Friday's Quotes & Honeymooners TV Schedule (9/14-9/25): - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 09-11-2009, 09:58 PM

(American Life TV):

(AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to watch.)

TV-G

All times are Eastern.

All color episodes are one hour.

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as Trixie Norton.

Mon. Sep. 14 2a & Sat. Sep. Sep. 25, 2009 2a #17 (aka #170) – “Flushing Ho”: The Kramdens and Nortons, unable to make ends meet around tax time, decide to move to a large two-bedroom apartment in Flushing and split all expenses. The plan fails when Ralph complains of a dwindling food supply and insufficient time in the bathroom, so they all pack up and move back to Chauncey Street.

3a #18 (aka #171) – “Sees All, Knows All”: A Coney Island fortune teller tells Ralph that he is going to commit a murder within a week. Ralph wants Alice to move in with her mother till t he week passes but Alice refuses. Ralph moves in with Ed and gets so exasperated at him that he nearly kills him. In the end, Ralph manages to get himself arrested for safety by assaulting a police officer.

Tue. Sep. 15, 2009 2a #8 (aka #161) - "We Spy": Ralph and Ed wander onto a Russian firing range while visiting Germany and are mistaken for spies.

Wed. Sep. 16, 2009 2a #9 (aka #162) - "Petticoat Jungle": The Kramdens & Nortons go on a safari. The men go hunting -- Ralph kills a rabbit, Ed kills an elephant.

Thu. Sep. 17, 2009 2a #10 (aka #163) – “Run Santa Run”: Ralph doesn't know that Alice has taken in knitting to pay for his Christmas present, so when he discovers baby things in the apartment he assumes Alice is pregnant. He takes on a job as a sidewalk Santa with Norton as his helper. They are both arrested as operatives in a bookmaking operation.

Fri. Sep. 18, 2009 2a #11 (aka #164) - "King of the Castle": Back from Europe, Ralph advises Ed to stand up to Trixie -- and suddenly, Alice moves in with Trixie and Ed is living with Ralph.

Sat. Sep. 19, 2009 2a #12 (aka #165) – “Movies Are Better Than Ever”: Ralph treats himself, Alice and the Nortons to the movies for Ed's birthday. Ed's ticket wins the door prize -- a color TV. Ralph declares war on Ed because he paid for the tickets and wants the TV. Eventually they take their case to court but reconcile after hearing Alice's testimony.

Sun. Sep. 20, 2009 2a #19 (aka #172) – “Be It Ever So Humble”: Rather than pay a $5 rent increase, Ralph buys a duplex in the country and takes the Nortons as his tenants.He forces them to sign a 99-year lease. But he is a negligent superintendent, and the Nortons attempt to break the lease with a 3:00 A.M. party and a firecracker in Ralph's fireplace.

3a #20 (aka #173) – “Hair To A Fortune”: For $500, Ralph and Norton buy a phony hair-restoration formula from a sharp promoter in Central Park. Over Alice and Trixie's objections, they mix up their first batch and try it on Ralph's boss. Using the formula he loses all his hair.

Mon. Sep. 21, 2009 2a #21 (aka #174) – “The People’s Choice”: Ralph becomes a hero for recognizing "Knuckles" Grogan from his newspaper picture and aiding in his arrest. Then Knuckles escapes and Ralph has to be the bait so the police can recapture him. Local politicians ask Ralph, on the strength of his heroism, to run for state assembly; he agrees, and campaigns vigorously, until he realizes that his sponsors are dishonest. And, at the big pre-election rally, he tells the voters the whole story.

3a #22 (aka #175) – “Two For The Money”: Ralph, as treasurer of the Raccoon Lodge, has been entrusted with $500 in cash, which he loses at Dennehy's Bar, He plays a long shot at the tracks to replace the money, and his horse wins but he doesn't, because he tore up his ticket at the beginning of the race when it looked like he was going to lose. Fortunately, the money turns up right where Ralph left it--in the pocket of the Raccoons' Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler.

Tue. Sep. 22, 2009 2a #13 (aka #166) - “Without Reservations”: Ralph's brother-in-law Stanley persuades Ralph and Ed into buying a strategically located hotel along the route of a proposed highway. The highway ends up bypassing the hotel, putting Ralph and Ed out of business but money in Stanley's pocket since he's a construction worker on the new highway.

Wed. Sep. 23, 2009 2a #14 (aka #167) – “Life Upon The Wicked Stage”: Ralph pairs up with Ed and Alice pairs up with Trixie to enter a talent contest. Alice and Trixie win first place and Alice uses her winnings to buy Ralph the expensive fishing gear he's had his eyes on.

Thu. Sep. 24, 2009 2a #15 (aka #168) – “Rafitti, Brooklyn Style”: Ralph tries to score points with his boss by collecting money from the drivers at the depot and buying the boss' daughter an elegant watch as a wedding present. Alice and her mother discover the watch and since it's Alice's birthday, jump to the wrong conclusion. Ralph stages a phony holdup to get the watch back but is thwarted when a real crook overhears his scheme.

Fri. Sep. 25, 2009 2a #16 (aka #169) – “Ralph Kramden Presents”: Ralph is asked to invite his celebrity friend that he always brags about, Jackie Gleason, to the annual Raccoons dance. In desperation, Ralph & Ed go over to the hotel that Gleason is staying to try to get him to come. Ralph gets to speak to Carney and Ed gets to speak to Gleason but in the confusion, nobody is invited to the dance. Alice promises Gleason the recipe for her anchovy pizza and he shows up at the dance.

(WPIX) & (WPIXD) [aka New York feed of CWHD]:

Mon. Sep. 14, 2009 1a #019 (aka #110) - "Ralph Kramden Inc.": Ralph needs a loan from Norton, so he sells him a share of his future earnings as a corporation---Ralph Kramden, Inc. It's another con job by Ralph, of course, until he learns that an old woman with a $40 million estate died and left him in her will. That's enough for Norton, as an officer in the corporation, to remind Ralph about one "small detail"---that they need to bring a suitcase to the reading of the will to carry home the $40 million.

1:30a (CC) #43 (aka #70) - *“Teamwork Beats the Clock”: Ralph and Alice go on "Beat the Clock," but when they're asked to return, Alice can't make it and Norton takes over.

Mon. Sep. 21, 2009 1a #012 (aka #103) - "Something Fishy": "I catch the fish," Ralph tells Alice, "you cook the fish. The only time we're together is when we eat the fish." Alice, however, has other ideas about Ralph and his lodge brothers worming their way out of taking the wives on the annual fishing trip. Ralph and Norton are desperate, so they angle for a way to leave Alice and Trixie behind.

1:30a (CC) #92 (aka #72) - *“Songwriters”: To Alice's dismay, Ralph buys a piano thinking he and Norton can write a hit song and become rich.

*: This episode has been edited HEAVILY.

"Operation: Protest":

(Clifford just cost Ralph his job at the bus company.)

Clifford (making the "Peace" sign with his fingers): "Peace."

Ralph (grabbing one of Cliff's fingers): "Alice, grab the other one and make a wish."

"Boys and Girls Together":

Alice: "If you go out one night and it's not your night out with Norton and you don't take me with you, when you get home, I won't be here."

(Alice goes into the bedroom. Ralph walks over to the doorway to the bedroom.)

Ralph: "Har-har-hardy-har-har!"

"Movies Are Better Than Ever":

(Ralph & Alice are at the pool hall.)

Ralph: "This is how you chalk up your cue."

Alice: "Well, that is the stupidest thing I ever heard of."

Ralph: "YOU are the stupidest thing I ever heard of."

"Champagne and Caviar":

Mr. Marshall: "How did you get your job in the sewer?"

Ed: "Just lucky I guess."

"The Hypnotist Part 1":

(The boys come home.)

Ralph: "Shh! Alice is asleep."

Ed: "What?"

Ralph: "I said that Alice is asleep."

Ed: "I can't hear you."

Alice (from bedroom): "He said: 'Shh! Alice is asleep.'"

"Norton Moves In" (Color version):

Alice: "You and Norton will have to sleep out in the kitchen."

Ralph: "Just a moment. Whenever you mother or your Aunt Ethel comes, I have to sleep in the kitchen. It's a good thing that we don't have a cat because if he ever wanted to sleep in the kitchen, I would have to sleep in a box out in the hall."

"Unconventional Behavior":

Ed: "Hey Ralph?"

Ralph: "What?"

Ed: "Mind if I smoke?"

Ralph: "I don't care if you burn."

"Young At Heart":

(Ralph is talking about the fact that from now on, he will do all the things that young people do.)

Ralph: "What's so funny?"

Ed: "How could anybody so round, be so square?"

"Young At Heart":

Wallace: "I got a frantic hot rod that is ready to percolate."

Ralph: "Frantic hot rod that is ready to percolate?"

Wallace: "Yeah man. Aren't you hip? Don't you dig?"

Ed: "No, I'm the one who digs. I work in the sewer."

Credit goes to John K's Book To The Moon, the old honeymooners.net, sitcomsonline.com, tvguide.com, tvland.com, and zap2it.com.

09-11-2009, 09:58 PM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,072	Friday's Quotes & Honeymooners TV Schedule (9/14-9/25): (American Life TV): (AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to watch.) TV-G All times are Eastern. All color episodes are one hour. Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as Trixie Norton. Mon. Sep. 14 2a & Sat. Sep. Sep. 25, 2009 2a #17 (aka #170) – “Flushing Ho”: The Kramdens and Nortons, unable to make ends meet around tax time, decide to move to a large two-bedroom apartment in Flushing and split all expenses. The plan fails when Ralph complains of a dwindling food supply and insufficient time in the bathroom, so they all pack up and move back to Chauncey Street. 3a #18 (aka #171) – “Sees All, Knows All”: A Coney Island fortune teller tells Ralph that he is going to commit a murder within a week. Ralph wants Alice to move in with her mother till t he week passes but Alice refuses. Ralph moves in with Ed and gets so exasperated at him that he nearly kills him. In the end, Ralph manages to get himself arrested for safety by assaulting a police officer. Tue. Sep. 15, 2009 2a #8 (aka #161) - "We Spy": Ralph and Ed wander onto a Russian firing range while visiting Germany and are mistaken for spies. Wed. Sep. 16, 2009 2a #9 (aka #162) - "Petticoat Jungle": The Kramdens & Nortons go on a safari. The men go hunting -- Ralph kills a rabbit, Ed kills an elephant. Thu. Sep. 17, 2009 2a #10 (aka #163) – “Run Santa Run”: Ralph doesn't know that Alice has taken in knitting to pay for his Christmas present, so when he discovers baby things in the apartment he assumes Alice is pregnant. He takes on a job as a sidewalk Santa with Norton as his helper. They are both arrested as operatives in a bookmaking operation. Fri. Sep. 18, 2009 2a #11 (aka #164) - "King of the Castle": Back from Europe, Ralph advises Ed to stand up to Trixie -- and suddenly, Alice moves in with Trixie and Ed is living with Ralph. Sat. Sep. 19, 2009 2a #12 (aka #165) – “Movies Are Better Than Ever”: Ralph treats himself, Alice and the Nortons to the movies for Ed's birthday. Ed's ticket wins the door prize -- a color TV. Ralph declares war on Ed because he paid for the tickets and wants the TV. Eventually they take their case to court but reconcile after hearing Alice's testimony. Sun. Sep. 20, 2009 2a #19 (aka #172) – “Be It Ever So Humble”: Rather than pay a $5 rent increase, Ralph buys a duplex in the country and takes the Nortons as his tenants.He forces them to sign a 99-year lease. But he is a negligent superintendent, and the Nortons attempt to break the lease with a 3:00 A.M. party and a firecracker in Ralph's fireplace. 3a #20 (aka #173) – “Hair To A Fortune”: For $500, Ralph and Norton buy a phony hair-restoration formula from a sharp promoter in Central Park. Over Alice and Trixie's objections, they mix up their first batch and try it on Ralph's boss. Using the formula he loses all his hair. Mon. Sep. 21, 2009 2a #21 (aka #174) – “The People’s Choice”: Ralph becomes a hero for recognizing "Knuckles" Grogan from his newspaper picture and aiding in his arrest. Then Knuckles escapes and Ralph has to be the bait so the police can recapture him. Local politicians ask Ralph, on the strength of his heroism, to run for state assembly; he agrees, and campaigns vigorously, until he realizes that his sponsors are dishonest. And, at the big pre-election rally, he tells the voters the whole story. 3a #22 (aka #175) – “Two For The Money”: Ralph, as treasurer of the Raccoon Lodge, has been entrusted with $500 in cash, which he loses at Dennehy's Bar, He plays a long shot at the tracks to replace the money, and his horse wins but he doesn't, because he tore up his ticket at the beginning of the race when it looked like he was going to lose. Fortunately, the money turns up right where Ralph left it--in the pocket of the Raccoons' Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler. Tue. Sep. 22, 2009 2a #13 (aka #166) - “Without Reservations”: Ralph's brother-in-law Stanley persuades Ralph and Ed into buying a strategically located hotel along the route of a proposed highway. The highway ends up bypassing the hotel, putting Ralph and Ed out of business but money in Stanley's pocket since he's a construction worker on the new highway. Wed. Sep. 23, 2009 2a #14 (aka #167) – “Life Upon The Wicked Stage”: Ralph pairs up with Ed and Alice pairs up with Trixie to enter a talent contest. Alice and Trixie win first place and Alice uses her winnings to buy Ralph the expensive fishing gear he's had his eyes on. Thu. Sep. 24, 2009 2a #15 (aka #168) – “Rafitti, Brooklyn Style”: Ralph tries to score points with his boss by collecting money from the drivers at the depot and buying the boss' daughter an elegant watch as a wedding present. Alice and her mother discover the watch and since it's Alice's birthday, jump to the wrong conclusion. Ralph stages a phony holdup to get the watch back but is thwarted when a real crook overhears his scheme. Fri. Sep. 25, 2009 2a #16 (aka #169) – “Ralph Kramden Presents”: Ralph is asked to invite his celebrity friend that he always brags about, Jackie Gleason, to the annual Raccoons dance. In desperation, Ralph & Ed go over to the hotel that Gleason is staying to try to get him to come. Ralph gets to speak to Carney and Ed gets to speak to Gleason but in the confusion, nobody is invited to the dance. Alice promises Gleason the recipe for her anchovy pizza and he shows up at the dance. (WPIX) & (WPIXD) [aka New York feed of CWHD]: Mon. Sep. 14, 2009 1a #019 (aka #110) - "Ralph Kramden Inc.": Ralph needs a loan from Norton, so he sells him a share of his future earnings as a corporation---Ralph Kramden, Inc. It's another con job by Ralph, of course, until he learns that an old woman with a $40 million estate died and left him in her will. That's enough for Norton, as an officer in the corporation, to remind Ralph about one "small detail"---that they need to bring a suitcase to the reading of the will to carry home the $40 million. 1:30a (CC) #43 (aka #70) - “Teamwork Beats the Clock”: Ralph and Alice go on "Beat the Clock," but when they're asked to return, Alice can't make it and Norton takes over. Mon. Sep. 21, 2009 1a #012 (aka #103) - "Something Fishy": "I catch the fish," Ralph tells Alice, "you cook the fish. The only time we're together is when we eat the fish." Alice, however, has other ideas about Ralph and his lodge brothers worming their way out of taking the wives on the annual fishing trip. Ralph and Norton are desperate, so they angle for a way to leave Alice and Trixie behind. 1:30a (CC) #92 (aka #72) - “Songwriters”: To Alice's dismay, Ralph buys a piano thinking he and Norton can write a hit song and become rich. *: This episode has been edited HEAVILY. "Operation: Protest": (Clifford just cost Ralph his job at the bus company.) Clifford (making the "Peace" sign with his fingers): "Peace." Ralph (grabbing one of Cliff's fingers): "Alice, grab the other one and make a wish." "Boys and Girls Together": Alice: "If you go out one night and it's not your night out with Norton and you don't take me with you, when you get home, I won't be here." (Alice goes into the bedroom. Ralph walks over to the doorway to the bedroom.) Ralph: "Har-har-hardy-har-har!" "Movies Are Better Than Ever": (Ralph & Alice are at the pool hall.) Ralph: "This is how you chalk up your cue." Alice: "Well, that is the stupidest thing I ever heard of." Ralph: "YOU are the stupidest thing I ever heard of." "Champagne and Caviar": Mr. Marshall: "How did you get your job in the sewer?" Ed: "Just lucky I guess." "The Hypnotist Part 1": (The boys come home.) Ralph: "Shh! Alice is asleep." Ed: "What?" Ralph: "I said that Alice is asleep." Ed: "I can't hear you." Alice (from bedroom): "He said: 'Shh! Alice is asleep.'" "Norton Moves In" (Color version): Alice: "You and Norton will have to sleep out in the kitchen." Ralph: "Just a moment. Whenever you mother or your Aunt Ethel comes, I have to sleep in the kitchen. It's a good thing that we don't have a cat because if he ever wanted to sleep in the kitchen, I would have to sleep in a box out in the hall." "Unconventional Behavior": Ed: "Hey Ralph?" Ralph: "What?" Ed: "Mind if I smoke?" Ralph: "I don't care if you burn." "Young At Heart": (Ralph is talking about the fact that from now on, he will do all the things that young people do.) Ralph: "What's so funny?" Ed: "How could anybody so round, be so square?" "Young At Heart": Wallace: "I got a frantic hot rod that is ready to percolate." Ralph: "Frantic hot rod that is ready to percolate?" Wallace: "Yeah man. Aren't you hip? Don't you dig?" Ed: "No, I'm the one who digs. I work in the sewer." Credit goes to John K's Book To The Moon, the old honeymooners.net, sitcomsonline.com, tvguide.com, tvland.com, and zap2it.com.