A Honeymooners Memorial Day Skit:

[Frank Gannucci]

(Ralph & Ed are packing the car.)

Ralph: "Boy, this is going to be a fun trip. The Raccoons having a barbeque on Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey. That is the same beach that Scott & Todd from WPLJ did their radio show on Friday."

Ed: "Yes, I have seen that boardwalk. We will have so much fun Ralph-ie boy, playing those arcade games and me going on the merry-go-round."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

(Alice & Trixie come out with thier stuff.)

Alice: "Ralph, I hope we don't overpack. After all, it was YOU who insisted on bringing a bar-be-que grill with a propane tank with us. Are you sure that the lifeguards on the beach will allow this?"

Ralph: "Certainly, I am sure. That beach is just like Miami Beach, the only difference is that Miami Beach is better."

(Audience cheers.)

Ralph: "Let's all go. We will have fun."

Alice: "I hope you don't drink too much."

Ralph: "I never do."

Alice: "Oh, you don't? I suppose you were sober the other night when you came in, stuck your head out the window and yelled: 'Hey Mrs. Gallagher, get your cat out of my apartment.' The only thing is that it wasn't her cat. You had your Raccoon hat on backwards."

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP! LET'S ALL GET GOING! WE ARE STAYING AT THE AMETHYST'S BEACH MOTEL. LET'S GO!"

(They all leave. They arrive at the motel. Their room is on the top floor. Alice & Trixie arrive in first.)

Alice: "Ralph, you are crazy bringing that grill up here."

Ralph (yells): "NO, WE ARE NOT ALICE! I DON'T WANT THIS GRILL BEING STOLEN. COME ON NORTON, PICK IT UP!"

Ed (yells): "IT'S HEAVY RALPH!"

Ralph (yells): "WHAT ARE YOU, A BABY? CARRY IT UP."

Alice: "Ralph, you can't have that propane tank up here due to gas emission laws."

Ralph (yells): "OH BALONEY! I AM VERY CAREFUL."

(The girls reluctantly allow the boys to bring the grill up to the motel room.)

Ralph: "Boy, that grill was heavy."

Alice: "Ralph, what happens if a person in charge comes up here?"

Ralph: "Nobody comes up here. This is a motel. No one here cleans the rooms."

(On Memorial Day, all of them are on Point Pleasant Beach in New Jersey.)

Ralph: "Wow Raccoons, did you hear about that story on AOL about a bus driver getting that gift? What a great story."

Man: "Yeah."

(The lifeguards come by.)

Lifeguard: "Sir, you have to take the grill off the beach. You don't have permission to cook here."

Ralph: "You don't understand. We are the Raccoons."

Lifeguard: "I don't care. It is not allowed."

Ralph (yells): "I DON'T CARE! WE ARE COOKING HERE! IT WAS ALLOWED BEFORE AND I AM NOT BUDGING. YOU ARE TAKING THAT GRILL OVER MY DEAD BODY!"

(Ralph is shown in jail. The Nortons and Alice bail him out.)

Ralph (yells): "I GOT A BIIIG MOUTH."

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. The audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Happy Memorial Day to you all."

(Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)