Tuesday's Quotes: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 09-08-2009, 08:50 AM

"Two Men On A Horse Part 1":

(Jerry's Lunchroom has very few patrons in it.)

Ed: "After all, it was me who got all of my fellow sewerworkers coming to this place."

Jerry: "Yeah, and look what it did to my business."

"A Woman's Work Is Never Done":

Ralph: "He's (Ed's) my guest and I'm your employer."

Thelma: "Some guest and some employer. The SIMP and the BLIMP."

"A Dog's Life":

(Ralph brings some of Kram-Mar's Delicious Mystery Appetizer [aka dog food] to Mr. Marshall in a lunchbox.)

Ralph: "I have got in here something that is worth a million dollars."

Mr. Marshall: "Then you must have had a good day on the bus."

"$99,000 Answer":

Ralph: "$600! Peanuts, peanuts. What am I going to do with peanuts?"

Alice: "Eat 'em like any other elephant."

"Songwriters":

Ed: "I got to get up in the morning. I got a job to do."

Ralph: "I got a job to do too in the morning and you don't hear me complaining and I got responsibilities. If I fall asleep, I'm liable to run into something."

Ed: "If I fall asleep, I'm liable to drown."

"Flushing Ho":

(Ed comes out with a sailboat. Ralph wants to take a bath.)

Ralph: "You don't mean to tell me that you kept me waiting out here for 20 minutes while you were in there playing with a boat in the tub?"

Ed: "I'm sorry Ralph. This is a new boat. We were on the Shakedown Cruise!"

"The Loudspeaker":

Ralph: "Do you realize that at the annual clambake I have the honor of opening the first clam? And as we take our cruise up the Hudson River I get to go up to the bridge and steer - as we pass Raccoon Point."

Alice: "Well golly gee!"

"Boys and Girls Together":

Alice: "If you go out one night and it's not your night out with Norton and you don't take me with you, when you get home, I won't be here."

(Alice goes into the bedroom. Ralph walks over to the doorway to the
bedroom.)

Ralph: "Har-har-hardy-har-har!"

"Movies Are Better Than Ever":

(Ralph & Alice are at the pool hall.)

Ralph: "This is how you chalk up your cue."

Alice: "Well, that is the stupidest thing I ever heard of."

Ralph: "YOU are the stupidest thing I ever heard of."

"Rafitti, Brooklyn Style":

(It's Alice's birthday and Ralph has forgotten it.)

Alice: "Ralph, you do remember what today is?"

Ralph: "Sure, it's my pool night."

Alice's Mom: "See? He's good for nothing."

Ralph: "How do you know? You never saw me shoot pool."

09-08-2009, 08:50 AM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,067	Tuesday's Quotes: "Two Men On A Horse Part 1": (Jerry's Lunchroom has very few patrons in it.) Ed: "After all, it was me who got all of my fellow sewerworkers coming to this place." Jerry: "Yeah, and look what it did to my business." "A Woman's Work Is Never Done": Ralph: "He's (Ed's) my guest and I'm your employer." Thelma: "Some guest and some employer. The SIMP and the BLIMP." "A Dog's Life": (Ralph brings some of Kram-Mar's Delicious Mystery Appetizer [aka dog food] to Mr. Marshall in a lunchbox.) Ralph: "I have got in here something that is worth a million dollars." Mr. Marshall: "Then you must have had a good day on the bus." "$99,000 Answer": Ralph: "$600! Peanuts, peanuts. What am I going to do with peanuts?" Alice: "Eat 'em like any other elephant." "Songwriters": Ed: "I got to get up in the morning. I got a job to do." Ralph: "I got a job to do too in the morning and you don't hear me complaining and I got responsibilities. If I fall asleep, I'm liable to run into something." Ed: "If I fall asleep, I'm liable to drown." "Flushing Ho": (Ed comes out with a sailboat. Ralph wants to take a bath.) Ralph: "You don't mean to tell me that you kept me waiting out here for 20 minutes while you were in there playing with a boat in the tub?" Ed: "I'm sorry Ralph. This is a new boat. We were on the Shakedown Cruise!" "The Loudspeaker": Ralph: "Do you realize that at the annual clambake I have the honor of opening the first clam? And as we take our cruise up the Hudson River I get to go up to the bridge and steer - as we pass Raccoon Point." Alice: "Well golly gee!" "Boys and Girls Together": Alice: "If you go out one night and it's not your night out with Norton and you don't take me with you, when you get home, I won't be here." (Alice goes into the bedroom. Ralph walks over to the doorway to the bedroom.) Ralph: "Har-har-hardy-har-har!" "Movies Are Better Than Ever": (Ralph & Alice are at the pool hall.) Ralph: "This is how you chalk up your cue." Alice: "Well, that is the stupidest thing I ever heard of." Ralph: "YOU are the stupidest thing I ever heard of." "Rafitti, Brooklyn Style": (It's Alice's birthday and Ralph has forgotten it.) Alice: "Ralph, you do remember what today is?" Ralph: "Sure, it's my pool night." Alice's Mom: "See? He's good for nothing." Ralph: "How do you know? You never saw me shoot pool."