Full House Chronology - Full "history" behind this loving family

[DTF955]

Table of Contents:
Part/chapter Page #
Introductions
I. The Prehistoric Years - Coming To America
II. Tanner Courtship - Bay Side Story
1. Meetings and Impressions - Aug. 1972-May, 1976
2. Love and Marriage - May, 1976
III. The College Years- It’s Not Farrah!
1. My Girl - May 1976-Feb. 1977
2. Making It Through the Rain - March 1977-Dec. 1979
3. A Christmas to Remember - Dec. 1978
4. Jumping Jesse: A Sneaky Plan - March-June, 1980
IV. Making A House A Home – Apr., 1980-May 1987
1. Our Own House – Apr., 1980-Nov., 1983
2. Call of the Wild - Nov., 1983
3. By Any Other Name - 1984
Interlude - Point of Divergence, Book Universe picks up
on this date after end of TV Universe - Aug. 15, 1984
4. Mom Upside-Down is Wow - Sept. 1984-Nov. ‘86
5. If You Had One Day - Nov. 12, 1986-May 16, 1987
V. “Full House“: The TV Years - June 1987-May, 1995
Interlude - Dear Pen Pal - On Episodes
1. It’s Too Empty - May 1987-Oct., 1988
2. Houston, We Have a Problem - Nov. 1988--Sept. 1991
3. Born To Lead - Sept. 1991-May, 1995
By seasons - though only a little of the additional info is listed in the contents, much more in small or large pieces within chapters:
Season 1 - Birthdays, name change, Danny‘s dad, etc.
Season 2 - Yankee Doodles; Rocket; D.J. disciplines Michelle; Work problem; etc.
Season 3 - Story behind Comet; Nebraska Christmas; D.J.‘s plan; Brian; etc.
Season 4 - D.J. & Kimmy’s dangerous stunt; Rusty; etc.
Season 5 - Steph’s leadership; Smash Club closes & owner sickness; etc.
Season 6 - Kimmy‘s odd presidency; D.J. punishes Michelle; etc.
Season 7 - Steph’s Middle School activities; Mickey; Smash Club; etc
Season 8 - Vacation; college & career goals; Steph & Gia help each other; etc.
VI: The Love Just Keeps On Growing - May, 1995-Nov. 1999
1. Doing it Right This Time - June 1995-Sept. 1996
2. Cute Couples - Sept. 1996-Nov. 1999
VII. The Next Generation Begins – Nov. 1999-
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Interlude - Book Universes
VIII. The Fork in the Road - Aug. 1984-Mar., 1988
IX: I am My Sisters’ Mom - Mar., 1988-Aug. 1992
1. Maternal Instincts – Mar. 1988-Mar. 1990
2. Changing Times – Mar., 1990-Aug., 1992
Interlude - What Books Could Be Canon?
X: The Torch is Passed - Aug. 1992-May, 1995
1. Sam - Aug. 1992-Mar. 1993
2. A Great Team - Mar. 1993-May 1995
XI: Taking the Lead: May 1995-Jan. 1998
1. Books and Businesses: May, 1995-May, 1996
2. Smoothing the Bumps in the Road - May, 1996-Jan. 1998
XII: Mom is Where the Heart Is
1. Family Foundation: Jan. 1998-June, 2000
2. Wind Beneath My Wings: June, 2000-onward



TANNER FAMILY CHRONICLES – A FULL HOUSE CHRONOLOGY


The story of the Tanners from 1940-2007, and onward


Based on the TV series Full House



No claim is made on any “Full House” characters, places, names, or other items that are the sole property of the owners of “Full House.” The character of and concepts surrounding Samantha Lynne Burke are the property of Paul Austin of Australia. Any other original characters or concepts are property of the author. All right to “Full House” characters, places, names, and other indicia remains with their original owners. Any resemblance to real people, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

This is a work of fiction designed to fill in gaps in the timeline of “Full House,” explain what happened between scenes and episodes, plus before and after the series, and explain parts that may cause confusion - in other words, show how things weave together so almost every so-called mistake is shown to not be one at all. So please, run a search on any episode or question you have, you should find it.

Is it canon? The answer to almost all of it is “yes.” Explanations are all workable and quite plausible. Footnotes are used for these, as well as to refer to episodes. In numerous cases the explanation given is the only one possible. A few - with two or more possibilities - were guessed at, or fan consensus was used. However, almost all of this should be considered canon for “Full House.” It fits the wholesome premise and characters using ordinary processes of deduction. All are invited and urged to accept post-series parts as canon, also, as well as urging Warner Brothers to do the same.

[DTF955]

I. THE PREHISTORIC YEARS - COMING TO AMERICA - 1940-1969

Okay, not truly pre-historic; that would be the Flintstones. But, it‘s prehistoric in that it‘s only a year after the 1939 World‘s Fair and the demonstration of television. It speaks of some events that happen well before Danny and Pam were born, and wind up being quite important in numerous ways.
War raged on two continents, and Hitler and his madmen had begun to overrun Western Europe. Greece trembled at the prospect of Italian or German attack. The miraculous evacuation of troops at Dunkirk had recently occurred, and Winston Churchill vowed that the British would never surrender.
In this setting, a vibrant Christian, full of life, named Georgios Katsopolous wed his sweetheart, Gina, in the summer of 1940. She was a lovely young lady, he was a widower with a daughter, Larissa. Larissa’s mother died in childbirth in 1935, and he was very devoted to his little girl. Larissa didn’t mind his beard, but Gina did, so he shaved it.1 Larissa remained in Greece, married, and bore several children, including the cousin that named Jesse godfather of his daughter, Melina.
The songwriter was right - the world will always welcome lovers. The couple celebrated life even in the midst of great hardship. Georgios, known better to viewers as Papouli, was drafted when the Italians invaded that fall, but not before he and his wife conceived a baby boy named Nick. Nicholas comes from a word meaning “victorious people.” They considered themselves victorious even in the midst of turmoil.
Despite such positive thoughts, 1940s Greece was not the best place to raise a child. It featured incredibly gut-wrenching strife and turmoil, like a century of Jerry Springer shows rolled into one. The Greeks fought off the Italians, the Germans conquered Greece, and even before their liberation a civil war erupted. Order was finally restored in 1949, four years after World War Two ended. When asked what kind of varmints were the toughest he ever had to get rid of, Papouli - an exterminator - always joked that, “The Nazi infestation of 1941 was filled with the worst kind of vermin you could imagine. They were by far the toughest, they took years to stop.”
The fighting kept him away from home a lot, and left Nick without a father figure. This, combined with enemy hostility, bombing, and fighting near his home town left Nick with two things. One was an anger problem that resulted in lots of yelling, because Nick had become so good at bottling things up till he felt he could let loose. The other was an intense desire to go to America, the land of opportunity.
Papouli and Gina settled in San Francisco with Nick in 1956. Once they arrived, officials - as sometimes happened with foreign names - mixed up the spelling as they applied for things. This, by the way, is how names changed, if the person didn’t choose to Americanize it. It wasn't just getting off the boat; places like Ellis Island went by the ship’s passenger list, though some were misspelled on those lists.
Here, the family was listed as “Katsopolis.” The bureaucrat working for Social Security though of Metropolis, Superman’s home. The family name was now Katsopolis, though “-olis” is the ending for a city. Papouli let it slide, laughing it off as he often did with trouble. They all kept that spelling.
Papouli and Gina planned to return when things were more plentiful in Greece - they loved their mother country, and their families were there. Nick couldn‘t just wait and come to America right out of school, though. It was much easier to come if one already had a skill, or at least a sponsor. So, Papouli worked and helped Nick start his own extermination business once Nick graduated from high school.
Nick had learned English in anticipation of coming to the United States. He read and studied constantly, because he had a zest for conquering whatever came his way. By overcoming obstacles, he felt he was getting rid of those demons that haunted him from his early years. However, that also meant somewhat shunning his native culture - he didn‘t even want to speak Greek in the family home in San Francisco.
This is where Irene enters the picture. She had a similar zest for life. When she met Nick Katsopolis, in December, 1957 - the day Elvis was drafted2 - she was four years older and already married.3 Nick was assisting Papouli in doing extermination work in the apartment where Irene and her husband lived. She was twenty, and would soon celebrate becoming pregnant with Pam. Her parents were immigrants from elsewhere.
A tragic worksite accident happened in late fall of 1958. Suddenly, Irene was a widow. Papouli and Gina quickly offered whatever support she might need. It was the right thing to do for a young widow.
Nick had persevered through hard times. When she told Nick, then still just a casual friend, he’d opened his arms and let her cry on his shoulder. He continued to assist her, and they found they liked each other after a while. Nick wanted to know when the time was right to make his move and start dating her.
As it turned out, he didn’t have to wait - time spent with him was a welcome break for Irene. She’d leave Pam with her parents or with Papouli and Gina, and go out for a nice dinner. Before they knew it, they were falling in love. They argued quite a bit at times. But, they were careful never to do it in front of the children, and if they did, they made a rule - never walk away angry. They would violate that rule in later years, but only after Pam was well into her teenage years and not very impressionable.
Nick’s fiery nature led to an unyielding desire to succeed. He started his own exterminating business in 1961. Once it was going for a year, he knew he could support Irene and Pam. Now, it was time to pop the question. She said yes! He later felt he’d rushed things - he was only 21 when they married, she 25. However, while the age difference was not a traditional one for people their age, they still made the best of it. They married in April, 1962. Hermes - who later went by a middle name of Jesse - was born the following April.4
For them to be able to afford their own home, Irene worked for a while. She was an operator. This job has mostly disappeared, but long before the Internet, people needed a way to get phone numbers really fast. The “0” on the telephone - which back then was the last digit in a counterclockwise circle - was the one people dialed to get Irene. They had to say, “Please provide the number for Pete’s Pizza Palace,” and she would give it after a few seconds of trying to understand a real tongue twister like that.
Of course, if the number wasn’t listed, she would have to say it was unlisted - but Pete wouldn’t sell much pizza that way, so she’d always be able to find Pete’s Pizza Palace, even if she had trouble saying it. Nobody delivered then, so the caller would have to go get it. That was okay, though, because the cars back then were so cool!
Irene was almost always home when Pam got home from school. Papouli and Gina were there to take care of Pam in the summer, and of Hermes all day, till 1967. Then, Irene quit her job; the family felt well off enough she didn’t have to work. They bought a house and moved in early March of 1968.
Papouli was always Greek in his heart. He longed to return, while Nick had adopted America as his own. So, in 1968, Papouli and Gina went back to Greece
More importantly, in 1968, young Danny Tanner and best friend Joey Gladstone lived in San Francisco. They went to school together - ironically the same as Jesse and Pam for a month, till Nick and Irene moved their family in March. They all attended the same high school. Danny was a good athlete who wrestled and lettered in track. Joey loved sports, but mostly when mixed with comedy; he was the mascot.5
Danny and Joey came from families of turmoil. Joey‘s parents were always fighting, even after they got divorced. He’d moved into the district from where his dad had been stationed for a couple years. His mom was frustrated, and really didn’t want to move again; his dad was in the military and they moved often. Joey had recently come from Detroit. 6 Danny‘s parents had divorced and his mother recently remarried,7 with the kids changing their last names to match their step-dad’s, Tanner.
The two met February 23, 1968.8 Joey’s family almost moved away, making Danny very nervous about losing his friend - he hated change. Danny considered the friendship to have begun the date he learned it was certain that Joey would stay in the area.9 When Joey’s parents divorced, his mom looked for and found a job in San Francisco. His dad stayed after the divorce for a couple years, to try and help, but finally left for good. Joey stayed at Danny’s while his mom worked.
Nick didn’t pass down lots of Greek customs, as he considered himself an American first and foremost. Pam copied this, too, wanting to be like her parents, though Jesse was a bit more interested in Greek things. However, Pam loved spending time with Papouli and Gina, anyway. They had been watching her since she was a baby, till she was a preteen. Pam enjoyed writing, an ability she passed down to D.J., or just playing with neighborhood kids like all three girls enjoyed, too; she had many pursuits for when her parents did argue a lot. She tried to help when this happened, while Jesse stirred things up, trying to play them off each other to get what he wanted. The siblings, as some are at times, were simply very different in that regard.
Papouli’s early influence shaped Pam quite a bit – it may not have shaped her when it came to customs, but it did when it came to a great love for life and family.


1 “Greek Week”
2 “Our First Christmas Show” - it says they met that day, nothing more
3 A split decision requiring the quoting of the plurality opinion, which is also plausible, this one time.
“The majority based its decision of Irene having been married once before on: 1. Many fans complain that Jesse and Pam don’t look like siblings, and Pam’s girls look more like Pam; 2. Melina looks Greek and different from Michelle, despite having the “same face’; 3. Pam’s apparent good nature versus Jesse’s, making her seem less affected by parental fighting, and her not engaging in Greek customs; and, 4. Nick and Irene having conceived Pam before marriage is against the morals of “Full House.” We dissent.
“We feel the bevy of fans claiming Pam “doesn’t look anything like Jesse, Nick, or Irene” and thus cannot be from Greek ancestry misinterpret the genetic factors. It is possible for Pam to have blonde hair and be Greek, as there are dominant and recessive genes. The dominant ones would cause her to have a somewhat darker complexion and look more like Jesse. However, it’s entirely plausible recessive genes, which do not appear consistently, could cause Pam to be born with looks that more closely resemble her and Danny’s girls. She would then pass them on. It is also possible, though less so, that Irene dyed her hair. As to Melina looking more Greek than Michelle, she still appeared similar enough that Joey talked about them being “identical cousins.” While he is a jokester and it’s true that “everyone has a twin” (because of those recessive genes coming out), we believe Pam could have been Greek.
“As to her nature and customs, it is quite possible for siblings to be of very different natures, one rebellious, one very docile. Note that Nick might have been much more docile were it not for the war. Also, even if she saw them fighting from the beginning, she could always spend time with Papouli and Gina and a few years after they leave meet Danny, thereby avoiding the biggest battles. While Jesse would enjoy egging them on, Pam would retreat to a shade tree and write (D.J.’s and somewhat Stephanie’s talent) or play sports with neighbor girls or boys (like Steph and Michelle). Plus, if Papouli is the immigrant, and Nick considers himself a first-generation American, then surely the Greek influence would go down with her, anyway. The real issue is that Danny and the girls don’t do anything Greek. And, that can easily be explained by it reminding them of Pam’s death except in spurts like when Papouli comes. It is also not certain that Pam followed Greek customs less than Jesse – though granted it is just as likely neither followed them to a great extent.
“We believe it more plausible that Nick and Irene conceived and were forced to marry, as it wouldn’t markedly affect Pam, as shown above. True, it is not the normal morals of “Full House,” but there is already one Kathy Santoni, why not another? What Irene says to Pam later in this Chronology is typical of what mothers think if a daughter elopes and marries like that, that doesn’t show one way or the other. The majority makes good points, and dominant genes being dominant, the “Pam from a first marriage” argument is compelling. However, the early deaths by accident seem a bit too coincidental.
“Nothing would change substantially if Nick and Irene conceived Pam and were forced to marry; nothing at all in the TV years and later. Indeed, it’s interesting that so few people considered that Pam could have been adopted, which would explain her not looking like Irene or Nick, but that would still require a somewhat quick marriage. Either way, we respectfully dissent from the majority.”
4 “The Legend of Ranger Joe” - Jesse was a middle name, as it‘s unlikely they’d think of it otherwise. The “Pal Joey” flashback has him called Jesse in 1968 in preschool, when he wasn‘t quite five, but he could have asked to be called Jesse for a while to avoid being teased, with Kindergarten the “last straw” that caused him to go by Jesse for good.
5 “Lovers and Other Tanners,” (Danny was the “Steel String Bean”) and “Divorce Court,” Joey was “Ollie, the Fighting Oyster.”
6 Hence Joey’s love of Detroit sports teams - the actor often wears Red Wings and Tigers replica jerseys, and since he had a choice the character was meant to, also. Military families move a lot at times but they lived in Detroit when he formed his bond with favorite sports teams.
7 On TV, later facts are almost always canon, as characters are established more. Here, Danny told Rusty in “Terror In Tanner Town” his parents were divorced, probably around Rusty’s age because he understands what Rusty’s going through as a kid. He clearly had a dad as a teen in the story he told in “Ol’ Brown Eyes,” also 4th season. D.J. referred to him as Grandpa, though he could be deceased and she simply knew him when he was living. His mom mentions a divorce in “Granny Tanny.”
She could have had two divorces, but likely didn’t want to mention one reason she was unattached was she was a widow. The memory would make her sadder. She wouldn’t bring up a 20-year-old divorce unless it was to avoid mentioning something else; almost no woman divorced over 20 years earlier would mention that she was. And yet, if it was a more recent divorce, she wouldn’t add her kids were grown, because she wouldn’t have had to raise her kids while divorced.
A much less likely approach is that she moved and the dad had custody of the children in San Francisco. Fathers almost never got custody in those days, and there was almost never joint custody. It seems like Danny’s mom was always there, so a divorce elsewhere and remarriage is what happened.
8 “Pal Joey”
9 “Mad Money” - logic that fits Danny well and explains the different dates. Joey’s parents must have divorced after the move, else why would Mindy move too, but very soon after, as his dad says in “Viva Las Joey” he stuck around a while. Something, likely Joey’s trouble in a new school and his dad’s reaction, was the last straw once they moved there. Mindy almost moves with Joey months later, his dad stays a couple years, then it’s almost 20 years since they speak, as noted in late 1990 “Viva Las Joey.”

[DTF955]

II. TANNER COURTSHIP - BAY SIDE STORY
1. Meetings and Impressions - Late August, 1972
Danny:
I wasn’t looking for love that first day of tenth grade. I was thinking about how nice and orderly shapes were with their beautifully symmetrical patterns.
Then, she walked in and sat. Her blonde hair sparkled in the sunlight. Her eyes were the most beautiful blue I could have imagined. People worried I’d challenge Strom Thurmond’s filibustering record if I were elected to Student Council; I even distracted opponents by talking while wrestling. But, here, I was speechless.
Finally, I squeaked out a request for a slide rule. Once she handed it to me, I managed to spout, “Danny Tanner. That is, that’s my name. I wasn’t calling you Danny; that would be silly.”
I found another thing to fall in love with then - her laugh. It was a delightful, innocent, fun-loving giggle that said she appreciated me, even if I had just made a fool of myself. Yes, even when I did a second later. She introduced herself, and I said nervously, “Wow, your name sounds like it should be in a spelling bee.”
“I’ll spell it for you later,” she said with a chuckle, shushing me as the teacher was trying to get our attention. I didn’t mind that - I liked a girl who followed the rules. In fact, my greatest love in grade school was being the hall monitor.
I’d had crushes before, of course. My best friend Joey and I each liked the same girl, Barbra Anne, last year. She got tired of us feuding over her. We called years later to ask about it. She told us she just pretended to like both of us to make Jesse jealous.10 Of course, he was years younger, but when we told Stephanie, she told us the rest of the story. This lady had a niece in the Honeybees with Stephanie. The girls had talked, and, this woman learned we were raising my girls together. So, when Joey and I called, she used that to hint that she didn’t want to be bothered. It was pretty clever.

Joey:
Danny can get way off track. Let me get us back. We met after school on the basketball court, though he had no time to play. Thanks to Pam, our one-on-ones were history. We‘d play on teams, but not individual one-on-one, after late July, 1972.11
He asked me to quiz him on a word. I thought it was the city where catsup was first made. He answered, “It’s the name of the most fabulous girl in the world,” then said what Pam told him about how some bureaucrat changed their spelling when they came.
Pam was new in the school, in 9th grade. Elementary schools went from Kindergarten through 8th back then where we lived; they changed to K-6th with Junior High in 7th and 8th in 1974, just before Jesse got there. Pam was bright enough to take a 10th grade math class. This was before advanced placement courses in our school, so she moved up a grade in one subject. Unfortunately, Nick pushed Jesse the same way.

Jesse:
I already disliked school by this time. And, you know why? It wasn’t because I was really struggling yet. It was because my father pushed me so hard.
See, here’s what happened. I should have been 18 and graduating in June of 1981, because my birthdate was April of 1963.12 Well, my dad saw Pam doing really well early in elementary school being born in late fall. So, guess what? He tells himself, “Pam will be 16 when she starts her senior year, and only 17 when she graduates. Jesse can do the same thing. He’s got to have the same tenacious spirit I did.” Having Danny around later probably made it worse. He was past our December first cutoff date,13 but bright enough in ‘67 he tested at a 5th grade level before coming out here. They had him skip from 3rd to 5th for the ‘67-68 school year, so he and Joey wound up in 5th together.
Anyway, Dad pushed me right past second grade into third. It was just like when he pushed me so hard in Little League I ended up quitting.14
Well, okay, there’s another reason. I have to admit, part of it was because I was such a jerk back then. I started fighting a lot in Kindergarten and first.15 So, Dad told the principal, “This will cure Jesse of his fighting. Suddenly he won’t be bigger than most kids in his class, he’ll be smaller.” Well, what Pop didn’t comprehend was, I could never hurt smaller kids anyway, so it didn’t affect my fighting at all.
See, I always had a soft side. I just didn’t want to admit it. Part of it was Dad’s and some of Papouli’s stories about growing up in Greece, the terrible war over there, and how it affected the kids. Also, my dad took me to the Salvation Army to feed the needy one year for Christmas.16
Fighting is never right no matter what size the kid is. I know that now. I’m just saying that was my attitude back then. Moving me up didn’t cure it. By the time my sister met Danny, I was a real rebel. My dad didn‘t understand they had a December first cutoff date for a reason. I was nine and four months. Pam was a few months shy of fifteen.

Pam:
I liked Danny right away. He was so honest, so outgoing, even when sounding goofy like with the spelling bee comment. I could tell he was anxious, so while I didn’t ask him out, I gave him an opening by offering to talk later. After class, I handed him a paper with my name on it, and we conversed a little.
I loved how he wore his heart on his sleeve, but in a positive way, not like Dad. He was just so happy about things, and loved to hug.
That’s the way I liked to be. I always said, “Smiles are free, so give them away.”17 I was a lot like my Greek grandparents in that way. I tried to influence Jesse to do the same. He was already more willing to listen to me than he was to our parents. Of course, that didn‘t mean much sometimes, with how he hated rules.
Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t perfect. I’d do little things like stick carrots up Jesse’s nose; and believe me, it wasn’t to discipline him, though it became like that. I was good overall, but I knew God expected perfection, and gave Himself because I couldn’t be perfect on my own, though I tried to be since I wanted to be the best.
I received Jesus Christ as my Savior by pure faith at the age of nine. My friend Judy invited me to her church in first grade, and I kept going with her family. Mom and Dad weren‘t involved in a church, especially not Greek Orthodox because they speak Greek sometimes there and Dad was determined to always speak English.
I could have received that gift at home, I just happened to be in a church. I truly accepted His death and resurrection were for me; He had me on His mind when He went to the cross, as well as every other person ever. So, I repented - agreed with God that my sin kept me from entering Heaven and I needed Him to save me – and trusted Him to do it. Once I did that, He changed me on the inside so I could go to His perfect Heaven.
Danny professed that, too, but he always seemed more interested in cleaning. He was nuts about that, the only teenage boy I ever heard of who spent much of his spare time doing it. I didn’t mind, though. I wrote in my diary that if he was the one for me, I’d be way ahead, because he’d be willing to do chores most men wouldn’t.


10 “The Heartbreak Kid”
11 “Pal Joey” says they last played July 29, 1972, and implies one-on-one, not with others.
12 “I’m There For You, Babe,” he turns 26 in April, 1989
13 “The Big Three-O,” sstill cutoff date in the ‘80s and ‘90s in California, which they used on the show
14 “Wrong Way Tanner”
15 “A Pinch For A Pinch”
16 “A Very Tanner Christmas”
17 “Goodbye, Mr. Bear”

[DTF955]

Danny - Sept. 9, 1972:
I met Pam’s parents today. They seemed really nice. They didn’t mind I was basically a year older than Pam.18 They could tell I always wanted to do the right thing. I came in to pick Pam up, and she was in the bathroom and running late. So, I dusted a little for them.
Jesse, of course, was a loudmouth. I’d heard stories about how he was always getting sent to the principal. Kids talked, and you learned pretty fast who the problems were, the ones you stayed away from. Jesse wasn’t the type who would pick on little kids and take their lunch money, or join a gang later - Pam made sure of that as much as Nick and Irene. But, he was the type who would pick fights just to show who was tougher.
I was concerned for Jesse - he didn’t seem to have any direction in life, and his main purpose - other than loving Elvis and keeping his hair perfect - was to goof off.

Pam:
Danny tried to persuade Jesse not to be such a rebel. He really wanted to get through to him. For instance, once, early in our relationship, he asked why Jesse picked fights if that would mess up his hair. Jesse quickly retorted, “I perfected the movie technique of fighting while keeping your hair perfect.”
After a while, Danny gave up trying to get through to him. It wasn’t that Danny deemed him hopeless. He merely knew something special would be needed to alter him. Only snippets of it showed in Jesse even after we began raising a family. Sensing those snippets showed what a great judge of character Danny could be.

Joey:
Pam had a special way of dealing with Jesse. She was quite clever at tricking him. She would stick carrots up his nose if he was really wild later, though that started out as just her being playful. Jesse eventually thought the “carrot and stick approach” meant if you didn’t stick to your word, you got carrots up your nose.
Pam was always there for Jesse when he did wrong. She was usually the first one he’d confess to if he’d done something bad. She would almost always be there to calmly talk to him after Nick had screamed his head off.

Pam:
Dad had a temper. It never affected me, though. For one thing, I was always quite well behaved. Also, in my formative years Mom and Dad still tried not to argue in front of us, or at least not to leave the room mad. The problem was, after years of complaining, if either wouldn‘t budge or even talk, things built up so it was impossible to hold it in till we weren‘t around. And, usually, it was Dad who wouldn’t budge. He could be stubborn, too, like Jesse.
As Jesse continued to get wilder, he agitated Dad more. Dad therefore got angrier, and less willing to give Jesse slack. By this time I was a teen, and hanging out with friends or Danny. But, Dad’s temper affected Jesse, and he rebelled more.19
Thankfully, Dad would never hit - that was carved in stone, then the stone placed in a special oven and hardened to the strength of titanium. He told me once he realized what he could do if he was too angry, and so stuck to using his words. After all, he’d lived with conquerors and rebels in Greece who hit with bullets when angry.

Danny:
I knew Nick didn’t have the best situation, growing up with filthy invaders and such. He’d overcome that very well, all things considered.
I disliked that anger, but there were positive aspects to Nick. He never drank - he knew from Papouli’s stern warnings and stories that drinking could make him too angry to remember how to control himself. He never hit. And, he always calmed down eventually. That’s something Pam and I both tried to stress to Jesse. We got through to him a little. But, there were still things he rebelled against her on, too. He knew she’d always love him, no matter what, though.
That’s the kind of thing Pam and I wanted in our lives, in our children - we wanted to encourage that unconditional love. It’s what Jesse wanted, too, when it came right down to it. He just wanted to do his own thing all the time.

Jesse:
Sometimes I wonder if I would have turned out differently if my dad had been calmer? I want to say yes, but I have to be honest. I didn’t rebel because of my dad. I rebelled because I wanted to be tough. I wanted my own way with everything, though I ended up a bit like him in some ways.
When he started to get upset, that made me rebel even more. I was a pretty big rebel by the time he started to scream a lot, though. His first real screaming fit, I think I was about ten or eleven, and Danny and Pam were already dating. I’d done something really bad, and he was at the end of his rope. I really think he didn’t know what to do, so he just started shouting.
I walked out, and went over to Danny’s. I knew Pam would be there. I hung out with them for a while, till Dad called and said he was done. He’d just kept screaming for twenty minutes even though I’d left, so he could let off some steam.
From that time on, he’d sometimes just walk away if he simply wanted to yell. Still, he didn’t always do this, and that made me tune him out more. Mom and Dad were arguing more by this time, and I was just too good at playing them off each other. I’ve got to give Dad credit, though; he was determined enough never to walk out for good.
As much as I wanted to tune Pam out sometimes, I had to admit she was pretty smart. She knew what life was about, and deep down, I wanted to do what she said. I acted like I didn’t need that. But, would I ever be wrong!

18 “Prom Night”
19 “Joey Gets Tough” - Jesse was grounded for most of the 1970s; also may be evidence for his parents never hitting, but grounding him instead

[DTF955]

2. LOVE AND MARRIAGE - May, 1976
Danny:
Pam and I had gone together for almost four years. Seven years, three months, and - well, you don’t need to know the days - since Joey and I met in 5th grade, we graduated in 1975. I took Pam to my prom in ‘75, and to hers the next year. We’d confided all our hopes, all our dreams, all our fears, all our joys. We were like a jigsaw puzzle where you know the two pieces fit.

Pam:
My senior prom was May 1, 1976. Ours were the first Saturday in May, so the Court got their picture into the back of the yearbook, and seniors could rest before the hectic pace of graduation. Plus, springtime was beautiful in San Francisco.
Danny and I were so excited! I felt like Cinderella, except my clock would never strike midnight - it hadn‘t even after going to Danny‘s prom. While Jesse was running around with all these girls, Danny and I merrily flew around the city like the two sweetest lovebirds you ever saw.
Unfortunately, we were too lovestruck. We were both determined to remain pure, and we did. However, we didn’t want to wait any longer for marriage.

Joey:
Danny and Pam stunned me early that evening at a pre-prom dinner. “We’re going to elope,” Pam whispered excitedly.
Of course, I did the natural thing for me. I joked apologetically, “Sorry, but I’m not an ordained minister.” Once Pam was done laughing, I asked if they were serious.
“Very - Joey, we’ve never been more certain about anything,” Danny proclaimed.
I’d do anything for a friend. “Okay, so you want me to go with you?” They did. “How will we explain to our parents?”
“I’ve got it all set - your mom and our folks think we booked two motel rooms in my name. Which we did, just in Nevada. We get there, sleep in separate rooms before the wedding, then get married.” I wavered. “Come on, Joey, you know how close we are.”
“Joey, this is the perfect thing for Danny and I. I mean, we know each other inside and out. If we know we‘re getting married in a few years, why wait till then?” Pam asked, bouncing with excitement.
“Well…” A more mature friend would have asked about living arrangements, work, college, and so on. But, I preferred simple fun and honesty that comes with being a kid, or at least acing childlike. Besides, Pam’s friend Judy asked her about those things, and she seemed satisfied. So I quickly agreed. I was Danny‘s witness, Judy was Pam‘s.

Danny – Still a little wild in college:
I had everything set - we’d been talking about this for weeks. As it would turn out, eloping would be the worst mistake we ever made.20 Not because we didn’t get along; we remained great friends till the day she died. We experienced money troubles that forced me to take a year longer in college, though. We didn’t realize the challenge of raising a family. I was very organized, but that wasn‘t enough.
Also, I still had youthful lusts, and tried to impress young ladies in college; never anything big, just funny things like that I created the TV show “The Love Boat.”21 I felt bad right away every time I did it after we got married. But, trying to impress ladies was just my hormones. Pam was always very forgiving, though, and I always remained faithful. I never touched or kissed another woman once I met her. Impressing girls was just to make them notice me, and Joey and I knew some were too young, anyway.
Joey stuck by me in college. He looked at women with me just enough to keep me from going crazy. Then, if I went too far in thinking about one, he’d remind me Pam was waiting. What a guy! He knew just how much I could handle without going overboard. He might be a little nutty sometimes, but times like that demonstrate why it’s important to have a special friend to help you, and to hold you accountable. And, why it’s important to listen to that friend.

Pam:
We got to Nevada, and Joey joked about forgetting to get a ladder. He asked if there was a hardware store open at 3 AM. He kept us laughing that whole time.
Danny was such a romantic. Once we checked into the rooms, guys in one, ladies in another, he put a handkerchief over his eyes. “It’s bad luck for me to see you the day of our wedding,” he quipped.
I told him to wait till we found a good chapel. Then he could do that if he wanted. Even then, I don’t think that superstition was ever used with eloping.
We slept in our prom outfits, having been able to get the rooms because Danny had money saved up from his allowance. We awakened to a beautiful sunrise. Danny commented that it was the perfect symbol for our marriage.

Danny:
We were young, inexperienced kids who felt there was nothing beyond the prom but marriage; the prom was our last “date” ever.22 We’d needed time to be engaged, but we didn’t think about that. We simply placed those rings on each other’s fingers, walked out into the beautiful, fresh air, and shouted with glee.

Pam:
It was so exciting! I couldn’t believe what I’d done - I kept shrieking, “I’m married, I’m married!” It’s every little girl’s dream, to meet that special someone who’s going to sweep you off your feet - and in Danny’s case, sweep everything else up, too. But, being kids still, only here did we recognize a major problem.
How would we tell our parents?

Danny:
I called Nick and Irene and told them to meet at my parents’ house that afternoon. They figured I’d announce our engagement - I had asked Nick’s permission, and that would have been the smart thing to do, get engaged first.
However, I could never keep a secret very well. I was too nervous, too excited, or too stupid when Pam was on that pay phone telling my parents we had an announcement. I blurted out in the background, “We’re married!”

Pam:
I was just as excited as Danny. I’ve always been that way. So, the shock of what Danny had blurted didn’t hit me till after I copied, “Yes, I’m married!” Danny started to sweat, then took the phone and tried to talk to his mom while big blobs of perspiration came down my forehead. I realized I‘d better tell my parents, too. So, I borrowed some money from Judy for my own long distance call. It was the craziest scene - we must have looked like buffoons in wrinkled prom outfits at that pay phone along the highway, with very little for miles around. But, that’s what being young and in love does sometimes.

Danny:
Once we got my folks calmed down a little, we called Nick and Irene back, and told them the truth. I could hear Nick - “Is this what you really want?” “With all my heart,” Pam exclaimed. Irene asked, “Are you sure you’re not doing this because you have to?” We both assured her that we hadn’t slept together, which was true.
Nick thanked me for at least having the guts to call back. I sensed lots of emotion, but he just went out and did a primal scream, so he was calm by the time we got back. He would have preferred hearing in person. However, once my mom knew, he could see why we’d called back. Both of them were still upset, of course. Jesse was still sleeping, and he’d be the toughest one to tell.

Jesse:
I was shocked when they got home and told me - I didn’t know what to do. So I tried to wrestle Danny and get him in a headlock. He was pretty good, he’d been on the wrestling team. My efforts looked more like street fighting or ice hockey, I wasn‘t sure which, and he accidentally broke a rib.23
The crazy thing was, I couldn’t explain why I was so upset. I loved the guy. I knew they’d be happy together. And, having Pam out of there meant I didn’t have to worry about her bossing me around. I guess it was how I always turned to her for stuff, even though I didn‘t like to turn to anyone, really. It was the same way with women, I figured I’d be the one to find a girlfriend, I’d make one fall in love with me, and, well, I wasn’t even close to thinking about the future and marriage yet. I wouldn’t have those thoughts till after she died, sadly, so she never could help me with that here.
I can’t help but imagine her asking God for a girlfriend for me up in Heaven, though. There’s little things I see in Becky, like the way she gets when she’s trying to make me see a point, that seem so much like Pam, I can’t help but think at times that Pam sent her to me. But, that’s getting way, way ahead of ourselves.
In the end, knowing I had to accept it, I got up and tried to dust myself off. The problem was, Danny’s such a neat freak he dusted me off for me. Finally, I walked over to Pam. Sighing, I put my hands in my pockets and mumbled, “Congratulations, Sis. You’re gonna make a great mom.”
Then, I just kept doing my own thing. It didn’t matter what my dad said. I didn’t know where to go from here. But, I would find out less than a week later.

Pam:
Danny and Joey roomed together in a freshman dorm at San Francisco State.24 We finally agreed to move in with Danny‘s parents and younger sister, and try to find an apartment close to campus. There would be less commotion than at my house. Besides, Danny insisted that the woman is supposed to leave her home.
I have to admit, as we started moving my stuff, I didn’t know what I was getting into, especially thinking about an apartment later. Still, Danny’s parents promised we could stay as long as we needed.
In fact, she’d heard rumors that her job might transfer up to Tacoma. Her second husband - Danny called him “Dad,” he was far closer to him - could always get part-time work, though he was kind of weak. Danny confided that he threw like a girl, though he’d told everyone else his dad hurt his arm in the war.25

Danny - Danny‘s siblings:
My mom and biological dad divorced in 1965; he‘d worked really long hours and was almost never home. She met the man I called Dad six months later. In the summer of 1967, they married and we came to San Francisco, though with no flowers in our hair. My oldest brother and oldest sister stayed behind so she could attend her last year of high school. She eventually moved to Baltimore, married, and had one child, Steve.26 We had a large family, but except for Wendy all wound up in the eastern U.S.. Once Wendy moved out, we only really saw each other at Tanner family reunions.27
I kept that conservatism and work ethic from when we’d lived in New England. I loved wearing a tie, often even at home. I guess my biological dad rubbed off on meI always hugged like crazy, I loved doing it. In that way I was more suited to California.
I went overboard the other way at times in devotion to my family, though, just to make sure I wasn‘t like my first dad. My early experience caused me to want to be too involved and controlling at times. The man I consider “Dad” was wonderful, though, and very involved in my life. He was a great guy.

Joey:
When Danny moved out, he also said he was taking fewer courses in the fall, as he had extra financial responsibility and needed to work. That was fine, as I needed to cut back, too - my financial situation was always worse than his, since my mom had never remarried. I didn’t take a full load of courses till my sophomore year, in 1977-‘78. Danny had taken more courses, but took the spring of ‘77 off for reasons that will soon be apparent. Actually, the reasons aren‘t the only ones. Get it - “a parent?”
That was fine, though - I was having lots of fun, and didn’t mind having to stretch my college education out another year. I’d met a great girl, and I had other interests.

Danny:
I thought Joey was crazy when he talked about taking flying lessons. Not only did it take away from his college funds - he could have gone full time those first two years if he’d wanted, he just blew money sometimes - but I actually came right out and said, “Joey, you know Peter Pan never used an airplane.”
He was serious, though, and did a good job, he didn’t do anything foolish while in the cockpit. I never rode with him, but Pam and I were glad he had something fun to occupy him. He’d always wanted to be part of a big family, but his constant moving, as a military kid, not only prevented this, but also turned him into a grade A clown.
Part of the reason he acted like he did was so he could hide his sadness at not having the carefree, fun-loving childhood that I’d had. His dad was far too tough for the kind of person Joey was; relationships involve trying to relate to the other person, and his dad didn’t do that.
Nick could be unbending, too, but he often tried to understand Jesse, though not always. I felt bad for Jesse - I wanted him to have a good relationship with his dad, and I tried to encourage them to talk. But, they each had a stubborn streak. So, while we were moving Pam in with me, Jesse was off sneaking around.

Jesse:
I didn’t really want to deal with Pam’s moving. I had my own plans, anyway - I’d planned this for weeks. I snuck into the Smash Club, just for kicks, that Friday night; you had to be twenty-one to get in when the previous owner owned it.
When I got there, I fell in love with the music. I knew I wanted to play music from then on.28 Seeing Elvis for the first time was great, then seeing him live when I was eight or nine,29 but this really drove it home.
Little did I know at the same time, my other life goal would start to form, too. You see, that night a little bundle of joy was conceived. And, nine months later, Pam Tanner became that great mom I always knew she’d be.


20 “Luck Be A Lady 2”
21 “Under the Influence,” Joey quickly reminding Jesse of Becky in “One Last Kiss” could also show he was used to helping Danny like that, too.
22 “Danny’s First Date”
23 “Luck Be A Lady 2”
24 The broadcasting program and Danny having a show on the college TV station in “Star Search” fits this school best, as do other things. They could have had a hockey team once. They were said to be roommates in one book but not for how long. In “Fraternity Reunion” and in books the school is near their home.
25 “Ol’ Brown Eyes” – after the divorce mentioned in “Terror in Tanner Town.” It’s unlikely divorcees would go to the same place. Hence, his dad as a teen was different from the man his mom divorced.
26 “Just One of the Guys,” cousin Steve is from that marriage.
27 “Our Very First Christmas Show” and “The King and I” each mention such reunions.
28 “Smash Club: The Next Generation”
29 “Viva Las Joey” - the description is clearly of seeing him live on stage in Vegas, whereas in “The First Day of School” he only mentions having seen him on TV. The feel of seeing someone or something live is much different from merely on TV, with the only TVs from the 1960s. While we’re not told, Jesse probably saw him in black and white, then, as there weren’t many color TVs, which would add to the different feel.

[DTF955]

III: THE COLLEGE YEARS: IT’S NOT FARRAH!
1. My Girl - May 1976-Feb. 1977
Danny:
Joey and I had considered joining a fraternity. Even before eloping, I investigated which ones I’d fit into. I was too bent on the straight and narrow to get into any wild behavior. Rules were meant so we could have fun within them, and partying and getting blasted is never good fun. Joey and I were on the same wavelength, but he had his own reasons. He was too much of a kid to party like that. He also made a good point about how one could only enjoy memories if one remembered them.
We found a group that didn‘t drink or do other wild, dumb stuff. They were like those clubs boys form in grade school where half the time is spent talking about how boys rule and girls drool. We also acted crazy when we’d watch sports together. Most of our guys played college sports, like Joey did hockey. So, our bonding was through incessantly screaming at each other to succeed, on varsity and intramural fields.
Joey and I did lots of stuff together even without rooming together. Pam and I found a place just off campus. It cut into our planned budget, as it cost a little more, but we decided it was better than living at my mom’s. I figured I could just have fun. Pam’s announcement in early August changed that, though.

Pam - Aug. 9, 1976:
I’d seen some little signs, but didn’t want to think about it. I mean, I wasn‘t quite eighteen. I couldn’t help but wonder, though. So, I finally went to the doctor. And, he confirmed it - I was pregnant.
Danny and Joey were playing a rare game of basketball with a few other guys, on an outside court. They used to play one-on-one all the time before Danny met me.
I excitedly drove to the college and got into their game to burn off excess energy. I joined Danny’s team, and another guy joined Joey’s. I quipped to the other team, “Better send in two so it’s even.” Then, I looked to see if Danny would respond.
Danny caught a pass. “It’s even now,” he said as someone fought him for the ball and stole it. “You don’t want them to be up a man. It wouldn’t be fair.”
“Danny,” I exclaimed while reaching and failing to knock a pass away. “I told you they’d need two to make it even.”
“Come on, honey, even if you were Dr. J…oof.” He fell down while trying to block a shot. It bounced around and in. “If you were Dr. J. the numbers would still be the same,” he said as he got up for the inbound pass.
I threw up my hands, sounding a little like Jesse. “Hey, I’m playin’ for two.”
A couple other guys seemed to catch on, but it took Danny a moment. He grabbed the ball and looked for an open man. “Honey, that’s ridiculous. The only way you could be playing for two is if you…what!” Joey swiped the ball from him and shot it as a look of shock dawned on Danny’s face. “You mean you’re… you’re pregnant?” I nodded. “Honey, this is great!” He picked me up and twirled me around as the other guys started cheering. Danny gazed into my eyes and spouted, “I’m gonna be a father!” He hugged everyone and said that for the next three hours. As he seemingly embraced the whole city, I told my parents the good news.

Jesse:
I longed for them to have a boy. See, Pop was already talking about who would take over the family business someday. He only had Pam and me. But, if Pam could produce a grandson for him, then he’d be able to wait twenty more years for that kid to grow up and inherit the extermination business. He’d only be in his middle fifties, and he figured it would take me that long to settle down, anyway.

Pam:
All at once, Danny started doing odd jobs everywhere, just as he‘d done in the spring semester before we eloped; his load last semester and this fall semester would equal one actual semester‘s worth of courses.
He knew we needed to save for a house. He’d gotten money from his birth dad every month, which he’d been saving. But, now he’d need to dip into that fund just to pay the costs of the baby’s first years. His mom could help a little if she got this transfer and sold the house here; she could even sell it to us. But, our resources were going to be stretched to the max. I wanted my husband to be home some, too.

Joey – More On Why Not Much Greek Stuff:
I was immediately tabbed as the designated babysitter. I was also the sounding board for room decorations, even before anyone knew the gender - back then, you didn’t get that detailed an exam unless there were health questions.
I also assisted with names. Pam didn’t feel Greek. Nick was too Americanized. Papouli and Gina had influenced her, but once they left, any Greek cooking or other cultural symbols slowly disappeared.
Papouli’s wisdom and zest for life remained, of course. That was the important part, not outside routines. Lots of immigrants find their children not engaging in as many outward customs from the “old country” - they want to be proud of their new home. I mean, look at Mork and Mindy a few years later. Robin Williams’ character was always trying to be more like an Earthling, and their baby knew very little about the planet Ork.
Besides, Papouli was more the immigrant when they came, as Nick had still been rather young. Plus, acting too Greek reminded Nick of those painful war years. I told him to try watching cartoons and playing with puppets so he could have a normal childhood as an adult, but he refused.
Instead of going Greek, Pam mulled over names of famous performers of the day. I liked Dolly. That was the name of the girl in Bil Keane’s “Family Circus” comic strip; with my love of cartoons it was a natural. Dolly Parton wasn’t famous yet, but there was Dolly Madison, first lady and famous name in cupcakes. So, when Pam started spouting names in entertainment, I said sure, go with Dolly. Comics are very entertaining.
I really wasn’t comfortable with what they decided, though.

Pam:
In November, Danny and I made our choices. Farrah Margaret Tanner would be her name, if it was a girl. Farrah Fawcett was a very popular actress then, and Margaret was my maternal grandmother’s name. I felt a special person in one’s life should get that middle name. My best friend Judy’s name merited some thought later.
Joey loved to point out the wonderful irony of my grandmothers having the same names as the girls in the Dennis the Menace comic strip. However, Dad’s parents had moved back to Greece, and I hadn’t seen them since, though we’d written. I was much closer to Mom’s mom. And, even if they’d both been here, adding another comic name didn’t appeal to me – Dolly Tanner just didn’t sound right. We considered Margaret Judith Tanner. But, Margaret sounded old, while Farrah sounded fresh and unique.
Danny would be happy with any of my choices, as he had his own worries

Danny:
Mom had worked in a national stationery supply company for years, first in Connecticut, then out here. During Thanksgiving dinner, she announced she was being transferred to Tacoma, where Dad could also find part time roofing work.
It was a logical move. I was out and married. Wendy wanted to go to Africa. And, our older siblings were gone. Mom said we could have the house, but Pam and I had our sights set on some nice, big Victorian homes. So, once Wendy moved out after her 1977 graduation, they would sell the house. We‘d each get some proceeds.
Pam and I might have enough for a down payment in a year or two, without the baby. With the baby - well, we‘d still be able to save a little.

Pam – Never liked terms “step” and “half”:
Danny’s family lived in Connecticut till he was nine. That’s how he kept his conservative streak, even though the San Francisco area was so liberal.
His second dad was great. We hated the terms “step-” and “half-,” if a person acts like a father and you think of him that way, he‘s your father emotionally, whether adopted, biological, or hardly related. I knew people who looked up to cousins or friends’ dads as most like fathers. And, in a way, Joey considered Danny to be like a brother.

Joey:
Danny‘s oldest brother was closer than the others to his biological dad. The man had allowed he and Danny’s oldest sister to move back into that Connecticut home with him so she could finish high school there. That brother became a lawyer, too, and got the family house when their biological dad moved south to retire in 1990. He then gave their mom what’s called a “life estate” to come back to her roots and live in it.30
Having lived through a divorce, it was even more imperative, in Danny’s mind, to stick together. In a way, he had the same dedication Nick had; it’s just he showed it in different ways. Cleaning, for example. His mom was wild about it, and he copied.

Pam:
Danny may have cleaned like crazy, in part, because of the tension he’d felt before the divorce. But, a big chunk of it was that he needed something to occupy him. He loved it. I teased him that if he hadn’t taken the spring semester off to help me and to work because of the new baby, he would have taken it off just to clean.
It surprised me that he didn’t want to get a dog, then; he’d have more to clean. However, he didn’t like messes at all. I’d had a black lab that Jesse never liked, though I caught him petting and talking to it a few times. Okay, some of that was complaining about the dog, even though it was perfectly trained, but even so, I don’t think he minded it as much as he claimed. It had died by this time, though. The dog was already about four years old when I got him from a friend whose baby brother was allergic.31
Someone once asked me if I thought Danny had a psychological obsession with cleaning. I didn’t think so; his zest for cleaning never interfered with his daily routine. I knew some form of traumatic stress might increase his love for it, but I couldn’t see it interfering with anything.32
When the time came to go to the hospital, Danny had everything planned like usual. He was always a stickler for details. I helped keep him from planning too much, of course. But, I often worried, if I wasn’t there, would he go way overboard?

Danny:
I did everything to make this marriage last, and so did Pam. We had various things we needed to talk about - as usual, I avoided the subjects. But, as we grew closer over the next few years, we would find we had so much common ground, it was incredible. And, when we didn’t have it, we often laughed it off quite well.

Pam - 2/8 & 2/9/77:
I went into the hospital Tuesday, the 8th. Now, came the most difficult task of all. According to Danny, I was doing the equivalent of pushing a bowling ball out one of my nostrils. That might have been funny if I wasn’t doubled over in pain when he said that.
Finally, early on the morning of the 9th, she came. A beautiful baby girl. Danny, half dead from not getting any sleep, suddenly began belting out the song, “My Girl” for all to hear. He would sing this to her often.33 However, the matter of naming remained.

Joey - 2/9/77:
I was still dead set against Farrah. I’d accepted they didn’t like the name Dolly, but they still wanted something unique. So, when I came in to visit, I cried at the fabulous sight, then used pretty much every typical hyphenated name you could imagine. Billie Bob, Peggy Sue, Billie Jean (a famous tennis player), and so on. I even combined some in strange ways, like Mindy Pam, my mom and Danny’s wife.

Pam:
Ironically, a few years later, Margaret Thatcher’s popularity in Britain might have induced us to go with Margaret as a first name in spite of ourselves. Papouli idolized how Winston Churchill kept British spirits up early in the war. So, I had a thing for their more outspoken Prime Ministers. However, I didn’t feel Margaret was viable in 1977.
Once we settled Joey down, we did some serious thinking. We all liked Donna Jo, or D.J. for short. So, our little girl wound up as Donna Jo Margaret Tanner. Despite what D.J. thinks, though, she never would have been Farrah Jo, just Farrah Margaret.

Danny:
I had to hand it to Joey. He made some excellent points. For instance, if the actress embarrassed herself, the lack of any other person with that name could scar our daughter for life. Also, he said that the name might disappear so quickly, it was better to stick with very common names, which we would for our next two children.
I don’t know if you can say a man is prophetic when he says “comics are timeless, so you can always name her after a comic strip character.” But, at least even Joey knew “Olive Oyl” would have been a dumb name. We were glad we didn’t use “Farrah” soon afterward. It was popular because of a TV show for a couple years, then nothing was ever heard of the name again; it wasn’t even a small spike like with Shirley Temple. Jesse hated “Hermes,” so who knew what she would have thought about being called “Farrsh.” D.J. was very happy not to have been called that, but only because she was glad none of the kids at school ever had the chance to cry out “it’s not Farrah!”
Joey was still really mature one minute, and really immature the next. We wanted to go on a trip to Palm Springs for Spring Break starting March 12th. Pam and I could get out with D.J. for a weekend, but also get by ourselves and let Joey watch her, thus keeping our own relationship solid and not making it only about the baby.
As it would turn out, it would be the first major test of how we would handle things after the “Honeymoon phase” of our marriage.


30 At least one book, “Dear Michelle: How Will Santa Find Me?”, says Danny is from Connecticut. It adds that the girls stayed in Danny‘s old room. This explains the conservative look and actions in San Fran, plus where Claire Tanner went and where older sibling stayed, on the East Coast.

31 “Welcome To My Zoo,” a book where Jesse claims to have had this dog. Michelle would know he normally didn’t like dogs, though, so from her point of view would overlook any sarcasm in his remark about it being a “good friend.” It was likely Pam’s, and Jesse just said that to humor Michelle. Then again, he could have talked to it plenty after Nick had screamed at him, too.

32 Which it didn’t; it never interfered with activities like work. It is possible he had OCD tendencies, but if he did, he was a Columbo (always those little things) not a Monk (who has severe problems)

33 “Ol’ Brown Eyes”

[DTF955]

2. Making It Through the Rain - March 1977-Jan. 1980
Danny - March 12, 1977 – First major crisis:
Joey drove us to Palm Springs, and guess what? His car broke down. I had $800 to my name, and that’s how much it cost to get it fixed. Thankfully, we’d paid that month’s rent, and bought groceries. But, now we were stranded in Palm Springs.
I had the most wonderful wife in the world, though; I didn’t need to worry. Well, I did anyway, but I didn‘t need to worry.

Pam:
It was one of those reasons why eloping was such a horrible mistake in retrospect. I was all upset about how we were going to get home, for one thing. I wanted to be the best mother possible, and being down here with Danny and Joey just wasn’t letting me do that. I felt like I was failing our little girl.
On the other hand, when Danny came to me and said he’d loaned Joey the $800,34 while it disturbed me that we were now broke till his paycheck next Friday, I felt I had to support him. Sure, Joey could have called his mom and had her send some money via Western Union. But, Joey had been Danny’s friend for so long, and that is the true sign of friendship - when you’ll give everything for that friend.
I was upset, though, so I had Joey watch D.J. in the stroller at the mechanic’s place. Danny and I went off to the side for a somewhat tense discussion about what we were going to do for rent money now. We lived paycheck to paycheck as it was, and then what if there was an emergency and one of us had to go to the hospital or something? Danny assuring me that he’d think of something just wasn’t cutting it.
Through about ten minutes of talking and weeping - well, okay, I was doing most of the weeping - we decided on two things. First, that little place near campus was out. We had to start saving money, and that meant moving in with someone for a few months, along with praying someone would buy Danny’s parents’ home fast but be willing to wait to move in till after Wendy graduated, so we could get some money out of that.
But, where to move? Danny’s parents couldn’t pull the house off the market - Wendy had been promised some of the money to go to Africa. And, we certainly didn’t have the money to buy it from them. Besides, if we moved in there, and it sold too fast, we wouldn’t have the money to move again - we were looking at late summer to be sure we had enough.
On the other hand, my parents weren’t the best ones to live with, either, Jesse wasn’t any help, and it was so much more confusing. They’d be great for overnight stays, like when the girls stayed later. But, they weren’t a good long term solution, even for only half a year or so. We didn’t want them arguing all the time in front of D.J. – though as we realized later they would have toned it down a lot with kids in the room. They did later, that’s why the girls spent as much time there as they did.
I could see why some couples split up over financial problems. We never would, though - we were committed to staying together and working things out. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and we just had faith we could make it.
We might not have the house we wanted after a few years. We might not have the things we thought we would. We didn’t even have privacy for a while. But, we had each other. We didn’t know how, but we just remained committed to surviving those tough few years after the honeymoon was over. That’s what couples need to realize - money is just a thing. It’s people who are important, not what possessions you have.

Danny:
I felt badly that I’d had to loan Joey money, but he understood the situation. As Pam and I talked, we each kept saying in our minds, “We’re going to get through this first major test.” And, we did.
Pam reminded me that perhaps we should pray - she’d found a nice church already for us to attend. We wouldn’t be as consistent later, especially me, but right now we both felt it was very important. Prayer is one of the wonderful advantages of having that relationship with Christ. And, sadly, it’s one I hardly ever used.
After Pam prayed for us to find a way, Mindy Gladstone popped into our heads. She knew my mom well, since Joey and I were so close. I wondered - maybe we could move into her place.
I didn’t know how to approach Joey about this, though - it’s a lot tougher than volunteering your mom to bake cookies for the class.
Thankfully, he liked the idea. We still had a couple weeks till we had to move out. So, at least there would be time to convince her. It was better than when D.J. told Pam as she was getting on the school bus in third grade that she’d volunteered her to bake cookies that day.
You lose all privacy if you move in with in-laws. However, she wasn’t quite an in-law. Also, it gave us another sitter for D.J. so we could go out ourselves for a date night. And, it wouldn’t last too long. So, all in all, it was probably the best scenario.

Pam - 3/20/77:
Danny, Joey and I stopped by Joey’s mom’s place, and Danny and Joey suddenly acted like they were ten again.
“Mom, Danny and I, well, why don’t you ask?”
“Joey, she’s your mother.”
“Yeah, but it’s you and Pam and D.J..”
“Okay, look, we’ll settle it this way, Joey. I’ll say a word, then you say a word. We’ll just keep going back and forth.”
Mindy snickered. “Something tells me you boys aren’t going to ask to camp out back tonight.”
“Well, no, uh, you see Mom…”
“That’s more than one word,” Danny corrected Joey.
I started laughing as they debated the merits of words like “uh,” and whether Joey had in fact started to ask with “you see.”
“Did they do this all the time?”
“All the time, Pam.”
“Oh, all right, I’ll start,” Danny finally relented. “Mrs.”
By the time they finished, Mindy was more than happy to accept us for a few months.

Jesse - 3/26/77:
I was really glad to see Danny and Pam continuing to get along. I couldn’t imagine how bad the fighting would get if my parents were in that position.
They moved in with Mindy a couple days later; she told my mom she felt just like another grandparent. My parents didn’t mind, either. I knew just how to sell it; I asked each one if they thought the other might not be a bad influence.
My life was fun, too. I not only loved playing music, I was going to Greece once the school year was over. Dad thought it might inspire me to actually get good grades. I hadn’t seen Papouli for years, but I still remembered him fondly.

Pam - 4/4/77 – On grandparents, etc.:
Once we settled in with Mindy, I felt kind of bad - I started to wonder if maybe my parents would have been better than I thought. After all, they did make great babysitters. They tried hard not to argue in front of D.J. just like they had when Jesse and I were younger. D.J. and Stephanie spent a couple nights there a few times later, and it was fine. They loved playing games and such with the girls.
However, in later years they liked to go to Palm Springs, so they weren’t around as much.35 Danny’s mom also loved to travel after she moved back, since she was retired. So, they didn’t spend as much time with our girls as some grandparents. D.J. and Stephanie were too busy with their own friends by the time Danny’s mom moved back. His mom would have put much more effort into it if D.J. were trying to be like a mom, though, because she’d want to assist in that endeavor, and grow closer to Michelle.
Anyway, I’d made a little extra money for us as a babysitter, too, and now Danny and I discussed me doing that more often for a while. Danny and Joey would be attending college full time starting next fall. Not having to pay rent helped - we really should have stayed with Danny’s mom in the first place…no, then we would have had to move out when it sold, whereas now we could take our time. It was so confusing.
Danny and I longed to go to Greece with my family, but that cost a lot of money. I’d really enjoyed Papouli, and wanted Danny to meet him. But, as badly as we both wanted to go, we wisely resisted those desires. When the house sold, we used some money for a deposit on an apartment instead, slowly building up funds to buy a home.

Jesse - 7/26/77:
We went to Greece for a month. Pop said he needed to go back now that it was peaceful. He couldn’t believe how much it had changed since he left, when it was still suffering from the effects of the wars. Years later, it was a great place to visit.
I loved Greece, and not just because Papouli took such good care of me. I met a girl named Elena. She was about my age, and she was fabulous. I gave her her first kiss; I’d kissed girls before, but it was very special to her. Then, we walked around the table, a Pompadoris custom dating back to the ancient Greeks. Basically, after that I was married by their traditions.
I laughed it off, though; she wasn’t coming to America at her age, and I knew I wouldn’t make it back for a long time, if ever. It was like the movie Grease. In fact, my buddies teased that I should get royalties. Which I might have, if Grease was set in Greece, but that’s the kind of pun my boys would love years later, not me. I just enjoyed that special summer, and told her we’d still be friends. And, I wondered at times, what if?

Pam - 8/26/77:
I just couldn’t stop teasing Jesse when he told everyone about getting married. Honestly, I don’t think that would be legal in the United States. I think Jesse knew that, too. He dreamed of her, but he kept going around with his own girlfriends back here. He found lots of girls who wanted to hang around him.

Joey - 8/27/77:
Danny had made enough money working, with Pam babysitting for other college students, that he was able to come back to school full time this fall, though some of the sale proceeds from his parents helped. That meant we were both starting our sophomore years at the same time. Now, we could graduate together.
It meant I wouldn’t be flying quite as much. Even to fly a small plane, a person has to log so many hours in the sky. My flight instructor was an ex-military pilot named James. The military hadn’t changed him like it had my dad; my instructor left the service after World War Two, my dad had been in it for decades, starting in Korea. One of my instrctor’s boys ended up marrying the woman who would be D.J.’s guidance counselor.
I made the college hockey team this fall, while Danny went back to broadcasting like he had earlier. I also said “I love you” to my girlfriend - of course, I did it as Fred Flintstone. But, that’s just the way I’ve always been. I thought she could tell I loved her - and, in a way, I think she could. When we met years later, I learned the fellow she’d left me for had also been much more successful than I was.36 Still, it worked out well

Danny:
College would be a series of major highs and lows for Joey. He came within inches of a championship and trip to the national college hockey tournament.
I was on hand for the deciding game that winter, as Joey played against the best goaltender in the conference, one who would go on to a very successful pro career - he retired after two years in the minors with all his teeth still in place.

Pam - 12/1/78:
Joey always made me laugh with his comedy. He often said even if nobody else liked him, he could always count on my laughter brightening his mood. And, going to see him at various comedy clubs was a great stress release from a day of caring for D.J.; sometimes for two or three if I happened to have a babysitting job.
It was my turn to cheer Joey up after Binkley blocked several of his shots in the final minute to preserve the win. He took it really hard, considering all his family and friends were there; his mom and a raucous fraternity that made an incredible amount of noise. Binkley celebrated and taunted Joey a lot more than he should have.
I told Joey he was just like Charlie Brown here, a lovable loser that everybody appreciated and supported. He managed to crack a smile. Thinking of the line drives that got hit right past Charlie Brown, Joey finally raised his head, nodded slightly, and said, “Yeah. At least he didn’t send the puck back at me so fast it made me do a flip and knocked all my clothes off. That would have been embarrassing, sitting out there on the ice in my underwear.” He led off with that joke the next time he performed.
I could tell that if he had the chance, there was part of him that would love to turn the tables, though. On the other hand, he’s so non-confrontational, I wondered if he would do it if he could.37

Danny - 3/18/79:
Joey never mentioned that game - when he‘d use the Charlie Brown joke in his monologues, it would always be a random hockey game, not that one.
By the next season, several of our best players had graduated, so we were back to being mediocre. Binkley had graduated, too, to some bad minor league hockey team that struggled to draw any fans. That might explain why Binkley was so anxious to humiliate him again; his hockey career after that had been one of dismal failure.
Joey had a dream, too. He wanted to make people laugh all over the world. Well, okay, all over the country - it’s hard to make people laugh when you don’t speak their language. I helped him realize he needed to stick to what he did best - and he did. He began doing standup comedy full time later this year. Patty didn’t appreciate him the way his friends did. She failed to realize anything was below that comical exterior.
But, I knew the right woman would come along, who wouldn’t mind Joey‘s comedy and sometimes immaturity. She’d notice a wonderful, caring man. I’m glad we didn’t know how long it would be; at our ages that really would have been frustrating.

Pam:
Joey devoted himself to comedy. He pledged that he’d give up comedy if not on the Tonight Show at some point in the next ten years. That sounded like a realistic goal at the time, in our early twenties.38 Still, I worried he might feel too much pressure and try too hard to be funny. I advised him to think about D.J.. Danny had shown a new picture on his college TV show that day.39 I reminded him how Danny, D.J. and I just enjoyed having him around. It was fun just giving away smiles, because they’re free.
I guess I got that from Papouli. Even if the saying was my own, that’s the same attitude he had. Life has so many problems, it’s a shame to let them weigh you down.
We’d had quite a few bumps our first years of marriage. But, things were looking up for all of us. We planned to go regularly to that small church we’d found – well, D.J. and I would, if not Danny. I felt it was important for our children to learn about faith. So did Danny, though I was more into it.40 We talked more about the future. He was at last willing to think about what could happen if something happened to one of us.

Joey – Sept. 1, 1979 - On Pam’s friends after her death:
Danny and Pam made final arrangements to go down to Los Angeles for a wedding. Judy and Pam would both be bride’s maids.
The lady and her fiancé would have one son, Ian, a year older than Stephanie.41 Pam and Judy had met the girl earlier, but really got to know her in high school. She’d be marrying her high school sweetheart. Comically, they went to rival schools, USC and UCLA. However, that simply taught them to laugh at little things and have fun more, just as Danny and Pam were so good at doing.
We saw Ian somewhat regularly once the couple moved back to the area. Still, unless you’re really close, good friends don’t even stay in touch with each other more than once in a while, once the job of raising children and having one’s own life as a couple begins. That’s something Danny and I were learning firsthand. It’s one reason I was so devoted to comedy, and would soon make my ten year pledge. I loved being a kid at heart, but yet Danny and Pam were a couple, so I knew I couldn’t be around them all the time. As an adult, I had to have my own thing, if you will. How ironic, then, that I’d be moving in with Danny years later.
After Pam died, of course, there was a bit of drifting apart because of sadness on friends’ parts, too, who had known Pam. Plus, they were closer to Pam, not Danny. Still, such friends stayed in touch through cards and visited once in a while; just not a whole lot.42 Being in the same area helps some, at least.
It was even harder for Judy. She couldn’t get off from her job for the funeral; she was working in Atlanta. She’d married in 1985; Danny and Pam took the girls to the wedding. They had four kids. She wrote some, but the next time she came out after Pam died was her 25th year high school reunion in 2001. There’s even less reason to make the effort to stay in touch with your friend’s spouse and family with so much distance. Thankfully, some friends stay close to the surviving person; I would have tried with Pam and the girls. I think it’s the right thing to do.

Pam:
We were a lot more confident by this time about leaving D.J. with Mom and Dad overnight; it wasn’t a long trip. Two-year-olds can get pretty wild in a long car ride. However, when we flew to Atlanta, Danny and I took the girls. Judy had said they were invited, and was anxious to see them; she hadn’t seen us for several years. We had a fun vacation in that area. We were starting to have enough money to afford longer trips, by 1985, and the girls could be occupied better. Steph loved being read to, but we also planned it so we’d all sleep for part of the flight, which helped a lot.

Danny - 12/28/79:
I tended to avoid problems if I couldn’t control them. For instance, I liked to take each of the girls on special father-daughter trips. I tended to make every decision for D.J. early, even though Pam and I knew we needed to teach her to make choices. I was afraid it would scar her if she made the wrong one. Pam worried, too, at times, but eventually she convinced me to let them make a few. For instance, if we shopped for clothes, I told them what to try on, but they chose between the two or three things I selected.43 I later let Michelle pick out her own preschool outfits at times, after all.44
I still managed to pick some things that were just too young for each girls‘ age, but this was one of those ways we learned not to make the same mistakes with Stephanie later. We were maturing as parents.

Joey – D.J.’s Pierced Ears, Handling Teen Problems:
This isn’t to say they never made mistakes with Steph, but they did a lot better. Danny probably would have done a lot better with Pam by his side when it came to teenage issues, of course, but even there, he let D.J. get her ears pierced when she got to Junior High; the big problem there was that he just didn’t realize that he had to treat each daughter differently.45 D.J.’s might not have even come that early, but the dentist had been worried about one tooth that was a little crooked by that time; she needed a retainer, so Danny figured after a few months longer, since she was also wearing makeup, why not let her get them pierced, too.

Danny:
In late December, Pam and I sat alone in the living room, and started a budget for 1980. Everything flowed naturally. We discussed the rent, what it might cost to be in our own home by the end of 1980, and so on. Then, it just came out - we needed to make wills. We agreed for right now, Pam’s parents would be D.J.’s guardians if we both died; they were okay sitters, though one of Pam’s friends was second and might be first later, in a few years. If something happened to one of us, the other could date again after a while. We were even finishing each other‘s sentences, it came so naturally.
We even felt the same concern for Jesse - if it became necessary, and he didn‘t bring any rough elements into our lives, we‘d let him live with us if need be. He lacked direction, and couldn’t even be convinced to improve his grades for a sport. Some sports he knew almost nothing about, in fact - enough basketball just to get by, and soccer to coach D.J.’s team with her help.46 We allowed him on our hockey team out of sympathy once, and told him to skate around, though he wasn‘t too bad.47 Of course, he couldn’t skate really well even then.48

Pam:
All things considered, we agreed on pretty much, and talked out what we didn’t. We had begun to work out a plan, and we were learning that if things didn’t happen within that plan, it wasn’t the end of the world. We were going to make it.
That was our entire philosophy going into marriage, of course; it was supposed to be forever. I think we were overwhelmed those first couple years with how many choices and how many struggles there were; that’s why a period of engagement is so important. That’s when you talk about those things, and make those decisions. Thankfully, at least we had the foundation of knowing that it should never be just something you try.
I was afraid we’d sent the wrong message to Jesse, but thankfully, as I watched from Heaven, things turned out perfectly for him, just as I’d dreamed they would.
Another of those really hard times that young married couples never expect had happened to us that Christmas, 1978. And then, we never would have expected what happened as we prepared for Joey’s and Danny’s college graduations.


34 “Mad Money”

35 Nick and Irene are in Palm Springs in one episode, it’s likely they travel a lot, especially after the first few seasons. Likewise, Michelle develops a bond with Danny’s mom, more so in the Book Universe.

36 “Blast From the Past”

37 “Nice Guys Finish First”

38 “Star Search”

39 Clearly called a new picture, and she looks the right age, two, in “Star Search”

40 Danny prays the blessing at Thanksgiving, so he‘s got faith. Stephanie prays to God (not to a saint) for Mr. Bear’s return (“Goodbye, Mr. Bear.”), Michelle prays “what’ll I do?” when tempted to reveal Becky’s party is a baby shower. Their church has a bake sale in “Just One of the Guys.” In season 1 once, when something good happens Jesse looks up and says “See you in church Sunday.” Jesse’s also got what looks like a cross necklace. Books mention the girls praying at times, a few skip Sunday morning in a series of weekend events as if to imply they could be in church, and Steph and her friends plan a surprise in one book Sunday at 9 AM when almost nobody else is home. They‘re Protestants who go for Christmas and Easter, maybe a bit more, and are more dedicated in books.
Since the denomination is unknown, whether or not they were confirmed, and when baptized, isn’t covered here, as that can be different with different denominations, so reader’s choice on that. Salvation by grace through faith is the important part.

41 “Hip Hop Till You Drop”

42 At least, not in the one quarter of 1% of the time we see the Tanners, though the other 99% is open

43 “High Anxiety.” Offering such a choice is much more likely. Pam would help earlier, and the girls had to learn to make good choices. By almost seven it would frustrate Michelle enough she’d consider it just him telling her what to try on, however, as that was part of it, even though technically she was choosing between two things; kids of 7 had a much broader range of thought than 3-year-olds.

44 “Slumber Party,” Michelle says she picked out the outfit.

45 “I’m Not D.J.” – It’s uncertain when the actress who played D.J. had pierced ears, but here, storyline and what’s said rules, not what’s visual, as long as it’s in character, which it is.

46 “I’m There For You, Babe”

47 “Sisters In Crime”

48 “Nice Guys Finish First,” just consider it a joke by your “pen pal,” as with his not recognizing Kareem Abdul Jabbar in “Air Jesse“; the real Jesse could skate some, as in the previously mentioned episode. An inner ear infection would affect balance, and with other sports he’s let minor skills deteriorate, but the joke part is most likely as it wouldn’t hurt him that much, and he would still know something about hockey. On the other hand, he could still have played hockey in the previous episode without being well versed enough to announce it. So, when he did skate in that one, he was just surviving on very little talent.

[DTF955]

3. A Christmas to Remember
Pam - Dec. 23, 1978:
Danny had gone to cover a bowl game with a sportscasting crew where he interned. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the Rose Bowl. It was a game played a couple days before Christmas! They could have gone to the newest bowl, the Holiday in San Diego, a day earlier, but there were several games played on the 23rd, and a few guys at the station were from Texas. So, they changed their plans away from the Holiday Bowl once the University of Texas got invited to El Paso, and went that day.
This was not the best planning. He’d be back late on the 24th, but I was miserable, missing him and with a toddler who looked like a connect the dots book. Poor little D.J. had chicken pox. At least he’d been home when she’d had the mumps earlier.
We were in a poorer section of the region, right in San Francisco near the college, so she was exposed to a few more things than I would have liked her to be as a baby and toddler; she got them before the age when they immunize children.49
Danny had called just after lunch, lifting my spirit’s a little. We must have said “I love you” ten times. I could tell it bothered him to be away, but he was right; someone had to earn some money, and he was earning a little something, as well as gaining lots of good experience. On the other hand, we’d married young so we could be together the rest of our lives. It was so confusing. We knew we were in this for the long haul, though - we’d make it through no matter what.
At least Mindy had had chicken pox. Joey claimed to be immune - something I’d expect more from Jesse. Jesse claimed he’d had it, when in fact his was an allergic reaction to wool,50 something that was more pronounced in him than any others, though D.J. and later his kids would have slight reactions after extended exposure to something like an animal. I’d had chicken pox in 1962, months before he was born.
To further confuse things, Joey knew he’d had measles and not chicken pox, he only joked about being immune. However, Mindy told me Colonel Gladstone swore Joey had had chicken pox. 51 Can you tell he didn’t serve in a M*A*S*H unit? Mindy said it wasn’t just being too militaristic in the home that caused marital problems. When he said something was chicken pox, it was. It didn’t pay to try to correct him. At least he’d stayed with him for once then, and even taught him his Popeye laugh.
Danny gone and D.J. having chicken pox weren’t my only problems. Jesse came in, threw his books on our couch, and told me to give them to D.J. to color in; he was dropping out of school.

Jesse:
I’d had it with school, with Dad pushing me, with everything. The only reasons I stayed in this long were the pretty girls. Some of them liked me just because I was a rebel, though that wasn’t why I rebelled. I was super sneaky at times, but I’d grown to like that part, I did it more openly. For instance, I wound up lying about my age to get a tattoo this Christmas, with some money some relatives had sent me.52
I came in my leather outfit and really long hair, and told Pam I wanted to pursue music full time; I planned to quite school.

Pam:
I couldn’t let Jesse do this. I think he knew, deep down, I’d say “no.” And, honestly, I think that’s what he wanted, even if he wouldn’t admit it.
While Mindy was singing D.J. to sleep for her nap, Joey stopped by. He’d developed this new voice that made wood puns - he wanted to try it out on me. He said one day he might use it with a woodpecker or woodchuck or something.
Then, I asked Joey to help me convince Jesse to stay in school.

Jesse:
Pam knew one of my sore spots - I could not stand how childish Joey acted. And, it irked me that he’d have way more education than I would if I dropped out then.
I was really rebelling against society. I wanted to do my own thing; I didn’t care what anyone said. Pam had it good, but I didn‘t want to follow her way, despite how cheerful it was. Inside, I was probably searching so hard I wasn’t seeing what was right in front of me. However, I thought I could find what I wanted with my music. “Musicians get paid,“ I told her. “I’ll find somewhere to play. In the meantime I’ll be free.”
“You got that right, Mister, you’ll be working for free a lot,” she chided.
That wasn’t the worst of it - when Joey started making jokes, I complained about how Joey thought life was a joke. Then, Joey said, “No, Life is a cereal.” Then he recited that crazy “Let’s get Mikey” commercial, complete with voices.
Joey asked about the baby. “D.J.’s better, but Jesse’s not very good,” she quipped.
“Aw come on, Pam, give me a break,” I whined.
“Good baby, Jess. See, you can do voices!”
I know Joey was just trying to break the tension, but he was driving me nuts. So, I gave him a light smack on the head like on the Three Stooges.
“Would you like some cheese with that whine?” Pam teased. “Jesse, there are plenty of things to do with music that you can’t do if you don’t finish high school.”
“Name one!”
“Okay, disc jockey, you’ve said you’d love playing on the radio if not in a band. You could start a club like the Smash Club. And, if music doesn’t work, you can open a garage and work on cars and motorcycles,” Pam finished, counting on her fingers.
“That’s more than one.” I walked around for a second while thinking, then turned back to Pam and held out a hand. “Look, if I’m a success in music I can always land a job based on name recognition if it deals with music. I think I could run my own garage from scratch, too, or get enough money to find people to run a club.”
I had her flustered. I thought maybe, for once, I’d win an argument with her.

Pam:
Jesse wouldn’t listen to reason. He shrugged off the possibility that he might not like Dad’s business - and, personally, I wondered if he‘d even accept the job, though he later did. He refused to think about how he needed to gain the skills to run a club or garage. So, I asked Joey to leave, and he went into the kitchen to eat.
I pointed a finger at Jesse, and promised my undying love for him no matter what he did, even if he’d dropped out in Kindergarten. Our dad was never a strong Christian, the way he mismanaged anger, but I was gung to show that love we’re supposed to show.
“Aw man, now you tell me; I didn’t think you could drop out then,” he said.
“Jesse, that’s not the point.” With my hands on my hips, I explained, “The point is, you would have missed so many good things. Like the time I taught you to dance in one night so you could learn for a school function. I don‘t think that‘s the only night I‘ve stayed up with you, either. Or the times I’ve helped you to understand some of the school assignments you’ve had.”
“Yeah; you’ve always been there for me,” Jesse said thankfully.
“You could miss out on so many things if you drop out now. Please, Jesse?” Jesse shook his head, pretending not to hear, and I knew it was time for the ultimate. I walked into the kitchen as he continued. “Pamela, you’re happy here, you’re always braggin’ on D.J. for something, you want to be a housewife. I’ve accepted that. I know I got upset when you and Danny eloped, ‘cause I felt he was takin’ you away from me, but now…“ I returned with a menacing gaze, and pointed a couple carrots directly at his face. His eyes got wide. “No,” he said, beginning to back up.
“Don’t make me use these carrots,” I threatened. Backing him up onto the couch, I smiled lovingly, yet with a stern look in my eyes. “Jesse, I’m not joking. You’re going back to school. Or I will find a way to make you walk around with carrots sticking out your nose, and everyone will call you ‘Walrus Katsopolis.’ I’d rather have Hermes.”

Jesse:
I finally agreed, after which she let me up. I was very glad neither Joey or Mindy had heard that name “Hermes.” “Okay, I’ll go back.” I hated letting my feelings show to anyone, but she was one person I usually could stand to let see my tender side. “It’s just so hard. I mean, none of this stuff’s gonna matter, is it? All those brains going on to college or somethin’, yeah, I can see why they put up with it.”
“Jesse, Danny and I eloped before the end of the school year.53 I could have just dropped out, too. But, you know why I didn’t?”
“So you could bug me with that ‘good example’ stuff?” I asked sarcastically.
“No,” she said, slightly frustrated. It’s amazing how, the few times we argue, Becky’s face and tone sound just like Pam‘s would at these times. “Jesse,” Pam persisted, “I did it because it’s an accomplishment. Just like raising children; when D.J. learns some new skill, I realize I was a part of that. It’s something that years from now, even if it’s the only thing you finish, you can say you got through it. You toughed it out.
“You may never get a record deal. You might have an accident and be paralyzed, so you can’t ride a motorcycle like you want or even walk again. But no matter what, if you finish school, you’ll be able to say you accomplished something. And, the Jesse I know never backed down from a challenge,” Pam finished, gazing sorrowfully at me.
“Aw man, not the puppy dog look, too,” I complained bitterly. “Okay, okay, Pam. I’ll tough it out,” I pledged. “I’ll make sure I have one accomplishment in life.” I hated to admit it, but I knew she was right.
Unfortunately, my promise would only stand until the band and I played the Smash Club for the first time, something that was a major accomplishment in my mind. She kept this visit to their apartment from our parents, like I asked. I think she knew if she’d told our parents, it would have made Dad and I have a big fight and I‘d want to drop out all the more.

Danny - Dec. 24, 1978:
I caught the last flight in before Christmas morning. Irene stayed with D.J., while Nick waited for Jesse to come home from riding around.
We met at the gate and embraced as if I’d been gone four years in World War Two. We couldn’t wait to tell each other everything, and though it was little, I couldn’t wait to give her a gift. We got home after midnight, but what mattered was, we were together. We still had some of that youthful desire to always be with each other, even though we’d spoken on the phone quite often.
I didn’t promise never to let work take me away like I used to, though. We were maturing. As we discussed Jesse’s rebellion, D.J.’s chicken pox, and all the other little struggles we each had while I was gone, there was a sense that we were starting to truly grow into a cohesive unit. We understood each other very well.
We cuddled on the couch. Some things about our life - work, the lack of money, and so on - continued to provide small annoyances. But, they weren’t earth-shattering. What I lacked in faith, Pam had. And, even I had faith we’d always overcome the problems, though she was the one concentrating on the Lord more.
I said, “We’re getting pretty good at making it through tough times, huh, Pam?”
“We did it again. Just like we always do.”
“Just like we always will,” I guaranteed as we embraced.


49 “Crushed”
50 “A Pox In Our House”

51 “Viva Las Joey,” even after they reconcile, Joey would figure it didn’t pay to try and tell him right away. However, he’d mention it soon after what we see in the episode.

52 Visible in numerous episodes, we don’t know when Jesse gets it, but knowing him, the answer is probably quite early. Even if it’s just something the actor had, this is in character for him, and since he had the option of hiding it (like when an unmarried character is played by an actor with a wedding ring) it’s different from Steph’s ears, which couldn’t be hidden.

53 Their last date ever was the senior prom, which in most schools is weeks before graduation. It’s almost certain that was before the school year ended. It is on “Prom Night.” Pam would finish high school; she wouldn’t have had D.J. till February, 1977, anyway, according to “13 Candles” (Feb. 1990), “Driving Miss D.J.” (She’d recently turned 15 in spring of 1992), etc.; 8 months after Pam’s graduation.

[DTF955]

4. Jumping Jesse: A Sneaky Plan - March-June, 1980
Jesse - Mon., March 3, 1980:
Danny and Pam had it all, as far as they were concerned. They planned for their own home, and Danny had been promised a full-time job with the station where he had worked while in school. I, on the other hand, was sick of school. The only thing I loved that year was running the principal’s toupee up the flagpole the previous week.54
I’d stayed in till I’d had a major accomplishment. My band played lots of gigs, but last Friday, we played the Smash Club for the very first time. We were loved.
Monday, I prepared for yet another boring English class. My mind was on my band, my motorcycle, and the future. I didn’t want to put up with three more months of this. I’d never liked studying in the first place, and I didn’t think I needed a diploma.
“Read any good books lately?” Mr. Pearson, the teacher, asked us.
“Yeah, the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue,” I cracked. The class laughed as I made a few other wisecracks. I enjoyed driving him crazy. His knowledge intimidated me a bit, too, but I disliked a lot about school then.
“Mr. Katsopolis, since you insist on running your yap, the class was assigned a poem to memorize. You may recite first.”
I grinned as I stood in front of the class. “The poem? Ah, yes. You know, it would be cool to put it to music, maybe the band and I could play it.”
“Mr. Katsopolis, please recite the poem. We are not getting any younger.”
“Oh, sure. ‘Oh captain, my captain.’ You want the whole poem?”
The class was cracking up now. “That was the assignment. Did you even look at it?” he groused, knowing my habits from numerous earlier incidents that year.
“Sure. ’Oh captain, my captain.’ See, I remembered that.”
“That’s because that’s the title, and you were given it. This is a test of your reading, not…” I could tell he almost said he wasn’t testing our memory – he was too clever to fall into that trap, though. “Do you intend to recite anything, or do you plan to waste your life on nothing but rock lyrics?” he asked tiredly.
I’d glanced at the poem, not caring to try hard to memorize it, as I considered my dumb plan that weekend. I finalized the plan as the others guffawed, though I’d pondered it for weeks, waiting for the right moment. I was embarrassed about everyone laughing at me, but that was also the best way to catch them off guard.
“Can I answer that after I go to the restroom?”
“I will gladly allow you, as the class’s combined interest in learning shall surely increase upon your departure.” He excused me, grateful to have some peace. I left.
I wouldn’t have done this unless I knew my parents would be gone. Mom had left for a beautician appointment. Dad was at work.
I cleaned out my locker, taking all my other notebooks so I could look busy - I left my English one behind in that class. Then, I walked out of school.55
I hopped on my motorbike, took one look back, and shouted with glee. “Now we’re talkin’!” I hollered as I screamed down the road. I hid my enthusiasm long enough to stop near home, park my bike on a side street, and sneak into my house.
The phone rang. I almost blew it big time, though; I was way too cocky. “This is my…” I said in only a semi-old voice.
I winced. “This is my father” - how dumb could I get? Luckily, I’d caught myself.
Slapping my forehead, I recovered by spouting, “…my favorite chair, get off of there, you dumb cat!” Hey, they didn’t know we didn’t have a cat. “Hello?!”
“Mr. Katsopolis? This is the high school principal‘s office…” the secretary began.
“Oh, yeah, you’re probably calling about Jesse. Yeah, such a shame we have to move, and now he comes down with the stomach flu. His mom just went to pick him up and get his motorbike into the trunk.”
“Well, we weren’t told…”
“Oh, you weren’t told?!?! You figure some kid’s just gonna come in and throw up all over your desk? Is that how you like to be told?! Listen here, Miss, I pay my taxes, and I expect the school my son attends to be run right!” Yeah, I was showing off; I loved this too much. “You should have the common sense to know that a boy’s gonna call his mom and she’ll rush down and get him ‘cause it’s her last baby, and she knows all the stress of moving is making him sick!” I finished ranting.
“Well…I’m sorry, but a student isn‘t allowed to just leave without…”
“I expect a more understanding school when my son transfers! You got a pen and paper?” She quickly grabbed one. “Listen, effective tomorrow, this is our new address.” I gave them a nonexistent one. “We need to get our new number connected, so don‘t call this old one. I’ll call you back with the new one, it was here someplace. Dumb cat must have carried it off. I’ll send an excuse note back with him in a couple days, if what he thinks is the flu isn‘t food poisoning.” I’d asked a friend whose dad was a doctor what would be similar to stomach flu, as if I knew someone with those symptoms.
I almost hung up in a huff, but then realized they could try to call back unless I made sure they didn’t. “Good, listen, we’re getting our service disconnected today, it’s a good thing you called now. Oh, here’s the electrician’s truck. Listen, I’ll call you back from a friend’s phone. Here’s my wife and Jesse now.”
Their secretary was jumpy from my harsh tone, but she was sharp, I had to give her that. “Er…Can you please…put your wife on the phone?”
I’d sounded pretty upset - of course, they knew my dad could get like that. I tried to be extra sweet impersonating my mom. As my mom, I confirmed what I’d said before, then added, “We’ve been getting some crank calls. Lots of them in fact. Look, until we get our new phone hooked up, why don’t you call our son’s personal number. You’ll let them do that, won’t you, dear?”
I impersonated a very sick me agreeing. I went up and unplugged my phone after hanging up. My plan was for them to call an unlisted number, but I had to find one first. When I couldn’t, I simply had us moving to Miami and invented a number.

Pam - Mar. 4, 1980:
I asked Jesse the next day why his phone didn’t seem to be working. I’d tried to call several times to tell him something D.J. had done that was so cute. He didn’t appreciate that sort of thing, but I got so excited sometimes I had to tell someone.
Then, Jesse asked the strangest thing. He wondered if I’d told our parents his phone wasn’t working. “No,” I said curiously. “Are you up to something, Jesse?”
“Who, me? What makes you think that?”
“I could say your general attitude toward proper behavior,” I quipped. I guessed it could also be a girl pestering him; or, worse, her ex-boyfriend. Although, I’ll give him credit, he didn’t fool with other guys’ current girls. So, I doubted it. “Jesse, promise me if you’re in trouble you’ll tell me, okay?”
“Sure, Sis, I’d tell you. Now, there’s no problem, so don’t worry about it.”
“Okay. Oh, you know that girl Judy and I hung out with in high school? Well, Judy and she went to college in L.A., and Judy got a job down south, but our friend’s married and coming back here this spring. And, she’s going to have a baby, too.”
“Super. Just what this world needs, more diapers to change,” he said sarcastically.
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Now, that’s the Jesse I know.” And, with that, I was satisfied that he was okay. His phone began working again a week later.

Jesse - Mar. 24, 1980:
While I could pull the wool over my parents’ eyes by pretending to be sick for a while, I couldn’t do it for three months. And, it took a lot more to trick Pam. Besides, the school would just send the homework to me, right?
That’s why, on the 7th, I “announced” I’d switched schools. I asked my dad to sign last year’s yearbook. He wrote, and I copied his handwriting. I also made up a note from a doctor stating I was “under the care of Dr. Stanley Livingston for food poisoning and malaria, with concerns about possible leprosy.” I sent that note to the school, faking the writing. A day later, on the 8th, I sent a forged note supposedly from my dad. It told of our move to Miami, and explained that I‘d be attending “Hacienda High School” once I got over my malaria. They were told to send my records there.
They sent my records and most recent grades to the phony address of Hacienda High, while sending my report card to the phony Miami address where I‘d said we moved. My parents expected me to get my grades, though.
So, I brought the mail in today, and snuck my last report card in the middle. I started an argument with my dad - which was like sparking a forest fire where it hadn’t rained for months. In the middle, I pulled out my report card, just so he could see what it was, but not which grading period. I ripped it into a million pieces as we yelled. He ranted and raved about my tearing it up, but did nothing about it. He figured it would be useless - he didn’t know how useless.
Since my girlfriend Carrie and I had already bought tickets, I could still sneak into the prom, saying I’d flown back for it.

Jesse - Sat., May 3:
I took Carrie to the prom, figuring I had everyone so confused they wouldn‘t know which end was up.
My stomach turned as I heard one of the chaperones; that same stuffy English teacher, Mr. Pearson. “Feeling better, Mr. Katsopolis?” he inquired casually. “Will you return Monday, or do you plan to come down with bubonic plague by then?”
I suggested Carrie find a seat for us while I talked to him. She did.
“If you have dropped out, Mr. Katsopolis, I advise you to be frank. And by that, I do not mean to get around our search for Jesse by changing your name to Frank.”
“Good idea; I happen to like Jesse. You know, that was Elvis’ twin’s name, except he was stillborn.”
“Much like your academic career,” he sniffed. “We have stopped wasting our time, after inquiries to schools that do not exist and doctors who are nowhere to be found. We are letting you go. If, given all your tomfoolery throughout your stay in our school system, you wish to be a troublemaker and consider this your ultimate victory over us, you are now free to do so. Good day.” He left hurriedly, in a huff.
“That was easy,” I told myself smugly. I walked to our table. Carrie asked what the teacher wanted. “Oh, nothing; just wanted to see how I’d been. I told you and the band I wasn’t gonna be here for a while; now I don’t have to come at all.”
“But, Jesse, you’re graduating, right?”
“Look, let‘s not worry about school and just make it a great night, okay?” She agreed, and we left it at that.
I figured I could stay away from home every day, as I’d been doing, and I’d be in the clear. The Smash Club’s owner loved having me work there; he thought I‘d graduated in January, as some kids did who only had a one-semester course to complete their requirements at the start of their senior years.
My brilliant plan hit a major snag, though.

Pam - June 5, 1980:
I wasn’t totally suspicious of Jesse. But, I wondered about a comment Mom made once. She was glad Jesse was over at our place doing homework, and getting closer to us, as he‘d told her he was. She felt it would settle him down. Jesse had been over here a few times, but not much. And, he never had any homework. He informed me he was suddenly doing it all in study hall. That was so unlike Jesse, I can‘t begin to describe it.
My instinct worked really well with D.J.. If there was something amiss, I’d catch him. If I was wrong - I hoped I was - I would be congratulating him on a great accomplishment. And, I sincerely wanted to believe he had finished school.
I really felt this confrontation was important, however. It sometimes seemed like I was always the best one at keeping him out of trouble.

Jesse:
I was ready to go out on my motorbike well before school began, but just as I said goodbye to my parents, Pam knocked at the door. I froze - what was she doing here? And, how did she manage not to be late for once? I determined she must have gotten up an hour earlier than usual just to be done in the bathroom.
“Jesse, so good to see you,” she proclaimed, seeming natural but making me raise my guard. I loosely put an arm around her for a second as she embraced me. “Danny didn’t have to go in to work till later, so he’s watching D.J.. Mom and Dad can watch her this afternoon; I arranged to take you to school.”
My eyes widened, and my jaw tightened. “You what?”
“To school, so we can celebrate your great accomplishment!”
“My what?!” Was my cover going to get blown in front of our folks? I tried hard not to let them see me sweat. However, I had no idea what Pam would do.
“I know you brush it off, but you toughed it out,” she said as I glanced away. “I’m so proud of you.”
I finally agreed, but I was trembling inside. “Oh…yeah, I did, didn’t I?” I figured I could get out of it by making up some sort of party, though I hadn‘t wanted one from them. “But, uh, my friends and I were gonna go out ridin’ right after school to celebrate.”
“Oh, that’s okay. Have them come to our place. You didn’t want a big gathering. You told everyone you wanted to handle it yourself. But, let me give you that great sendoff when you go wherever you’re going the night before graduation.”
That hadn’t worked. Could I fake sick this soon? I’d planned to start being sick this evening. It would last through tomorrow, badda bing, no graduation.
That failed, too. My folks and Pam felt my forehead and said I didn’t have a fever. Oh, well, if I went now, and hung out through the day, I could argue I overexerted myself.
As Pam drove me there, I complained, “Stop babying me. This is crazy, I feel like I’m seven, not seventeen.”
“It’s for your own good, Jesse.” She pulled over to a side street near the school, and stopped the car. I began sweating profusely.

Pam:
I could have accused him right then and there, but I had no concrete proof. The evidence was mounting and convincing that something was up, though. I knew he could have been doing something else dumb instead. However, I got too excited sometimes. So, I blurted, “Jesse, are you graduating?”
“What? Why, of course I am, I’m just gonna be sick…I mean, I will be sick by tonight…” He held up a finger and tried to correct himself again. “No, actually, you know what, I’m very sick right now. Could we just go home?”
“I had this speech all prepared about how I was so happy to see you off one last time.” I shook my head sadly. I wanted him to think about how proud I would have been. I knew this attitude - he wanted to avoid me at all costs. I hoped I could make him think. “You haven’t had any homework for three months, Jesse,” I announced. That was a guess, but I knew he couldn’t have had much. “Mom and Dad never saw a report card from your last grading period. They say you tore it up during a fight, but I don‘t buy that one. And, this morning….”
“That’s it…” he said, trying to bolt out the door. I grabbed his arm, and gave that look as he turned to glare at me.
“Jesse, I will always love you with all my heart. That’s what big sisters are for. It‘s what God wants us to do. I’ve been so proud. You’ve never smoked, you’ve never been in a gang, you’ve never taken a drink, you’ve never done drugs.” I smiled with assurance as he agreed easily to each of these. “I know you’ve never liked school, except for inventing ways to slack off and bug teachers. You don’t have to feel bad if you didn’t keep that promise. I will always love you unconditionally,” I finished tenderly.
I could tell he wanted out of that car in the worst way. Mom had wondered what he was up to, but she knew I was best for this. She also knew I‘d keep it secret unless there was a big problem, but she was willing to accept that. However, he either couldn’t or wouldn’t talk. By this time, I figured I knew - but I wanted him to tell me.
“Jesse, did you drop out of school?”

Jesse:
I relaxed a little when she said the words I needed to hear - “I won’t tell anybody.” Words she would take to her grave. Man, what a sister! I couldn’t let Mom or Dad think I was a failure. I knew what every one of my teachers probably thought of me already. I figured our parents would really scream. But, she loved me no matter what.
Still, I felt ashamed, especially because of the love she was showing. I couldn‘t bring myself to admit it. “Look, Pam,” I argued, desperately changing the subject, “I never did that other stuff. You’d have to tell if I did that, to get me help.” She nodded. “But, if I did something that dumb, dropping out only hurts me, right? Right. End of discussion. Let’s go,” I said hurriedly, facing back toward the front of the car. I hoped she wouldn’t press me. I couldn’t lie to her any more, and yet I couldn’t bring myself to tell her the truth. I didn’t want to boast about it when she was being so merciful.
Not that it mattered. Pam smiled knowingly - at least, I thought it was knowingly - and resumed our ride toward school. “I know the answer to that one,” she said in a tone that was way too casual and confident. Pam parked in the student parking lot, smiled her classic, gorgeous smile and said, “Be good. I‘ll be here when you get out. Call if you want to hang out with your friends after school, and I‘ll pick you up later.”
I shook my head and sighed as I left the car. It appeared she would wait till I got in the door. Why now? Why not three months ago? I had breathed so freely, I thought nobody could know. That’s what made this feel like an ambush.
I walked around, angry yet sick to my stomach, and poked my head in her window. I didn’t know what to say, though.
“You‘re getting away with this one. But, I promise, if I ever catch you thinking of joining a gang, or drinking, or doing drugs, or anything really destructive…” she whispered in a foreboding voice. She let the thought hang on the glare that was driven straight through my heart. Then, her face softened into a warm smile again. “You can fool Mom and Dad all you want, but you’ll never fool me. Never! Now, it’s your last day of school. Go have fun with your friends in there.”
I swallowed a lump in my throat the size of Graceland. The words “Thanks, Sis” crept out of my mouth. Not only thanks for this, but for all the times she’d been there when I was in trouble. She’d made her point. Her admonition, in the midst of showing that she basically knew my secret yet loved me anyway, kept me from doing much worse things. I knew even more clearly than before she’d catch me. She’d always love me, but if she caught me…I didn’t want to think about that.
I rushed into the school, and let out a huge sigh in the bathroom, while actually shedding a tear. Then, I hung out in the halls all day. A few other seniors did, too, for a while, with exams over. The band and I joked about graduation as we loitered in the gym. A few teachers figured I only came back to gloat, so they ignored me.
I made sure my friends could get me an invitation to our reunions.56 One of them was on the committee, so I knew he‘d do that for a friend. Besides, you can bring spouses to most graduations; I could have gotten invited as a friend anyway.
Someone dared me to drive my motorbike into the school, not knowing how I‘d come. So, I had Pam take me home to get my motorbike. I rode around town on it since they’d be having graduation rehearsal. They had the actual graduation downtown, as the gym was quite small. It was finally enlarged during late 1980s renovation, when it merged with another school, and changed its name to Bayview, soon before they remodeled the grade schools, too, among other things.57
Once I knew the rehearsal would be over, I rode my bike into the gym. I acted like they couldn’t expel me because I was graduating, but in reality, they couldn’t expel me because I’d quit. They could have kept me from it if I did something bad enough.58 Most of the band assumed that I‘d dropped out, anyway, as did Carrie, so I hadn’t had to pretend I was for her.
My buddies and I had fun that day. I was secretly glad Pam had made me come. I felt forgiven, but she had that in reserve, just in case.
That type of scheme is what made me jump to conclusions when a boy splashed beer all over D.J. and I falsely accused her of drinking.59 I was scared she might be just as much of a rebel, though I should have known better. She took after her mom, not me.

Pam:
Jesse never told me in so many words that he’d dropped out. But, I could tell. He had become too good at tricking Mom and Dad. I needed to show him two things. First, I wanted to tell him I’d always be there for him if he had a problem. And, second, I needed to let him know if he went too far, I’d find out. He wouldn’t listen to me talk about family, let alone God, so I had to show that love in another way.
I wondered if I should have told him more about how dismal his job opportunities were. Or, about the lie he’d have to live. He told everyone he graduated, and I remember a few times hearing him mention what he did at his graduation to those like Danny who wouldn’t remember that he didn’t go. D.J. was sick that night, so he would have stayed home with her, anyway.
It was very sad to see Jesse hurt people with his lies. He wasn’t the only one he hurt by dropping out - he hurt lots of other people, too.
Still, I figured I did the right thing. Unconditional love is hard sometimes. He wasn’t hurting himself near as much as he would have if he’d been doing other things. He knew if I ever found him drinking or doing drugs, I’d drive him straight to a treatment center myself - I’d told him that. But, the thing about having a brother like that is, you have to know when to pick your battles.

Jesse:
When Pam died, I went to the minister who would do her funeral and said I had to make things right with God. I took that cross necklace that she always wore and I wore it with pride.60 It bothered me after that when I’d tell an outright lie. But, that lie was too big a part of me by then. I told pieces, like about never wearing that cardboard thing on my hat,61 but never enough for anyone to know.
Sometimes I wonder if the day I finally confessed was a warning, like God was saying, “I let you go this far, it’s time to tell the truth, or else.” That’s just what Pam would do - let me go so far, then expect me to shape up. She really knew how to witness about mercy and stuff just by how she lived.
Anyway, I acted groggy when I got home, then I held the thermometer under my arm to make it go up, and acted like I was really sick. I even had Dad complaining that I shouldn’t have gone to school that last day.
A week later, I said I was going to school to get my diploma and last report card, which I said they were holding. I knew if I pretended to do something dumb, it would look natural. So, I stopped for hair care supplies, took about an hour to ride around, then went back home claiming my diploma and report card had either blown off the seat of my motorcycle or been stolen. Dad screamed for five minutes about how irresponsible I was, and had Mom convinced I couldn’t get another one after doing something dumb like that.

Danny:
I figured Jesse was just being reckless, as usual. Pam never told me because I respected her wishes not to tell everything bad Jesse ever did, just like I tried to talk to the girls in private about their misdeeds. It shocked me that he hadn’t had much homework, too. I had to let Pam handle it, though, as I suspected he was just slacking off as usual. I was too busy with my last semester of college,62 work, and dreaming - in a controlled way, of course - of something very special. Our own house.


54 “Up On The Roof”

55 “Educating Jesse”

56 “One Last Kiss”

57 The name on the banner is different in “One Last Kiss”’s flashback and “Prom Night.” And, the elementary school seems to be one story in most outside footage the first few seasons, and two in at least part of “Double Trouble.” Even if a floor wasn’t added to it, this shows normal community growth and change, consistent with the major redistricting at the same time.

58 They could have kept him from marching in his graduation or even from receiving his diploma if he’d does something really bad. He’d know this if he was graduating, another sign he never graduated.

59 “Just Say No Way”

60 A necklace visible in numerous episodes, plain enough it looks to be a man’s or woman’s cross necklace. Since the actor had the option of wearing it or not, it should be considered part of Jesse’s character.

61 “Stephanie Gets Framed”

62 “Fraternity Reunion” - aired in spring of 1990 - says it’s been 10 years since they graduated.

[DTF955]

IV: MAKING A HOUSE A HOME - Apr. 1980-May 1987
1. Our Own Home – Apr., 1980-Nov., 1983
Danny - Apr., 1980:
Pam and D.J. merrily pranced to a children’s record as I came home from classes one day. D.J. wore a pretty red dress she‘d gotten for her birthday, with a light blonde ponytail; her hair would darken as she got older, like some little kids’ do. “Loo, loo, skip to the loo, skip to the loo my darling!” I sang off key as they ran and embraced me. “Or is it skip to my loo? Aw, who cares, how’s my little tennis ball head?” I kidded D.J. by asking, “How’s the potty training going?”
“Daddy, we did that already.”
“I know, you’re almost always dry, even at night,” I said excitedly as I cuddled her. Pam went to get the door; Jesse had come over. “I said that because a loo is a bathroom in Britain. So, over there, ‘skip to the loo,’ means go to the bathroom. Of course, if it’s ‘skip to my loo’ I guess it means you can use my bathroom.’”
D.J. scrunched up her little face and said, “Huh?”
“Sorry, guess that flew right over your head, huh? Oh, hey, Jess.”
Before he could answer, Pam blurted, “Jesse, guess what. We found this really nice house over on Girard Street…”
“Wait a minute, wait a minute.” I put D.J. down, ran to get the video camera, and came back quickly, with D.J. following. “Could you repeat what you just said?” I beamed as Pam laughed; that same delightful laugh I’d fallen in love with years ago.
Jesse shook his head. “I don’t believe this guy; he’s as logical as Mr. Spock on Star Trek, and yet he hugs everyone and get all emotional over every little thing.”
“Oh, Jesse, he loves to celebrate life. Come on in.” D.J. had run up to him, and Jesse scooped her up and spun her a little before putting her down. He sat on the couch with Pam and I. “I figured you’d want to hear the good news,” Pam proclaimed. “I even called Danny in class, I was so excited. We found the perfect place; it just went up for sale. You know how we’ve dreamed of moving into the Fraser St. district? Well, we found this wonderful place on Girard Street!”
As Jesse whooped excitedly, I held up a hand. “Nothing’s set in stone yet,” I cautioned. Pam agreed resignedly; she could get very excited. “We still need financing, even if they accept our offer. It’s a little bigger than we’d planned for right now, but we should be able to make a decent down payment, though the rates are sky high. We’ll probably have to wait for it to come down in price, but with interest rates the way they are, it’ll probably be on the market for a few months.”63
As I discussed the situation, Pam noticed before anyone else that D.J. had disappeared. She ran into the kitchen.
I followed to hear Pam loudly lecturing her on how dangerous it was to get into the cleaning stuff under the sink - thankfully she hadn’t opened any of the products.
“Thank goodness. D.J., you know what we’ve said,” I said as she hung her head in shame. It broke my heart to see her sad, but she needed punished with a timeout.
I could see on D.J.’s face she knew Pam would send her to her room, but Pam had other ideas. “This is a good time for you to start punishing her,” she whispered.
“I know. You always have things running so smoothly when I get home. I always turned things over to you because…” I sighed as D.J. sniffled in front of me. “Mommy’s right. You know not to get in the cleaning supplies. Because you did get in there, you need to be punished,” I lectured lightly.
I carried her to her room myself for timeout this time, with Pam behind me, and made D.J. stay there, where she remained for five minutes till I went to get her.
Once I stepped out of her room, I said, “Thanks, Pam; you’re right, it was time.” I struggled a little - I really wanted to keep babying her. Having Pam there really helped, though. There’s part of me that just wasn’t sure how to be a good dad to kids that young, since it was our mom who handled everything.
Pam tried to sense my thoughts, and did a great job as usual. “I know you like to think of D.J. as a baby,64 but she’s three. She knows to obey because Mommy says. But, you needed to start now. I was always here with her, though, and I always will be,” she reassured me, smiling broadly. “I know it takes you a while to get used to new things.”
“You’re right, it does. It takes me a long while sometimes,” I admitted with a laugh. “When I was home I’d at least tell you she needed punished.”
“You’ve right, we’ve got a very good little girl. She’s learning manners, respect, compassion, all the things a child should at this age.” Pam grinned broadly as we walked into the living room. After several minutes, we went up to let her out of her room, and she didn’t get in those products again.
Pam always wanted to be the best. We weren’t always doing the right thing, we were young and inexperienced. But, we were doing very well. “I guess I got complacent, too, Pam. You always have everything running so smoothly, it‘s incredible.” We embraced and kissed warmly. We were in love, and knew it. We were growing from the post-honeymoon struggles into the family years.

Pam – On freezing, etc.:
I was proud of Danny. I knew this was a good time to start him punishing D.J., since it was for something dangerous. He tended to lean on me a little more than most husbands might, but the important thing was, he was willing to discipline.
What we really needed was a way to prevent such problems in the future. Only later, when Stephanie was a baby, would we come up with the idea - a freeze command that the whole household obeyed. It would be used to make the person stop all movement, generally just in an emergency.65
He still was inclined to pamper D.J.. This house had four bedrooms, with one having a beautiful picture window and a lovely part in front to store things, or just to lean against the wall and write in your diary. Well, guess who would get that bedroom - D.J.. I thought it was a nice master bedroom, it was a tad bigger than the second biggest one, but that was Danny for you. While I had to caution Danny against being too strict and controlling, I also had to caution him against being overindulgent.

Danny:
I went around telling everyone about the house maybe working out, because I knew Pam was so excited she’d have told everyone it was a sure thing.
As it turned out, it took a few months till they came down in price, but the market was so rough we managed to buy it, and get financing. I had steady income from work by then, and Pam had her babysitting money.
It worked out nicely, as I discovered lots of our family members were willing to help a little, if we were a couple hundred shy or something.
The biggest surprise was my biological dad. He was an attorney - I’d kidded him that one of my kids would be one of the Supreme Court’s greatest minds.66 We’d stayed in touch. And, just as we began to fret about whether we could do it, he came through.
“Danny, I wasn’t very good to your mom or you kids at times,” he confessed over the phone. “But, I want to help each of you some. Now, I told her not to tell anyone, but I gave Wendy a little something to help her get to Africa for her studies. And, I wanted to help you with something, too; as a little apology for ignoring you all these years.”
He was the kind who never made noise about things - he was a quiet, hard worker who believed in the old Protestant work ethic. When he said a little something, he meant more than Pam or I could have imagined. It turned a barely adequate down payment into a very comfortable one, and kept us from having as many worries about house payments, though we were very glad the rates went down by 1983 so we could refinance.
I liked the fact Pam didn‘t have to become a nanny. I knew from interviewing pro athletes that a few used them. But, now she could just be a great at-home Mom to our own kids like she wanted.

D.J.:
I’ve seen that video of Dad getting that check, and going wild with hugs, so much I have every line, every portion of screen memorized. Same with moving in; I’d seen what Joey filmed for us so much it got etched into my memory.67
That’s the fascinating thing. Memory is affected so much by pictures, videos, and stories; it’s hard to say what I recall because I clearly remember being there, and what I recall because I’ve seen it. The first years, up to seven or eight, are usually not that crisp and clear, though certain things remain. So, it’s easy to be off by a year or two.
Stephanie’s even more like that when it comes to Mom - she remembers Mom, and might vividly recall getting Mr. Bear, her favorite stuffed bear, when Michelle came home. That’s about it, though - more of it is general thoughts, like singing “On Top of Spaghetti” because we always did,68 but not recalling a specific instance.
I probably don’t remember this as much as I recall all the pictures and everything. It’s still memory to me, though, and my brain filled in parts that aren’t on film. And, it’s one I’ll treasure, even if it is a compilation, because it helps me remember Mom. I had more years with her, but it’s still fun to recall this time, especially now with my own kids.

Pam – Moving In:
When we finally were able to move in, near the end of the year, D.J. ran through the house like crazy, squealing with delight. The staircases were a constant source of amusement the first few months, as she could go up one and come down the other. She was always trying hard to be the best, and tricky – and sometimes a little sneaky – things were fun to her, because they made her think.
The house was like a castle to her. We’d planned on something more moderate in size, but with the slump due to interest rates being so high, and the lowering of the price, it was too good to pass up.
Now, Jesse could drop by any time, which he did. And, Danny and I promised, if he would ever have to move in with a baby, he could, as long as he worked hard and paid his share of the house payments and didn’t bring any bad elements into the house. We didn’t think he’d do that, but we weren’t sure. At least now, we had room.


63 The approximate date of “12 years” in “A House Divided” is possible, but high interest rates then would make it more likely that the sellers would offer a lower price, knowing how hard it will be to sell otherwise. Plus, as will be shown later, consensus is that the episode is a dream, anyway.

64 Pam not being there led to depression that kept him from punishing Michelle. Still, fans feel he might wait till here, since Pam had things running so smoothly and it was his first.

65 They say “freeze” and the person stops like in a “stop action“ film, but it‘s really a big rule in some homes, and Jesse and Joey would know of the rule was there way before moving in. In “Middle Age Crazy” Danny says they were much more experienced now and they’d made mistakes with D.J.. Not having their “freeze” command early would be one mistake, to him.

66 “A Pinch for a Pinch,” he sees Michelle this way

67 “A House Divided,” even if the memory is etched in, she can still get the number of years mixed up off the top of her head, along with her age at the time. Plus, as noted elsewhere, the episode’s likely a dream. Fan consensus was that they bought in 1980, when Danny graduated. When Pam was pregnant with Steph also works; if the house was on a year before purchase, but memory from age 3-5 is spotty.

68 “Goodbye, Mr. Bear”

[DTF955]

Jesse – Apr. 1981 - The Fonz of the ‘80s:
I strolled happily into Pam and Danny’s house – Danny had seen me behind him on my motorcycle. From my excited mood, Pam knew something was up. Sadly, from my lifestyle, she could tell it was another girl. “It’s a good thing you don’t get girls’ names tattooed on you, Jesse; you’d have them all over your body,” Pam cracked.
“You’re funny, you know that, Pam. So, the little one’s in bed, huh?”
“Yes, it’s almost midnight,” Danny noted. “I just got in from work.”
“Man, I feel sorry for little kids. Anyway, I figured you and Pam would be up. This girl and I, we just got engaged.”69
“Yeah, sure; and tomorrow you’re running for governor. Jess, you just turned eighteen,” Danny said with a grin, figuring I couldn’t be serious.
We weren’t really thinking marriage yet, but Danny’s comment put me on the defensive. Opposition like that tended to make me want to do things even if I really hadn’t planned on it. “Come on, man, you and Pam were ready then.”
“Jess, I was getting a college education, and I had a show on campus.”
Pam said further that, “We had direction in our lives; and even then, we admit now we should have waited. We’ve told you that.”
“Yeah, well, what if I don’t want to wait? We’ve known each other a few months, and we just had a great time in the back seat of her car.” Pam gave me that look. “Don’t worry, she’s over eighteen. I know the law. I know underage girls are off limits, just like gangs and stuff. Now that I’m eighteen, I’m sure you’ve added that to the list of things where…” I looked appreciatively at Pam, but didn’t reveal too much of myself. “I don’t know what you’d do, but I know it’d be because you care. But I love this girl.”
“Jesse, you say that about every girl,” Danny noted. “How they ever picked Henry Winkler over you for the role of the Fonz, I’ll never know,” he joked.
Pam and I sat on the couch. “I really am proud of you for obeying the law.”
“Come on, Pam, you know I would.”
She told me she was sure. “Men are supposed to be breadwinners, though. It was easier for me; and even then, Danny’s right. We struggled. We’re very lucky to have this house. Danny was very lucky to get a good job out of college. Your prospects are pretty bad.” I agreed; I was playing in a band I’d put together, and working at a garage. “I hate to be so blunt, but you are nowhere near ready to even think of marriage.”
“Yeah, but I don’t want all that family stuff like you guys. We just, well…”
I hammed and hawed as Danny spoke. “Jess, the type of woman you go out with is not ready for such a big responsibility. All you and any woman want is fun. You know that. You get married because you want to spend the rest of your lives together.”
“All right, I promise, I won’t.” I sighed, turned slowly to Pam, and muttered, “It hasn’t happened or anything, but, you know that promise to let me move in if a woman and I… well, you know, if I’d have to take care of….it’s still there, right?”
“Always,” she assured me. “You’d have to stop all these dates, maybe work two jobs, but Danny and I would always let you move in if you had to.” Luckily, that never happened, so I never had to take them up on it. But, I was grateful, anyway.
“Thanks, Pam. I guess it is crazy for me to think about a relationship that lasts that long, huh?” We laughed together at the thought.

Joey – Oct. 31, 1981 – Halloween, allergies, other various things:
I took D.J. trick or treating; Pam was pregnant with Stephanie. We all thought Steph looked ready to start talking right away when we saw her after she was born. I managed not to cry with the others like I had D.J., but it was still awesome.
D.J. was Dorothy this year, and I was the tin man. Along with my outfit, I had a funny walk and made creaking noises that she thought were hilarious. Danny took the girls dressed as the Tidy Bowl Man when Pam was pregnant with Michelle.
Pam and Danny were adamant that there be no witches, ghosts, or anything scary around the girls. His interest was keeping them safe and not scared. Pam recognized an evil part to some of the stuff. It wasn’t right to “celebrate” it, but they thought it was okay if treated like a big costume ball. Hence, the Joker – who was a bad guy – was fine, but Elvira was as spooky as any of them got, and that was just one year. Nicky and Alex and the others were all taught the same – play dress-up, but nothing scary. That way, you’re not honoring the devil, you’re just at an outside costume party.
Usually, Pam took them, and I went along for fun. The girls wore costumes like angels, or a favorite Disney character, or an animal. We had a whole zoo one year. I was the Cowardly Lion from the Wizard of Oz, Danny a giraffe, Michelle a Care Bear, and Steph a parrot. D.J. was in tenth grade then and not interested, and Jesse and Becky just stayed home with the twins and passed out candy, they weren’t a year old yet.
D.J. didn’t always like really furry costumes; she was fine riding horses but some stuff got to her if she was around it a long time.70 The younger girls didn’t have allergies, but nuts caused Michelle problems when little. That’s normal with small kids, because their bodies aren’t built completely then.

D.J. – Kimmy and Halloween:
Starting in first grade, Kimmy’s parents brought her to go with us. She liked spooky stuff, but after Mom explained her point of view, Kimmy agreed not to dress in anything bad. She knew she’d get more candy in our neighborhood, so she heeded our wishes. She’d been E.T. in Kindergarten, only because the movie was so big; she even wore the outfit to school, when her parents were too lazy to do laundry for a few days.
Dad came up with a cute idea when Kimmy first came with us. We represented sugary cereals – he said it was perfect since we were out for candy, anyway. Kimmy was Count Chocula – she joked about sucking all the chocolate out of the city, but that’s it. Joey was the Cocoa Puffs bird. I was the Trix rabbit. Dad was Cap’n Crunch – he didn’t go the next year, he had to work. Steph was a toddler leprechaun – Lucky Charms - and Mom was Tony the Tiger. She didn’t usually have the personality of one, but said when it came to protecting her kids, she did. We did that two straight years, it was so much fun. And, by the time Kimmy and I were in third, she’d forgotten about the scary stuff and was just weird. She confined her interest in scary stuff to a few movies.

Pam – Jan., 1982 – Baby Stephanie and Norton the Duck:
“This isn’t right.”
“What’s wrong, Dear?” I asked D.J.. She was holding her pillow person – an adorable pillow with eyes, arms, and legs – and moping on the couch.
“Everyone’s paying attention to baby Stephanie, saying she’s soooo cute,” D.J. complained. “All I have is this Pillow Person.”
I put the baby, now two weeks old, in her bassinette and put an arm around D.J.. “I know it’s rough, honey. But, you loved that pillow person when I brought him home for you, when I brought Stephanie home from the hospital.”
D.J. agreed sullenly. “It’s okay, I guess. I made a new friend today, anyway, so I don’t really need it as much. But, why couldn’t I have been an only child?”
I ignored the “new friend” comment to focus on D.J.’s main concern. We knew one of the negative aspects of waiting till a child was old enough to play independently and help a little with a baby was that she’d be too accustomed to having all the attention all the time. However, I explained that D.J. could be a great big sister. She’d been super excited about doing that before Stephanie was born, after all. She was ready to do everything, even change diapers.
Danny wasn’t ready for her to do that yet, and even I thought she was a few years too young for diapers. But, I was excited, and in my excitement I couldn’t tell D.J. was having mixed feelings. On the other hand, I don’t think she understood, even though we tried to tell her, just what having a sister would mean.
“Here, while she’s awake, why don’t you hold Stephanie?” I chuckled. “Daddy will think I’m nuts for letting you hold her when you won’t be five for a couple weeks,” I said as I adjusted pillows and showed D.J. how to hold her arms and keep them still.
“If you want me to give in by looking at how cute she is, it won’t work.”
“Oh, no, Dear. Just talk to baby Stephanie. She likes hearing people talk to her in a nice, tender voice,” I said as she started to gurgle. “Listen, it’s almost like she wants to start talking herself.” I finally handed the baby to her.
D.J. knew I wouldn’t back down. “Okay,” she said reluctantly. “Hey, Stephanie. I’m D.J.. Guess I get to be your big sister forever, huh? Well, maybe it won’t be so bad. It was just Mommy and me all day. But I’ll be in Kindergarten this fall. And Norton and I have a good time here.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Who’s Norton?”
“Norton, my new friend. He’s right over there,” she indicated with her head.
“Oh,” I said, suddenly realizing she meant an imaginary friend. I went and pretended to shake his hand. “What a charming boy you are, Norton.”
“Mommy, Norton is a duck,” D.J. said with a hint of annoyance.
“I knew you had a duck all along.” D.J. shook her head, but said nothing.
Danny came through the kitchen, having come home from work. “You what?!” He noticed D.J. holding the baby. “Are you, uh, sure she can do that?” he asked me.
“I’m fine, Daddy,” D.J. said with a little insistence. “Say ‘hi’ to Norton.”
“Where…honey, you and D.J. didn’t have a duck follow you home from the park, did you?” Danny asked, fidgeting as he looked around for him.
I couldn’t stop giggling at Danny. “Dear, Norton is imaginary,” I told him. “The name probably came from a local history show,” I said. Recently, we’d seen on the independent station Danny works for about this eccentric fellow who went around calling himself Emperor Norton of the United States back in the 1860s.
“Oh, right. I knew that.” He told D.J., “That’s fine, honey, but tell Norton we won’t bow down to him.”
“Why would you do that? He’s just a duck.”
“Yeah, why would you, Daddy,” I teased. Out of D.J.’s hearing, I quipped, “If she wanted an emperor, she’d have made him a penguin.” Norton the Duck was rather regal in his actions, but never really bossy. D.J. kept him as an imaginary friend for a little over a year, till she became friends with Kimmy and some other classmates. Stephanie would up adopting Mr. Bear as her friend after Michelle was born.

Danny:
We shared our lives with that duck off and on for a while. He came around mostly when we were busier with Stephanie.
Ironically, D.J. didn’t want Joey doing the voice for Norton. I guess that way, she kept it all in her imagination. That makes sense, in a way – I don’t know how anyone else could know what an imaginary friend sounded like.
We’d wanted three, probably four kids, and tried to plan them four to five years apart so the older one could play by herself and help a little with a baby. Some parents try to plan them closer or don’t plan at all, but we felt this was best.
Jesse showed no signs of settling down, though I said he had to sometime. Now, Nick would have to work till he was past sixty before handing the business over, even if our next was a boy. That was like Nick – I could see him doing it till he was eighty.

Jesse – Working a little for Nick, job interview:
After a while, Pop sort of gave up hope. I didn’t mind. I didn’t want to be tied down. I enjoyed the carefree life with the band. I worked a bit on odd jobs here and there. I even worked for my dad when I was short on funds. The offer was always open, though he tried to cajole me once by making me interview if I wanted it; and, when Mom was there with me, she started to embarrass me.71 But, inherit the business? No way.

Joey – Mar., 1983:
D.J. grew to like Stephanie, especially once she was a toddler. Pam was great at working with them. A lot of that, too was D.J.’s desire to be really mature. She loved to use her mind, and learn about things. It also meant one experiment in particular, when she figured she knew the concept but was just a little unsure.
While Danny was downstairs for a moment, D.J. ran some water. Then, she got Steph undressed and into the tub. “We have to make sure this is really shallow so you don’t drown,” she insisted; their lessons about safety had stuck. “I know what’s going to happen, I’m just making sure,” she said. It was like one of those Columbo mysteries where you know who did it, but you don’t know how they’ll find out.
What she was seeing was that Steph wouldn’t go down the drain with the water; when she didn’t, D.J. knew it was safe.72 D.J. held onto Steph while the water was going down, as she said, “Just in case, so I could catch her.”
Danny came up to check on them just as the water was being let out. D.J. pointed out that she hadn’t had had much water in the tub by showing where it had been wet. Still, she got sent to her room for giving the baby a bath alone. Danny was very cautious because of concerns about slipping in the tub.
Once they went to let her out, D.J. apologized right away. And, Danny and Pam admitted that she had been very safe, and told her they were proud of her for that; she didn’t lose any other privileges since she had been safe, but also apologetic right away.


69 He mentioned being “engaged” in the episode “I’ve Got A Secret”

70 Being in an enclosed space for many hours with an animal, as in “You Pet It, You Bought It,” is different than out in the open with a horse, as in other episodes.

71 “Working Mothers,” she’d have no reason to be there to pinch him and say how cute he was at other job interviews, but Jesse is the kind to take one time and say she did it at “every one.” This, then, is likely it.

72 “It’s Not My Job” – a child of six would know this, yet could need a bit of assurance

[DTF955]

2. Call of the Wild - Nov., 1983
D.J. – Steph, Climbing, and Her First Timeout:
I was happily preparing for my role as “Yankee Doodle,”73 while glancing behind me at Saturday morning cartoons. I didn’t want to appear too interested - I liked them, but I always felt a little too sophisticated for some of them; hence my regal imaginary friend. Even as a kid, reading interested me a lot more. I didn’t read till I was in Kindergarten, but I picked it up very fast. Stephanie would end up learning at an earlier age, though Michelle was about the same level. School usually came pretty easy for me.74
I liked Strawberry Shortcake, though. I had all the dolls in the set - Dad went crazy and bought them all when I had my tonsils out in August. That figured - he bought over 100 jars of honey from me for the Honeybee fundraising drive. And, then there was the piggyback ride to Kindergarten my first day;75 I felt on top of the world after that one. It kept me from feeling too down about not having many friends right away.
Suddenly, Dad ran from the couch and grabbed Stephanie, who was climbing from a chair to the mantle above the fireplace. The suddenness and slightly raised voice scared Stephanie - she cried as he sat her on a chair, and scolded “no climbing.” She was always as excitable as Mom, who quickly heard her and raced downstairs.

Pam:
I was amazed and a little anxious about Stephanie’s climbing, but Danny was having second thoughts about making her sit. “Honey, you did the right thing…wow, we’ve got a real athlete on our hands if she‘s climbing like that!”
“I know…I’m sorry, Stephanie, I shouldn’t have scared you,” Danny said tenderly. He told her she could get up, and then before she could, he picked her up and hugged her. “Daddy just doesn’t want you climbing where you can hurt yourself. That was very dangerous to climb up there,” he said softly as he sat and cuddled her. “That’s why you had to sit there for a minute.”
As Stephanie sniffled, I could see so much of me. “She frightens easily, in a way.” We won’t have to worry about this one, I said to myself.
Danny nodded. “I know. Deej, pay extra close attention to your sister now, in case this is the start of a major climbing phase.”
“Okay, Dad.”
I could tell the request wearied D.J. a little. I knelt and put an arm around her. “I know, we’ve talked about how you don’t like it sometimes if she gets so much attention. But, if you help her now, she’ll need less attention later. You’re such a good big sister,” I said enthusiastically. Soon, I was giving her a pep talk about all she could do to help.

Danny – Dr. Dare Rides – the First Time:
I hated seeing Stephanie cry. I’m just so protective; I had put her in timeout before I really thought about it. I had to laugh - as I told Pam, “I’ll bet you’re in shock. I waited till D.J. was three and here I time Steph out at 22 months.”
“Well, it was for something dangerous.”
I agreed. “I don’t think I could do it otherwise. But, at least for this, I can.”
We were much more experienced now, and Pam easily advised me, “That’s fine. At this age, it’s more important to focus on one behavior. It might not go away totally right away, but we need to help her learn some self-control. And, with the Christmas tree and everything next month, that’ll be crucial.”
“I know.” I would time her out for climbing, but not much else for a while. I hated seeing them grow up, even before Pam died. Plus, Pam was usually there, anyway. The climbing subsided slowly, but it did stop in places she wasn’t allowed to climb after a while. Of course, when Jesse and Joey moved in, she scaled the curtains.76 I felt comfortable by then that she knew the rule very well, though.
Pam was right - Stephanie scared easily. Whether it was seeing Jesse after she cut his long hair and he broke his arms in an accident, or thinking we couldn’t love her after she wrecked Joey’s car at age eight, her sensitivity as a toddler was a sign of how hard she’d be on herself later. That made it easy to discipline her. She may have felt the call of the wild at times, but she remained in control enough her wildest wasn’t bad, compared to what it could have been. By her teen years, she was quite good.
Pam was glad we had a climber like her, in a way. Otherwise, I would have waited as long as I had with D.J.. And, I was really glad I’d timed her out a few minutes later, when I read about some dumb stuntman on a motorcycle. Pam knew right away who it was when she read the article.

D.J.:
Stephanie tested the rule a little, but we watched her closely. Mom did a great job of making me want to help. Dad was always torn between trying too hard to make me help or not doing enough to encourage me.
I could never stand to see her hurt, so this was easy. Still, while having us five years apart meant I could be more independent and help more, it also meant we weren’t going to get as close right away as kids do who are a few years apart or less.
Nobody could top Mom, though, for leading a family and helping us to get along - which she did a good job of overall. She knew how to handle much wilder ones. She read about this Dr. Dare in the newspaper, and she knew right away it was Uncle Jesse.

Pam – Reacting To His Dr. Dare Ride:
I was furious. I loved Jesse with all my heart, but I hated seeing him in the news like that. Yes, it could have been worse, he wasn’t a criminal. Still, I had to confront him. I wanted him to live a long life, after all, and he certainly wasn’t going to do it like this.
D.J. knew I was upset. When I told her it was something Jesse had done, she asked if he was okay. I replied, “Yes, but he’s totally nuts,” and explained. She quickly turned to Stephanie, shook her finger, and said it was a good thing we timed her out for climbing. We didn’t get to church every Sunday, but usually we did, though the amount would diminish once I was gone, till the girls were grown.
Still, here D.J. remembered about prayer, and asked if we could pray for Jesse. I felt so proud! Some of my lessons were being remembered.
Once we had done that, I called one of my friends to babysit while Danny went in to work. She brought her two-year-old, Ian, along with her, and I left for the apartment Jesse had moved into a couple years earlier.

Jesse:
I’d pulled my biggest Dr. Dare stunt, riding my motorcycle on the ledge of a six story building. Some people had spotted me, called the paper, and even snapped a picture. Normally, I would have liked the publicity. But, I couldn’t help but wonder what my parents would say. As you might figure, though, Pam gave me a huge lecture, whereas my parents had sort of given up trying. I got a lesson in anatomy, as she seemed to go from head to toe listing all the things I could have broken.

Pam:
I had to give Jesse a piece of my mind. I reminded him he was special, and that we would be so sad if he got hurt or died. He hadn’t come to see us very much in the last few years, but we still would have missed him terribly. I wanted him to care about his life. I even brought up his supposed graduation, warning him if he did anything really bad, I’d have to tell everyone what I suspected. I reminded him I hadn’t done that in over three years, so there was clearly something very important about this type of stunt.
I kept thinking about that and another mother’s comments. I discussed it with my friend, thought some more, and waited till the girls were in bed and Danny and I had some time alone that evening. As we cuddled on the couch and talked, I asked, “What would we do if we ever had a kid like Jesse?”
“I don’t know. Something tells me I’d have to let you handle it, though. You know how much trouble I had putting Steph in timeout. I‘ve grounded D.J. a couple times, but she‘s so good compared to Jesse. And, then that Dr. Dare stunt…”
His head was spinning. I had to chuckle. Danny would try hard to get out of things he really hated to do. Usually, though, he’d sense something was necessary and do it. Starting to punish or talking about what happened if one of us died had been like that. I suspected telling D.J. the “facts of life” would be a major hurdle, too.
That was the only major downside, though. He loved family, work, and even cleaning! I’d heard horror stories from ladies my mom’s age, so believe me, I was quite happy to have Danny hesitant on some things but all gung ho about cleaning.
“Seriously, Danny,” I said as we snuggled, “he’s a real rebel. He’d usually go to his room when sent, and when he was grounded he generally obeyed that, too. But, if a child won’t stay in their room, there’s a point you can’t hold the door shut, or remove any more privileges, because they’ve all been taken away.”
“Don’t forget chores; I’m willing to let them clean if I have to,” Danny said.
I agreed while folding my hands. This was hard for me to say, too. “You’re right, we’ve come up with tons of other options. And…I know neither of us believes in spanking, especially what some think of when they mention spanking.”
“Oh, certainly,” Danny said nervously, “I can’t even bring myself to say it.”77 The idea bothered him more than it did D.J. if she heard friends mention it.
“I know. I could never hurt someone badly, and I‘m glad you couldn‘t either. We need to be in control of ourselves to discipline properly. Some do it and stay in control, but we grew up with families that never used it. We agreed not to,” I said, summarizing the talks we’d had. “Maybe it‘s genetic, maybe not, but timeout and lost privileges work really well in our family.”
“And chores; I’m willing to let them do chores, too,” Danny remarked.
I agreed, and continued. “I’m talking about light fwaps, just scaring a kid like Jesse, or maybe having it pinch a little at the most. It would have to be a last resort. If the kid wouldn’t obey any other restrictions…” I trailed off, disliking the thought myself.
“Right, like Dennis the Menace. Except, not staying in the corner.”
“Exactly. I don’t think it would come to that. D.J. accepts punishments and obeys very well. She’s only been grounded once, and that just for a few days. And, grounding has been able to mean just being unable to go anywhere. Plus, if she‘s rude, she apologizes right away, or after thinking about it in her room. The last couple times, she‘s said she’s sorry without being prompted, let alone sent to her room.78 She‘s learning to realize when she‘s done wrong.”
“I know, you’re the best mother around,” Danny complimented me.
“Thanks. This is more about Jesse, I guess,” I surmised. “The other day, one of the moms in our group was talking about one of her children, and I got to thinking. Then, seeing my brother almost break his neck really drove it home. We need a plan so one doesn‘t get that bad. Just holding them down and patting could be very emotional. It’d work for ours, anyway, if need be, since they‘re sensitive enough.”
Danny lowered his head. “Well…that would be up to you. We‘d discuss it, but…” He fidgeted. “I couldn’t bring myself to even scare them like that.”
I put an arm around him. “Honey, don’t worry. I’m glad you couldn’t. I’m glad you’re so gentle, and tender, and loving. I want to be the best mother ever, though. And that means always knowing what’s going on, and being ready for anything,” I emphasized, reassuring him I’d never thought about it with our kids. I’d been tempted to smack Jesse after that Dr. Dare stunt, but I didn‘t. “If I did think it would get to that point, I’d tell you, and we’d talk about it with that Jesse type of kid.”
“Okay,” he sad resignedly. “You’re always so good at this sort of thing. You know how to handle everything. I’d be so lost without you.”
I concurred. He was very involved, but also dedicated to his work, so I handled lots of things.79 Thankfully, I would never even think about the possibility of such a light “spanking.” But, if I wanted to be the best, I felt I had to be ready, just in case.

Jesse:
Pam was right - I had my music to think of, if nothing else. I wouldn’t exactly get a record deal lying in the morgue. I hated it when she was so blunt, but she was right. At least she hadn’t tried to make me eat sushi as punishment - that sounds like one of her tricks. I still thought about the pet fish I killed. I never wanted another pet, that black Labrador retriever had been Pam’s. However, once I challenged Danny, and pledged to try it if he did something. So, I managed to start liking sushi anyway.80
I decided after that to start spending more time on my music, and less pulling dangerous stunts. I still did dares, but the guys never pushed me to do anything nearly that dangerous. It seems Pam threatened a very loud talk with them, too.
Anyway, that group and I went our separate ways, as a couple of them had other interests, and my best friend from that era, Pete Bianco, wound up going to Europe after a few years. I’d been the band’s top performer, so I put together a new band, the Rippers, and devoted myself to music. Of course, that opened up a new can of worms.

Danny – Thanksgiving, 1983 - Sesame Street’s Special Episode:
There was a time when Sesame Street was for older kids; the whole family, really. They wanted to teach about death, because the actor who played Mr. Hooper had passed away. They felt it would be a great way to help children not be scared of it.
They forgot to make a way, first, to help me not be scared to watch it with the kids. They didn’t, so, I went a little overboard. Okay, a lot.

Pam:
That Danny; he’s so sweet. He always tried to protect our girls. But, this was actually a very good time for Sesame Street to air that episode. It wouldn’t be shown in normal reruns; just this one time. And, it was at a time when families would be together. It was the perfect time to discuss life, death, and so on. PBS made a point to publicize it.

D.J.:
Mom had had to prod Dad not to leave or interrupt with things off the subject when we’d talk about the birds and the bees later. With this episode, where Big Bird learns that Mr. Hooper died, Dad tried to convince me not to watch Sesame Street that day. I asked, “What happened, did the Cookie Monster get sick eating out of Oscar’s trash can?” It would have been just like Dad to be nervous about that.
“No, Dear,” Mom explained. “Your father’s just nervous, because it’s going to be about something Daddy doesn’t like to think about.” She went on to say Mr. Hooper had passed away; that’s the name many viewers knew him by. He was a grandfatherly person who was always so nice.
Dad called the station and asked if they were sure they wanted to air it; they assured him that it would be done very tastefully, and it would really be about life, not just Mr. Hooper’s death. Dad finally relented.

Joey:
We were all there watching. I cried when Susan told Big Bird, “Mr. Hooper’s not coming back.” Danny and Pam did, too; Stephanie was taking her afternoon nap, before dinner. D.J. was teary but also interested in talking; how did he die, for instance. Danny said it was a heart attack; and that he didn’t suffer; we weren’t sure how the actor died, and Danny didn’t want her thinking about really long illnesses. Jesse was there, too; he promised in front of everyone not to do any more death-defying stunts.
D.J. was at the perfect age, 6.5, for this to be very meaningful. It was done in a way she could appreciate and get lots of information on as she and Danny and Pam talked over the next days and weeks. Which makes sense, since that was Big Bird’s age by this time; he was originally said to be four, I think, but then they aged him a bit so he was more of a leader. Looking back, maybe this is when they chose to do that.
Either way, it helped D.J. to mature, and to be able to grasp it better when Pam died, so she could help Steph. For now, though, the best thing, when she worried about that, was to promise that nothing should happen to her parents. But, if something did, that they had made sure she would always be cared for, no matter what.


73 “The Play’s The Thing”

74 “El Problema Grande de D.J.,” also “The Graduates” implies she was the top student in 7-8th grade

75 “Prom Night”

76 “Our Very First Show” - as the camera shifts you can see Danny talking and making her sit to settle for a moment on the side, though it’s more a settling timeout, not a punishment one.

77 “Silence Is Not Golden,” Stephanie says Danny never hits before realizing Charles meant his dad hit real hard; her expression changes only after she says Danny never hits. Also, book “Dude of My Dreams,” Danny runs out of ways to punish after giving Stephanie many chores

78 Something she always was able to do on the show if she got overheated

79 “Daddy’s Home,” also “Our Very First Episode” - he says Pam always had things running so smoothly.

80 “A Fish Called Martin” and “Is It True About Stephanie,” expanded later in the TV Years

[DTF955]

3. By Any Other Name – 1984
Jesse - February 12, 1984 – Pondering a new name:
The Olympics were in Los Angeles, and Papouli wrote and said he was coming to visit us, too. I was so excited; I hadn’t seen him in seven years. He’d taken such good care of me in Greece, and of course when I was little. Now, I needed even more help.
You see, as the Rippers and I traveled around to local clubs, there was a real problem. Nobody knew how to say “Katsopolis,” let alone spell it. So, there was no way to get name recognition for Jesse Katsopolis and the Rippers." Like with other stars, I figured I had to get a stage name.
If it was just my dad, I might have just changed my name altogether. He kept bugging me to work for him. I’d tried my hand at exterminating, and he said I’d done a good job. But, it just didn’t interest me like music did.
I had Papouli to think about, though. How would he feel if I went with a stage name, and quit my father’s business? It might break the poor man’s heart.
I didn’t know how to approach it. But, Danny and Pam helped me write him a few days later, explaining what I wanted to do and why it was important; we figured that was easier than a phone call, much more thought out and way less expensive.

Papouli - Feb. 27:
I knew my son would be angry. I replied that any stage name should be something near and dear to Nick’s heart. I also advised Jesse that he should promise to drop the name after a while. It could just be “Jesse and the Rippers,” without the last name, and he could go back to Katsopolis.81 Finally, I said he should pledge to return to his father’s employment if music didn‘t work out. If he promised these three things, I told him I would write personally to Nick and explain the situation, and support Jesse on it.

Danny - March 16:
Jesse couldn’t believe it - he raced over from his apartment to show us the mail. Papouli gave more support than he dreamed.82 I was really disappointed the station had assigned me to Los Angeles covering the Olympics for a few weeks. While Papouli and Gina would go to a few Olympic events after having stopped in San Francisco at the start of the Games, I‘d be way too busy, and the crowds way too big, for them to find me. But, from this and all that Pam had said, I knew he was a wonderful person.

Jesse - Mar. 21 – Why Cochrane as a stage name?:83
I chose my mother’s first husband’s name, Cochrane. I figured Dad would be okay with that, though he and Mom fought a lot sometimes - definitely not happy, though. The second was easy; I hadn’t even thought of it. The third was the hardest. As I thought about it, though, I liked it. What did “work out” mean? I could play for a while, even while working with Dad, and quit when I wanted. Of course, Dad figured “work out” meant I had to work for him unless I became another Frank Sinatra, but we never talked about what each other meant on anything by this time.
I agreed to those terms. In return, Papouli told me when he’d be sending his letter to Dad. Pam and I were there, while a sitter watched the girls and Danny worked.

Pam - April 19:
Jesse had told Dad when a letter came from Papouli, he wanted to be there with him when he opened it. Dad figured it was about their pending visit; he even joked that Jesse was too anxious for Elena to come.
Jesse and I got there, and then told of Jesse’s plans and promises before Dad opened it. Mom and I helped make sure Dad would stay calm before reading the letter. And, when he read it, well, he was a little upset. But, that’s all.

Papouli:
Along with announcing my support of Jesse, I spoke of the hardships of war, and how I suffered for my country and my children. I spoke of Jesse’s obvious love of music when he came in 1977. Finally, I spoke of his dream, the same dream that caused many to come to America. And, I said that no matter how foolish Nick may think it is, I had fought bravely so that boys like Jesse would be free to pursue their dreams. I also added a few stories of interest from my life in Pompadoris. They often provided very valuable moral lessons, as Jesse remembered well.
I was very pleased, when we came, to find that Nick was not very upset that Jesse went by Cochrane. And, Gina and I got to hear Jesse Cochrane and the Rippers.

D.J. - July 28:
I loved meeting Papouli. Steph didn’t remember him by 1990, but he had pictures of us that we’d send him. Since Dad missed them this time, he offered to put them up the next time they visited. Papouli promised to come for their 50th anniversary.84
That, of course, got Dad thinking about an office when he returned, since another baby would mean the guest bedroom would be gone, anyway.

Pam - July 30:
When Danny called, and we talked, I though an office in the fourth bedroom was great. Danny could be here a little more often, and the attic could be finished and turned into a wonderful guest bedroom or even a place for Jesse. I’d worried about him; we offered to let him stay as long as he needed provided he not bring any women who would not be good for impressionable young girls. Especially because a very impressionable girl showed up at our door the day before Papouli and Gina left for Los Angeles.

Kimmy - July 31:
D.J. and I had known each other since about six months into Kindergarten.85 I rode my bike there because I wanted to meet these people from Greece. I shook Papouli’s hand, and said, “Hey, your hands aren’t slippery with grease at all. Mrs. Tanner must have made you take a bath and wash all your grease off before you came.”
Then, he explained there was a country called Greece. It was right next to Turkey. I told him, “That makes sense. When we cook a turkey, a lot of grease winds up next to it.” Then, D.J. just showed me up to her room.

Pam – First Thoughts About Kimmy, Why Gibblers Start Staying in One Place:
When D.J. played “Yankee Doodle,” Kimmy waved the flag at inopportune times. Once, she even hollered backstage, “Hey, Deej, what‘s my line again?” during a scene. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but something was, well, odd about her.
She and her family lived in an apartment. Five years was their record for living in one place before the landlord made them move because of the mess.86 I talked to them about owning a home, but never dreamed they’d afford our neighborhood.
They would, however, when Grandpa Gibbler died. A small fortune in stock certificates was discovered. He’d disliked the products, so he used the stock to line his dressers and forgot it existed, thinking it worthless. They kept the outside up well once they came next door, and the inside respectable. When you own something you do tend to take more pride in it, I think. That’s why they did okay next door.
I warned D.J. not to let Kimmy steer her into any trouble, because a kid who rides her bike all over at age seven could get into it if she wasn’t careful. But, at the same time, I encouraged her to be the leader I knew she could be to help Kimmy.

D.J. – Kimmy’s weirdness, teasing, Pam helping:
Mom understood Kimmy - wait, let me correct that. Mom understood what she needed. Even I didn’t always understand Kimmy. Dad just found Kimmy too weird. He put up with her, but erred far more on the side of caution. Mom just insisted Kimmy be respectful. She was till after Mom died, then she got into weirder habits. Still, I watched, and usually, neither she nor our family felt hurt by each others’ teasing. If someone went too far, it was usually Kimmy. Still, she we all took jokes quite easily.
Mom and Dad didn’t let me go to Kimmy’s, even for birthday parties that never came within two weeks of each other, and were sometimes in different months. The Gibblers did whatever, whenever they felt like it, at times. Kimmy was the same way.
Once I got over how weird she could be, I was a friend out of compassion. As we grew closer, though, we had fun doing things together, and I forgot all about being a friend merely to help her, though I still did plenty of that.
When they finally moved here, it was after various talks about owning a home and what it meant. Mom also discussed ways to encourage Kimmy more. But, she didn’t push too hard, she didn’t want to scare them away from our help. She said just enough that they became respectable neighbors. But, more importantly, she showed them that we were the type of family they could trust Kimmy with.

Pam - Aug. 15, 1984:
Things were going very well for our family. Danny called every night from Los Angeles, and earned lots of extra money. D.J. was a born leader. Stephanie was well behaved for a child her age, though she still kicked or slapped a little when angry. I’d taught her well to use her words, though, and she did, as much as a very good child of 2.5 can do. I wouldn’t allow hitting in this house. Within months, she’d always be saying “How rude” instead of hurting anyone.
Now, all that remained would be to see what Danny did with that bonus from the Olympic broadcasts - put an office in, or save it for other purposes?


81 Removing it from the band, too, heavily implies a stage name.

82 Though Jesse’s comment in “The Last Dance” about Papouli taking care of him refers to the time when he was little, there must be other things he’d remember more vividly to be able to say that, since he’d be so young when Papouli was in America. This is an obvious one.

83 The actor wanted a name change to reflect his Greek heritage, but a reason must exist for the character, who is different from the actor. After all, some actor’s wishes have no bearing on the story being told. The character is totally independent, and needs a separate reason within the story. This one is not only quite plausible, with Jesse it was almost bound to happen.

84 “Greek Week,” Jesse introduces Danny as father of his great-grandchildren, as if Papouli met the girls.

85 “The First Day of Kindergarten,” they only talked about six months after that first day

86 The Trouble With Danny

[DTF955]

POINT OF DIVERGENCE

Narrator:

Great baseball player Yogi Berra once said, while giving directions, “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.” We‘re at the fork, the Point of Divergence between TV and Book Universe, where the Book Universe separates. Of course, you’ll see some post-series TV Universe happenings are from books that are closest to the TV Universe in character, so they shed additional light on what happens post-series.

We’ll take that fork by exploring both. First, we’ll trek through the universe most know, the TV one. After the TV and post-TV stories, we’ll pick it up from here. In the book universe you’ll see: 1. Michelle and Stephanie much more polite and well behaved, and better role models; 2. Jesse in the attic from the start, and Joey in the basement, as they are in books; 3. D.J., not Jesse, as mother figure in the books with Jesse being in the attic; and, of course, what starts it all, 4. An office in that fourth bedroom.

Some special sequences await you in the Book Universe section. However, for now, back to the TV Universe.

[DTF955]

4. Mom Upside-Down is Wow - Sept. 1984-Nov. ‘86
Danny – Bundles of Energy – Sept., 1984:
The thing about having a kid like Stephanie was, she didn’t stay in one place long. She was constantly trying to talk, too, but you couldn’t understand a lot of her words yet.
Thankfully, D.J. could help a little. “I can translate,” she piped up proudly as Stephanie grew frustrated that we couldn’t understand. D.J. put her book down and came over to us in the backyard. “When she swings her arm around it means something’s flying around her. ‘Dat’ means that; that one’s pretty easy.” We agreed. “She probably saw a bee, because she’s saying ‘noise,’ that one’s a little trickier.”
“I guess it makes sense. You know, you used to be that little once,” I said.
D.J. looked a little annoyed that I’d bring that up, but was very good at not saying anything, especially with Pam there, as she’d taught her well the importance of being nice and respectful. “Don’t tell anyone, okay?”
“Well, we’re glad you can still help,” Pam remarked. “Stephanie, did you want to try and go potty?” We were starting to work on training her. Stephanie nodded.
I grinned as Pam and Stephanie went in the back door. “I wonder where that bee was she saw? Probably around where Steph spilled some juice earlier.”
“I thought I heard it, too,” D.J. said as I felt something flying up my shorts; it was still pretty warm in early September, as that’s around the warmest part of the year in the Bay Area. It doesn’t start getting chilly till October. “Dad, what is it?” Before I knew it, I was down on the ground shaking my legs up in the air like crazy. “Are you okay?” she asked with a mixture of shock, concern, and confusion. I told her I was fine; I was just trying to get the bee out of my shorts.87
Finally, it was out. “Phew. Well, at least it wasn’t one of you girls. Bet you didn’t know I could move like that, huh?”
“That was certainly…interesting. Can I offer some advice?” I said she could. “Let’s not tell Kimmy this. She might try to do that on purpose.” I agreed, and said I was proud of her for taking the lead in keeping Kimmy from being even odder.

Joey – Thu., Jan., 17, 1985 – Birthdays and Super Bowls:
Pam was very involved in the girls’ lives; it was wonderful to see them develop. Stephanie had a little party with her friends today, while Danny was busy with sports. She was born just in time in 1982; a couple days later Danny had to fly out to Pontiac to cover the 49ers in the Super Bowl. Pam hadn’t been worried, it wasn’t common back then for the dad to be present, but of course Danny had been nervous because he always wanted to be there. Anyway, now, he was actually busier, because the 49ers were playing nearby in Palo Alto, less than half an hour away from San Francisco.
To avoid confusion it always seemed better to have a separate party for family. Danny was at that party, as he’d promised. But, we had it at one of the oddest times; 9:00 Saturday morning. That way, it would be right before he went into work, and he could be there for the whole thing. The game would be the following evening.
Pam organized both, and did a great job. She used me to help, of course, my comedy was always a hit, and I could tailor it to any age level.
By the time the 49ers were in their other Super Bowls, Danny was working on a talk show, but still had football-themed stuff, so he had a bit more work at times.

Pam - November 8, 1985:
“We’ve got the best we could ever ask for,” Danny said as we cuddled under the covers. D.J. and Stephanie were snug in their beds; or so we thought. D.J. was going to be reading for 15 minutes or so, of course; then, it was lights out. And as for us? We were thinking of having another little one, if the time was right.
I sighed contentedly. “You’re right, Danny. We had our problems in the beginning, but we made it through. And now?” I closed my eyes and muttered, “We need to enjoy them while they‘re young. D.J.’s mother-daughter slumber party is tomorrow night. And, when she gets a bit older, she‘ll start to cut those apron strings a little. She’ll think of her first slumber party as when she goes to one without me.”88
“I know, isn’t it amazing. Soon, they’ll be in college, getting married…oh my goodness.” He looked a little lightheaded. “Honey…I’m not ready for that. I just now got used to letting D.J. pick her own clothes. I mean, before, I would give her a choice, I’d say, ‘You may try these two on, and then choose,’ after all that‘s how kids learn to make choices, things like that. I guess we’ve done pretty well.”
Just then, we heard little knocks at the door. “Who is it?” I asked gently as I rose and put on a bathrobe, though Danny was still in pajamas, and I in my nightgown.
“Your rays of sunshine,” D.J. joked as I opened the door. She could tell it looked like she‘d interrupted, though I hadn‘t yet locked it. “You know, if Dad had put that office in the guest bedroom, I could have just entertained Stephanie in there.”
“Stephanie, what are you doing up?” I asked our three-year-old.
“I want to read.”
I was so proud of Stephanie. She wasn’t quite four, and yet she was interested in reading. “Honey, it’s not time to read, it’s time for bed.”
“That’s what I told her. She must have picked something up from some doctor show on TV, though. She said she wanted a second opinion,” D.J. explained.
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Well, the second opinion is that you need your sleep,” I said. I led them into Stephanie room. D.J. sat on a chair as I sat on the bed and gently rubbed Stephanie’s back. “We had such fun today.”
“D.J. told me your name upside-down,” Stephanie said as she closed her eyes, though she wasn’t yet sleepy.
“Upside-down? You mean with the letters backward?”
“No, upside-down,” Stephanie insisted.
I was curious; obviously I was missing something. “What do you mean?”
“Mom, Steph was holding a book upside down, and the word was ‘Mom,’ but the way Steph was holding it, it looked like ‘Wow.’ And, it‘s true; ‘wow’ is part of you,” she finished proudly.
“I want to read like that,” Stephanie pleaded.

D.J. – Stephanie struggling, then learning to read:
I tried to explain. “Well, that’s not quite how you read. Letters have to be right side up. I was just joking about ‘Mom’ and ‘wow’ - they just seem to go together.” Stephanie agreed. “I’ll show you tomorrow, okay?" She consented reluctantly.
We sang “On Top of Spaghetti,” as Stephanie got sleepy. We loved that song, though “You Are My Sunshine” was also a favorite – that was Steph’s special song, like “My Girl” was for me. Then, we discussed the party Mom would take me to, and the fun Steph would have with Dad that evening. After a few minutes, she was asleep.
I wanted to be the best big sister in the world. Mom really encouraged me to do that. By the time Stephanie was almost four, I was pretty much over my frustration at not being the center of attention. Of course, she was still in my stuff a lot, something Mom tried to manage. But, for the most part, we got along pretty well.
I decided part of being that great big sister was helping her read. I was so excited that she wanted to learn. But, I made the mistake of pushing her too hard. I wanted her reading ‘The Cat in the Hat’ by Christmas, and it just wasn’t going to happen. Because of that, Stephanie lost interest till a couple months after she turned four.
She picked it up again with Mom, though. And, by spring, she could read simple words. I was glad to help, but something else drew my attention - Kimmy and I were becoming very close.

Danny – Dec. 23 - Kimmy Loses a Letter:
One of our first encounters with just how strange Kimmy could be occurred today. The girls celebrated having off from school by playing over here. In the middle, Kimmy recalled that Stephanie had stopped trying to learn to read for a few months.
“Hey, squirt,” Kimmy said as Stephanie wheeled a doll into the living room in her stroller, changing its diaper and clothes while we spoke. “You made the right choice not reading yet. Soon we’ll be down to 25 letters. You’d have to learn all over again.”
D.J. looked strangely at Kimmy and asked the question Pam and I both had. “Kimmy, what on Earth are you talking about?”
“It’s true, Deej. All those people sing ‘Noel.’ Then, this girl moves into our school district, and what’s her name? Noelle. Her mom wants to run for city council.”
“I’m not following,” D.J. said.
Pam couldn’t help but giggle. “I’m sure she’s just making some silly joke, Dear.”
“No, I’m serious, Mrs. Tanner. The signs are everywhere. No L. Pretty soon, that girl’s parents are going to run things. And, the letter ‘L’ will be history.” She noted our skeptical looks. “Of course, you Tanners will have it easy. My name will be Gibber, though. In fact, each name in my full name will lose an ‘L.’”
I hesitated to say anything, but decided I should, just in case she believed that. “Kimmy, I think the name Noelle is French.”
“Really? Why are we letting other languages decide how many letters we have?”
“We won’t,” D.J. piped up. “Honest, hard working Americans will always make sure there are 26 letters in the alphabet.” She turned to Pam and me and shrugged. “It’s the easiest way to talk to her sometimes,” D.J. stated softly, sounding more mature than most girls of her eight years and ten months, as she sometimes did. Pam agreed.
“That’s a relief. Wait a minute, though. That means I won’t be able to use that as an excise for not understanding spelling anymore.”
“You mean…you already used it once?” I said in disbelief.
“Only once. The teacher said the same thing. I thought she’d been tricked.”
“You know, I’m sure with some tutoring you could really improve your spelling, and feel a lot better about yourself,” Pam said gently. “I would help tutor you.” It was the kind of offer she tended to make; she was such a giving person.
“No, thanks, Mrs. Tanner. I don’t want to stretch my brain too far.”
That evening, after the kids were in bed, I remarked to Pam, “Kimmy seems a bit lazier than she did in second grade.”
“I know. But, trust me, Danny, she’ll be okay. D.J. will take her under her wing, I’m sure. And, if it wasn’t for the fact they lived further away from us, I might convince her to get help,” she said optimistically. “It’s not going to be easy, I’ll admit.”
“No. You’re right, though. She really does look up to D.J.. Maybe someday, that will translate into looking up to you, too.” Sadly, about half a year after the Gibblers moved next door, Pam was dead, and unable to exert the influence she could have with Kimmy over here so much more.

Joey – Feb. 9, 1986 – Steph Borrowing D.J.’s Clothes, and Danny Doting on Steph:
Today was D.J.’s birthday. Stephanie, now four, was happy with her own toys. Danny looked at me as we got D.J.’s cake decorated. “Joey, I’ve got a Cookie Monster puppet in my sock drawer,” he told me in a hushed tone.
“Thanks, Danny, but really, I’m a lot more into cartoons than Sesame Street.”
“I mean for Stephanie,” Danny said with a chuckle. “Remember D.J.’s party last year? Steph had just turned three, and cried because D.J. got all the gifts. She couldn’t understand, so I got her a doll. The Christmas she was two, a few months earlier, I gave her one of my gifts because she was so excited. She tore through her presents so fast she was out of them when D.J. was only half way through.”89
I nodded. “She thought your necktie was a bow and tried to wear it.”
“Is it ready yet?” Pam asked excitedly as she rushed into the kitchen. I went into the living room as Danny nodded. They lit the candles, and soon we were all singing “Happy Birthday To You” to D.J.. “Make a wish,” the excitement machines, Pam and Stephanie, shouted at the same time. D.J. did, and blew them out.
Danny looked a bit disappointed, though, once D.J. had all her gifts. “Danny, what has you so down?” I asked as we cleaned up the kitchen.
“Aw, Joey, Stephanie was fine today. She didn’t need the present I bought her.”
“Well, Danny, she is four now. She’s growing up.”
“I know. I just love to shower her with good things. I wish she’d stay little. But, pretty soon, she’ll be going to school, going to friends’ houses, dating, then the prom. One day she’ll be married. She’ll move out and never call or write.”
I held up a hand. “Whoa, Danny. Writing, I can see, but this girl has your gift of gab; she will always call. In fact, you will have to pay her to stop calling.”
I made Danny laugh, as always. “Thanks, man.” He patted my shoulder. “You’re right. And, there will still be fun, even when she has her own life, separate from us.”
I assured him there would be. At that moment, D.J. came into the kitchen asking Danny to come into the room. She was upset, but Pam was giggling, and Danny quickly said, “Awww, isn’t that the cutest thing you’ve ever seen? Joey, you know where the camera is, right?” I fetched it while D.J. complained that Stephanie was wearing her clothes, and had stuffed them with tissue paper so they fit on her body. He snapped several pictures, as he would other times Stephanie did this.
Danny didn’t heed D.J.’s complaints; he simply said that they needed to enjoy Stephanie while she was young, as he gave her a big hug. Danny loved to shower love on all the girls, and always would. Pam and I simply told D.J. to get used to it, and Pam helped her think of times when she’d been the center of attention. She finally agreed; the birthday had been a lot of fun; Jesse had even shown up on his motorcycle and dropped something off for her. D.J. was starting to learn to share the glory some, at least.


87 “Dr. Dare Rides Again” mentions that this happened

88 Hence the difference between the one she almost went to in “A Pox in Our House” and this, mentioned in “Slumber Party.” She sees herself as more grown up two years later, and doesn’t think of the one with her mom as a slumber party. Not only that, recalling the one with her mom would have made her sad about missing Pam, so she chose not to in that first season episode.

89 “Two For One Christmas Fun,” a TV Universe book. Background info like this is in both universes, but Stephanie is too jealous of Allie and they split too fast for lifelong friends. But, it’s just right for Steph and Gia. Also, Danny is a bit too much of a neat freak compared to book norm. “Family history” should be considered to have book events happen with Gia and Stephanie in the TV Universe, and the family Secret Santa not done. That is, unless one favors “Merry Christmas, World” – actions are like TV Michelle – for the TVU. (“My Ho-Ho-Horrible Christmas” is clearly much more like book characters, as you’ll see.)