Heard some very upsetting news today.... - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Schmoopie · 12-21-2009, 12:27 AM

I don't usually post stuff like this, just because although I do think of myself as a very caring person, to read posts about others sadness upsets me. However, I didn't want to put this in the complaint department.

You guys might remember my talking about a friend of mine that I met through a purchase we bought at our local jewelery store. I'm sure I posted about this guy more than once!

Anyway, we went up to the mall to give him his Christmas present this afternoon. It was really busy in the store and although we weren't there to buy anything at all, he took the time to chat with us (as did the other amazing employees) for a while-about 30 minutes, actually.

Anyway, he looked pretty upset and he voluntarily told me that his mom went for a checkup recently and they found something on her lung. From what he tells me, she is a longtime smoker. I don't know how old she is, but I don't think it's much older I am. I'm 42, so I'm guessing she is in her 50's... maybe early 60's but I don't think so.

I didn't really think much of it at the time, but now it really upsets me. He is very close to his mom and I guess she has moved in with him (which I didn't know until today). He said she has no health insurance or money and he's trying to get her on DSHS assistance.

I am completely against smoking and always will be. I have never smoked in my life but I can see how it would be terribly hard to quit. In the past 3 years, I have lost three people to smoking. My stepdad died on New Years Eve, 2006 of respiratory failure. My aunt died six days later of lung cancer and the head of our office, a wonderful and really funny guy, died in February of 2008, just before his 50th birthday. All from smoking.

My friend is totally against smoking as well, and he's tried like crazy to get his mom to stop. He said that on Wednesday they are going for a consultation and have been refered to specialists in Seattle. I've never even seen a picture of this woman, but the thought of losing another person (even indirectly) to smoking just devestates me. I don't even want to think of what it will do to him. He's only 29, and I know what that's like, losing a parent at a young age. My dad died in 1992, when I was 25.

What really ticks me off about all this is why do these things ALWAYS happen around the holidays? Not that there's ever a good time, but it seems like Christmas time makes it worse.

I didn't post this to gain sympathy, but rather to get my feelings out. I hate keeping things bottled up. Right now I feel like crying, Im so upset and worried about my friend's mom (and him for that matter).

Andrea

catlover79 · 12-21-2009, 12:35 AM

I'm so sorry, Andrea...God bless you and this family.

Nighthawk76 · 12-21-2009, 12:47 AM

I'm very sorry to hear this, Andrea.

steevo · 12-21-2009, 07:14 PM

I'm sorry to hear this, Andrea. Praying for you and this person's family.

Schmoopie · 12-22-2009, 03:13 AM

Thanks for the responses. They mean a lot to me. I had a hard time sleeping last night because of this and I've been thinking about this all day long. I'm sure I'll be a basket case until Wednesday because that's when they have the consultation. I thought about calling my friend at work and leaving a VM just to say I am thinking about him. However, that gets kind of tricky when it's a guy. I don't want it to come across as a romantic interest sort of thing. I also considered sending him a card. The mall is about 15 minutes from our house, but we've mailed him stuff before at work. I can't help but think he would do the same thing for us in the same situation.

My husband isn't taking this hard like I am. To put it lightly, let's just say that he's a LOT closer to my mom than to his mom. But my mom has breast cancer so I feel like I have a connection to my friend in more ways than one.

ponytail · 12-22-2009, 06:37 AM

Sorry to hear about your friend's mom. That is scary. My grandpa and uncle were smokers and both had lung problems for many years. They both are gone now. I worry about my brother, he smokes too much. I'm like you, I have never smoked.

And speaking of bad things happening around Christmas time, my dad passed away 15 days before Christmas 7 years ago.

Pitooey · 12-22-2009, 10:24 AM

I am sorry for your feelings.

Alot of these things happening are out of our control. Life is hard and we all have to put on a shield because life gives us so many punches.

We all die... so (personally) I try not to analyze the why's and how's.

Look at what happen to Brittany Murphy? Death comes out of nowhere sometimes.

The lady chose to smoke. I use to smoke and knew the dangers and I still did it. I think I did it because it was a darn habit that was so hard to quit. I tried (at the time) to be cool. I would send this person a card acknowledging that you'll be there if he ever needs to speak to you. He needs people now more than ever.

Warm & Fuzzy · 12-23-2009, 03:29 PM

It's okay to cry. I'm glad you shared. I hope everything turns out alright.

spunkygirl · 12-23-2009, 06:17 PM

Sorry to hear that

I'm totally against smoking, I hate it with a passion. I'll NEVER understand why people want to smoke, I know I want to live a long life and I know with smoking the odds of that happening are slim to none

OH Nuts! · 12-23-2009, 11:15 PM

Andrea, I'm hoping for the best for your friend and his mom. Some spots are benign - its quite possible. Did she have any symptoms (coughing, tightness, etc.) if not - that's probably a good sign. I'm praying for them. Have a nice XMAS Andrea (as nice as you can, given the circumstances)

12-21-2009, 12:27 AM	#1
Schmoopie Keep Calm and Love Snoopy Forum Star Join Date: Jul 13, 2008 Location: Lynnwood, Washington Posts: 15,697	Heard some very upsetting news today.... I don't usually post stuff like this, just because although I do think of myself as a very caring person, to read posts about others sadness upsets me. However, I didn't want to put this in the complaint department. You guys might remember my talking about a friend of mine that I met through a purchase we bought at our local jewelery store. I'm sure I posted about this guy more than once! Anyway, we went up to the mall to give him his Christmas present this afternoon. It was really busy in the store and although we weren't there to buy anything at all, he took the time to chat with us (as did the other amazing employees) for a while-about 30 minutes, actually. Anyway, he looked pretty upset and he voluntarily told me that his mom went for a checkup recently and they found something on her lung. From what he tells me, she is a longtime smoker. I don't know how old she is, but I don't think it's much older I am. I'm 42, so I'm guessing she is in her 50's... maybe early 60's but I don't think so. I didn't really think much of it at the time, but now it really upsets me. He is very close to his mom and I guess she has moved in with him (which I didn't know until today). He said she has no health insurance or money and he's trying to get her on DSHS assistance. I am completely against smoking and always will be. I have never smoked in my life but I can see how it would be terribly hard to quit. In the past 3 years, I have lost three people to smoking. My stepdad died on New Years Eve, 2006 of respiratory failure. My aunt died six days later of lung cancer and the head of our office, a wonderful and really funny guy, died in February of 2008, just before his 50th birthday. All from smoking. My friend is totally against smoking as well, and he's tried like crazy to get his mom to stop. He said that on Wednesday they are going for a consultation and have been refered to specialists in Seattle. I've never even seen a picture of this woman, but the thought of losing another person (even indirectly) to smoking just devestates me. I don't even want to think of what it will do to him. He's only 29, and I know what that's like, losing a parent at a young age. My dad died in 1992, when I was 25. What really ticks me off about all this is why do these things ALWAYS happen around the holidays? Not that there's ever a good time, but it seems like Christmas time makes it worse. I didn't post this to gain sympathy, but rather to get my feelings out. I hate keeping things bottled up. Right now I feel like crying, Im so upset and worried about my friend's mom (and him for that matter). Andrea
	__________________ In memory of my wonderful husband. I love and miss you more than words can say, but I will always and forever keep you in my heart. September 23, 1961-January 14, 2019

12-21-2009, 12:35 AM	#2
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,392	I'm so sorry, Andrea...God bless you and this family.
	__________________ "Jesus loves you and He approves this message." "I'm alive. I'm feeling good. I'm trying to live every moment as much as I can." - Valerie Harper, March 2013

12-21-2009, 07:14 PM	#4
steevo It is Green Senior Member Join Date: Dec 28, 2008 Location: Connecticut Posts: 1,476	I'm sorry to hear this, Andrea. Praying for you and this person's family.
	__________________ "God be gracious to us and bless us..." Psalm 67:1

12-22-2009, 10:24 AM	#7
Pitooey Member Forum Star Join Date: Feb 15, 2001 Location: Rocking in Transylvania. Posts: 15,042	I am sorry for your feelings. Alot of these things happening are out of our control. Life is hard and we all have to put on a shield because life gives us so many punches. We all die... so (personally) I try not to analyze the why's and how's. Look at what happen to Brittany Murphy? Death comes out of nowhere sometimes. The lady chose to smoke. I use to smoke and knew the dangers and I still did it. I think I did it because it was a darn habit that was so hard to quit. I tried (at the time) to be cool. I would send this person a card acknowledging that you'll be there if he ever needs to speak to you. He needs people now more than ever.
	__________________ Pitooey... AKA JennyLee - I love the Monkees all over again! *SAY NO TO DRUGS* Jesus saves...

12-23-2009, 03:29 PM	#8
Warm & Fuzzy Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Feb 02, 2001 Posts: 10,254	It's okay to cry. I'm glad you shared. I hope everything turns out alright.
	__________________ "To the world, you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world." ~Unknown

12-21-2009, 12:47 AM	#3
Nighthawk76 Rachel Berry Forum Celebrity Join Date: Feb 28, 2003 Location: Illinois Posts: 23,254	I'm very sorry to hear this, Andrea.

12-22-2009, 03:13 AM	#5
Schmoopie Keep Calm and Love Snoopy Forum Star Join Date: Jul 13, 2008 Location: Lynnwood, Washington Posts: 15,697	Thanks for the responses. They mean a lot to me. I had a hard time sleeping last night because of this and I've been thinking about this all day long. I'm sure I'll be a basket case until Wednesday because that's when they have the consultation. I thought about calling my friend at work and leaving a VM just to say I am thinking about him. However, that gets kind of tricky when it's a guy. I don't want it to come across as a romantic interest sort of thing. I also considered sending him a card. The mall is about 15 minutes from our house, but we've mailed him stuff before at work. I can't help but think he would do the same thing for us in the same situation. My husband isn't taking this hard like I am. To put it lightly, let's just say that he's a LOT closer to my mom than to his mom. But my mom has breast cancer so I feel like I have a connection to my friend in more ways than one.

12-22-2009, 06:37 AM	#6
ponytail Member Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 20, 2004 Location: In Happy, Healthy, Wealthyville Posts: 4,273	Sorry to hear about your friend's mom. That is scary. My grandpa and uncle were smokers and both had lung problems for many years. They both are gone now. I worry about my brother, he smokes too much. I'm like you, I have never smoked. And speaking of bad things happening around Christmas time, my dad passed away 15 days before Christmas 7 years ago.

12-23-2009, 06:17 PM	#9
spunkygirl Member Moderator Forum Celebrity Join Date: Apr 26, 2003 Posts: 21,563	Sorry to hear that I'm totally against smoking, I hate it with a passion. I'll NEVER understand why people want to smoke, I know I want to live a long life and I know with smoking the odds of that happening are slim to none

12-23-2009, 11:15 PM	#10
OH Nuts! Member Forum King Join Date: Feb 15, 2005 Posts: 133,383	Andrea, I'm hoping for the best for your friend and his mom. Some spots are benign - its quite possible. Did she have any symptoms (coughing, tightness, etc.) if not - that's probably a good sign. I'm praying for them. Have a nice XMAS Andrea (as nice as you can, given the circumstances)