Wednesday's Quotes & Honeymooners TV Schedule (1/30-2/8):

[Frank Gannucci]

(American Life TV):

(AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to watch.)

TV-G

All times are Eastern.

All color episodes are one hour.

Sat. Jan. 30, 2010 2a #1 (aka #154) - "In Twenty-Five Words or Less": Ralph wins the Flakey Wakey trip to Europe for four by entering a slogan contest.

Sun. Jan. 31, 2010 2a #3 (aka #156) - "The Poor People of Paris": Ralph & Ed get a great exchange rate -- on counterfeit money.

3a (also Sat. Feb. 6, 2010 at 2a) #4 (aka #157) - "Confusion Italian Style": Ralph is jealous of Alice's guide, not knowing the guide is a little boy.

Mon. Feb. 1, 2010 2a (also Sun. Feb. 7, 2010 at 2a) #5 (aka #158) - "The Curse of the Kramdens": Ralph & Ed have to spend the night in the ancestral Kramden castle, which has its very own ghost.

3a (also Sun. Feb. 7, 2010 at 3a) #6 (aka #159) – “The Mod Couple” (aka "The Honeymooners in England"): The Kramdens & Nortons appear in a Flakey Wakey commercial on an English TV show. Ralph makes a fool of himself and Ed accidentally overturns a piano. The Kramdens flee London in shame but are invited back because the audience loved the commercial.

Mon. Feb. 7, 2010 2a #7 (aka #160) - "You're in the Picture":* Blackmailers fake a hanky-panky photo of Ralph in Madrid, and for once, Alice is jealous.

3a #8 (also #161) - "We Spy": Ralph and Ed wander onto a Russian firing range while visiting Germany and are mistaken for spies.

(WPIX) & (WPIXD) [aka New York feed of CWHD]:

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.

Mon. Feb. 1, 2010 1a #022 (aka #113) - "Here Comes The Bride": On the eve of his lodge brother Stanle y's marriage to Alice's sister, Ralph---the self-proclaimed "king of [his] castle"---gives his future brother-in-law marital advice. Furious that Stanley has agreed to live with Alice's parents, Ralph instructs him to put his foot down. "I don't want to argue," he tells Ralph, prompting Norton to reply: "If you don't want to argue, what are you getting married for?"

1:30a #032 (aka #129) - "Dial J For Janitor": Ralph can't seem to pipe down about the failures of his building's janitor. Then he finds out that the position pays $150 a month with free rent---and decides to take the job himself. Now the most gripes are coming from Norton, who says he hasn't had water in his apartment for so long that he's beginning to "see mirages." Mr. Johnson: Luis Van Rooten. Mrs. Manicotti: Zamah Cunningham.

Mon. Feb. 8, 2010 1a #009 (aka #100) - "Brother Ralph": A layoff at the bus company prompts Ralph and Alice to add up their total savings from all of their accounts ($12.83). That's reason enough for Alice to get a job, leaving Ralph to take care of the cooking and cleaning. But Ralph becomes really steamed after he discovers that her boss looks like a matinee idol---and that Alice told him that Ralph is her brother.

1:30a #030 (aka #121) - "The Loudspeaker": Ralph thinks he'll be named Raccoon of the Year,20so he begins writing his acceptance speech (if he could only get rid of his hiccups). It's a very distinctive honor, he reminds the skeptical Alice, because it entitles the two of them to "free burial privileges in the Raccoons' national cemetery in Bismarck, North Dakota."

Credit goes to tvland.com (when they had the Honeymooners), zap2it.com, the old honeymooners.net, & tvguide.com.

"Stars Over Flatbush":

Ed: "I was born under the sign of Pieces The Fish."

Ralph: "You were born under the sign of Pistachio The Nut."

"Stars Over Flatbush":

Ralph: "Since I found out that I am Taurus The Bull, I have become a new man."

Alice: "You may be a new man but it's the same old bull."

"This Is Your Life Part 1":

Ralph: "14 years, I have fractured myself driving a bus, just to take care of her. All ofa sudden today, I see her coming out of a restuarant and go into a cab with another guy. That's loyalty for you."

Ed: "The least she could have done was take a bus."

"The Safety Award":

Ed: "Somebody down at the bus depot had an idead for a plaque to put on Ralph's bus that says: 'You are now driving with the World's Safest Bus Driver: Ralph Kramden.'"

Alice: "Oh, a plaque like that. I like that. Ed, you can tell me, who thought of the idea?"

Ed: "Ralph."

"The Safety Award":

Ralph: "You got to talk Trixie into taking that dress off."

Ed: "I am too young to die."

"The Worry Wart":

Alice: "Ralph, you are not the first person to be investigated."

Ed: "She's right. The jails are full of them."

"You're In The Picture":

Ed: "I must be losing my mind."

Trixie: "How could you lose something you never had?"

"You're In The Picture":

(Alice seeing a photo of a woman kissing Ralph, jumps to the conclusion that Ralph is seeing another woman. Ralph tries to tell her that the woman is a blackmailer and much to Ralph's chagrin, she forced herself on him, but to no avail. A policeman comes and explains that the woman in the picture is a blackmailer and reveals the fact that what Ralph said was true.)

Alice: "Forgive me Ralph."

Ralph: "Not yet, I want to enjoy this for a while."

"We Spy":

Interrorgator: "What were you two doing in the Russian firing range?"

Ed: "I don't have to tell you anything. Because of the Geneva conventions, all I have to do is tell you my name, address & social security number."