Sunday's Quotes & Ralph Kramden, a NJ Devils fan? (Part 3)

[Frank Gannucci]

(The Philadelphia Flyers beat the NJ Devils 2-1.)

(Ralph is shown in the kitchen. He looks upset. Alice comes in.)

Alice: "I take it that the Devils lost."

Ralph: "You got that right Alice. The Devils had the game and they let it slip away."

Alice: "When is their next game?"

Ralph: "I believe it's on Tuesday. If they lose that game, they will really be in a hole. If they do lose, I hope they do what the Devils 10 years ago did to Philly. Back then, the Flyers had a 3 game to 1 lead and blew it."

(Ed comes in. He blows his nose.)

Ed: "Whaddaya say Ralph? Whaddaya say Alice?"

Alice: "Hello Ed."

Ralph: "Hello Norton."

Ed: "I heard the Devils lost. I so wish we can go to Philly just to root on the Devils."

Ralph: "That is a great idea Norton."

Ed: "Plus, if we do go and go across the bridge from New Jersey to Pennsylvania, I want to look at all that water. I know full well that that water flows into the sewers."

Ralph: "Yeah, we will show those Philly fans something."

Ed: "Ralph, Philly can be a very dangerous town."

Ralph: "Oooh, are you saying that I can't beat people up? I have an advantage in fights Alice."

Alice: "What is that? The advantage that no one can pick you up?"

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP!"

Ralph: "When I was in school, three people wanted to beat me up, but when I started fighting, they ran away."

Ed: "The fact that they were skinny nerds helped."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

Ralph: "Alice, somewhere there is a straight-jacked for that man."

(Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out.)

Ralph (yells): "LET'S GO DEVILS! THE NJ DEVILS THAT IS!"

McGarrity (from upstairs, yells): "HEY KRAMDEN!"

(Ralph looks up. He gets a face full of water and food. Alice laughs.)

Ralph (yells): "WOULD I LIKE TO BELT YOU AND MY WIFE JUST ONCE."

McGarrity (yells): "YOU BELT ME? HAHAHAHAHA!"

(Ralph's face is now even meaner.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

"A Little Man Who Wasn't There Part 2":

(Ralph and another guy are playing pool. The guy hits the cue ball and it misses the pool balls.)

Man: "It's on it's way."

Ralph: "Yeah, to Newark."

"Finders Keepers":

Ralph: "I have flipped huh? Well, for your information Norton is my partner."

Alice: "Well, if you flip, it's always nice to have company."

"Man In The Blue Suit":

Ralph: "You know it was pretty lonely here without you Alice."

Trixie: "Oh Ed, why can't you talk to me like that?"

Ed: "I would be happy too if you only go away every once and a while."

"On Stage":

Ralph: "Are you sure you can type faster than me?"

Ed: "With boxing gloves on."

"On Stage":

Ed: "While I was in the Navy, I studied typing under the G.I. Bill and I happened to be the best in the class."

Ralph: "Then why didn't you get a job in an office instead of one in the sewer?"

Ed: "I couldn't stand the thought ouf being cooped up in a stuffy office all day."

"The Safety Award":

Ralph: "A group of men are picked to do a job, trained in the same fashion as each other, and there's always one man in the group that stands out far in front of the others."

Ed: "If you stood out any more in front you wouldn't be able to get behind the wheel of a bus!"

"Movies Are Better Than Ever":

Ralph: "Boy, if you were my size. If youw ere only my size..."

Alice: "If I was, I would be the fat lady in the circus."

"Ralph Kramden Presents":

Ed: "Have I seen you once?"

Jean Kean (as herself): "I don't believe so."

Ed: "Did you ever work in the sewer?"

"Follow The Boys":

(Alice wants to go to the movies but Ralph doesn't want him to go. He has to go bowling for the Hurricanes.)

Ralph: "The hurricanes need me."

Alice: "I feel very sorry for the Hurricanes because the biggest wind of them all is not going to be there."