If Someone Says They Will Show Up At A Certain Time Shouldn't They Follow Through?

[Family Ties Forever!]

If people say they're going to be somewhere at a certain time do you expect them to follow through on that?

I think if someone says they will be somewhere at a specific time then they should or at least call if not.

My mother told me yesterday that she would be here at 12pm today. I just called her as it's 1:10pm. She said she's leaving her house in ten minutes. So she will get here around 2pm. When I asked her why she wasn't here yet she claims she didn't say 12pm. I got up early so that I would be up and ready when she got here.

[Janice]

I can't stand it when a person is habitually late. If it happens once in a while and they have a good excuse, then it's no big deal. I had a friend who was so rude that way. My husband and I would plan to meet her and her husband at a restaurant at a certain time and they would show up an hour or so late. She kept everyone waiting all the time. And Jenny, I'd like to see your mother's reaction if she showed up on time, at noon, and you were still in your pajamas. She'd hit the roof.

[old grouch]

Some people have no sense of time. The trick is this-if you want her there at noon, tell her 11am. Then maybe she might show up at the right time.

[Coffeecup]

I'm the type I get there 10 minutes before you are suppose to. People who show up late I am not friends with. i

[Retro4Life]

Arriving late is disrespectful to the person that is waiting. To me, it's saying that I am not important enough to arrive on time for. That may be a little harsh, but when someone is habitually late, I think it applies. That person is taking you for granted.

In my early twenties I had a couple friends I hung out with, and every Saturday we'd go for pizza, bowling, etc. The one guy always insisted on driving (why we let him is beyond me) and he'd always call and say he'd be around to pick us up at 8. He never showed up before 8:45 and it got to the point where the other friend and I would chat on the phone right up until he arrived. We KNEW that 8 meant 8:45 so we stopped expecting him earlier. I guess if it had mattered that much to us we would have done something about it.

[Family Ties Forever!]

Originally Posted by Janice

I can't stand it when a person is habitually late. If it happens once in a while and they have a good excuse, then it's no big deal. I had a friend who was so rude that way. My husband and I would plan to meet her and her husband at a restaurant at a certain time and they would show up an hour or so late. She kept everyone waiting all the time. And Jenny, I'd like to see your mother's reaction if she showed up on time, at noon, and you were still in your pajamas. She'd hit the roof.

You're right.

[OH Nuts!]

I basically agree with you. I have to admit, punctuality isn't my strong suit, but when I have an appointment with someone for dinner etc. I'm always there on time or no more than 5-10 minutes late. If we are meeting on a street corner I'm always there on time or no later than 2 min. Anything later, I give a call to let them know I'm delayed-but I am RARELY late like that. There was this one woman I liked who I used to do volunteer work for but she was ALWAYS late for any appointment we had together. Right now she is looking for work, but I can't recommend her to anyone because she is ALWAYS late.

I'm not sure if a person's lateness is always out of disrespect as much as it is a symptom of dysfunctionality. In any event, chronic lateness brands someone as unreliable and they get treated accordingly.

[Coffeecup]

Here's another take on the situation. What if you were going to the doctor or an appointment. Would you show up 15 minutes late?. I wouldn't. They would take the next person and you would out in the cold. Show up on time or don't plan the situation.

[ThomasE]

Originally Posted by Family Ties Forever!

If people say they're going to be somewhere at a certain time do you expect them to follow through on that?

I think if someone says they will be somewhere at a specific time then they should or at least call if not.

My mother told me yesterday that she would be here at 12pm today. I just called her as it's 1:10pm. She said she's leaving her house in ten minutes. So she will get here around 2pm. When I asked her why she wasn't here yet she claims she didn't say 12pm. I got up early so that I would be up and ready when she got here.

My mom does the same thing bless her heart. Growing up, she would always be on my case about showing up on time but was always late. When I started on Celebrity Apprentice, she gave me this speech about working with these people on NBC and how I needed to be on time and not show up late on work. I hadn't lived in the house in five years so how is she supposed to know whether I'm late or on time?

Earlier this year I made a trip to Tampa, FL to work on another show. I called her as soon as my plane landed and she said she was on the way. Then one hour later, I call her and she tells me she hasn't left yet. I just shook my head because I knew this is how she is.

When I was 19 years old, I had to be to work @ 3pm and she picks me up from our house at 2:53pm. Her excuse was "I had to go pick up my dry cleaning". I was like, "mom, you know I had to be to work at 3." She was like, "I made a bad choice, huh? I was p.o.'d. She was driving and I was silent for the ride to work. She was trying to force me to speak by saying, "Come on Tommie. I want you to say, "I'm not gonna be late for work! Say it!" That angered me even more since she was the one that caused me to be late for work in the first place. I was not happy. I love my mother. She is one of my best friends but she does have major issues with punctuality.