Paul Petersen's Tribute to Gary Coleman - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

catlover79 · 05-30-2010, 07:59 PM

Paul Petersen, Donna Reed's son on The Donna Reed Show and founder of the child actor foundation A Minor Consideration, wrote a touching eulogy to Gary Coleman. Here it is:

http://www.minorcon.org/gary_coleman1.html

Gary Coleman
May 28, 2010

My friend has died. Long live my friend.

"Wha'chu talkin' about, Willis?"

At 42, he has passed, my little buddy, Gary Coleman. Much will be written and said about this American icon…and very little of it true.

During the trial against his parents, Gary told me the story of his adoption: "When my parents got me home, they found out I was broken. And they couldn't take me back."

He bought a Hummer when he won the lawsuit against his parents, a big Red one that required a step-stool to enter and exit, and when my wife saw him drive up to the Smoke House restaurant with his new prize and stagger down from the driver's seat, she seized his shoulders and said, "Gary, you look ridiculous."

I've used this term for many years: "Damaged goods."

We did not treat him fairly, this diminutive television star. He knew he was born to please, this child of God who lived without kidneys.

Did we give him credit for his Gift? I think not. In 1980 we filmed a movie with Gary, "Scout's Honor," me and Lauren Chapin, Jay North and Angela Cartwright. Before we shot our first scene, Gary had to go behind the set and throw up. I was concerned and said so.

"Oh, don't worry about Gary", I was told. "He's always been sick."

If you remember nothing else about Gary Coleman, remember that. He gave you everything he had. He lived twice as long as the doctors thought possible.

Gary Coleman. A good man gone.

Paul Petersen

Mr. Television · 05-30-2010, 08:03 PM

Thanks for posting that Monika. That was very touching.

catlover79 · 05-30-2010, 08:13 PM

I was happy to. God bless Paul Petersen - he really cares about his fellow child stars, past and present. Too bad more people in Hollywood aren't like him. I'm sure his "mom and dad", Donna Reed and Carl Betz, are smiling down on him.

Marvo301 · 05-30-2010, 09:47 PM

What wonderful tribute to Gary! Sometimes I forget that when Gary was making all those TV episodes and TV movies that I so enjoyed watching he was already very sick with kidney disease. He really did go far beyond what could have been reasonably expected to entertain us and to give us the gift of laughter. God bless you Gary and thank-you so much!

old grouch · 05-30-2010, 10:05 PM

Gary Coleman was 'broken', according to his parents, so they turned him into a commodity.

Gary throws up on a movie set, and Paul Petersen shows concern, while everyone else-including his parents-just shrugs it off.

It's too bad that Gary Coleman didn't have Paul Petersen for a parent. He may have done a little better in life.

catlover79 · 05-30-2010, 11:57 PM

^ I agree!! They saw him as a meal ticket and not as a child.

Mr. Television · 05-31-2010, 12:11 AM

Reading all I have the last few days has given me a new perspective on Gary Coleman. I can understand why he was bitter. He had said that he enjoyed the first 2 years of DS and the rest was just a job. Todd Bridges commented a few months ago how Coleman's parents separated him from the rest of the kids on the set during the 3rd season. Before that, they would hang out. I think his parent's robbed him of his childhood and stole his money so I can understand why he was bitter. I don't think it was right for him to take it out on the fans who loved him on the show but I can understand it better now. He wanted to establish himself as an adult actor but he was never given that chance and a lot of it had to do with his size. A lot of the times his health probably caused him to be angrier as well. The tabloids loved to use him for their own personal game too. He gave a lot of people so much laughter. He practically kept NBC afloat in the late 70's and early 80's. It's too bad he wasn't appreciated more when he was alive. I hope he's finally at peace.

catlover79 · 05-31-2010, 01:19 AM

Speaking of the parents...

http://www.people.com/people/article...390046,00.html

Gary Coleman's Heartbroken Parents Want Answers About His Death
By Ken Lee
Saturday May 29, 2010 05:20 PM EDT

In the last 10 years, the only way Sue and Willie Coleman kept up with their estranged son's life was through headlines: his marriage, his legal problems, and finally, his hospitalization and removal from life support on Friday.

"We would've loved to have been there by his side at the hospital, to let him know we love him before he passed away," Sue Coleman, 67, tells PEOPLE. "This is a shock to us. We loved Gary very much. We're going to miss him."

Janet Frank, a spokeswoman for Utah Valley Regional Medical Center in Provo, would only say that an "accident" occurred in the actor's Santaquin, Utah, home on Wednesday evening, and that Coleman had suffered an intracranial hemorrhage.

Cause of Death Under Investigation
She declined to give details, citing the wishes of Gary's wife, Shannon Price, 24, and her family. The official cause of death is still under investigation, Frank says.

"We're not pointing fingers at anyone, but we need to know exactly what happened" says Sue, a longtime nurse who lives with her husband, Willie, 71, a retired forklift driver, in suburban Illinois. "We're not angry. We're just concerned. Did our son fall down the stairs? Did he fall in the bathtub? We need to have some closure on our son's life."

Coleman and his wife had a stormy past – Coleman pleaded guilty to domestic violence in February – but Santaquin Police Chief Dennis Howard tells PEOPLE, "There was absolutely nothing suspicious about [Coleman's] death. There is no [criminal] investigation going on."

The Price family could not be reached for comment.

The Colemans believe Shannon can provide details of the accident, and tried to pass messages to her when they first heard their son was hospitalized, but to no avail. They say they also tried to contact the Price family by calling Santaquin police, which turned out to be the day he was taken off life support.

"We respect the relationship our son had with Shannon," Sue adds. "When we found out he got married, we thought, 'Well, at least he has someone in his life who he cares about and who cares about him.' We were happy about that. But it's frustrating that we haven't heard from the Price family. But it's possible they didn't even know we existed. Gary may have told her that he didn't have any family."

Longtime Estrangement
Although the actor famously sued his parents and business manager in 1989 for allegedly stealing his multimillion-dollar fortune – a claim his parents have long denied, citing their continuous working-class life – his mother and father say their door, and hearts, were always open to their son. The Colemans, they say, had simply become entangled in the complications of their son's worldwide fame.

"Gary wanted to live his life the way he wanted to live it, on his own terms," Sue says. "And that's what we let him do. But our address and phone number haven't changed for more than 20 years. He could've gotten in touch with us any time he wanted to. We were always open to him and he knew that we loved him."

Marvo301 · 05-31-2010, 02:56 AM

It is so sad when family members are estranged from one another. And it's sadder still when one of them dies while they are still estranged. Sadly that's what happened to Gary. I feel so bad that he never reconciled in any way with his parents. And that's something they will now have to live with for the rest of their lives. I hope and pray that they will be able to get the closure they're seeking regarding Gary's death. Regardless of their shortcomings (which have been mentioned elsewhere in this thread) they were still his parents and it's sad they weren't part of his life for the last 20 years and that they weren't with him at the end.

80sTrivia · 05-31-2010, 09:40 AM

Mr. Television · 05-31-2010, 10:20 AM

It would have been nice if they could have reconciled. A lot of Gary's anger came from his relationship with them. I remember seeing Gary and his Mom doing commercials together during the DS days. They looked so happy. I guess looks can be deceiving.

catlover79 · 05-31-2010, 11:29 AM

Plus, no matter what marital problems Gary and Shannon had, it seemed like he was very close with her family. I'm glad that he had them, at least.

The Great One · 05-31-2010, 05:36 PM

Great eulogy from Paul Petersen. Thank for posting the link.

McGillicuddy · 05-31-2010, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by catlover79

I was happy to. God bless Paul Petersen - he really cares about his fellow child stars, past and present. Too bad more people in Hollywood aren't like him. I'm sure his "mom and dad", Donna Reed and Carl Betz, are smiling down on him.

Yes, my hat is off to Paul Peterson. Sometimes it just blows my mind the number of former childhood stars that have dealt with so many struggles. It's so incredible that Paul and his wife seem to have devoted there lives to helping them whatever way they can.

Larenz09 · 06-01-2010, 11:35 AM

Very moving, indeed!

Almost one year to the day. Short of one month from now, Michael Jackson also was a lonely man in a lonely world! He had his kids though, to be there with and for him, sort of, to hold things together.

Gary, on the other hand, having his wife with him, was probably hurting on the inside both physically and emotionally. And like Michael Jackson, he seems to be getting more reccognition now than he was when he was alive.

And yes, it IS too bad that he didn't break the ice with his parents. At least they would have known that he cared had he tried to make the first move.

But now, I'm wondering if it was his kidneys that caused his ceranial hemorage or was it something else.

05-30-2010, 07:59 PM	#1
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,376	Paul Petersen's Tribute to Gary Coleman Paul Petersen, Donna Reed's son on The Donna Reed Show and founder of the child actor foundation A Minor Consideration, wrote a touching eulogy to Gary Coleman. Here it is: http://www.minorcon.org/gary_coleman1.html Gary Coleman May 28, 2010 My friend has died. Long live my friend. "Wha'chu talkin' about, Willis?" At 42, he has passed, my little buddy, Gary Coleman. Much will be written and said about this American icon…and very little of it true. During the trial against his parents, Gary told me the story of his adoption: "When my parents got me home, they found out I was broken. And they couldn't take me back." He bought a Hummer when he won the lawsuit against his parents, a big Red one that required a step-stool to enter and exit, and when my wife saw him drive up to the Smoke House restaurant with his new prize and stagger down from the driver's seat, she seized his shoulders and said, "Gary, you look ridiculous." I've used this term for many years: "Damaged goods." We did not treat him fairly, this diminutive television star. He knew he was born to please, this child of God who lived without kidneys. Did we give him credit for his Gift? I think not. In 1980 we filmed a movie with Gary, "Scout's Honor," me and Lauren Chapin, Jay North and Angela Cartwright. Before we shot our first scene, Gary had to go behind the set and throw up. I was concerned and said so. "Oh, don't worry about Gary", I was told. "He's always been sick." If you remember nothing else about Gary Coleman, remember that. He gave you everything he had. He lived twice as long as the doctors thought possible. Gary Coleman. A good man gone. Paul Petersen
	__________________ "Jesus loves you and He approves this message." "I'm alive. I'm feeling good. I'm trying to live every moment as much as I can." - Valerie Harper, March 2013

05-30-2010, 08:03 PM	#2
Mr. Television 22 Years at Sitcoms Online Forum Icon Join Date: Jun 06, 2003 Location: Somewhere you're Not Posts: 62,128	Thanks for posting that Monika. That was very touching.
	__________________ Sonny

05-30-2010, 09:47 PM	#4
Marvo301 I'm NOT a Blockhead! Forum Celebrity Join Date: May 17, 2002 Location: The Great White North Posts: 21,452	What wonderful tribute to Gary! Sometimes I forget that when Gary was making all those TV episodes and TV movies that I so enjoyed watching he was already very sick with kidney disease. He really did go far beyond what could have been reasonably expected to entertain us and to give us the gift of laughter. God bless you Gary and thank-you so much!
	__________________ Only a life lived for others is worth living. Albert Einstein A life isn't worth living unless it has impact on other lives. Jackie Robinson Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. Benjamin Franklin

05-31-2010, 09:40 AM	#10
80sTrivia Member Forum Celebrity Join Date: May 23, 2002 Posts: 21,715
	__________________ Perfect Gift Books for Pop Culture Fanatics: Thank You for Being a Friend: A Golden Girls Trivia Book The Bouquet Residence: A Keeping Up Appearances Trivia Book Cooking With the Golden Girls: Fun & Delicious Recipes from a Hilarious Miami Kitchen Love in the Afternoon: The Ultimate Soap Opera Trivia Book The Last Great Decade: The Ultimate 90s Trivia Book Betty White: A Celebration

05-31-2010, 05:36 PM	#13
The Great One Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Aug 29, 2006 Posts: 6,378	Great eulogy from Paul Petersen. Thank for posting the link.
	__________________ .

05-30-2010, 08:13 PM	#3
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,376	I was happy to. God bless Paul Petersen - he really cares about his fellow child stars, past and present. Too bad more people in Hollywood aren't like him. I'm sure his "mom and dad", Donna Reed and Carl Betz, are smiling down on him.

05-30-2010, 10:05 PM	#5
old grouch Member Senior Member Join Date: May 13, 2010 Location: montana Posts: 1,877	Gary Coleman was 'broken', according to his parents, so they turned him into a commodity. Gary throws up on a movie set, and Paul Petersen shows concern, while everyone else-including his parents-just shrugs it off. It's too bad that Gary Coleman didn't have Paul Petersen for a parent. He may have done a little better in life.

05-30-2010, 11:57 PM	#6
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,376	^ I agree!! They saw him as a meal ticket and not as a child.

05-31-2010, 12:11 AM	#7
Mr. Television 22 Years at Sitcoms Online Forum Icon Join Date: Jun 06, 2003 Location: Somewhere you're Not Posts: 62,128	Reading all I have the last few days has given me a new perspective on Gary Coleman. I can understand why he was bitter. He had said that he enjoyed the first 2 years of DS and the rest was just a job. Todd Bridges commented a few months ago how Coleman's parents separated him from the rest of the kids on the set during the 3rd season. Before that, they would hang out. I think his parent's robbed him of his childhood and stole his money so I can understand why he was bitter. I don't think it was right for him to take it out on the fans who loved him on the show but I can understand it better now. He wanted to establish himself as an adult actor but he was never given that chance and a lot of it had to do with his size. A lot of the times his health probably caused him to be angrier as well. The tabloids loved to use him for their own personal game too. He gave a lot of people so much laughter. He practically kept NBC afloat in the late 70's and early 80's. It's too bad he wasn't appreciated more when he was alive. I hope he's finally at peace.

05-31-2010, 01:19 AM	#8
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,376	Speaking of the parents... http://www.people.com/people/article...390046,00.html Gary Coleman's Heartbroken Parents Want Answers About His Death By Ken Lee Saturday May 29, 2010 05:20 PM EDT In the last 10 years, the only way Sue and Willie Coleman kept up with their estranged son's life was through headlines: his marriage, his legal problems, and finally, his hospitalization and removal from life support on Friday. "We would've loved to have been there by his side at the hospital, to let him know we love him before he passed away," Sue Coleman, 67, tells PEOPLE. "This is a shock to us. We loved Gary very much. We're going to miss him." Janet Frank, a spokeswoman for Utah Valley Regional Medical Center in Provo, would only say that an "accident" occurred in the actor's Santaquin, Utah, home on Wednesday evening, and that Coleman had suffered an intracranial hemorrhage. Cause of Death Under Investigation She declined to give details, citing the wishes of Gary's wife, Shannon Price, 24, and her family. The official cause of death is still under investigation, Frank says. "We're not pointing fingers at anyone, but we need to know exactly what happened" says Sue, a longtime nurse who lives with her husband, Willie, 71, a retired forklift driver, in suburban Illinois. "We're not angry. We're just concerned. Did our son fall down the stairs? Did he fall in the bathtub? We need to have some closure on our son's life." Coleman and his wife had a stormy past – Coleman pleaded guilty to domestic violence in February – but Santaquin Police Chief Dennis Howard tells PEOPLE, "There was absolutely nothing suspicious about [Coleman's] death. There is no [criminal] investigation going on." The Price family could not be reached for comment. The Colemans believe Shannon can provide details of the accident, and tried to pass messages to her when they first heard their son was hospitalized, but to no avail. They say they also tried to contact the Price family by calling Santaquin police, which turned out to be the day he was taken off life support. "We respect the relationship our son had with Shannon," Sue adds. "When we found out he got married, we thought, 'Well, at least he has someone in his life who he cares about and who cares about him.' We were happy about that. But it's frustrating that we haven't heard from the Price family. But it's possible they didn't even know we existed. Gary may have told her that he didn't have any family." Longtime Estrangement Although the actor famously sued his parents and business manager in 1989 for allegedly stealing his multimillion-dollar fortune – a claim his parents have long denied, citing their continuous working-class life – his mother and father say their door, and hearts, were always open to their son. The Colemans, they say, had simply become entangled in the complications of their son's worldwide fame. "Gary wanted to live his life the way he wanted to live it, on his own terms," Sue says. "And that's what we let him do. But our address and phone number haven't changed for more than 20 years. He could've gotten in touch with us any time he wanted to. We were always open to him and he knew that we loved him."

05-31-2010, 02:56 AM	#9
Marvo301 I'm NOT a Blockhead! Forum Celebrity Join Date: May 17, 2002 Location: The Great White North Posts: 21,452	It is so sad when family members are estranged from one another. And it's sadder still when one of them dies while they are still estranged. Sadly that's what happened to Gary. I feel so bad that he never reconciled in any way with his parents. And that's something they will now have to live with for the rest of their lives. I hope and pray that they will be able to get the closure they're seeking regarding Gary's death. Regardless of their shortcomings (which have been mentioned elsewhere in this thread) they were still his parents and it's sad they weren't part of his life for the last 20 years and that they weren't with him at the end.

05-31-2010, 10:20 AM	#11
Mr. Television 22 Years at Sitcoms Online Forum Icon Join Date: Jun 06, 2003 Location: Somewhere you're Not Posts: 62,128	It would have been nice if they could have reconciled. A lot of Gary's anger came from his relationship with them. I remember seeing Gary and his Mom doing commercials together during the DS days. They looked so happy. I guess looks can be deceiving.

05-31-2010, 11:29 AM	#12
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,376	Plus, no matter what marital problems Gary and Shannon had, it seemed like he was very close with her family. I'm glad that he had them, at least.

06-01-2010, 11:35 AM	#15
Larenz09 Gary Coleman, we'll miss you! Forum Regular Join Date: Jun 12, 2008 Location: East Boston, MA. Posts: 659	Very moving, indeed! Almost one year to the day. Short of one month from now, Michael Jackson also was a lonely man in a lonely world! He had his kids though, to be there with and for him, sort of, to hold things together. Gary, on the other hand, having his wife with him, was probably hurting on the inside both physically and emotionally. And like Michael Jackson, he seems to be getting more reccognition now than he was when he was alive. And yes, it IS too bad that he didn't break the ice with his parents. At least they would have known that he cared had he tried to make the first move. But now, I'm wondering if it was his kidneys that caused his ceranial hemorage or was it something else.