What would u say to your daughter.?If she wanted a baby at 15.or 17? - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

snowcreature23 · 08-20-2009, 09:01 PM

Hey,
I just wanted some advice....
I am only 17 years old.. but I do want a baby, due to the fact I guess of me feeling alot of emptyness in my life cause I dont really have a mother or a father that are their for me, I have one year left of grade 12 and I was going to finish that and than have a baby... I know I'd have support, but do you have any advice This was on the Muary board. What would u say???

PunkyP0WER · 08-20-2009, 09:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snowcreature23

Hey,
I just wanted some advice....
I am only 17 years old.. but I do want a baby, due to the fact I guess of me feeling alot of emptyness in my life cause I dont really have a mother or a father that are their for me, I have one year left of grade 12 and I was going to finish that and than have a baby... I know I'd have support, but do you have any advice This was on the Muary board. What would u say???

i don't think a baby is the answer to your problems. i think it'd be selfish to have a baby for the sole purpose of it keeping you company. it doesn't work that way. i actually considered this myself once shortly after my mom died, which was 10 years ago yesterday, because i felt so lonely. my dad was emotionally unavailable to me at this time and so i felt a baby was the answer. i knew a guy who was a friend of the family that was "willing" to help me. we had no romantic involvement at all and i was a complete virgin, never had a b/f before in my life, but i strongly considered having a baby with this man just to fulfill my own loneliness. luckily i came to my senses and didn't do anything foolish because looking back i was very unstable then and realize i would have brought a baby into that environment. i realized that i'd still have the same problems after the baby came but they would just be multiplied.i know you are 17 and in a year you'll legally be an adult but mentally you're still a baby. i know you will probably be upset by me saying that but believe me when i was 17 i thought i was an adult too. you'll be a baby having a baby and messing up any chance of a future for yourself. you have yet to experience life, to make important decisions, to discover your own self, to know what it is to rely on yourself - you have to learn these thing by trial and error and a baby shouldn't be included in that process of personal growth. i suggest since you're still in school to consult your school psychologist about the issues you're dealing with or try speaking to your parents about how you feel and what your plans are, maybe they'll wise up and pay you the attention you deserve.

gidgetgrape · 08-20-2009, 10:08 PM

Having a baby won't cure your loneliness. If anything you will fill even lonelier and stressed out, because you'll have this adoreable, but fussy creature demanding your attention 24 hours a day. You're thinking "We We We," but babies think, "Me Me Me." We won't even discuss how expensive they are, especially if yours gets sick or injured.

Have you considered working with children - either for pay or volunteering at a school or church? How about "adopting" a senior citizen at a retirement home? There are lots of people who don't have visitors who would love to chat it up on a regular basis with someone like you. Join some club (meetup.com), get out into the world, adopt a puppy, take an adult education class at a local college, or do something to help someone else out and you'll be helping yourself out even more. But, don't have a baby right now!

Brieannas21 · 08-20-2009, 10:56 PM

Having a baby at a young age will make you more lonely in my opinion. It is not the answer. Being a mother is a 24/7 JOB, with no sick days or sick pay. Until you are able to get a job, a place to live and able to take care of your self without struggles then I would say go ahead. Having a baby never makes anyone’s problems go away it magnifies them.

Doodyville10019 · 08-20-2009, 11:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snowcreature23

Hey,
I just wanted some advice....
I am only 17 years old.. but I do want a baby, due to the fact I guess of me feeling alot of emptyness in my life cause I dont really have a mother or a father that are their for me, I have one year left of grade 12 and I was going to finish that and than have a baby... I know I'd have support, but do you have any advice This was on the Muary board. What would u say???

Having a baby is definitely not the answer to this problem. There's so much of your life ahead of you - college, career, finding life on your own. Plus, how would you feel if the baby's father suddenly left or, worse still, had no feelings for either you or the baby anymore? Don't throw your life away - get yourself settled in a good job and a place you can call your own before even considering having a child. And, whatever you do, make sure that you conceive with a man that really and truly does love and care about you and the baby - it's not just your child - it's his, too.

Chocoholic · 08-20-2009, 11:27 PM

I agree with Kimberlee, Brieanna, and Gidget. I also have to add that, as a teacher's aide, I have seen my fair share of children who's parents had them for reasons similar to yours. It didn't make things any better for them and in some cases, their situations worsened. The ones hurt the most in cases like that are the child.

You should really talk to a therapist about your feelings. If you want to be around children, then maybe you could look into volunteer work somewhere or find work as a baby-sitter or something. Just please, DO NOT have a child until you are emotionally and financially ready for one.

catlover79 · 08-21-2009, 01:02 AM

I agree with everyone's comments here. Try getting a pet instead. You will still have a living creature to love and care for.

Darren J. · 08-21-2009, 01:31 AM

If my daughter said that, I'd staple her legs shut. A dog can give you all that, plus it's much easier to raise a dog than a child.

dawsongirl · 08-21-2009, 02:43 AM

Yeah, I'd tell her to get a dog or something.

I want to have a child too, and since I see no nothing in my future, I may adopt. However, I am 29 and I've learned a lot about kids working with them for 3 years. I'd also have support from my parents. This won't happen anytime soon because I would like to get full time first. I'm lonely too so my parents have also suggested a puppy. Who knows.

Anyway, babies shouldn't have babies. Nononononono!

Schmoopie · 08-21-2009, 04:00 AM

In no way should you even consider having a baby at 17. I'm guessing that you are either out of high school or getting ready to be in a year or so. Believe me, you'll regret it. Fortunately I can't speak from experience, but I decided back in my 20's, after working at one too many daycare centers that I do not want children. Everyone keeps telling me I'll change my mind but hey, I'll be 42 next month and if anything, my decision to not have kids has only grown stronger. A pet is the best answer here. I'm sorry to hear that you are having family problems and I understand that you need companionship. I would wait until you are at least in your 20's or else until you are in a good job and out of school, if you really want a baby. Plus, it would be a shame to find someone to help you conceive this baby and the relationship not work out. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I think that people who are committed enough to produce a child together need to be committed to their relationship as well.

In answer to your question, if I had a daughter, I would tell her the exact same thing that I'm posting here.

Furienna · 08-26-2009, 04:52 AM

I agree with the other posters. A baby isn't the answer to your problems, and you're too young to be a mother yet anyway. Wait a few years before you have a baby.

comedyfreak · 08-26-2009, 08:31 AM

Any teen wanting a baby should watch MTV's reality show about teen pregnancy, they follow the lives of pregant teens and shows how difficult having a baby really is and how it effects their lives, such as no more freedom to do your own thing like having fun.

sunshinefizzy · 08-26-2009, 12:09 PM

Well, I never was in a relationship during high school but I did tell dad that I would love to get married young and have children at a young age. Needless to say my dad was very concerned of that way of thinking, he told me I should just chill and enjoy being young while I still could. I get where he is coming from. Now that I am out of school and I caught a glimpse of the real world of at least health insurance and credit card bills, taking care of a child would seem impossible for me now.

08-20-2009, 09:01 PM	#1
snowcreature23 Jason is waiting. Forum Regular Join Date: Oct 16, 2007 Location: Kenai,Alaska. Posts: 758	What would u say to your daughter.?If she wanted a baby at 15.or 17? Hey, I just wanted some advice.... I am only 17 years old.. but I do want a baby, due to the fact I guess of me feeling alot of emptyness in my life cause I dont really have a mother or a father that are their for me, I have one year left of grade 12 and I was going to finish that and than have a baby... I know I'd have support, but do you have any advice This was on the Muary board. What would u say???
	__________________ JUST BELEIVE

08-21-2009, 01:02 AM	#7
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,392	I agree with everyone's comments here. Try getting a pet instead. You will still have a living creature to love and care for.
	__________________ "Jesus loves you and He approves this message." "I'm alive. I'm feeling good. I'm trying to live every moment as much as I can." - Valerie Harper, March 2013

08-21-2009, 04:00 AM	#10
Schmoopie Keep Calm and Love Snoopy Forum Star Join Date: Jul 13, 2008 Location: Lynnwood, Washington Posts: 15,697	In no way should you even consider having a baby at 17. I'm guessing that you are either out of high school or getting ready to be in a year or so. Believe me, you'll regret it. Fortunately I can't speak from experience, but I decided back in my 20's, after working at one too many daycare centers that I do not want children. Everyone keeps telling me I'll change my mind but hey, I'll be 42 next month and if anything, my decision to not have kids has only grown stronger. A pet is the best answer here. I'm sorry to hear that you are having family problems and I understand that you need companionship. I would wait until you are at least in your 20's or else until you are in a good job and out of school, if you really want a baby. Plus, it would be a shame to find someone to help you conceive this baby and the relationship not work out. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I think that people who are committed enough to produce a child together need to be committed to their relationship as well. In answer to your question, if I had a daughter, I would tell her the exact same thing that I'm posting here.
	__________________ In memory of my wonderful husband. I love and miss you more than words can say, but I will always and forever keep you in my heart. September 23, 1961-January 14, 2019

08-26-2009, 08:31 AM	#12
comedyfreak Cheers! Forum Fanatic Join Date: Dec 14, 2005 Location: Sunny California Posts: 11,061	Any teen wanting a baby should watch MTV's reality show about teen pregnancy, they follow the lives of pregant teens and shows how difficult having a baby really is and how it effects their lives, such as no more freedom to do your own thing like having fun.
	__________________ www.facebook.com/comedyfreak

08-20-2009, 10:08 PM	#3
gidgetgrape Forever Gidget Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 20, 2003 Location: Texas Posts: 3,508	Having a baby won't cure your loneliness. If anything you will fill even lonelier and stressed out, because you'll have this adoreable, but fussy creature demanding your attention 24 hours a day. You're thinking "We We We," but babies think, "Me Me Me." We won't even discuss how expensive they are, especially if yours gets sick or injured. Have you considered working with children - either for pay or volunteering at a school or church? How about "adopting" a senior citizen at a retirement home? There are lots of people who don't have visitors who would love to chat it up on a regular basis with someone like you. Join some club (meetup.com), get out into the world, adopt a puppy, take an adult education class at a local college, or do something to help someone else out and you'll be helping yourself out even more. But, don't have a baby right now!

08-20-2009, 10:56 PM	#4
Brieannas21 Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Apr 05, 2004 Location: Texas Posts: 9,792	Having a baby at a young age will make you more lonely in my opinion. It is not the answer. Being a mother is a 24/7 JOB, with no sick days or sick pay. Until you are able to get a job, a place to live and able to take care of your self without struggles then I would say go ahead. Having a baby never makes anyone’s problems go away it magnifies them.

08-20-2009, 11:27 PM	#6
Chocoholic Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 01, 2000 Location: Between a rock and a hard place. Posts: 11,235	I agree with Kimberlee, Brieanna, and Gidget. I also have to add that, as a teacher's aide, I have seen my fair share of children who's parents had them for reasons similar to yours. It didn't make things any better for them and in some cases, their situations worsened. The ones hurt the most in cases like that are the child. You should really talk to a therapist about your feelings. If you want to be around children, then maybe you could look into volunteer work somewhere or find work as a baby-sitter or something. Just please, DO NOT have a child until you are emotionally and financially ready for one.

08-21-2009, 01:31 AM	#8
Darren J. Member Forum Regular Join Date: Mar 19, 2009 Posts: 692	If my daughter said that, I'd staple her legs shut. A dog can give you all that, plus it's much easier to raise a dog than a child.

08-21-2009, 02:43 AM	#9
dawsongirl Member Forum Icon Join Date: Jan 04, 2001 Posts: 53,140	Yeah, I'd tell her to get a dog or something. I want to have a child too, and since I see no nothing in my future, I may adopt. However, I am 29 and I've learned a lot about kids working with them for 3 years. I'd also have support from my parents. This won't happen anytime soon because I would like to get full time first. I'm lonely too so my parents have also suggested a puppy. Who knows. Anyway, babies shouldn't have babies. Nononononono!

08-26-2009, 04:52 AM	#11
Furienna Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Oct 22, 2006 Location: Örnsköldsvik, Sweden Posts: 6,280	I agree with the other posters. A baby isn't the answer to your problems, and you're too young to be a mother yet anyway. Wait a few years before you have a baby.

08-26-2009, 12:09 PM	#13
sunshinefizzy Member Senior Member Join Date: Sep 27, 2006 Location: Craptown Posts: 2,054	Well, I never was in a relationship during high school but I did tell dad that I would love to get married young and have children at a young age. Needless to say my dad was very concerned of that way of thinking, he told me I should just chill and enjoy being young while I still could. I get where he is coming from. Now that I am out of school and I caught a glimpse of the real world of at least health insurance and credit card bills, taking care of a child would seem impossible for me now.