In Memoriam: What Were Your Favorite "Detective Dietrich" Moments?

[Brian Damage]

What were some of your favorite memories, scenes, quotes from Detective Arthur Dietrich aka Steve Landesberg?

[catlover79]

Loved his debut episode, "Fish", from S2. He and Abe Vigoda pretty much carry this ep, and have a great rapport right from the start. Here's where you can watch the ep:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uULn5bZOjk

My favorite Dietrich quotes (cut and pasted from several other threads on this BM board):

Clown: Who are you calling "clown"?
Dietrich: Well, if the shoe fits...

Dietrich: Swan Lake is one of the best ballets ever written. It's an artistic milestone!
Marty: Have you seen it?
Dietrich: I had hockey tickets.

Dietrich: "Those 'Good news, Bad news' jokes kill me..."
Harris: (warily) "But you're not going to tell me one, are you?"
Dietrich: "No...that's the good news..."

When Dietrich is hooked up to a lie detector:

Test Administrator: "Where were you born?"
Dietrich: "It's hard to say, it was long, long ago... in a galaxy far, far away..."
(The lie detector registers that he's telling the truth!!)

Dietrich is booking a prisoner and typing his info, he asks the man's name and he responds "Klein"... unsure of the spelling, he asks, completely DEADPAN...:
Dietrich: "E - I?"
Man: "E - I."
Dietrich: "Oh!"

From the Season 4 opener "Goodbye Mr. Fish, Part I": everyone is worried that Fish hasn't shown up for his last day of work. Barney suggests that Fish just might be out for a walk:

Dietrich: I knew a guy who when he got depressed would just put on his coat, leave the house, and just start walking.
Barney (to Wojo): See?
Dietrich: Sometimes for hours on end. One time he was gone for almost a whole day.
Barney: Yeah, some people just like to be alone. He came back, didn't he?
Dietrich: Yeah.
Barney (to Wojo): See?
Dietrich: The tide brought him in.

Stripper: In many parts of the world the naked female body is revered.
Dietrich: Yeah. My place.
Stripper: Fiji, Samoa...
Dietrich: My place is closer.

And who could forget: "Howard, go away, Beverly is busy! We've made other plans, and they don't include you!"

Last but not least, his hilarious "frenemy" relationship with Harris:

[AB]

Dietrich warns Fish & Yemana about doughnuts.

[Samme]

I never became a fan of Barney Miller, so I didn't see much of Dietrich, but I was a big fan of Steve Landesberg and his stand-up act. His southern accent was very funny. I liked "I was up there in New York City one time. I was up there for The Bullet Convention..."

Again southern."I heard me a song the other day on the rad-ee-o. Spitting on the flag...spitting on the flag. Disgusting...most disgusting thing I ever heard." (pause) "Catchy though."

And how guys in California tell even bigger lies about women because there are so many stars out there. "She's up for an Academy Award, huh?...I gave her an Academy Award one night...I gave her Oscar..."