Wednesday's Quotes:

[Frank Gannucci]

"A Woman's Work Is Never Done":

Ralph: "This is my guest and I'm your employer."

Thelma: "Some guest and some employer. The SIMP and the BLIMP."

"The Safety Award":

Ed: "Can I use this hankerchef?"

Ralph: "It is one of my new ones. Remember, it's for showin', not blowin'."

"Funny Money":

Ralph: "Uh, who should I call Norton?"

Ed: "How about the fire escape? Maybe someone is out there."

"A Little Man Who Wasn't There":

Ed: "A dcotor once told me that I had a split-personality. I was two people. One was Ed Norton: The gay, carefree man-about-town. The other one was Ed Norton: The sober, serious-minded thinker."

Ralph: "What happened?"

Ed: "I got cured. I got cured. I am now one person. I am Ed Norton: The sober, serious-minded thinker."

"A Little Man Who Wasn't There Part 1":

Ralph: "I got news for you Alice. Big news. Your huband is crazy.:

Alice: "Okay, so what's the big news?"

"Petticoat Jungle":

(Ed picks up a cricket bat.)

Ed: "What is it used for?"

Ralph: "To kill crickets."

"You're In The Picture":

(Alice seeing a photo of a woman kissing Ralph, jumps to the conclusion that Ralph is seeing another woman. Ralph tries to tell her that the woman is a blackmailer and much to Ralph's chagrin, she forced herself on him, but to no avail. A policeman comes and explains that the woman in the picture is a blackmailer and reveals the fact that what Ralph said was true. Ralph brings the Nortons out to explain the whole thing.)

Alice: "Forgive me Ralph."

Ralph: "Not yet, I want to enjoy this for a while."

"Petticoat Jungle":

Ed: "How would you like to bag an elephant Alice?"

Alice: "I already did."

"Teamwork Beats The Clock":

Ralph: "As usual, I am carrying the whole load on my shoulders."

Alice: "You are carrying the load, but it's not on your shoulders."