Funniest things you've done/just the funny story thread

[Cactus Jack]

I have lots. I've told them here before, and im telling them in this post again now
In May 14,1999, my nanny at the time and I wnet to Dillard's, I dont have nannies anymore too old for that, well she was buying some shoes cause she was going out that night, and I saw these red female shoes on the couch, and cuse Imcrazy I tried them on, started wlaking around in them, my babysitter told me to put my tennis shoes back on, and then as we were walking out she asked me if I knew I was wearing that other lady's shoes.IT WAS A CUSTOMER'S SHOES!!!!! I THOUGHT THEY WERE DILLARD'S SHOES!!!!. They fit me too and I was 10 LOL


LOL ok one time I got chips in one of those Ziploc containers ( I take my own lunch ) and I cracked them up into little pieces. Then I told someone "Ya know? This would make a FORTUNE on ebay" LOL then I started this whole thing about selling them on Ebay that itd be fun. Then one day before I left I made this little advertisement like I was talknig about how everyone should sell cracked chips on ebay. Then my sign off was "Ebay goers WISH ME LUCK!"


I never did it LOL



Oh and one time I got a bag of Fritos and a girl form the yearbook came in the lunchroom with a camera and I went "Take a pic of me!" and held up the Fritos bag and smiled and pointed to it. Then after that i said "Ya know? Some of the best high school pics are taken when a freshman is holding up a Fritos bag" then in Journalism later, which is the same room as yearbook. I asked the photographer if that Frito pic was gonna be in there he said it was im like "YESSSSS!!!!"


It didnt end up in the yearbook


Oh well. THere went my chance to be famous for selling cracked chips on ebay and holding a Fritos bag

Oh and another thing about the cracked chips on Ebay thing I said it was gonna be the newest fad of 2004


Another time in 5th grade I had loose pants on and didnt know it. So we were going to science class ( this was still when the same class went to the differnet classes together), and I was carrying these heavy books. Then as we're walking one of thme starts laughing, I thought they were laughing at something someone said, I look down, MY PANTS ARE GRADUALLY FALLING DOWN TO MY TENNIS SHOES. THEN when we got there everyone is , and Dr. Nease, the science teacher ( who still works there and I have no clue why ) said "Whats going on?" and a black girl, she got in trouble a lot, I might add, not for this though said "JACK'S PANTS BE DOWN"and I pulled them up.


One time,forget what time it was mighta been Spring 2004...it was, it was either going to or coming back from Flrodia in the car, I was taking a nap and apparently farted, my parents told me after I woke up but yeah



When I was a freshman,I guess this teacher thought I looked like some girl he knew and asked me if I cut my hair "young lady"and I said I was a boy yeah,in the hallway too.

This was Spring Break 2002 in Florida. I was at our hosue about to watch a movie, and my parents were at restraunt, I called them couldnt reach them, cause the movie wouldnt start, it eventually did,and I didnt have to call my parents again after this happened. I called the restraunt,and my parents didnt have a reservation.I told the manager this and after I waited for them to find out he goes "Mam? M'am? M;am?" I said,:"Im a boy"and he said sorry,then the movie started and all was well.


IN summer 2003,me and my friend Ben and my mom were at a restraunt , Cafe Brazil,and there were these two guys,no shirts, they had tans, one had a hat and they were holding car wash signs and no one stopped for them. LOL



One time in either 1999 or 2000, may have been 98, my babysitter and I were coming home form the mall,well were about to but we couldn't find the car. We did eventually.


In 2001 , one time we were at a restaurant and on the menu was ****take mushrooms. first time Id seen that before. Anyways I told my parents to look at what it said cause I thought it said ****-take and , then my mom told me it was shi-tah-kee not ****take. Just like in the third Austin Powers movie.



One time in freshman or sophmore year my pants that had ab utton and zipper on it, teh button and zipepr came off with the bathroom cause it didnt unbutton them when my legs were wet and had to put tape on them LOL. No one said a thing LOL


The weeked of my bday in 2007, we went to NYC, the last night we were there, we went on the Holiday Lights tour,where they showed you the Christmas lights, and the tour guide we got was the probably the biggest egomaniac Ive ever seen in my life. He said he was going to "rock our world",chyeah in his dreams. We had tours in the day too, and the guides referred to their drivers by NAME. This guy calls his driver "My driver",um,no he's OUR driver, plus he has a name. He missed an EXCELLENT shot of the Rockefeller Center christmas tree,cause he was talking to some lady from North Carolina( ie the ONLY person he catered to), about his three firetrucks, yeah do you also have 2 poilce cars, an ambulance, 5 cabs, and 10 bikes, and 9 clown bikes, and 20 buses?, like anyone cares! We got to see awesome lights though, and he did take us places the other buses didnt take people so that was great. It started RAINING,luckily there was a window over the bus, but a part was leaking behind where I was, and the girl wore a poncho, and her mom was and took a pic of her with her phone. Anyways, back to the guide, yeah he was irritating, when we got back to the hotel, my mom said he was irritating, and my dad said he wanted to kill him. My dad has pics of him too LOL. But at least I have a story about it.


Ever played that wine cork game where you bounce a cork on a flat syrface an umber of times? Well, we do, we thought we'd made it up,until this one night when we were playing at a restaurant we went to for my Mom's bdayu a few years ago. I won the game cause I got the cork to stand on its end a few times, then this old lady WE NEVER EVEN KNEW EXISTED EVER coemsu p and says "AH SAW YEW PLAYIN DA CORK GAME AND YEW WON, MY KIDS USED T' PLAY THAT GAME AND YEW WON IT, LIL BOY" , ok not the little boy part, I just like to add that when telling the story.



Im sure there's more Im not thinking of, now post yours

[JoPol_wannabe]

Oh this one time I was at my friend’s cabin and we were like 12 & 13 at the time and my friends Uncle was there with us. And my friend’s cabin is like really close to this cemetery and all of a sudden we heard voices coming from the cemetery. So we walked over there but not showing ourselves and we saw a bunch of high school kids walking around the cemetery so my friends uncle started making wild animal noises and we could here one of the high school kids say "what was that" and he kept making the noises and another kid said "RUN!" and we saw all those kids bolt out of the cemetery and into there cars and they took off as fast as they could, it was hilarious.


There was this one time my best friend go me this fart machine for my b-day and she was staying the night so we were bored and I said "dad is asleep" and we got to thinking how funny it would be to wake him up with the fart machine. So we snuck upstairs and went into his room and I got up right beside him and put the fart machine right up to his ear and my best friend pushed the button and my dad jolted up in bed and said what's that and we ran downstairs so fast. I still laugh about that one.

This other time I was with one of my friends and we were driving around and we saw our other friends car in the parking lot of the grocery store were she worked and we were bored so we thought it would be funny to go buy some window paint and right on her back window. So we went to wal-mart and go some window paint for cars, and we went back to our friend’s car and wrote sexy beast on it. The next day we went over to our friends house and we were like "who wrote Sexy Beast on your car" and she was like "well I don't know I thought it was my boyfriend I went over there and accused him of it and he was like I never did that and I didn't believe him." And then we found out he bought her a bunch of flowers because he felt bad about what happened so we confessed and she felt really stupid for blaming him she was like "I should of known it was you guys" she should of because we done stuff like that to her all the time and but she deserved it because she did stuff like that to us.