Drivers Beware of Gordon Leadfoot and Others

[Zoneboy]

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These couple of weeks before Labor Day can be a congested time in Cody.

It's when the start of school clashes with the end of tourist season.
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While tourists drive to and from motels and other destinations, pedestrian traffic picks up near schools. Streets around the high school and Eastside seem to be extra busy this time of year due to their close proximity to downtown.

That means motorists should take extra precautions, especially in school zones: Slow down and watch for pedestrians.

Perhaps there isn't a better time to review the various types of drivers we should watch for.

After all, each of us experiences "bad drivers" daily. And because of that, all of us suffer from some level of road rage - whether it's just mumbling to ourselves or something more extreme.

Bad drivers have at least one thing in common: They need to revisit elementary school:

•Green means go.

•Red means stop.

•Stop means stop.

•Know the progression of numbers. For example, 55 is greater than 25.

•Be courteous to others.

•Pay attention.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking ... That's silly. Everyone knows those things.

Think again. Knowing and doing are two different things.

In addition, while driving, you are usually oblivious to other motorists - who they are, where they're going and, often times, where did they learn how to drive?

So the next time you hop into your vehicle, here are some of the bad drivers you might encounter. Beware:

Gordon Leadfoot:

Some probably have heard of Gordon Lightfoot, the singer-songwriter who had a few soft rock hits in the 1970s.

Well, there's nothing soft about "Leadfoot." This person drives as if his foot is magnetically drawn to the gas pedal.

In his defense, maybe he's in a rush to use the restroom. But for whatever reason, speed is his thing. A 35-mph speed limit means he drives 50, and 55 means 70 and so on.

Still, despite his obsession to drive fast, he has an affectionate side. You might find him directly behind you, right on your bumper.

Parade Marshal:

Opposite "Leadfoot," there's the "Parade Marshal."

Ever get behind someone driving 15 mph in a 30-mph zone or 45 in a 75?

This person drives so slow, you think he's in a parade. But where are the band and crowd? And why isn't he waving?

"Im-pause-ter";

Like an imposter, this driver engages in deception by making you think he sees you, and he's actually going to stop at the stop sign and wait for you to drive by.

Instead, he pauses or slowly strolls through the intersection. And, as if he never saw you, he waits until you're close and cuts right in front of you. You're forced to hit your brakes.

Doctor Octopus:

He is one of Spider Man's greatest enemies and, likewise, will drive fellow motorists crazy.

As if he has as many arms as an octopus, this distracted motorist insists on multitasking while driving:

Talk on the cell phone, text, light a cigarette, play with the stereo, eat a sandwich, pet the dog which is sitting on his lap or, if he could, wash dishes.

These risk-takers anxiously are awaiting the auto industry to introduce an "auto driver."

Rod Serling:

Named after the narrator of the great TV series, this is the motorist who drives like he's in "The Twilight Zone."

They might never use their turn signals, or they might never turn them off. They might swerve in and out of their lane. They might make wide turns. And they might drive with their headlights off after sundown.

Rural areas are notorious for these type of motorists. They drive as if no one else is around.

So if you're driving down the road and the theme from "The Twilight Zone" comes on the radio, that's a warning.

Leave the road immediately.