Episode Reviews: "Curse of The Kramdens"/"Mod Couple" (aka "Honeymooners In England")

[Frank Gannucci]

Also, with St. Patty's Day coming up, I thought it would be a good idea to post the review of the following episode.

Episode #158 (Syndicated episode #5)
TV: Hour (edited)
DVD: Attached to "Mod Couple" (aka "Honeymooners In England") & "You're In The Picture."

The show opens in an Irish bar/hotel lobby in Ireland with a bunch of waiters & waitresses (the June Taylor Dancers) singing: “Hooray For The Irish!” After the song is over, the bartender is talking to a man about how a Kramden is coming to visit. The bartender then tells a story on how the curse of Shammus O’ Toole was formed and it hasn't been broken yet. The village of Dunnelin has been affected greatly by it. Part of the story is that the village is very fond of beer and was prospering because of its great beer until the curse was formed. The curse had a very bad effect on their beer and in turn the village was affected a great deal. They say if a Kramden spends the night in a castle that is the home of the Ghost of Shammus O’ Toole, the curse will be broken. He also tried to put a curse on America, but it didn't work. The mayor comes in with the news that the Kramdens are coming. The Kramdens & Nortons arrive at the bar and all the dancers greet them and sing. The mayor says that he found a Kramden because a Kramden has an eye of an eagle, the heart of a lion and the dignity of a king so he shakes Ed's hand thinking that he is Ralph. Ralph corrects him. Ed: "I only got the tooth of an elk." The girls can't believe the reception they got. The girls want to unpack. Ralph wants the biggest suite there is in he hotel (apparently the bar has a hotel). The bartender/owner: "You can have the Jackie Gleason Suite." Ed hears this and they talk about Jackie. Ralph: "Jackie is a bit pudgy. That Art has put on a few pounds too." Ha! Ed Norton wants a drink called a Hungarian Zombie. He says it is simple to make but it doesn't sound that way when he describes the way you make it. Ralph says that Ed has a little of Irish in him. Man: "Did your mitther come from Ireland?" Ed: "What's a mitther?" Ralph: "He means your mother." Ed: "No, she didn't. Neither did my britther or my sitther. It was my grandfither." Ed brings Ralph into the center of the bar and addresses everyone and says a toast to Ralph but his speech is so long, Ralph yells at him to shut up. After that, the threesome leave as the girls sing and dance.

The next scene opens with the mayor, Ralph & Ed sitting down. Ralph makes a toast to Ireland and says it is the most hospitable country in the world. Ralph sings a song about Ireland It’s called “Hospitality.” Ed joins in. It's a great song. The mayor talks about Ralph's great-great-grandfather and how brave he was. Ed says that Ralph is very brave. He once took on three guys single-handedly at once. Ed: "They murdered Ralph. Of course he had them outweighed by 50 pounds." Ha! They talk about Shammus O' Toole, the famous Irish ghost. The mayor asks if Ralph will spend a night in a castle. Ralph says sure. The mayor: "Tonight you will break the Old Kramden curse by spending the night with a blood-thirsty ghost. He realizes what he agreed to.

At the hotel, Ralph is a nervous wreck. Alice says that it is not necessary and the ghost and curse don't exist. Ralph: "As soon as the curse is broken, they will make beer. I'm not risking myself for beer." Alice: "I bet you would for pizza." Ed comes in with Trixie. Ed: "How's the old ghost catcher? Whooooo!" Ralph isn't amused Trixie talks about the celebration about Ralph being a hero and breaking the curse. The mayor comes in to take Ralph. Ralph is scared, he forces Ed to come. Ed is scared too. The girls and boys break into song called: “You Needn't Fear, We'll Be Waitin' Right Here" It's a great song. After that, the boys leave.

At the castle, the counterfeiters are talking about their evil schemes and they plot how they will scare Ralph and Ed. In other words, they are the “curse”. They leave as Ralph & Ed come in. Ralph: "This isn't the fun and sun capital of the world." A door closes "by itself." The boys are scared. Ed: "Is it true that a ghost can go through a wall." Ralph: "If that happens, you will see me going through that wall." They try to turn on the radio, but a scary show doesn't entertain them. After that, more screams are heard. The boys are even more scared. They try to pretend that they are in the hotel. Ed: "Too bad that it's haunted." They hear a scream. Ed: "Since we are in a hotel, let's check out." They are locked in since they can't get out of the door. They try to go through the window, but it doesn't work. They lay on the bed. Ralph asks Ed for a match, but someone else gives him one (unbeknownst to Ralph) Ralph thanks Ed but Ed tells him that he didn't light it. Uh oh! Ralph hears a scary laugh. Ralph: "Thanks for the light." More scary hi-jinks follow like Ed going through the door (that opened "by itself") on one side of the bed and not coming back. Ralph notices and goes into that door that opened "by itself" and tries to see Norton. Ed comes out on the other side and one of the counterfeiters places a fake cat near the bed. Ed thinks that Ralph is now a cat. Ralph comes out and sees what Ed is doing and tries to convince him that he's not a cat. "Ghost": "I am the Ghost of Shammus O' Toole. If your name is Kramden, beware." Ralph lies down on the bed and from Ed's blindside, the bed moves into the wall and comes back without Ralph. Ed wonders where Ralph is. Ralph comes in and when he sees Ed with a blanket on his head, he gets scared. He immediately sees that it is Norton. They hear a knock on the previously locked door and the door opens with boots walking "by themselves." They try to leave but a "ghost" scares them. The ghost goes into one of the doors. They come to the conclusion that the ghost is in between the two doors on the other side of the wall. They capture the counterfeiters and leave, supposedly breaking the curse.

The next scene opens up with a celebration at the bar/hotel lobby. The Kramdens and Nortons break out into the song Ireland song that Ralph & Ed sung earlier called “Hospitality.” They leave immediately.

At the curtain call, Jackie talks about Miami and coffee. He introduces the cast (Shelia kisses him). After that, the credits roll with the fake palm trees in the background.

Episode #159 (Syndicated episode #6)
TV: Hour (edited)
DVD: Attached to "Curse of The Kramdens" & "You're In The Picture."

The June Taylor Dancers dance and sing: “It's A Changing Of The Guard.” The girls visit Buckingham Palace while the boys are wondering what how much money they should give to the cab driver. Ralph refuses to pay Ed for the cab ride (since Ed paid for it) because he can't figure out English money, so he offers to pay for the bus ride home. They greet the guards. Ed wonders why the guard has such long hair. Ralph talks about Buckingham Palace and Queen Elizabeth and King Phillip. Ed: "I'll bet Phillip has to walk a long distance to take out the garbage." They want to go to Piccadilly’s Circus. They ask a British man but he answers in garbled British. Man: "You can't miss it." They don't understand. Another man comes by them and asks him the same question. Ed answers in garbled British. Ha! Ralph: "How are we going to get there?" Ed: "We will just follow him."

At the hotel, a Mr. Louis (Robert Koot) tries to call Mr. Kramden in a phone booth. They are not in their room. So, he asks the operator to call Ralph. That guy calls, but he gets the owner. The owner says that Ralph has a call. Ralph comes in comes in with Ed. Ralph gets on one of the phones (not knowing that the guy who wants to talk to him is right near him and vice-versa). Hilarious complications ensue. Finally, Mr. Phillips approaches Ralph on doing a Flakey-Wakey commercial. Ralph agrees. Ed thinks it will be a great idea if he plays “Tippy, Tippy, Tin” on his spoon or something like that. Ralph thinks it will be a great idea if they do the commercial just like they do in America. Ed wants to sing "Dooby-dooby-do!" in the commercial. They agree as Ralph offers to get some paper. He will write and direct the commercial. They break out and sing: “Everything Stops For Tea.”

At the hotel room, the girls come in. Alice: "Where's the genius (Ralph)." Ralph: "The scene takes place at Lord Chumley Farmingale, second Earl of Rathbone." He explains the commercial. Ralph is Lord Chumley. Ralph (to Alice): "You are supposed to say: 'Good Morning! My you are fit' and then I say: 'Blimey, you look lovely.'" Alice doesn't know what Blimey means which is ironic when you consider the fact that Shelia was born in England. Ralph mentions some of his lines. Trixie is a maid. Trixie: "I'm not the maid type." Ed: "Yeah, haven't you got the part of an English Bulldog?" Ralph further explains what the commercial will be. Ed tries to guess what his role will be, but he is incorrect. They rehearse. Alice: "My you are fat." Ralph (yells): "THAT'S FIT!" Ed tires to sing: "Doody-doody-do!" Ralph isn't amused. Ed says that he wrote a jingle. So, they go to the piano and Ed does his little preparing job. He warms up on the piano, but not by playing "Swanee River". How about that? Ed's song's lyrics include him singing like he's British and saying thinks like "Flakey-Wakey" and "Pip pip!" After that, Ed says: "Take" like a director and slaps his hands. He somehow hits Ralph.

At the night of the commercial, everyone complains that it's going to be an all-Ralph commercial. Ralph is all-nervous. Ed tries to get him to remember his lines in a somewhat same fashion as in "Ralph's Sweet Tooth." Ralph is even more nervous. The commercial is going to take place during the Gaylord Farquoix Show. The show opens up just like The Jackie Gleason Show in the '60s opened up originally. It even has the same curtain I believe that was used on the Jackie Gleason Show at times. Announcer (probably Johnny Olsen speaking with an English accent): "From London: The Fog and Smog Capital of the World..." The girls introduce the stars of the show much like the Gleason Girls introduced the stars in the opening of the Jackie Gleason Show in the '60s. One of the ladies accidentally messes up and calls “Flakey-Wakey” “Wakey-Flakey.” Gaylord Farquoix (Louie Nye) comes out and introduces his orchestra leader Sir Samuel Spear (Sammy Spear with a Beatles-like wig on.) If you watch this episode on American Life TV, you will notice that Gaylord now all of a sudden has a coffee cup and saucers in his hands. The reason? American Life edited out the part where one of his ladies gave him his coffee cup and saucer.

They introduce us to the commercial. Ralph bombs as everyone helps him out. This is hilarious especially when Ed accidentally pushes the piano of the stair and the piano falls apart. After that, they sing: “Flakey-Wakies, Flakey-Wakies.” They have plugged the "Flakey-Wakey" product badly.

In the hotel, Ralph admits that he made a mistake. Mr. Louis says that people loved the commercial. Everyone is happy. The June Taylor Dancers come out and sing: Hurry On Down, Come To London Town."

At the curtain call, Jackie mentions how he loved working with the guy who played Mr. Lewis. Robert Koot was a real native of London and had to fly out immediately back to England after the show. After that, Jackie introduces the cast as usual

I found out a long time ago that this episode took place exactly eleven years to the day that the episode (which is similar) "Better Living Through TV" took place.

Credit goes to tv.com.