Open letter to Jay Leno

[Zoneboy]

Open letter to Jay Leno
By Joseph Froemming

Opinions Editor

Published: Sunday, January 24, 2010

Link

Well, I must congratulate you on getting your old job back from someone who is vastly more talented and funnier than you. When you announced years ago that Conan O’Brian would be your successor, I was glad. I would watch “The Colbert Report” while you were on, and then wait a while until “Late Night with Conan O’Brien” came on.

Yet, like a tick sucking the life blood out of NBC, you got a variety show! While it seemed like a well deserved and cut down version of the stink hole you made of the “Tonight Show,” it was still unbearable. Why? People who watch prime-time TV are not geriatrics who finds mediocre humor at best worthwhile. Your show was cancelled, despite the fact every prime-time show, sans “Lost” is crap.

So, in your epic failure, somehow you got NBC to give you your old time-slot back, but not call it the “Tonight Show.” And, in the process, pushed back Conan’s “Tonight Show” back, something unprecedented in the program’s history. But Conan fought back, and eventually gave up. You may not understand why, but you obviously don’t understand the concept of “not-ruining-your-legacy.” To be fair, you never had a legacy to lose.

While you’re at it, why not stop at Johnny Carson’s grave and piss all over it.

So, in a battle that resembled the time you somehow screwed David Letterman out of hosting the “Tonight Show,” (the guy Johnny Carson asked to replace him) you have effectively hijacked the show from Conan O’Brien like you are George W. Bush circa November 2000.

Now you got your old job back. Congratulations! Did Karl Rove help you out, or was it your pure evilness?

I admire your self-serving ways. You demand something you never deserved back after you gave it up and failed horribly outside the “Tonight Show.” If I believed in Satan, that would be the only explanation that would make sense in this mess.

I guess it stung when O’Brien took over and actually made the “Tonight Show” funny and entertaining. While you used the same stale jokes for nearly two decades, O’Brien at least had new jokes and skits. Granted, he has used some skits for nearly two decades as well, the difference is that they are funny, a concept I sometimes feel you do not understand.

So O’Brien didn’t have the ratings you once held. Yet, you didn’t have the ratings Carson once held either. Yet, your “variety” show’s ratings were slightly better than Jimmy Fallon’s, and he’s on when infomercials begin.

Oh, finally people can get the goofy headlines segment back; or watch you embarrass people on the street with questions you would also not know except your writers tell you ahead of time. Oh, and your monologues that even the audience barely chuckle at will return. You’ll probably explain how it was NBC and not you who bent Conan over like he was in prison.

Now NBC has lost one of their greatest writers/hosts because a mediocre hack like you, who wanted his old job back. But Americans want mediocre crap after the news, they want to sit and not think and occasionally chuckle at some redundant statement you make.

See, people do not want quality humor; that’s why “Friends” lasted a decade and “Arrested Development” barely made three seasons. You are that uninspired thing the people need.

I honestly can say I never laughed at one joke you made. I tried to watch you, but I could not help but feel my intelligence was being insulted by you. Conan would fix that with the Masturbating Bear after your show ended, and I found that joke funny only once.

But when someone lowers the bar like you, I guess even watching someone fart in a bathtub is more entertaining. But I admit, you’re one step above watching paint dry on a comedic level.

You are to comedy what George W. Bush was to being president. Both do the bare minimum, both somewhere between awful and mediocre and both are depressingly selfish and cruel. At least Bush earned his second time around. And he cared about the genocide in Darfur; you probably made some stupid joke about that.

But you have balls. Balls bigger than your chin, I would bet. You have made a mockery of a classic staple in television history and have no qualms about that. They say a trait in a sociopath is the inability not to know the difference between right and wrong. A character trait that serial killer Ted Bundy didn’t even have!

I hope you don’t force that guy who plays guitar on your show to continue to pretend he thinks you’re funny. That was perhaps the most painful aspect of your show. It is obviously forced and I’ve wondered how much more you pay him to lie to the American people.

I never thought someone could one-up Bret Favre in being the biggest ******* on earth, but you did it. You did it in just a couple of weeks. If Favre gets Minnesota a Super Bowl championship, he will still be dwarfed by what you have done.

If NBC stays on this track you have set, then they will probably get rid of “The Office” and replace it with another “Law & Order” spin-off. Because you have made the network that much idiotic, they probably will. NBC is officially the network were failure goes to die, thanks to you.

Well, don’t let the backlash get to you. Sure, people will boo you and your ratings will be piss poor at first when you return to the “Tonight Show.” Just remember, they will forget about this after a while and soon your painfully awful humor will be back again.

Screw you,
Joseph Froemming

[Schmoopie]

Gee, ya think this guy is upset? I for one like Jay Leno and Connan. I like Jay Leno a little more, but I don't think either of them are really out to battle against the other one. I thought it was very classy of Jay to have Connan on his "last" show as a guest. I'm sure this taunting letter isn't going to cause Leno the grief that this guy is hoping for. In fact, I'm sure Leno has better things to do with this time than to listen to morons like this. Connan too, for that matter.

[catlover79]

^ Agreed. I like both Jay and Conan, but I always thought Jay was the better fit for the Tonight Show and Conan the better fit for Late Night. This "open letter" should really be to TIIC at NBC, who screwed up the whole thing.

[TeeVeeCloset]

Originally Posted by Schmoopie

Gee, ya think this guy is upset? I for one like Jay Leno and Connan. I like Jay Leno a little more, but I don't think either of them are really out to battle against the other one. I thought it was very classy of Jay to have Connan on his "last" show as a guest. I'm sure this taunting letter isn't going to cause Leno the grief that this guy is hoping for. In fact, I'm sure Leno has better things to do with this time than to listen to morons like this. Connan too, for that matter.

Maybe just making up for one of the most disgusting errors in judgement in television history when Leno listened to his then (now late manager) when she demanded he didn't reference or thank Johnny Carson on his first show as host of "The Tonight Show".....

[catlover79]

Originally Posted by TeeVeeCloset

Maybe just making up for one of the most disgusting errors in judgement in television history when Leno listened to his then (now late manager) when she demanded he didn't reference or thank Johnny Carson on his first show as host of "The Tonight Show".....

Ah yes - Helen Kushnick. To this day, Jay refuses to talk about her (at least publicly).

[comedyfreak]

Should have been sent to

3000 West Alameda
Burbank, ca. 91523

[rodwayne]

I agree with you 100%!JAY LENO is mediocre at best;his jokes barely funny;really,just cruel and mean.But what did you respect from a gutless network;to say that CONAN O'BRIEN keeps TONIGHT SHOW and he would either have to like it or lump it?!?This is the same network that I beleive that push out JOHNNY CARSON,and he were an icon!They should have known that this wasn't going to work out,and not try cute tricks like this,but when you have brainless idoits runnung the networks,you get brainless results.

[HuntingtonM15]

I'm sick of all this whining. Someone needs to give the guy a rattle.

[catlover79]

Originally Posted by HuntingtonM15

I'm sick of all this whining. Someone needs to give the guy a rattle.

[catlover79]

Originally Posted by HuntingtonM15

I'm sick of all this whining. Someone needs to give the guy a rattle.

Michael, he doesn't need a rattle - THIS is what this guy needs:

[HuntingtonM15]

Originally Posted by catlover79

Michael, he doesn't need a rattle - THIS is what this guy needs:

That couldn't be anymore appropriate for him!

[catlover79]

Originally Posted by HuntingtonM15

That couldn't be anymore appropriate for him!

Hey, the truth hurts.

[lucyandethel]

I don't think it is fair to blame Leno. I think he got screwed royally in this whole thing. NBC sold Leno up the river, a guy who consistently beat Letterman in the ratings. So, NBC screwed both Leno and O'Brien. They lost O'Brien and Leno will probably suffer from this long-term. NBC should have never did what it did to either Leno or O'Brien so put the blame where it is deserved.

[MariposaLKB]

^

[catlover79]

Originally Posted by lucyandethel

I don't think it is fair to blame Leno. I think he got screwed royally in this whole thing. NBC sold Leno up the river, a guy who consistently beat Letterman in the ratings. So, NBC screwed both Leno and O'Brien. They lost O'Brien and Leno will probably suffer from this long-term. NBC should have never did what it did to either Leno or O'Brien so put the blame where it is deserved.

My feelings exactly!!