What do you think of the guy paying for dinner when you go out? - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Wreckless · 09-26-2009, 04:57 PM

A lot of guys always insist that they pay, but I know many women, they see no wrong in letting them pay for their own dinner, and maybe even the guys. What do you think on this subject? In the past it was a custom for a guy to pay for dinner. it was even considered with such acts as, pulling out their chair and pushing it in for them, and opening doors for them. people consider those 2 acts as chivalry, so I don't see how paying for dinner is considered chivalry, but I do it anyway. I always used to buy my mom dinner for her bday, when I was just a kid as well. It just seemed like a classy, really generous, nice thing to do. Buying a woman a birthday dinner is different then paying for dinner when you go out for a date with a woman, but I am just saying. What do you think?

Sharop · 09-26-2009, 07:36 PM

I think it's okay for men to buy dinner for women (as long as it's not all the time.) I would be fine with a man paying for dinner occasionally, and I would do the same for him as well.

Marvo301 · 09-26-2009, 07:51 PM

Being a man I hate the idea!!

Seriously I think that if the man asked the woman out on the date then it is his responsibility to pay. If on the other hand the woman asked the man out.... how should I know? I've never been asked out!

Retro4Life · 09-26-2009, 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marvo301

Being a man I hate the idea!!

Seriously I think that if the man asked the woman out on the date then it is his responsibility to pay. If on the other hand the woman asked the man out.... how should I know? I've never been asked out!

That seems reasonable. These days with many women earning as much or more than men, the ideal of a man always paying kind of conflicts with reality a bit. And honestly, I can't speak for women (or many men for that matter, lol), but I would think that being allowed to pay some of the time would ease whatever guilt/feeling of "obligation" they might have regarding anything else going on after the date.

P.S. Marv, keep hope alive. Tomorrow might be the day!

catlover79 · 09-26-2009, 08:02 PM

Maybe it's just me, but I'd rather pay my own way. Some men seem to think that just because they pay for a woman's meal and/or drink...that she *cough* OWES him. Unless it was a guy I knew well and trusted, I'd rather go dutch, thanks.

Retro4Life · 09-26-2009, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by catlover79

Maybe it's just me, but I'd rather pay my own way. Some men seem to think that just because they pay for a woman's meal and/or drink...that she *cough* OWES him. Unless it was a guy I knew well and trusted, I'd rather go dutch, thanks.

Yeah there is that issue of independence that enters in and I totally respect it. Many guys "expect" something afterwards if they pay (present company and I'm sure Marv not included here) and going dutch would alleviate such a notion.

Then again, I'm sure most of the ladies here would be more prudent about who they go to dinner with, and would probably decline an invite from a guy who might think such a thing.

catlover79 · 09-26-2009, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Retro4Life

Yeah there is that issue of independence that enters in and I totally respect it. Many guys "expect" something afterwards if they pay (present company and I'm sure Marv not included here) and going dutch would alleviate such a notion.

Then again, I'm sure most of the ladies here would be more prudent about who they go to dinner with, and would probably decline an invite from a guy who might think such a thing.

True, but you can't be too careful - especially these days.

Marvo301 · 09-26-2009, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Retro4Life

Yeah there is that issue of independence that enters in and I totally respect it. Many guys "expect" something afterwards if they pay (present company and I'm sure Marv not included here) and going dutch would alleviate such a notion.

Then again, I'm sure most of the ladies here would be more prudent about who they go to dinner with, and would probably decline an invite from a guy who might think such a thing.

Thanks. And your right. I don't expect something from a woman just because I buy her dinner. And I hate that there are are guys that do. Mostly because it's unfair to the ladies. Also because it makes dating more difficult for nice guys like us.

Retro4Life · 09-26-2009, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by catlover79

True, but you can't be too careful - especially these days.

You are very wise to be very cautious, Monika. It does often seem these days that not only are very few people playing by the traditional rules, most don't even know what they are!

Janice · 09-26-2009, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Retro4Life

That seems reasonable. These days with many women earning as much or more than men, the ideal of a man always paying kind of conflicts with reality a bit. And honestly, I can't speak for women (or many men for that matter, lol), but I would think that being allowed to pay some of the time would ease whatever guilt/feeling of "obligation" they might have regarding anything else going on after the date.

I agree. You made some very good points. The days of a man always paying seems antiquated to me. Times change, customs changes, and I believe this is one of those times.

Retro4Life · 09-26-2009, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marvo301

Thanks. And your right. I don't expect something from a woman just because I buy her dinner. And I hate that there are are guys that do. Mostly because it's unfair to the ladies. Also because it makes dating more difficult for nice guys like us.

I can't imagine how paranoid I'd be if I had daughters. Being a guy and knowing guys, I honestly think I'd have to be tranquilized each time my hypothetical daughter would go out on a date!

catlover79 · 09-26-2009, 08:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Retro4Life

You are very wise to be very cautious, Monika. It does often seem these days that not only are very few people playing by the traditional rules, most don't even know what they are!

Trust me, I'm speaking from many bad experiences!!

Retro4Life · 09-26-2009, 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janice

I agree. You made some very good points. The days of a man always paying seems antiquated to me. Times change, customs changes, and I believe this is one of those times.

Thank you. I'm a traditionalist in most things, but as you said, some things do change out of necessity and the simple inertia of time.

Retro4Life · 09-26-2009, 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by catlover79

Trust me, I'm speaking from many bad experiences!!

Very sorry to hear that. Also glad to hear while your experiences have altered your approach a bit, they haven't jaded you on more positive outcomes.

Theda Bara · 09-27-2009, 05:43 AM

It matters on the situation. I, when I go on a date, I do allow a man to pay for the dinner, but I always pay for the drinks after wards, or the tip. I think that is fair.

09-26-2009, 04:57 PM	#1
Wreckless Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Nov 04, 2007 Location: Banned Posts: 9,406	What do you think of the guy paying for dinner when you go out? A lot of guys always insist that they pay, but I know many women, they see no wrong in letting them pay for their own dinner, and maybe even the guys. What do you think on this subject? In the past it was a custom for a guy to pay for dinner. it was even considered with such acts as, pulling out their chair and pushing it in for them, and opening doors for them. people consider those 2 acts as chivalry, so I don't see how paying for dinner is considered chivalry, but I do it anyway. I always used to buy my mom dinner for her bday, when I was just a kid as well. It just seemed like a classy, really generous, nice thing to do. Buying a woman a birthday dinner is different then paying for dinner when you go out for a date with a woman, but I am just saying. What do you think?

09-26-2009, 07:36 PM	#2
Sharop Andy Gibb aged 12 Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 03, 2004 Location: Courthouse Square, Hill Valley, beside the clocktower, 10:04 p.m., November 12th 1955 Posts: 3,912	I think it's okay for men to buy dinner for women (as long as it's not all the time.) I would be fine with a man paying for dinner occasionally, and I would do the same for him as well.
	__________________ http://rainbowlight.proboards102.com My new astral projection forums Doc: Don't worry! As long as you hit that wire with the connecting hook at precisely 88 miles per hour, the instant the lightning strikes the tower, everything will be fine!

09-26-2009, 07:51 PM	#3
Marvo301 I'm NOT a Blockhead! Forum Celebrity Join Date: May 17, 2002 Location: The Great White North Posts: 21,452	Being a man I hate the idea!! Seriously I think that if the man asked the woman out on the date then it is his responsibility to pay. If on the other hand the woman asked the man out.... how should I know? I've never been asked out!
	__________________ Only a life lived for others is worth living. Albert Einstein A life isn't worth living unless it has impact on other lives. Jackie Robinson Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. Benjamin Franklin

09-26-2009, 08:02 PM	#5
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,376	Maybe it's just me, but I'd rather pay my own way. Some men seem to think that just because they pay for a woman's meal and/or drink...that she cough OWES him. Unless it was a guy I knew well and trusted, I'd rather go dutch, thanks.
	__________________ "Jesus loves you and He approves this message." "I'm alive. I'm feeling good. I'm trying to live every moment as much as I can." - Valerie Harper, March 2013

09-27-2009, 05:43 AM	#15
Theda Bara Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Apr 27, 2006 Posts: 7,154	It matters on the situation. I, when I go on a date, I do allow a man to pay for the dinner, but I always pay for the drinks after wards, or the tip. I think that is fair.