Friday's Quotes & a Honeymooners M.LK. Day Skit:

[Frank Gannucci]

(Ralph Kramden is walking the street with Ed Norton.)

Ed: "Hey Ralph, I can't believe that it's going to be Martin Luther King Day already. It seems like yesterday, we celebrated the New Year."

Ralph: "Yes. Last year, I said that Martin would approve of Barack Obama becoming President. I wonder what he thinks of Barack now."

Ed: "Yeah, the Gallop polls show that his polls are being hit."

Ralph: "I was on the bus yesterday and a black man told me that he wished Martin wasn't assainated. When he was, there were a million riots. That shows you how much people loved Martin."

Ed: "Yeah, he was a King."

Ralph: "I am so glad that a man liked Martin stood up for what he believed in. He had a dream. He wanted to end segregation. He wanted places like libraries, schools to be open for all people regardless of their skin color."

Ed: "If it wasn't for him, my sewer would have a rule saying: 'Only blacks can work down here.'"

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ralph: "We take for granted that we no longer have places like that. For that, we can all be grateful to Martin. He was a good one."

Ed: "He was one sweet kid."

Ralph: "I wonder if he were still alive, would Barack wouldn't be the first black President?"

Ed: "Change may have come to America forty-plus years ago."

Ralph: "Yeah, you are right."

(They both sing a song about Martin Luther King.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT."

(Audience cheers.)

"Young At Heart":

Ralph: "How am I supposed to waddle like a duck?"

Ed: "It's easy. Just walk like you always do."

"The Safety Award":

Ed: "Can I use this hankerchef?"

Ralph: "It's one of my new ones. Remember, it's for showin', not blowin'."

"Unconventional Behavior":

Ed: "Remember last year at the convention when the cops were cracking down on all the people dropping water bags out of the hotel window? That didn't bother me, I just threw mine out of the window."

Ralph: "What happened?"

Ed: "I almost drowned. The window was closed."

"Cupid Part 1":

Ralph (to Herman): "You are easy going. You are considerate. Now what woman would want that?"

Ed: "How about Alice?"

"Vacation At Fred's Landing":

Ralph: "I see that you are dressed for the fishing vaction."

Ed: "No, I just got through working in the sewer."

"Vacation At Fred's Landing":

Alice: "I am not going to Fred's Landing."

Ralph: "Don't go."

Alice: "I wouldn't give you the satisfaction."

"Without Reservations":

Ralph: "I don't mind if Stanley eats like a garbage disposal, I just don't want him to sound like one."

Alice: "He has false teeth."

Ralph: "I know why. He wore out his real ones eating."

"Without Reservations":

Ralph: "We don't have to fix this hotel until the highway is built.

Trixie: "I think it would be easier if we built the highway and the other people who were going to build the highway to cleanup the hotel."

"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":

(Ed is getting a suntan. He wraps foli around his neck.)

Ralph: "What is the foil for?"

Ed: "To prevent the soot from the chimney from getting on my vest.

Ralph: "It would be a shame to get that vest dirty after working in the sewer all day."