I lost my grandmother a year ago tonight. - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

AKA · 12-18-2010, 12:50 AM

It was the autumn of 2000. Grandma, who had been a very active, independent, older woman, was starting to show signs of her age. She was 72 now; eight years into her retirement. Her busy social schedule was still there, but she was starting to... well, resemble an old lady. She was starting to shuffle when she walked and she wasn't as quick on the uptake as we'd known her to be.

After some persuasion from my mom and aunt, Grandma went to the doctor to get checked out.

It was Parkinson's.

When I was given the news, I didn't realize what I was in for. That's what Michael J. Fox has, I thought. She's going to shake a lot. That sucks, but she's going to be just fine.

Unfortunately, she wasn't fine. In Grandma's case, her Parkinson's symptoms were not only physical, but also cognitive. Over the next few years, I had to slowly say goodbye as different aspects of my beloved grandmother began to be shed away forever by this horrible disease.

First it was her wit, then her ability to drive, then the ability to live alone (I moved in with her for awhile to take care of her). Then she had to move to an assisted living retirement facility. Then that became too much, and she had to move in with my aunt and be taken care of 24/7. Then that became too much, and it was a dementia ward in a nursing home.

Even through all that, every once in awhile, the Grandma I knew as a child and young adult would turn on like a lightbulb in a fleeting moment of lucidity, and we could have a great conversation.

Toward the end, Grandma's dementia gave her Alzheimer's-like symptoms, and most of the time, she didn't know who we were.

I'm thankful that I was there for her; that we were given notice by the staff that it was only "a matter of days." It turned out to be about five. I spent all five of those in her room days by her bed. I got to say goodbye to her. She slept most of that time and had ceased to speak, but I know she knew I was there, that much of her family was there, and that we loved her very much. I kissed her goodbye and went home after 9 pm on Thursday night, and she went home at around 3 am Friday morning, December 18, 2009.

I loved my grandma very much, and not a day has gone by in the last 365 days that I haven't thought of her.

This is the video I made for her memorial service:

Yooch · 12-18-2010, 01:20 AM

Losing a loved one is especially difficult this time of year; I know from experience.

Elvis Fonzie Dean · 12-18-2010, 05:10 AM

Very nice tribute.

Stormtracker TF · 12-18-2010, 06:43 AM

You did a really great job on that tribute. I'll be praying for you and your family, that you can all find peace this Holiday season knowing she is in a better place and that one day you will all be reunited again. I know you know that.

MrCleveland · 12-18-2010, 11:31 AM

Even though it's almost 4 years...I miss my Grandpa.

But this is a VERY good tribute!

Retro4Life · 12-18-2010, 11:43 AM

Death anniversaries are hard. Sending you good wishes on this sad remembrance, and hoping you can hold onto all the good memories. Sounds like you've got lots of them.

AKA · 12-18-2010, 06:23 PM

Thanks everyone. You know, it's harder on the anniversary that it was the actual day she passed away.

Nighthawk76 · 12-20-2010, 01:36 AM

I'm very sorry, Brad. Its a very nice tribute though.

OH Nuts! · 12-20-2010, 03:31 PM

Very touching tribute...please accept my thoughts and condolences on this day

AKA · 12-20-2010, 06:52 PM

Thanks for the support, everyone. It was a hard weekend, but I'm doing a lot better now.

catlover79 · 12-20-2010, 09:51 PM

I'm so sorry, Brad. All of my grandparents are gone now, and I miss them all very much. God bless you!!!

AKA · 12-20-2010, 10:48 PM

Thanks, Monika. My paternal grandmother and my maternal grandfather both died before I was born, and my paternal grandfather died in 2006 without my ever having met him, so when I say "Grandma," I mean "Supergrandma!" She did the job of four grandparents rolled into one.

sh3k · 03-12-2011, 07:58 AM

WHEN YOU LOOSE SOME ONE VERY CLOSE,WHOM IS VERY CLOSE TO YOU,I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE,IT'S SO PAIN FUL.....MAY HER SOUL REST IN PEACE

Penny Lane · 03-13-2011, 04:35 PM

My grandparents are all gone too. I lost my dad in 05 and I really miss him! My mom is 81 but she looks 10 years younger. She's very active and no one ever guesses her age. But I do know that no one lives forever.She being up in years will go too someday. When a person is young you think that they will always be there. It's a sad thing but that's life.

Sorry for your loss Brad. I can tell that you really loved her!

Penny Lane · 03-13-2011, 04:41 PM

The whole family was there when my dad died at home. Well, it was weird. He had this thing about turning off lights. When he passed the bedside lamp went out! It was really strange! The lamp was not defective at all! But we all laughed and it really brightened our mood. We all agreed that was typical of him!

It was really funny!

12-18-2010, 12:50 AM	#1
AKA Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 17, 2001 Posts: 15,746	I lost my grandmother a year ago tonight. It was the autumn of 2000. Grandma, who had been a very active, independent, older woman, was starting to show signs of her age. She was 72 now; eight years into her retirement. Her busy social schedule was still there, but she was starting to... well, resemble an old lady. She was starting to shuffle when she walked and she wasn't as quick on the uptake as we'd known her to be. After some persuasion from my mom and aunt, Grandma went to the doctor to get checked out. It was Parkinson's. When I was given the news, I didn't realize what I was in for. That's what Michael J. Fox has, I thought. She's going to shake a lot. That sucks, but she's going to be just fine. Unfortunately, she wasn't fine. In Grandma's case, her Parkinson's symptoms were not only physical, but also cognitive. Over the next few years, I had to slowly say goodbye as different aspects of my beloved grandmother began to be shed away forever by this horrible disease. First it was her wit, then her ability to drive, then the ability to live alone (I moved in with her for awhile to take care of her). Then she had to move to an assisted living retirement facility. Then that became too much, and she had to move in with my aunt and be taken care of 24/7. Then that became too much, and it was a dementia ward in a nursing home. Even through all that, every once in awhile, the Grandma I knew as a child and young adult would turn on like a lightbulb in a fleeting moment of lucidity, and we could have a great conversation. Toward the end, Grandma's dementia gave her Alzheimer's-like symptoms, and most of the time, she didn't know who we were. I'm thankful that I was there for her; that we were given notice by the staff that it was only "a matter of days." It turned out to be about five. I spent all five of those in her room days by her bed. I got to say goodbye to her. She slept most of that time and had ceased to speak, but I know she knew I was there, that much of her family was there, and that we loved her very much. I kissed her goodbye and went home after 9 pm on Thursday night, and she went home at around 3 am Friday morning, December 18, 2009. I loved my grandma very much, and not a day has gone by in the last 365 days that I haven't thought of her. This is the video I made for her memorial service:

12-18-2010, 01:20 AM	#2
Yooch Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 07, 2006 Location: California Posts: 3,180	Losing a loved one is especially difficult this time of year; I know from experience.
	__________________ "The true meaning of America, you ask? It's in a Texas rodeo, in a policeman's badge, in the sound of laughing children, in a political rally, in a newspaper...In all these things and many more, you'll find freedom. And freedom is what America means to the world. And to me." --Audie Leon Murphy June 20, 1924-- May 28, 1971

12-18-2010, 05:10 AM	#3
Elvis Fonzie Dean Member Moderator Forum Star Join Date: Jan 02, 2003 Location: theUSofA Posts: 16,671	Very nice tribute.
	__________________ Richie:Your lucky this is your jacket because next time its gonna be you! The Fonz:Tell me something Dean...how did he get his jacket inside the bed? http://www.lindapurl.net/gallery/career/hday1.jpg

12-18-2010, 06:43 AM	#4
Stormtracker TF Happy Easter! Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: Jul 19, 2002 Location: Detroit, Michigan Posts: 102,598	You did a really great job on that tribute. I'll be praying for you and your family, that you can all find peace this Holiday season knowing she is in a better place and that one day you will all be reunited again. I know you know that.
	__________________ i s .. i t ... s t i l l .. t h e . n e w .. a g e . ? . . . o r .. a m .. i ... t o o .. l a t e .? █║║▌║█ ║▌║▌│║▌║▌█║▌║█ ║▌║▌│║▌║▌█║▌║█ ║▌║▌│║▌║▌█║▌║█ ║▌║▌│║▌║▌█

12-18-2010, 11:31 AM	#5
MrCleveland Drew Carey from Hell Forum Star Join Date: Nov 10, 2007 Location: The City of Cleveland, in The State of Cleveland, in The United States of Cleveland Posts: 14,233	Even though it's almost 4 years...I miss my Grandpa. But this is a VERY good tribute!
	__________________ Thank God for kids that love Obscure Things. Lee Hazlewood (1929-2007) You ARE Special to God! Rev. Ernest Angely (August 1921-May 2021)

12-18-2010, 11:43 AM	#6
Retro4Life Accept No Substitutes Forum Veteran Join Date: Feb 04, 2009 Location: IL Posts: 6,708	Death anniversaries are hard. Sending you good wishes on this sad remembrance, and hoping you can hold onto all the good memories. Sounds like you've got lots of them.
	__________________ Alex Reiger :[Trying to convince Louie not to antagonize Bobby] "It's not hard to make people feel bad about their lives. What's hard is making people feel good about their lives."

12-18-2010, 06:23 PM	#7
AKA Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 17, 2001 Posts: 15,746	Thanks everyone. You know, it's harder on the anniversary that it was the actual day she passed away.

12-20-2010, 01:36 AM	#8
Nighthawk76 Rachel Berry Forum Celebrity Join Date: Feb 28, 2003 Location: Illinois Posts: 23,254	I'm very sorry, Brad. Its a very nice tribute though.

12-20-2010, 03:31 PM	#9
OH Nuts! Member Forum King Join Date: Feb 15, 2005 Posts: 133,383	Very touching tribute...please accept my thoughts and condolences on this day

12-20-2010, 06:52 PM	#10
AKA Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 17, 2001 Posts: 15,746	Thanks for the support, everyone. It was a hard weekend, but I'm doing a lot better now.

12-20-2010, 09:51 PM	#11
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,392	I'm so sorry, Brad. All of my grandparents are gone now, and I miss them all very much. God bless you!!!
	__________________ "Jesus loves you and He approves this message." "I'm alive. I'm feeling good. I'm trying to live every moment as much as I can." - Valerie Harper, March 2013

12-20-2010, 10:48 PM	#12
AKA Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 17, 2001 Posts: 15,746	Thanks, Monika. My paternal grandmother and my maternal grandfather both died before I was born, and my paternal grandfather died in 2006 without my ever having met him, so when I say "Grandma," I mean "Supergrandma!" She did the job of four grandparents rolled into one.

03-12-2011, 07:58 AM	#13
sh3k Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Mar 06, 2011 Posts: 400	WHEN YOU LOOSE SOME ONE VERY CLOSE,WHOM IS VERY CLOSE TO YOU,I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE,IT'S SO PAIN FUL.....MAY HER SOUL REST IN PEACE

03-13-2011, 04:35 PM	#14
Penny Lane Butter Pie Forum Icon Join Date: Jul 03, 2001 Location: Beneath the blue suburban skies Posts: 51,269	My grandparents are all gone too. I lost my dad in 05 and I really miss him! My mom is 81 but she looks 10 years younger. She's very active and no one ever guesses her age. But I do know that no one lives forever.She being up in years will go too someday. When a person is young you think that they will always be there. It's a sad thing but that's life. Sorry for your loss Brad. I can tell that you really loved her!
	__________________ Vulgarity is no substitute for wit- Lady Violet Crawley

03-13-2011, 04:41 PM	#15
Penny Lane Butter Pie Forum Icon Join Date: Jul 03, 2001 Location: Beneath the blue suburban skies Posts: 51,269	The whole family was there when my dad died at home. Well, it was weird. He had this thing about turning off lights. When he passed the bedside lamp went out! It was really strange! The lamp was not defective at all! But we all laughed and it really brightened our mood. We all agreed that was typical of him! It was really funny!