Friday's Quotes:

[Frank Gannucci]

"Man In The Blue Suit":

Ed: "Hide the money under the rug."

Ralph: "We don't have a rug."

Ed: "Take the $73 that you won and go otu and by a rug. That way, you will have a place to hide it."

Ralph: "Would you mind repeating that?"

Ed: "Take the money that you won from playing cards, go out and buy a rug...and you can hide it in the ice box."

"The Babysitter":

Ralph: "The bills will get bigger and bigger and I will get less to eat, I will start losing weight. Then do you know what I will look like?"

Alice: "Yeah. A human being."

"The Babysitter":

Ralph: "Norton, I don't want to lose Alice."

(Ralph leaves. Ed eats Ralph's dinner.)

Ed: "I hope he doesn't lose her too. She is such a good cook."

"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Head of The House"):

Ralph: "I am a horse. You are a mouse."

Ed: "Well, let me say this. I rather be a live mouse than a dead horse."

"Goodbye Aunt Ethel Part 1":

Alice: "My Aunt Ethel is coming."

Ralph: "There you are. I am not steamed. I am not excited. I am just as calm as when I walked in that door and do you know why?" (yells): "BECAUSE YOUR AUNT ALICE ISN'T COMING HERE."

"A Weighty Problem Part 1":

Ralph: "I am four pounds underweight. It says so in the chart."

Alice: "You must have been looking at a chart for a hippo."

"Hawaii! Oh! Oh!":

Alice: "The doctor says that you have to take off at least 10 pounds."

Ralph: "Let me eat today and tomorrow, I will take off 20 pounds."

"Hawaii! Oh! Oh!":

Ralph: "I have a weight problem. I came down to 220."

Ed: "That is his room number. He came down from 280."

"The Match Game":

Prof. Vansickle (played by a woman named Frances Langford): "I am Prof. Vansickle."

Ed: "Pleased to meet you sir."