"Fathers and Daughters": Required Viewing For All Parents - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

robmic · 01-05-2010, 02:23 AM

I think "Fathers and Daughters" was indeed one of the best episodes of the series. It may be my very favorite. Most sitcoms are unrealistic and cheesy. Even some of the Roseanne episodes are, but this one was very real and true to life. I'm not one of these who thinks you can learn everything from T.V., BUT- sometimes T.V. can reflect reality, can demonstrate reality, and can speak to reality. This is a particular episode that does. It's so well done that it's like you are watching a real family.

In real families across the country parents tend to favor one child over the other. In most instances, the parent does this innocently and doesn't even realize what they are doing. It usually doesn't mean that they love one child more than the other, but that they simply relate to one child more than the other. They have the same interests and personality as their "favorite" child.

This was the case with Dan and Darlene. They had the same interests and enjoyed time together. They were on the same wavelength. Both liked sports, outdoor activities, working on things, etc. They were best buddies. Also, neither Dan or Darlene were good at talking about their feelings. They preferred to keep them in. Talking about emotions made them uncomfortable. They had them, same as Roseanne and Becky, but Dan and Darlene couldn't express them in the same way.

Likewise, Roseanne and Becky had similar interests and personality. They liked shopping at the mall, talking about fashion, talking about relationships, etc. Plus, they had no problems talking about how something made them feel. They didn't hold it inside, and they could talk to one another about their emotions.

It didn't mean that Dan loved Darlene more, or that Roseanne loved Becky more. They loved each child equally, and the episode was so great because it showed that in the end each daughter knew that. No, Dan didn't stop relating to Darlene more or Roseanne to Becky more, but both girls knew both parents loved them and cared. Becky knew Dan was bored out of his mind shopping, but she appreciated that he went with her. Darlene, in her own way, appreciated that Roseanne sat down and watched the game with her even though Roseanne didn't know squat about sports. Of course I think she'd rather have had Dan with her just as Becky had rather Roseanne be with her at the mall. Still, things were sit right between parents and kids.

That episode demonstrates how important it is to make sure you show your kids attention when you have more than one. Sometimes the kid may think that a parent loves one child more, and that is so sad. Sadly, my sister feels that way about our father. I am 30, and she is 27. All our lives my father has favored me because, like Dan and Darlene, we have the same interests, personality, and feel the same about things. My sister and my father are like the difference between night and day. They have nothing in common. Over the years, he has asked me to do things with him while he has totally passed up my sister as if she isn't even there. In fact, over the holidays my father and I watched our favorite dvds together. We like cop shows so we were watching Law and Order SVU. My father never once asked my sister to join us, and she never got to watch T.V. Of course she could care less about Law and Order and doesn't even like T.V. in general too much. Still, she expressed to me that she was incredibly hurt that she wasn't even asked. Oh man, that Roseanne episode was so true to life!! They nailed that right on the dot.

It breaks my heart to see the pain in my sister's eyes. I tried to explain that it's not that our father loves me more, but that we have more in common. I don't doubt that my father loves my sister as much as me. My father doesn't even realize what he's done all these years. Sadly, neither did I until my sister told me how she felt over the holidays. I tried to include my sister in my father and my activities, but she didn't join us. Again, she didn't want to do the activities. She just wanted to be asked and made to feel like she mattered. Now that we're grown women I don't see any repairs being made unfortunately. If only our mother had realized years ago like Roseanne did.

My sister and my mother have more in common and have a great relationship. I have a good relationship with my mother too even though we have less in common. My mother has been good that way, to give us each equal attention and not favor one over the other. I praise her for that.

I truly think the Roseanne episode "Fathers and Daughters" should be required viewing for all parents. Sometimes T.V. can be used as a tool for learning. A few years back my church used episodes of The Andy Griffith Show in it's Bible School lessons. The class would watch an episode and then talk about what can be learned from it. If they ever did that with Roseanne, "Fathers and Daughters" should be at the top of the list.

Lexi · 01-28-2010, 10:30 AM

Great post. I agree, one of the best things about this show was that it didn't sugarcoat family life. It was realistic and gritty, and people liked it because they could relate. This episode was very good at exploring the favoritism some parents show to their kids.

Hughsgirl · 02-11-2010, 11:18 AM

Yes, very good post and though I won't take the time to type it all, I can relate to your sister, but that's why I'm close to my uncles. Now my dad wonders why I'm always with one of my uncles instead of him. My, how the tables have turned. I told my dad that I don't care to sit and watch him while he watches TV...that's all the man does, even in nice weather! I basically informed him that he missed all those years with me and we have nothing in common and now I'm an adult and he can't get it back.

ShamelessFanGirl · 12-21-2011, 10:46 AM

Speaking as a daughter myself I can really relate to what Becky went through in this episode. For many years growing up I wanted so much to be close to my father but knew that it was impossible because my main interests as a kid were cartoons and art and his was sports and music two things that I didn't know that much about. However, it wasn't until I finally became an adult that my father and I started spending time together and getting to know one another for the first time. In the end I found that actually we have a few things in common with each other, I actually have more in common with him than I do with my mother. I am close to her too, we share some of the same thoughts about things, but then there are other things that we don't agree on that makes us occasionally butt heads but that is normal between mothers and daughters I suppose.

01-05-2010, 02:23 AM	#1
robmic Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Nov 21, 2009 Posts: 61	"Fathers and Daughters": Required Viewing For All Parents I think "Fathers and Daughters" was indeed one of the best episodes of the series. It may be my very favorite. Most sitcoms are unrealistic and cheesy. Even some of the Roseanne episodes are, but this one was very real and true to life. I'm not one of these who thinks you can learn everything from T.V., BUT- sometimes T.V. can reflect reality, can demonstrate reality, and can speak to reality. This is a particular episode that does. It's so well done that it's like you are watching a real family. In real families across the country parents tend to favor one child over the other. In most instances, the parent does this innocently and doesn't even realize what they are doing. It usually doesn't mean that they love one child more than the other, but that they simply relate to one child more than the other. They have the same interests and personality as their "favorite" child. This was the case with Dan and Darlene. They had the same interests and enjoyed time together. They were on the same wavelength. Both liked sports, outdoor activities, working on things, etc. They were best buddies. Also, neither Dan or Darlene were good at talking about their feelings. They preferred to keep them in. Talking about emotions made them uncomfortable. They had them, same as Roseanne and Becky, but Dan and Darlene couldn't express them in the same way. Likewise, Roseanne and Becky had similar interests and personality. They liked shopping at the mall, talking about fashion, talking about relationships, etc. Plus, they had no problems talking about how something made them feel. They didn't hold it inside, and they could talk to one another about their emotions. It didn't mean that Dan loved Darlene more, or that Roseanne loved Becky more. They loved each child equally, and the episode was so great because it showed that in the end each daughter knew that. No, Dan didn't stop relating to Darlene more or Roseanne to Becky more, but both girls knew both parents loved them and cared. Becky knew Dan was bored out of his mind shopping, but she appreciated that he went with her. Darlene, in her own way, appreciated that Roseanne sat down and watched the game with her even though Roseanne didn't know squat about sports. Of course I think she'd rather have had Dan with her just as Becky had rather Roseanne be with her at the mall. Still, things were sit right between parents and kids. That episode demonstrates how important it is to make sure you show your kids attention when you have more than one. Sometimes the kid may think that a parent loves one child more, and that is so sad. Sadly, my sister feels that way about our father. I am 30, and she is 27. All our lives my father has favored me because, like Dan and Darlene, we have the same interests, personality, and feel the same about things. My sister and my father are like the difference between night and day. They have nothing in common. Over the years, he has asked me to do things with him while he has totally passed up my sister as if she isn't even there. In fact, over the holidays my father and I watched our favorite dvds together. We like cop shows so we were watching Law and Order SVU. My father never once asked my sister to join us, and she never got to watch T.V. Of course she could care less about Law and Order and doesn't even like T.V. in general too much. Still, she expressed to me that she was incredibly hurt that she wasn't even asked. Oh man, that Roseanne episode was so true to life!! They nailed that right on the dot. It breaks my heart to see the pain in my sister's eyes. I tried to explain that it's not that our father loves me more, but that we have more in common. I don't doubt that my father loves my sister as much as me. My father doesn't even realize what he's done all these years. Sadly, neither did I until my sister told me how she felt over the holidays. I tried to include my sister in my father and my activities, but she didn't join us. Again, she didn't want to do the activities. She just wanted to be asked and made to feel like she mattered. Now that we're grown women I don't see any repairs being made unfortunately. If only our mother had realized years ago like Roseanne did. My sister and my mother have more in common and have a great relationship. I have a good relationship with my mother too even though we have less in common. My mother has been good that way, to give us each equal attention and not favor one over the other. I praise her for that. I truly think the Roseanne episode "Fathers and Daughters" should be required viewing for all parents. Sometimes T.V. can be used as a tool for learning. A few years back my church used episodes of The Andy Griffith Show in it's Bible School lessons. The class would watch an episode and then talk about what can be learned from it. If they ever did that with Roseanne, "Fathers and Daughters" should be at the top of the list.

01-28-2010, 10:30 AM	#2
Lexi Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Jan 28, 2010 Posts: 5	Great post. I agree, one of the best things about this show was that it didn't sugarcoat family life. It was realistic and gritty, and people liked it because they could relate. This episode was very good at exploring the favoritism some parents show to their kids.

02-11-2010, 11:18 AM	#3
Hughsgirl Member Forum Regular Join Date: Sep 22, 2008 Location: Michigan Posts: 804	Yes, very good post and though I won't take the time to type it all, I can relate to your sister, but that's why I'm close to my uncles. Now my dad wonders why I'm always with one of my uncles instead of him. My, how the tables have turned. I told my dad that I don't care to sit and watch him while he watches TV...that's all the man does, even in nice weather! I basically informed him that he missed all those years with me and we have nothing in common and now I'm an adult and he can't get it back.

12-21-2011, 10:46 AM	#4
ShamelessFanGirl Great Power and Resposbility Forum Regular Join Date: Jul 16, 2011 Location: Kentucky, USA Posts: 581	Speaking as a daughter myself I can really relate to what Becky went through in this episode. For many years growing up I wanted so much to be close to my father but knew that it was impossible because my main interests as a kid were cartoons and art and his was sports and music two things that I didn't know that much about. However, it wasn't until I finally became an adult that my father and I started spending time together and getting to know one another for the first time. In the end I found that actually we have a few things in common with each other, I actually have more in common with him than I do with my mother. I am close to her too, we share some of the same thoughts about things, but then there are other things that we don't agree on that makes us occasionally butt heads but that is normal between mothers and daughters I suppose.