UM Corny or Funny Statements Made - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

jy1977 · 12-02-2009, 12:17 PM

What are some statements that have been made by people interviewed on UM that sounded funny or corny.

Here is my selection:

Kurt Sova Case

boys finding Kurt - "Is it a Dummy?" referring to Kurt's dead body.

Blind River Reststop Killings

Cop's Statement - “The fortunate situation here is that we do have a survivor. Gord McAllister survived his wounds, and hopefully, he can point out the killer someday.”

Just as simple as that. All Gord has to do is look in the 6 Billion People population and point the killer out.

Teenager Killing Spree:

Cop's Statement: "Why they choose to beat the old men...."

I just thought that statement was rather unprofessional. Cecil Morrison and his son were referred to nothing more than "Old Men". It just sounded corny when the cop said it.

Please contribute your selections.

Apostapler · 12-03-2009, 01:49 AM

The kids on the "magic rock" segment.

"Look! It has all the aspects of nature."

What kid says that? LOL

bell83 · 12-03-2009, 02:39 AM

One of my favorites was the segment where that guy who was living with his parents said his wife was posessed by a ghost into a bout of rough sex, and laughing with a "laugh that wasn't hers." And the girl was all sheepish and supposedly not remembering it and stuff. His parents were in the living room when it occurred and could hear everything. HILARIOUS!

As a side note...can anyone tell me which segment that was? For the life of me, I can't remember which it was.

Apostapler · 12-03-2009, 05:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bell83

One of my favorites was the segment where that guy who was living with his parents said his wife was posessed by a ghost into a bout of rough sex, and laughing with a "laugh that wasn't hers." And the girl was all sheepish and supposedly not remembering it and stuff. His parents were in the living room when it occurred and could hear everything. HILARIOUS!

As a side note...can anyone tell me which segment that was? For the life of me, I can't remember which it was.

It's called "Lake Wales Haunting." Lake Wales, Florida. The Mann family find their ghost, "Isabella Kramer" isn't too happy that they are there. They sacrificed some snails and poured salt around the house, in addition to using what Sandra Mann referred to as the "You-wee-ja board". I always laugh at that segment, too.

bell83 · 12-03-2009, 07:16 AM

Apo, you are the man. Thanks!

bell83 · 12-03-2009, 07:19 AM

Just found and watched it on that site which will not be named and laughed my *** off, again.

Robert Stack is the greatest "A number of snails were sacrificed."

Apostapler · 12-03-2009, 07:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bell83

Apo, you are the man. Thanks!

Hehe thanks but FYI I'm female.

Mastermind · 12-03-2009, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Cop's Statement - “The fortunate situation here is that we do have a survivor. Gord McAllister survived his wounds, and hopefully, he can point out the killer someday.”

Just as simple as that. All Gord has to do is look in the 6 Billion People population and point the killer out.

I think they were referring to Gordon McAllister identifying someone out of a mugshot book. Or if they captured someone, having Gord identify him out of a lineup.

Gord is a living eyeball witness. Something vary rare in murder cases. Gord is the key to solving this case. Should they find a suspect, they have a witness that can help convict him. They don't have DNA, fingerprints or a confession--but, they have an eyeball witness, which should be enough for conviction.
--------

I nominate nearly every word of dialog from nearly every character in the Sammy Wheeler segment.

dynoguy88 · 12-03-2009, 01:43 PM

From the Su Ya Kim segment: Joe Jones, the security officer who discovered her killer at the dumpster (where her body was dumped)...

I told him he couldn't dump here. He, like, hesitated a couple seconds. And he said, "Umm..what if I gave you $20.00?" So I said, "O.K."

Sick Nick · 12-03-2009, 03:10 PM

"sure he did, sure he did...and i'm Michael Jordan and i play for the chicago bulls"

bell83 · 12-03-2009, 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Apostapler

Hehe thanks but FYI I'm female.

Whoops. Then....you are the woman!

UMfan77 · 12-03-2009, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sick Nick

"sure he did, sure he did...and i'm Michael Jordan and i play for the chicago bulls"

That quote is VERY well-known on this board. We all love that Wheeler dude! Oh, and he also thinks that Pat Sneed is "not a very good looking woman".

alfiechat · 12-03-2009, 05:44 PM

So, here goes my corny line; "That man, he has jonathan.." I think that's close to it. my vote for fakest sounding line ever.

Apostapler · 12-03-2009, 06:10 PM

Ah, it's not really a statement, except if you count it multiplied times 50 within the interview. "Know what I'm sayin'?"

MissFit29 · 12-03-2009, 06:49 PM

I always notice they use cliches over and over....How many segments did we hear "a lonely country road" or "a community in the best sense of the word." I mean, we could start a UM drinking game with some of those.

12-02-2009, 12:17 PM	#1
jy1977 Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Jan 29, 2008 Posts: 13	UM Corny or Funny Statements Made What are some statements that have been made by people interviewed on UM that sounded funny or corny. Here is my selection: Kurt Sova Case boys finding Kurt - "Is it a Dummy?" referring to Kurt's dead body. Blind River Reststop Killings Cop's Statement - “The fortunate situation here is that we do have a survivor. Gord McAllister survived his wounds, and hopefully, he can point out the killer someday.” Just as simple as that. All Gord has to do is look in the 6 Billion People population and point the killer out. Teenager Killing Spree: Cop's Statement: "Why they choose to beat the old men...." I just thought that statement was rather unprofessional. Cecil Morrison and his son were referred to nothing more than "Old Men". It just sounded corny when the cop said it. Please contribute your selections.

12-03-2009, 02:39 AM	#3
bell83 You're in high school again. Senior Member Join Date: Oct 05, 2006 Posts: 1,033	One of my favorites was the segment where that guy who was living with his parents said his wife was posessed by a ghost into a bout of rough sex, and laughing with a "laugh that wasn't hers." And the girl was all sheepish and supposedly not remembering it and stuff. His parents were in the living room when it occurred and could hear everything. HILARIOUS! As a side note...can anyone tell me which segment that was? For the life of me, I can't remember which it was.
	__________________ Acid is groovy...kill the pigs.

12-03-2009, 01:43 PM	#9
dynoguy88 Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 01, 2000 Location: Michigan, USA Posts: 3,675	reply From the Su Ya Kim segment: Joe Jones, the security officer who discovered her killer at the dumpster (where her body was dumped)... I told him he couldn't dump here. He, like, hesitated a couple seconds. And he said, "Umm..what if I gave you $20.00?" So I said, "O.K."

12-03-2009, 01:49 AM	#2
Apostapler Member Forum Regular Join Date: Mar 06, 2009 Location: Indiana Posts: 872	The kids on the "magic rock" segment. "Look! It has all the aspects of nature." What kid says that? LOL

12-03-2009, 07:16 AM	#5
bell83 You're in high school again. Senior Member Join Date: Oct 05, 2006 Posts: 1,033	Apo, you are the man. Thanks!

12-03-2009, 07:19 AM	#6
bell83 You're in high school again. Senior Member Join Date: Oct 05, 2006 Posts: 1,033	Just found and watched it on that site which will not be named and laughed my *** off, again. Robert Stack is the greatest "A number of snails were sacrificed."

12-03-2009, 03:10 PM	#10
Sick Nick Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Apr 13, 2008 Location: PA Posts: 19	"sure he did, sure he did...and i'm Michael Jordan and i play for the chicago bulls"

12-03-2009, 05:44 PM	#13
alfiechat Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Dec 23, 2007 Location: pittsburgh,PA Posts: 198	So, here goes my corny line; "That man, he has jonathan.." I think that's close to it. my vote for fakest sounding line ever.

12-03-2009, 06:10 PM	#14
Apostapler Member Forum Regular Join Date: Mar 06, 2009 Location: Indiana Posts: 872	Ah, it's not really a statement, except if you count it multiplied times 50 within the interview. "Know what I'm sayin'?"

12-03-2009, 06:49 PM	#15
MissFit29 Member Forum Regular Join Date: Mar 09, 2009 Location: Minnesota Posts: 526	I always notice they use cliches over and over....How many segments did we hear "a lonely country road" or "a community in the best sense of the word." I mean, we could start a UM drinking game with some of those.