever begins taking new cases I hope they take both of ours.

On the plus side though, at least your search deals with the second half of the 20th century, mine involves a guy who probably died sometime in the 1930s or 1940s maybe as late as the early '50s.

[MariposaLKB]

Originally Posted by truthbtold

This is a great idea for a thread. Why was the first post "DELETED"???

I was wondering the same thing....fascinating mystery!

[Clockworkhigh]

I have one right in my family. A weird one that's a little dated and still puzzles me to this day but whatever.

In 1939 my aunt was born. In 1943 another aunt was born. My grandfather was old and my grandmother was very, very sick and the doctor somehow, someway persuaded them to give up my aunt for adoption after she was born since my grandmother would have a hard time taking care of her. I don't know, maybe doctors had a lot more power back then but eventually my grandparents relented to the doctor's wishes and gave her up for adoption. In true Hollywood fashion my grandfather literally followed his daughter in the car she was in after she was sent away and had to stop drving because the tears were welling up and blurring his vision.

Then in 1944 my uncle was born. In 1948 my mother was born. Both were "surprises" and my grandparents made a pact not to make the same mistake with these kids and they kept them.

My grandmother died in 1963 when my mom was 15 so she really was a sick woman. My grandfather who I never met died in 1975 but prior to that my uncle persuaded him to indulge some information about this long lost sister. He reluctantly did.

In 1979 after some leg work all 4 siblings were reunited. It turns out my aunt who had been adopted grew up in a great home. I wasn't told about this story until I was 17 years old for some reason or another.

[Orange_Sody_84]

Guess I'll share too. when I was a kid in the late 90's a classmate died under suspicious circumstances. according to neighborhood gossip she was out partying (was maybe 14-15 at the time.) her parents later found her hanging in her closet wit scratch marks all over her body. now... it seems like it was suicide. alright fair enough. but a closet? depending on how big her closet was I'd imagine it would've been difficult to hang yourself in a closet.

Also the scratch marks are a bit suspicious. what caused them? did she change her mind halfway through? or did someone kill her and try to make it look like a suicide? I guess we'll never know.

[Oooga Chucka]

Originally Posted by Orange_Sody_84

Guess I'll share too. when I was a kid in the late 90's a classmate died under suspicious circumstances. according to neighborhood gossip she was out partying (was maybe 14-15 at the time.) her parents later found her hanging in her closet wit scratch marks all over her body. now... it seems like it was suicide. alright fair enough. but a closet? depending on how big her closet was I'd imagine it would've been difficult to hang yourself in a closet.

Also the scratch marks are a bit suspicious. what caused them? did she change her mind halfway through? or did someone kill her and try to make it look like a suicide? I guess we'll never know.

For what it is worth, Megan Meier hung herself in her closet, I believe. She was the teenager who made the news due to her MySpace posting with someone believed to be a 16 year old boy. It turns out that it was a 50 year old female neighbor who was keeping tabs on her.