Sunday's Quotes & Ralph Kramden, a NY Yankee fan? (Part 3)

[Frank Gannucci]

(The NY Yankees won the ALDS 3 games to 0 by beating the Minnesota Twins 3-1.)

"Expectant Father":

(Ralph thinks that he is going to be a father. He wants his new boy to be a fighter.)

Ed: "Why don't you name the kid Percy?"

Ralph: "Percy?"

Ed: "With a name like that, he will be fighting all the time."

"A Woman's Work Is Never Done":

Ed: "I got a solution on how we should remove the dresser. The drawers are probably filled with junk."

Ralph: "That's not a bad idea."

(Ed takes the drawers and puts them on top of the dresser.)

Ralph: "Okay, let's go."

"A Dog's Life":

(Ralph is at the dog pound. He just gave back Alice's dog that he hated, but slowly and surely he started not hating it.)

Ralph: "Is my dog going to get a good home?"

Man: "I hope so."

Ralph: "What do you mean by that?"

Man: "We have several dogs who are only supposed to be here for four days. We got several who are over the limit."

Ralph: "What happens to the dogs who are over the limit?"

Man: "They have to be destoryed."

Ralph: "You mean to tell me that the dog I just gave back is going to be destroyed?" (going into the room where all the dogs are, yells): "WAIT A MINUTE!"

"A Woman's Work Is Never Done":

Ralph: "Is this your idea of a joke Norton?"

Ed: "No, that's my idea of a burn."

"Hair To A Fortune":

Ed: "Bottle #2: Ho (H2O)"

(Ed dumps the H2O in the bowl in a rather unique way.)

Ralph: "Take it easy with that H20. What do you think it is, water?"

"Songwriters":

Ralph: "Berlin threw away a lot of bad lines."

Alice: "Yeah, if you can only find out where he threw them."

"Flushing Ho":

Ralph: "Do you know what it like Alice to own a home? You can walk outside, pick up some dirt and say: 'This is all mine.'"

Alice: "I can go out in the hallway right now and do the same thing."

"The Sleepwalker":

Ralph: "All right Weisenhemimer. I am now going to put the key in a place which even if you know that it was there, you wouldn't be able to get it. I am going to put it under my pillow. Now, you will have to lift me up bodily in order to get the key."

Ed: "I got to hand it to you Ralph. You came up with something even Dick Tracy couldn't solve."

"Stars Over Flatbush":

(Ralph is trying to scratch an itch on his back by rubbing his back on the ice box. Ed comes in.)

Ed: "What do you say there Taurus?"

Ralph: "I was trying to scratch an itch that I couldn't reach."

Ed: "Oh, for a minute there I thought you were practicing the ol' Shake, Rattle & Roll."

(Immediately after the game in the Met, the Raccoons raise thier tails.)

Raccoons (yell): "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Ralph: "Boy, what a game huh? The Yankees showed the Twins who is the boss."

Freddie: "I was hoping for a more competitve ALDS."

Ralph: "I am fine with a sweep as long as the Yankees don't get swept in the ALCS."

Ed: "How about Boston/New York ALCS. Rematch from five years ago."

Ralph: "The Yankees will get their revenge from 2004. The Sox got lucky."

Ed: "The Sox got owned in this postseason."

Fred: "Yeah. The ALCS isn't the same without that rivalry."

Ralph: "I may be in the minority but I want to hear Joe Buck do play-by-play. That guy may be not as good as his dad, but I think he is pretty good."

Ed: "Well, let's all root on the Yankees. This will be their year to win it all."

Ralph: "I am happy to be here in Minnesota to see their Twins get swept. I didn't think we would get here because of...well..."

Fred: "What happened?"

Ed: "Ralph, somehow got our tickets mixed up and we went to Norfolk. Not only that, he was ripped off of a pair of handcuffs and me and Ralph got handcuffed."

(Everyone laughs.)

Ralph (yells): "DON'T REMIND ME NORTON!" (normally): "It doesn't matter now. Now, it is the time to root on the Yanks."

(They all sing: "Here Come The Yankees.")

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience cheers.)

Jackie (yells): "THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THE MIAMI BEACH AUDIENCES ARE THE GREATEST IN THE WORLD. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)