TIME: "Top 10 Worst Movie Sequel Titles"

[JamesG]

Top 10 Worst Movie Sequel Titles

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps proves once again that bad titles also get little rest.

TIME takes a look at some of the worst sequel names in film history:





1. Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (2010)
Sequel to Wall Street (1987)








Of course money never sleeps: It's an inanimate object!

Other just-as-accurate titles Oliver Stone could have considered for the sequel to his 1988 business drama: Wall Street: Money Never Eats, Wall Street 2: Money Never Says Never, Wall Street 2: Money Never Just Wants To Be Friends.




Perhaps by pointing out the insomniatic nature of currency, Stone is trying to make a commentary on the way that liquid capital slyly exerts power over the economic system that dwarves that of mere humans? Maybe.

But in that case, he would have been better off using this line from David Mamet's Heist: "Everybody needs money. That's why they call it money."













2. Highlander II: The Quickening (1991)
Sequel to Highlander (1986)








What is "the Quickening" exactly? Well, it turns out even the people behind the Highlander fantasy series aren't sure.

In general Highlander mythology, a Quickening is the explosion of energy that happens when one immortal swordsman decapitates another.



However, in the original 1986 film, the Quickening is also the process through which the Immortals discover their true nature.

And in 1991's Highlander II, a Quickening is basically a writer's trick to get characters out of a jam: one Quickening de-ages our hero (it's complicated), and also brings Sean Connery back from the dead (it's very complicated) and another Quickening at the climax takes down a shield that was covering up the ozone layer.

(Complicated is maybe not a strong enough word.) Perhaps they should have just called the film Highlander II: The Deus Ex Machina













3. Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009)
Sequel to Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007)








Contrary to what a lot of people will tell you, there is nothing inherently wrong with puns. Shakespeare used them, James Joyce used them — The Beatles even used one to come up with the name of their band.

But it's hard not to dislike puns when they're as bad as the one in the title of the newest Alvin and the Chipmunks film. The 'Squeak'-quel? Really?

If we're being charitable, though, we will admit: That awful title is the most creative thing about the entire film. (The plot, if you were unaware, takes the singing chipmunks to high school, just because.)




Unfortunately, last year's Squeakquel made even more money than the original Alvin and the Chipmunks, which means one thing: Get ready for the shrill-ogy.













4. Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood (2003)
Sequel to Leprechaun in the Hood (2000)








Despite middling reviews, the original 1993 Leprechaun was a cult-classic, a financial success, and marked the film debut of a pre-"Friends" Jennifer Aniston.

It set a fairly high bar for the sequels that followed, one that 2003's Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood managed to shimmy under without breaking a sweat.




To be fair, the sixth installment in any franchise is probably scraping the bottom of the barrel. But really — making a movie chock full of racial stereotypes while rehashing the same old plot (Yes, you still can't take this leprechaun's gold without him hunting you down and killing you) is just lazy.




A hint to filmmakers: When you have to resort to a title that looks like something tapped out on a cell phone by a 13-year-old upper-middle-class suburban kid desperate to prove to his friends just how gangsta he is, that's probably a sign your movie is in trouble.

Even if it is straight-to-video.













5. 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)
Sequel to The Fast and the Furious (2001)








It's the title that launched a million movie-review puns. To quote USA Today, for example, "'2 Fast' is 2 dopey, and that's 2 bad."

The film itself? Almost 2 similar to the original, but why tweak success?




In 2003, 2 Fast 2 Furious took the fast cars and buff bodies of 2001's The Fast and the Furious from Los Angeles to Miami, and replaced standout Vin Diesel (who was too busy dealing with newfound fame) with model-actor Tyrese Gibson as Paul Walker's buddy.

Other than that, the formula stayed the same, just with even more racing and even less plot. Moviegoers didn't seem to mind the corny title — take fast cars and add hot girls, and you get a $127 million box-office gross.




However, the next film in the series, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, only took in $62 million. Should have called it 3 Fast 3 Furious.











6. The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000)
Prequel to The Flintstones (1994)








1994's The Flintstones dosed audiences in nostalgic camp with a live-action version of Hanna-Barbera's beloved cartoon classic. Fans seemed smitten with the film, which grossed nearly $350 million worldwide.

But when film execs released a sequel (technically prequel) in 2000, its title was nearly as bad as its plot.



The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas is a prequel to the first film, and tells the story of how Fred and Barney met Wilma and Betty while living in the Flintstones-esque Las Vegas.

The film's title is a pun on the 1964 film Viva Las Vegas, starring Elvis Presley and Ann-Margaret, who appears in a cameo role as (ugh...) Ann-Margrock.













7. Live Free or Die Hard (2007)
Sequel to Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995)








What does this title actually mean? We've been trying to figure this out. So let us progress through the stages here.

First you die hard. Then you die harder. Then you die hard with a vengeance, like "Yeah, I'm seriously dying hard here!"

Then...you live free or die hard? Are those the only two options here? Are we basically returning to the initial concept, because it seems that we're just dying hard all over again...



Also, Justin Long's here. That's right, the Mac guy's in an action film.
And he's not half-bad. So, watch this movie or die hard.











8. Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (2003)
Sequel to Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)








The Cradle of Life sounds like a really sappy Lifetime movie about a mother being wrongfully accused of matricide or a really boring documentary about Earth's origins.

Either way the title is just bad. The movie is actually about the search for Pandora's Box which is hidden in the Cradle of Life, the birthplace of all humanity.

Therefore, a more apt name probably would have been Lara Croft Tomb Raider: Pandora's Box...though we're not even sure that would be an improvement.













9. Howling III: The Marsupials (1987)
Sequel to Howling II: Stirba – Werewolf Bitch (1985)








There's really no way not to mock this title.

The third entry in the 1980s werewolf film series takes place in Australia (hence the title), though it does not feature werewolfs with pouches or werewolfs that bounce, because that might have made the movie entertaining.


At one point, a woman gives birth to a werewolf baby, a blatant rip-off of the zombie baby birth scene in Dawn of the Dead. (And, disgusting.)

Also, this is a horror movie titled The Marsupials, which sort of disqualifies it from being called a horror movie.













10. Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction (2006)
Sequel to Basic Instinct (1992)








When you're Sharon Stone, could you really ever outdo yourself?

Stone's lewd and lascivious leg crossing in the 1992 erotic thriller Basic Instinct was just one sultry moment in a movie that had little problem maintaining the heat.

The '92 movie was a critical hit, and helped solidify Stone's star. She was wise enough to avoid roles that directly mimicked the iconic role, and she waited fourteen years to return to the character in the London-set movie titled Risk Addiction. Yes, Risk Addiction.

Not surprisingly, the film flopped at the box office, which proves that doubling up on vaguely carnal titles is a pretty limp marketing strategy.

http://www.time.com/time/specials/pa...020877,00.html

[MrCleveland]

Some may object now with "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps" with the movie becoming a weekend hit at the theaters!