Episode Reviews: “Ralph's Big Mouth” (aka “Head of The House”) & “The Worry Wart”:

[Frank Gannucci]

Episode Reviews: “Ralph's Big Mouth” (aka “Head of The House”) & “The Worry Wart”:

Episode #118 (Syndicated episode #27)
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "Here Comes The Bride."
DVD: Attached to episodes #24 - #32 of the classic 39.

This episode is one of two episodes that for some reason have been re-titled "Ralph's Big Mouth."

Ralph and Ed are walking to their jobs. They walk into a questioning photographer from a newspaper. He interviews Ed. Q.P.: "Where do you live?" Ed: "I live in the Garden Spot of the World. Brooklyn, USA." Since this episode was taped in front of a New York crowd, the crowd applauds. He asks him who's the boss of the household and he says that he is and that any man who is afraid of his wife, isn't a man. Ed: "Now, don't quote me because if my wife reads that, she'll kill me." Ralph is convinced that he is afraid of Trixie and is not afraid to admit that in his house, he thinks that he is the boss of the household. He goes on and on about how he's the boss of the household. The Q.P. records Ralph's answers. He says that will type his answers in the evening paper tonight and takes a picture of Ralph. Ralph is still not afraid. The Q.P. leaves the scene. Ralph: "I'm a horse and you are a mouse Norton." Ed: "I rather be a live mouse than a dead horse." They leave.

At home, Ralph is trying his best to not let Alice read the evening paper because he doesn't like their editorial policy and because they cut out Little Orphan Annie. Ed comes down with the evening paper and shows it to Alice and abruptly gets kicked out by Ralph. Alice is mad. Alice: "Out of all the men that were given these questions, you were the only one to make a stupid comment like that." Ralph: "I was the only one stupid enough to make a stupid comment like that." Trixie comes down. She is upset that he kicked Ed out. Ralph is going upstairs to apologize and he will bring Ed down to celebrate the emancipation. He leaves. Since Ralph is planning to drink beer out of the container and if he does that, Ralph will get drunk out of his mind, Alice takes the beer out and replaces it with grape juice. The wives are convinced that their husbands won't know the difference. The husbands come down and start to drink the grape juice and think that they are drinking beer. The wives leave. As the scene goes on, Jackie and Art completely go against the script and decide to ad-lib the whole dialogue. They ad-libbed greatly and the people (except the audience) knew it and apparently were laughing hysterically because what Jackie and Art were ad-libbing was so funny. This was mentioned on The Honeymooners 50th Anniversary Celebration. One of the things that Jackie and Art ad-lib was a song entitled: "We have a dream" that is purposely sung badly since they knew that their characters were "drunk." Ralph & Ed fall asleep. The girls come back in. Trixie: "Alice, a toast to our husbands." Alice: "A toast, you can have them." The scene ends.

The next day in the bus depot locker room, every one of Ralph's co-workers are marveling at what Ralph said about being the head of the house. One of them says that he doesn't believe it. Ralph comes in and knows what's going on. Ed comes in. He & Ralph are going to have lunch together. One of the co-workers says that he doesn't believe what Ralph did and he will when he sees it. He makes a bet with Ralph saying that he can't prove that he's the boss of the household by ordering Alice too cook dinner for them and for having it ready when he walks in the Kramden's home. Ralph accepts the bet and tries to call Alice (who is at her mother's) on the pay phone. I think you can tell that even though the phone is attached to the wall, the bottom of it is not. Ralph gets Alice and abruptly orders her to come home and cook dinner. She hangs up. Ralph tells Norton of what just happened and they cook up a scheme. They will cook dinner for Ralph and his co-worker.

At home, the boys are cooking dinner. They are not doing a good job. Ralph puts the chicken in the oven and says, "I'll put it on full and it will cook in twice the time." He should have said "Half the time". That was a blooper. Another two things that go wrong is that the chicken ends up getting stunk onto Ralph's clothes and Ed puts in WAY to much rice in the pot and in the process the rice in the pot overflows and goes all over the stove and floor. Alice comes in and sees what the damage that Ralph and Ed did. Ralph explains the bet he made with his co-worker. Alice says that if he just asked her instead of ordering her to cook for him and his co-worker, this would have never happened. Ed leaves as Alice goes into the bedroom. The co-worker comes and sees that dinner isn't ready. He is ready to win the bet when Alice comes in and saves Ralph by lying to his co-worker about she was cooking the dinner when the stove went kabloey and if he came back tomorrow, when he comes in, she will give him the greatest dinner. He leaves. Ralph is appreciative of what Alice has done. He apologizes. They kiss and hug.

Credit goes to Bill's Mooner's Archives.

Episode #119 (Syndicated episode #28)
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "A Matter of Life & Death."
DVD: Attached to episodes #24 - #32 of the classic 39.

Ed comes to visit. He talks to Alice about her going to MSG with him & Trixie to see an antiques show. Ed loves antiques. Alice says that she doesn't have to go to MSG to see antiques; she has them in her house. Alice goes into the bedroom. Ed inspects the ice box and says it looks like early Ma and Pa Kettle. He inspects the ice box while eating some chicken that was in the ice box. Ralph comes home and catches Ed eating their chicken. Ralph doesn't like the fact that Ed raided the ice box. Ed says to Ralph that he just had supper at home Alice comes out and greets Ralph. Alice prepares dinner for Ralph. Ralph says to Ed that it might be uncomfortable for him to watch him and Alice eat, so what does Ed do? He asks Alice for some spaghetti. Ralph: "I thought you had supper." Ed: "Dizzy Dean always warms up in the bullpen before pitching." Alice gives Ed some food too. Ralph opens up a letter. It's from the IRS. Ralph has been waiting for this. He thinks that it's his tax refund. He says when he gets the refund; he will spend it on a vacation at Fred's Landing. He tells a story to Ed. Ralph: "You should have seen Alice run away from that snake. I thought I would die laughing." Alice: "How could you see me running? You were way ahead of me." Ralph doesn't get his refund. The letter says: "Dear Mr. Kramden: Come down to the IRS office tomorrow morning." Ralph gets all worried. He thinks that he made an error on his taxes since he thinks that the government is investigating him. Alice says that the IRS will probably take money out of his refund, (which is $42). Ralph counters by saying that he plans on spending the refund in its entirety and worries about his planned trip to Fred's Landing. Alice: "We will have to compromise Ralph. Just ask Fred to get us a cheaper tent with a smaller snake." All this time Ed is asking for some pick illy, then chow chow and then some bread. Ralph gets mad at Ed for doing that and says that the government is investigating him. Alice: "You are not the first person to be investigated by the government." Ed: "Yeah, the jails are full of them." Ed then tells Ralph to calm down, which he does. Ed wonders where the bread that he asked Ralph for is. That gets Ralph steamed and threatens to kill Ed. He says that if Ed hasn't left here by the time he has counted to ten, there will be some serious consequences. Ed: "I'm not scared of you. If you could count, you wouldn't have messed up doing your taxes." Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"

It's now 2am and Ralph is still worried. He is going over his taxes and when Alice comes out, she begs him to go to bed and get a good night's sleep. Ralph says that a good night's sleep won't help him tomorrow. Alice asks Ralph to forget about it by reading the paper. That works for a few seconds, and then Ralph wonders why the government is investigating him. Ed comes down because he can't get any sleep. Alice goes into the bedroom. Ed offers to help Ralph find the error that he thinks is in Ralph's taxes. First, Ralph reads the Income Tax book and when he reads the first question, he doesn't know what he's talking about. The first question is very complicated. Ed offers some help by saying that Ralph should put down on his Income Tax form some of the things that he won or got, just like Ed has done things like: The horse with the clock in its stomach and finding money. They talk over business write-offs like when Ed uses his apartment for business reasons. (He practices in the bathtub.) They also go over the filing out of Ralph's form. Ed reads Ralph's SS Number and thought that it was Ralph's weight. Ralph: "Now would you tell me why I would put down my weight on an income tax form?" Ed: "How should I know? You're the one being investigated." After a while, Ralph is even more worried but he calms down and goes into the bedroom. Ed: "The worst thing they can possibly do to you is send you to the federal pen." Ralph is now even more worried about going to the office, so Ed suggests that when he goes in there to stand behind one of the amendments in the constitution and say that he was drunk when he filed out his taxes. Upon hearing that comment, Ralph kicks Ed out.

At the IRS office there's a picture of all the men who were U.S. presidents at the time including the president at the time this episode was made. Ralph suggests keeping calm and cool. He does but when the IRS man gets in the office, Ralph gets excited. Ralph says that he didn't do it (meaning cheat the government) but the IRS man doesn't pick it up. Ralph forgot to sign his income tax form. When he does, he is free to leave. Ralph is relieved. He signs and leaves, but comes back to say that he didn't know he had to put down on an income tax form the things that he won or got. Ed also said that he forgot to put down on his form finding money in the sewer. The IRS appreciates their honesty. Ralph and Ed then leave. When Ralph leaves, he says: "Ralph Kramden will never be accused of not putting down winning a horse with a clock in its stomach on his income tax form."

Credit goes to John K's Book To The Moon