Swayze's Widow: Moving On Felt Like 'A Betrayal' - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Zoneboy · 10-28-2009, 07:40 PM

Lisa Niemi is breaking her silence on losing husband Patrick Swayze to cancer -- and admits that after his death, going on felt like a "betrayal" of the actor.

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Niemi, 54, spoke about the loss of her husband at Maria Shriver's 2009 Women's Conference today -- where she revealed that dealing with loss is very new to her. "I thought during the 22 months of my husband's illness that it gave me all this time to get used to the idea of losing him. I found for myself that when I actually got to this point I said, 'No no no'... it wasn't the same at all."

Lisa, who spoke alongside Elizabeth Edwards on the "Grief, Healing and Resilience" panel, admitted that she wasn't prepared to deal with Patrick's death. "The actual loss is like an animal all of its own. It made all sadness and grief previous to that look like an intellectual concept."

Niemi, who was married to Swayze for 34 years, was a wreck following the days after the actor's September 14 death. "It's almost -- when the grief takes over, your body is not your own... I know I just have to go through it, and it's going to take as long as it's going to take."

Lisa admitted that she "wanted to, at some point, feel like I had the courage to go on and have a good life. And in the first few days after [Patrick's death], I felt like that would almost be a betrayal. That I would be letting him down somehow, and of course everyone's saying to me, 'Trust me, this is what he would have wanted.' And it's true... in a way, I would be letting him down to not do that."

Niemi, who has accepted the reality of her situation, reveals, "It's a brutal truth if you have to go on without that person, but unfortunately, that's what happens in life."

Mr. Television · 10-28-2009, 07:45 PM

It's so sad.

Liza · 10-28-2009, 08:27 PM

Oh, God bless her. She and Patrick were a real love match. Her heart must be completely broken. I hope she's able to pick up the pieces. I feel so bad for her

Retro4Life · 10-28-2009, 08:46 PM

Her comments were spot on in describing the grief you feel when someone that close to you dies. You do not "get over it" and there is no such thing as "closure". You keep breathing and moving because you have to, but your life is never, ever the same again.

God bless her, for sure.

LoveMrsG · 10-28-2009, 08:59 PM

Poor lady.

I feel so sorry for her. What she says, and what a previous poster said about grief, is very true. There is no such thing as "closure." You just keep walking and moving and breathing and somehow you muster up the strength to move on with your life because the only other alternative is to die yourself.

Janice · 10-28-2009, 10:16 PM

It's heartbreaking. I think she would be able to cope better if they had children, and by now, grandchildren. I'm sure she has a strong support system, yet it's not the same. She'd have more to live for, and maybe it wouldn't feel like so much of a betrayal. I know they tried to have children, but it wasn't meant to be. God bless her.

catlover79 · 10-28-2009, 10:25 PM

My heart and prayers go out to Lisa. Yes, she and Patrick were truly soulmates...and a 34-year marriage in Hollywood where the husband is a sex symbol is nothing to sneeze at. God bless her. I know that she has the support of many friends and fans.

browneyes106 · 10-29-2009, 12:03 AM

I really feel for her. They have a very strong marriage. They started dating when she was 16 and Patrick was 20. I don't you ever get over losing someone special but you do eventually move on. My prayers go out to Lisa.

Schmoopie · 11-01-2009, 07:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Retro4Life

Her comments were spot on in describing the grief you feel when someone that close to you dies. You do not "get over it" and there is no such thing as "closure". You keep breathing and moving because you have to, but your life is never, ever the same again.

God bless her, for sure.

I hate when people tell me to "get over it" and "move on". For some, that's not so easy. Only you know if you're able to move on. Getting over it, however sounds like you are telling someone to just forget about it. I've moved on from my dad's tragic death back in 1992, but I'll never "get over it". I'll always remember him.

OH Nuts! · 11-01-2009, 07:16 PM

She is such a wonderful and strong lady - she'll come through this although it will take time and pain. (Sometimes the only way through someithing is just to go through it - as opposed to trying to go around it.) She'll find a way to give to others - whether they be other grieving widows or cancer patients trying to get through their own hurdles - what a remarkable women (and what a remarkable man Patrick was--the battle he put up against pancreatic cancer-which is often credited as the worst/most lethal cancer of all)

Gemini_89 · 01-20-2022, 08:16 AM

Patrick said in SEVERAL interviews out of his own mouth that he would marry WHOOPI If he wasn't already married and he thought he had a chance because she liked white men (allegedly). In the youtube search engine Type in "Whoopi Likes White Men" @4:00. (Allegedly) Type in "Patrick Swayze talks about Ghost" @0:41. (Allegedly). In 1995 at the People's Choice Award he called Whoopi "his woman". Type in "People's Choice 1995: Patrick Swayze presents "Favorite Actress in a Comedy Motion Picture" (Part 2)" (Allegedly)...

Caroline13 · 01-20-2022, 03:12 PM

Wonder why Patrick's death is being brought up now and re hashed???

10-28-2009, 07:40 PM	#1
Zoneboy RIP, I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU :( Moderator Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 13, 2003 Location: AT HOME WISHING ALL THIS WAS JUST A DREAM AND THAT I'LL WAKE UP FROM THIS NIGHTMARE. Posts: 34,434	Swayze's Widow: Moving On Felt Like 'A Betrayal' Lisa Niemi is breaking her silence on losing husband Patrick Swayze to cancer -- and admits that after his death, going on felt like a "betrayal" of the actor. Link Niemi, 54, spoke about the loss of her husband at Maria Shriver's 2009 Women's Conference today -- where she revealed that dealing with loss is very new to her. "I thought during the 22 months of my husband's illness that it gave me all this time to get used to the idea of losing him. I found for myself that when I actually got to this point I said, 'No no no'... it wasn't the same at all." Lisa, who spoke alongside Elizabeth Edwards on the "Grief, Healing and Resilience" panel, admitted that she wasn't prepared to deal with Patrick's death. "The actual loss is like an animal all of its own. It made all sadness and grief previous to that look like an intellectual concept." Niemi, who was married to Swayze for 34 years, was a wreck following the days after the actor's September 14 death. "It's almost -- when the grief takes over, your body is not your own... I know I just have to go through it, and it's going to take as long as it's going to take." Lisa admitted that she "wanted to, at some point, feel like I had the courage to go on and have a good life. And in the first few days after [Patrick's death], I felt like that would almost be a betrayal. That I would be letting him down somehow, and of course everyone's saying to me, 'Trust me, this is what he would have wanted.' And it's true... in a way, I would be letting him down to not do that." Niemi, who has accepted the reality of her situation, reveals, "It's a brutal truth if you have to go on without that person, but unfortunately, that's what happens in life."
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10-28-2009, 07:45 PM	#2
Mr. Television 23 Years at Sitcoms Online Forum Icon Join Date: Jun 06, 2003 Location: Somewhere you're Not Posts: 62,132	It's so sad.
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10-28-2009, 08:46 PM	#4
Retro4Life Accept No Substitutes Forum Veteran Join Date: Feb 04, 2009 Location: IL Posts: 6,708	Her comments were spot on in describing the grief you feel when someone that close to you dies. You do not "get over it" and there is no such thing as "closure". You keep breathing and moving because you have to, but your life is never, ever the same again. God bless her, for sure.
	__________________ Alex Reiger :[Trying to convince Louie not to antagonize Bobby] "It's not hard to make people feel bad about their lives. What's hard is making people feel good about their lives."

10-28-2009, 08:59 PM	#5
LoveMrsG Future Emmy-Winning Writer Forum Regular Join Date: Jun 27, 2008 Location: In Mrs. G.'s mind: "Hmm, maybe I didn't know as much as I thought!" Posts: 783	Poor lady. I feel so sorry for her. What she says, and what a previous poster said about grief, is very true. There is no such thing as "closure." You just keep walking and moving and breathing and somehow you muster up the strength to move on with your life because the only other alternative is to die yourself.
	__________________ Mrs. Garrett: "Get the h*ll out of here or I'll beat you with my frying pan!"

10-28-2009, 10:25 PM	#7
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,392	My heart and prayers go out to Lisa. Yes, she and Patrick were truly soulmates...and a 34-year marriage in Hollywood where the husband is a sex symbol is nothing to sneeze at. God bless her. I know that she has the support of many friends and fans.
	__________________ "Jesus loves you and He approves this message." "I'm alive. I'm feeling good. I'm trying to live every moment as much as I can." - Valerie Harper, March 2013

10-28-2009, 08:27 PM	#3
Liza BestYearsofOurLives Forum Veteran Join Date: Apr 24, 2001 Location: Rochester, NY Posts: 6,537	Oh, God bless her. She and Patrick were a real love match. Her heart must be completely broken. I hope she's able to pick up the pieces. I feel so bad for her

10-28-2009, 10:16 PM	#6
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	It's heartbreaking. I think she would be able to cope better if they had children, and by now, grandchildren. I'm sure she has a strong support system, yet it's not the same. She'd have more to live for, and maybe it wouldn't feel like so much of a betrayal. I know they tried to have children, but it wasn't meant to be. God bless her.

10-29-2009, 12:03 AM	#8
browneyes106 Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Apr 01, 2008 Posts: 6,094	I really feel for her. They have a very strong marriage. They started dating when she was 16 and Patrick was 20. I don't you ever get over losing someone special but you do eventually move on. My prayers go out to Lisa.

11-01-2009, 07:16 PM	#10
OH Nuts! Member Forum King Join Date: Feb 15, 2005 Posts: 133,383	She is such a wonderful and strong lady - she'll come through this although it will take time and pain. (Sometimes the only way through someithing is just to go through it - as opposed to trying to go around it.) She'll find a way to give to others - whether they be other grieving widows or cancer patients trying to get through their own hurdles - what a remarkable women (and what a remarkable man Patrick was--the battle he put up against pancreatic cancer-which is often credited as the worst/most lethal cancer of all)

01-20-2022, 08:16 AM	#11
Gemini_89 Member Senior Member Join Date: Jul 09, 2009 Location: Unknown Posts: 1,294	Patrick said in SEVERAL interviews out of his own mouth that he would marry WHOOPI If he wasn't already married and he thought he had a chance because she liked white men (allegedly). In the youtube search engine Type in "Whoopi Likes White Men" @4:00. (Allegedly) Type in "Patrick Swayze talks about Ghost" @0:41. (Allegedly). In 1995 at the People's Choice Award he called Whoopi "his woman". Type in "People's Choice 1995: Patrick Swayze presents "Favorite Actress in a Comedy Motion Picture" (Part 2)" (Allegedly)...

01-20-2022, 03:12 PM	#12
Caroline13 Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Jan 30, 2021 Location: So Calif Posts: 14,483	Wonder why Patrick's death is being brought up now and re hashed???
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