Wednesday's Quotes: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 07-15-2009, 01:25 PM

"Please Leave The Premises":

(Ralph & Alice are fighting the rent increase by doing without heat, gas, water & electricity. Alice wants to leave.)

Ralph: "I'm the General. What I say goes."

Alice: "Than you better say Alice because I am going."

"Man From Space":

Ralph: "You are not up on the latest developments."

Alice: "I'm not? Who is it that lets your pants out every week?"

"Hero Part 1":

(Ralph opens a can of turpinetine. Tommy is amazed.)

Tommy: "That proves that I am right."

Ralph: "Right about what?"

Tommy: "Well, I say that it is all muscle. But, all my friends say that you are a big load of fat."

"Without Reservations":

(Everyone is in their uniforms. Ed's bellhop uniform is too tight.)

Ralph: "Are there any questions?"

Ed: "Yes, how do I get out of this chicken outfit?"

"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"):

Trixie: "Ed, that is very encouraging that you sold to your last customer. Maybe after talking to all those people, you finally hit on the right approach. Now, do you remember what you said?"

Ed: "Sure. I said: `Mama, you just go to buy this iron.'"

"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":

(Ralph is dressed up as a hola girl. Trixie is dressed up as a sailor. They are rehearsing for a talent contest. Ralph comes in.)

Ralph: "What are you doing and who is he?"

Alice: "That's Trixie."

Ralph (to Trixie): "All right. What are you doing and who is she (Alice)?"

"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":

Alice: "My mother had an offer to appear in silent pictures but she turned that down."

Ralph: "For your information, the reason why she did that was because she couldn't keep silent."

"Principle of The Thing":

(The Kramdens have no water. Ed tries to listen to the pipes with a stethoscope to see what the trouble is.)

Ed: "There is your trouble right there. No water."

Ralph: "Did you hear that? He said no water. There's an intelligent man who has spent practically his entire life in the swer and believe you me when he says that there is no water, there is no water." (yells): "I KNOW THERE IS NO WATER."

Ed: "Now you are getting it from the expert's mouth."

"Principle of The Thing":

Ralph: "I think the wallpaper is pretty. Alice thinks it is rotten. What do you think?"

(Ed looks at it.)

Ed: "I think that you are both right. It's pretty rotten."

07-15-2009, 01:25 PM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,042	Wednesday's Quotes: "Please Leave The Premises": (Ralph & Alice are fighting the rent increase by doing without heat, gas, water & electricity. Alice wants to leave.) Ralph: "I'm the General. What I say goes." Alice: "Than you better say Alice because I am going." "Man From Space": Ralph: "You are not up on the latest developments." Alice: "I'm not? Who is it that lets your pants out every week?" "Hero Part 1": (Ralph opens a can of turpinetine. Tommy is amazed.) Tommy: "That proves that I am right." Ralph: "Right about what?" Tommy: "Well, I say that it is all muscle. But, all my friends say that you are a big load of fat." "Without Reservations": (Everyone is in their uniforms. Ed's bellhop uniform is too tight.) Ralph: "Are there any questions?" Ed: "Yes, how do I get out of this chicken outfit?" "Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"): Trixie: "Ed, that is very encouraging that you sold to your last customer. Maybe after talking to all those people, you finally hit on the right approach. Now, do you remember what you said?" Ed: "Sure. I said: `Mama, you just go to buy this iron.'" "Life Upon The Wicked Stage": (Ralph is dressed up as a hola girl. Trixie is dressed up as a sailor. They are rehearsing for a talent contest. Ralph comes in.) Ralph: "What are you doing and who is he?" Alice: "That's Trixie." Ralph (to Trixie): "All right. What are you doing and who is she (Alice)?" "Life Upon The Wicked Stage": Alice: "My mother had an offer to appear in silent pictures but she turned that down." Ralph: "For your information, the reason why she did that was because she couldn't keep silent." "Principle of The Thing": (The Kramdens have no water. Ed tries to listen to the pipes with a stethoscope to see what the trouble is.) Ed: "There is your trouble right there. No water." Ralph: "Did you hear that? He said no water. There's an intelligent man who has spent practically his entire life in the swer and believe you me when he says that there is no water, there is no water." (yells): "I KNOW THERE IS NO WATER." Ed: "Now you are getting it from the expert's mouth." "Principle of The Thing": Ralph: "I think the wallpaper is pretty. Alice thinks it is rotten. What do you think?" (Ed looks at it.) Ed: "I think that you are both right. It's pretty rotten."